2093. Compatibility Axioms #511-520


NOTE: A man’s domains are those relationship issues about which he’s the boss, near-boss, thinks he should be, or aspires to be that eminent person. Either as he sees it or concludes from daily negotiations or haggling with his woman. [189]

511. It’s the territorial imperative in coupledom. She shows disrespect when she invades his domains and signals his insignificance when she succeeds.[189]

512. Disrespect shown to a man piles up to kill his love. Insignificance piles up to end his presence. [189]

513. Symptoms of less love and his impending departure can be found in less interest for fulfilling his woman’s hopes and dreams. [189]

514. When women try to lead in masculine domains, much as feminists do, men find bigger or better ways to stay ahead. This leads to put downs, mistreatment, and an ‘I’ll show you’ spirit. Examples: rap music, family abandonment, and abusiveness. [189]

515. Relationship success comes from making daily decisions that build mutually recognized and honored domains for each spouse. An organization cannot long function under two equal CEOs. [189]

516. Men appreciate cheap and easy sex. But, they don’t much value unearned gifts. Such female behavior cheapens a man’s conquering spirit. It denies him opportunity to prove his manly worth by other than sexual performance. [190]

517. A woman’s eagerness for the excitement of sex make her appear too loose for a man to expect her faithfulness.  [190]

518. Being given what a man expects to be a challenge turns him toward other challenges. [190]

519. The female nature intuitively guides mature girls and women away from the extreme behavior of cheap and easy sex. They know something else is much better for them. [190]

520. Though not as women expect, casual sex energizes men. If she’s that free and easy, then he can pursue the next score, notch the bedpost again, and go after more. [190]

 

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2092. Compatibility Axioms #501-510


All that follows below is based on the natures of men and women as they are born. Women have to figure out what’s best for them given the lessons they have learned in life and the relationships they enter.

501. Men flourish with a woman’s respect and gratefulness much more than her love and affection. [175]

502. Both individually and collectively, men are as handsome, charming, gentlemanly, and beneficial as women and ladies treat them. They are as unappealing, aggressive, and dominant as women call them. The self-fulfilling prophecy works both ways. [175]

503. If a woman helps a man build his castle, he primarily judges her effectiveness by how she supports what he does at work and play. He takes her support inside her nest for granted. [185]

504. If he won’t modify his habits in order to please her before they first have sex together, he sure won’t do it afterward. [185]

505. If attracted to a woman he respects or has not conquered, a man’s good side emerges. If his bad side shows up, and she can’t turn it around, he lacks respect for her. All men have both sides. [185]

506. A mature woman can adjust to her man’s sharp tongue much easier than he can cope with hers. [186]

507. When words are enough to conquer, that and little else is what men offer. [186]

508. She loves three little words. Com-mit-ment counts and so does, “What’s for dinner?” [186]

509. Virtual virginity buys time to earn a man’s devotion, which bonds more tightly than commitment. [186]

510. Women sing: ♫ I can do anything he can do better.♫ Men respond: ♫ Just you wait and see. ♫ [189]

 

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2091. IT’S DOWNTIME AGAIN


As you know, I am relocating and it’s time to pause posting for 10 days. I expect to return about election day, but in the meantime I’m hopeful of responding normally to many of your comments except when I’m offline between about OCT 30 and NOV 3.

I leave you with something to study. It’s the new page at blog top, HER BLESSINGS and HIS ADMIRATION. It’s the result of the new project derived from the 93 Female Blessings at Birth articles posted previously.

Ladies, may all your days brighten with new thoughts to help you figure out how to make your life more enjoyable.

Respectfully,

Guy

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2090. “Darling” — Cultural History


I said that I wouldn’t bore you with it, but here it is anyway.

Until the 1960s or thereabouts, men routinely used casual pet names especially for younger females—darling, honey, etc.—to gain friendly attention, show recognition, and pass appreciation and even affection. Indirectly it endorses the likeability of the female and stamps friendliness on the male. Women knew when they were being hit on disrespectfully, and they had both ways and courage to handle it.

Then along came the feminists. They condemned all men as connecting sex with their use of popular pet names. For example: Hey, sweetheart, how about you and me? Tonight! Your place or mine? As if that were the only way that pet names were used. And if not stated, feminists claimed it to be implied.

Feminists pressured and taught women to demean and humble men for doing what makes both men and women feel good about themselves. As a main tactic of their political movement, feminists attached sexual overtones to usage of such terms, and a new social process evolved to enlarge the political correctness movement. Friendliness in men was cast as always suggestive of sex to which women were taught to take offense. It indirectly and feminists directly reminded women that all men are dangerous and therefore not respectable.

