I continue with situations that make women more aware of what’s happening mentally between the sexes. [Guy adds: ]
19. Virtual virginity softens his expectations that she submit to his natural dominance. It enables her to structure their relationship to her liking and suitability for marriage. [Guy adds: Female purity is a minor attraction. It’s all those men—unknown in name and number—that beat him to her, enable her to compare his performance, and cause him to imagine things that plague his memory. On top of that, who, when, why, how, and where will he face them? Men go deeply against their nature when they have to accept facing a man that previously slept with their woman. All the alibis in the world don’t assuage the hurt and perhaps hatred that he has to suppress. It’s most of the persistent grumble or worse that exists between mates when he knows of her sexual history. That modern men seem to accept their women having had previous lovers does not mean it doesn’t affect respect for her. Women loved less than they deserve is a direct function of less respect and seems to be a modern phenomenon, which is a direct reflection of her man’s knowledge and loathing of her sexual past.]
20. In the face of her ardent virtual virginity defense, a man will become or can be lured into an unnatural-for-males submissive spirit, a premarital sign of his devotion to her. The value of long courtship and engagement is this: Whatever dominant/submissive balance they achieve becomes habitual, and such habits structure the marriage. [Guy adds: Consequently, virtual virginity has more inherent influence with men than does actual virginity. True virginal innocence energizes a guy to be more dominant, to not let her escape, to be first. Virtual virginity enables her to shape their relationship.]
21. Recovery is everything. When wife continually acts like the boss, he feels insignificant, and this simultaneously makes her less attractive and other women more appealing. Perhaps unpleasant to accept, but the choice is hers. If she expects to keep him, she needs to sacrifice what is meaningful to him. He gave up his independence for her, so she must pay a price worthwhile to him. And the primal male nature calls submission the price. [Guy adds: When she suppresses her natural bossiness, she opens the door to her submissive spirit, which has far greater potential to bring harmony into their relationship.]
22. Fawning submission to husband produces loss of her self-respect and his consequent loss of respect of her. On the other hand, in-his-face refusals amount to challenging his sense of significance. Repeat refusals put her in the dumpee seat and his hand on the ejection lever. [Guy adds: Nothing works better than patience and indirectness to balance his expectation of submission with her submissive spirit—that thing so embedded in her heart that she is grateful for it. Virtual virginity opens the door to negotiation and it carries forward into marriage.]
23. The smart wife honors her husband’s role such that he doesn’t have to exploit his dominant nature, especially its explosive underside. Loss of temper makes him feel bad about himself (well hidden to be sure), which means he thinks less of her for having provoked it. [Guy adds: Her likeability and marital success depend on what he hears from her mouth. He doesn’t pay attention to what she says simply because he doesn’t like it or her for saying it.]
More will be posted tomorrow about a wife’s eternal battle with her man’s expectations.