Prophecy soon overwhelmed custom and it went like this. Feminists called manly personal endearments sexually suggestive and offensive. Suspicions arose easily. Women resented, withdrew, and defended against pet names even to calling it sexual harassment. Friendliness became guarded. Compatibility became dubious. Harassment claims took men to court and Human Resources company discrimination against men reversed common sense. Trust faded and respect soon followed. Lack of respect for women followed lack of respect for men. The threat of sexual harassment charges soon locked men out of passing compliments to women. Men went silent, less friendly, less compatible, and women turned to women to learn about men, which exacerbates female problems.

Complying with the feminist agenda and fashion of women sticking together, women smothered the friendly pleasure of men. It drove a spike of doubt into the spirit of compatibility, which lost much of its inborn manly attention, responsibility, and dependability.

Men accept doing things the feminist way because feminist-inspired cheap and easy sex compensates. Women don’t handle it as well. A man’s love is founded on unconditional respect for the female sex and conditional respect for his love object, both of which are now closer to vapor than devotion.

And so, the use of pet names and female-friendly terms of endearment passed on. Men changed their behavior due to legal and social pressures for the improprieties of a few that feminists claimed to be universal. Political correctness was born about the same decade. It also started the male-female wars that have now morphed into the political so-called war against women. The love and respect of men for women is reduced somewhat by the lack of friendliness that pet names used to generate.

 

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2089. “Darling”— It’s Time for a Comeback


My self-gratitude articles stress that women lack gratefulness for themselves. Recently a lady reminded me of something Her Majesty Grace emphasized for years. Women do not receive the attention, recognition, and compliments they routinely expect or deserve from men that showers friendliness on everyday situations.

We need to re-initiate a customary practice that used to do exactly that, albeit indirectly. Men should tromp on political correctness and restore routinely the use of generic pet names when dealing with women. Such as these: honey, sweetie, darling, sweetheart, sweetie pie, sugar, and a few others that don’t come immediately to mind. I’m not talking about hitting on them but sprinkling everyday speech routinely with affectionate honors.

For example: Good morning, darling (to a friend). Or: Thank you, sweetheart, I appreciate you saving me on that point. Or: Hey, honey, I saw you dancing last night. You looked great. And, darling, that dress was a wowser. Or: Hey, sweetie, haven’t seen you for a month. Let’s grab a coffee. Or, Sweetie pie, you deserve a treat. Let’s you and grandpa just go get some ice cream. Or: Sugar, you fed me like a sweetheart should. Just like mom used to. If you weren’t married, I’d sweep you off your feet and marry you in a heartbeat.

When done sincerely and without ulterior motive, it automatically adds friendliness to a situation.

Looking back to earlier years, I well remember that I felt good using such friendly terms. I’ve done it a few times recently and felt the same way, good about myself passing on some special attention and perhaps light-hearted affection. (Being PC, I suspect it’s much more easily acceptable to women since I am so old relative to them.)

I have resurrected the practice for me. So, ladies, if I call you darling or sweetie take it as the pleasant friendliness intended. I will easily flip those complimentary terms around without thinking. Just a new habit. If you don’t appreciate such attention, just let me know and I’ll exclude you.

Farewell for now, you sweeties of every kind. It’s great chatting at you. I shall not bore you with what I threw out, namely a thousand words of old and new school history to justify my decision.

 

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2088. Female Blessings at Birth — 91-93 Plus


We have arrived at the last three of the blessings that women carry but may not use. The new blessing/admiration seeds are bolded at the end of each item. I cite her blessings as men might see them and add a man’s natural response.

Your comments help and I continue to seek your T or F on each.

91. The root of my pleasure in life is my female uniqueness out of which popularity and sexual assets support my self-worth. [Guy adds: Knowing that men will do whatever women require for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex, smarter women rank feminine uniqueness higher than pleasure, self-respect higher than popularity, and self-worth higher than sexual relations. Her blessing: She’s of great worth as mate to a man. His admiration: (Short of what she would like.) Highly unlikely to pin me down—until she proves that she’s worth it, that is.]

92. I am grateful that my girlhood dreams came directly out of my heart, which I embellished with deep romance and well-deserved masculine chivalry. [Guy adds: Thus, a woman develops her primary mission in life. To live a good life in fulfillment of her girlhood dream. Her blessing: She knows what she wants her life to become, the process of loving and living for her and others. His admiration: For my long-range dreams and ambitions, she fits okay into my life. I can do romantic, chivalrous, nice, pleasant, kind, courteous, trusting, loyal, and respectable for my mate. Ain’t no big deal. Were I like other guys with few dreams or ambitions, she’s better off than I am.]

93. I am grateful for my social conscience in addition to the moral one. By that I mean my ability to analyze myself. I ease my guilt by analyzing myself as to cause and cure. Sometimes it works. Other times it doesn’t. I often overdo it with unintended consequences. I can even sink into depression by overdoing it. I’m still grateful, because it enables me to ease most of the misery of everyday guilt. [Guy adds: As to right and wrong and blame and innocence, self-analysis is a mixed blessing. Used beneficially and she profits. Used unwittingly and she punishes herself. For instance, she does something wrong or just out of kilter; the results were just not what she expected. Guilt sets in. She has to do something. To figure that out she turns to self-analysis. What did I do wrong? Insult them? Speak out when I shouldn’t? Hurt their feelings? Unable to find out for sure, she imagines possible answers. The more analysis, the more possibilities. The more possibilities, the more worries. The more worries, the more distraught she becomes. She cranks herself into a tizzy of options none of which appear to be appropriate and so her guilt intensifies rather than lessens. She loses sleep. She ignores or forgets this. We all make mistakes and recovery is everything. Her ability to search herself for cause and cure enables plans for recovery and self-analysis can ease her guilt. But it’s not all blessing. It can cause self-induced discomfort more than comfort. Some use it in ways that paralyze. Others recede into depression. But the smarter ones use it to just recover from mistakes rather than trying to solve problems for others. The more successful women are those less bothered by endless guilt. Her blessing: She can admit her mistakes and take blame for relationship friction. She’s endowed with the ability to minimize damage to herself and reduce blame on others. His admiration: I can’t do that. If someone is wrong or makes mistakes, they deserve what they get. It includes me, although I admit to escaping without much self-analysis.]

Thus, the series ends but the new project doesn’t. I shall soon post the new project condensed version—aka her blessings vs. his admiration—probably in one page at shown in the menu at blog top.

Three closing thoughts:

  • The item most declared false by readers was the first one that started, “I am a great kisser….” At post 2007 the score was: 11 True and 4 False)
  • Out of 391 opinions cast, only 7% were False. In fact, none of the Fs, while legitimate conviction among readers, was sufficiently convincing to deny that it’s inherited at birth. I therefore presume it pretty accurate that all 92 are fairly good descriptions of the blessings. I’m sure there are more than 92 and my research continues. (I’d like to hear from anyone in serious disagreement with my conclusions.)
  • The series confirms this lesson in my mind. I, if not readers, am convinced that self-gratitude is the taproot of female happiness. Without it women can’t find enough gratitude in others to be important enough to themselves and thus jump on the road to happiness. For all you unhappy women, bless yourselves by claiming the blessings in this series as descriptive of you. Act on it and you can lift yourself out of the doldrums or misery that you face daily.

Goodbye, ladies, until the next article. But don’t ever forget this series. It’s bedrock for a happy female life.

 

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2087. Female Blessings at Birth — 88-90 Plus


We near the end of the blessings that women carry but may not use. The new project seeds are bolded at the end of each item. I cite her blessings as men might see them and add a man’s natural response.

Your comments help and I continue to seek your T or F on each.

88. I’m grateful for the ability but I wish I understood better my own nature for earning happiness. [Guy adds: Specifically, she lacks understanding of the link between her motivation to earn and sustain self-importance and the requirement for self-gratitude that unlocks the door to earning happiness. More of one inflates the other, and more of both enhances her personality and roles in life. She is as good a person as both of them are high and it happens this way. She is important to herself to the extent that she confirms her gratitude for others. Gratefulness for others bounces back to her that she is important to them. Her life revolves around this closed loop: Self-importance comes from finding gratitude in her heart for others, which makes her display gratefulness for them, which they transform into feedback of her importance to them, and which closes the loop with her having a greater sense of self-importance. Thus, she depends on self-importance and self-gratitude to calm jittery nerves, squelch undeserved guilt, and convert anxiety to encouragement in others, which paves the road to her happiness. While she needs stimulation from outside herself, she is self-contained for processing life to the fullest for her and hers, but it all comes from keeping self-importance and self-gratitude inflated. The closed loop also describes the essence of femininity in action. Her blessing: She learns how to earn her way to happiness by finding gratitude in people and things. His admiration: It takes a wonderful and influential person to find so much to be grateful for in the face of all that men have to face. How can she do it. She’s amazing.]

89. Just as I am sex object to males, they are romance objects to me. [Guy adds: Life becomes simpler just by acknowledging that fact. Her blessing: She knows what she’s after and doesn’t mind being targeted to get it. His admiration: She has wily ways of using the former to get the latter.

90. My sense of neatness makes me feel good about myself. I use it to enhance my prettiness. [Guy adds: Along with modesty and vanity, neatness is a major ‘weapon’ in the female ‘arsenal’ for battling men. Her blessing: Neatness adds to her attractiveness and mental strength. His admiration: Neatness symbolizes dedication to herself. It shows that she has self-respect, self-discipline, and determination not to be easily pawed upon.

As before, mark each item T or F with whatever comment you wish to add.

 

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