Tag Archives: boyfriend

2013. Female Blessings at Birth — 16-18


It’s the sixth group and I’m grateful for whatever feedback you send.

I continue taking the (currently 85) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination.

Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life.

Where “Guy explains,” I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge my assumptions of how women are motivated by virtues they inherit at birth.

16. I am capable of finding new ways almost every day by which to show and encourage my boyfriend that he must respect me for who I am, what I do, and especially what I refuse to do. [Guy explains: Her capability to enhance her future by protecting herself in the present arises out of her adaptable female nature and her near-constant thinking about her man. Her dedication to self-protection arises out of 1) her sense of relative importance with others. 2) The inherited-at-birth belief that she deserves respect as person, female, and girlfriend. 3) The natural expectation that boyfriend’s respect will be confirmed by his actions and reactions aimed at pleasing her. She intuits but social pressures encourage her to ignore this. If he can’t respect her wishes for chasteness before marriage, he won’t give too much respect for what she wishes after that event. IOW, refusing to yield before marriage earns the essential ingredient of masculine love, respect, that extends beyond the altar.]
17. I am grateful that men and I battle continually to see if a man conquers me for sex first or I conquer him for marriage. [Guy explains: Her heart is intuitively convinced: 1) Protecting her sexual assets is essential for the fulfillment of her girlhood hopes and dreams—although the connection is easily broken by social pressure. 2) Competing and directness best protect her interest before marriage but cooperating and indirectness serve her best after the altar. 3) Failing to yield to each man earns self-respect which also earns the respect of other men.]
18. I am vital to the people in my life and grateful that I can read and interpret the signs of it. [Guy explains: Her vitality arises out of her sense of importance in the lives of others. Her gratefulness arises out of her inherited-at-birth relationship expertise and ability to sense and interpret feedback.]

Example for responses: “17-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired if you take exception.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

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2011. Female Blessings at Birth — 10-12


Fourth group and I thank you for offering your opinions.

I take the (currently 84) default attitudes for a test drive, to purify them with deeper analysis by more people. I request readers either confirm or deny each numbered item below with or without comment. To make it easier, I’m only posting three at a time.

Just reply to this article and identify each item by its number and indicate true/false. Accept each default as true to begin with. I will rewrite or delete as results of your analyses justify it.

True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life. If you learned an item during your life, try as best you can to determine if you actually learned it or just confirmed what already existed in your heart. [If learned or foreign to you, label the item False.]

10. I can convert the worth I see in others into value for my life and vice versa. [Editor says: She’s born to be adaptable, and mutual worth that is mutually appreciated breeds cooperation and confirms compatibility. Women, as the relationship experts, drive the compatibility bus.]
11. I depend on my husband by doing for him rather than expecting him to do for me. [Editor says: It enlarges her sense of self-importance to do for him, and he interprets it as respect and gratitude that he deserves. Reversed, ‘him doing for her’ all the time translates as his appreciation for her. Being appreciated is temporary to her and has little influence over events that add to her importance and shape her thinking about everything else. Consequently, she becomes much more influential when ‘she does for him’ rather than the reverse. She’s born to do it that way, the intuitive way.]
12. I don’t depend on my boyfriend. He does for me rather than me doing for him. [Editor says: It calls for the opposite reasoning of #11 above. His actions ‘doing for her’ program his heart toward devotion for her. Without actions to please himself for pleasing her, his heart doesn’t reprogram, his devotion doesn’t develop. Furthermore, conquest slows or stops his actions to please her to the same extent, because her yielding sex their first time together tells him that’s all he has to do. He now ‘owns’ their sex agenda so all is well in his world.]

Example for responses: “10-T (comments if given)” works okay to reflect your opinion of true to that one item.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

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1951. Favored Quotes—Collection 40


“As for me, my primary motivation for transforming my outer appearance was to NEVER LET MYSELF BE ECLIPSED BY ANOTHER WOMAN in my boyfriend’s mind. Of course, if I stand next to a movie star, I might not be as outstanding, but I am confident that my continuous efforts at perfecting my skills will make me a dignified lady next to her. I just never want my boyfriend to ever think that some other woman is so gorgeous BECAUSE of my sloppiness.” [SBaby at 806]

“Many, many women — perhaps out of their woundedness — advocate manipulation (instead of indirectness), aloofness (instead of principled feistiness), superiority (instead of respect), etc. The differences might sound minor, but my experience has been that they instead are a gulf… and one avenue leads women to crustiness and increased discontent, whereas the other leads them to gentleness and increased peace.” [Not-so-annonymous Anne at 1409]

“Men are powerful, and women are magical. [Breatheeatlive at 1904]

“And yet I know it’s not OK, and that it is not right that women should be pressured into a kind of “lease with option to buy” arrangement with their boyfriends in order to have a chance at marriage and family.” [Lisette at 1945]

 “I have to ‘play the game or stay on the bench’. The game being modesty and the bench being singledom.” [Brown_eyes at 1924]

“It’s the 10th day of my having adopted this philosophy and I’m still amazed by how my mood/confidence really rises and falls upon the degree of satisfaction and pride in my own appearance. I used to be guilty of taking shortcuts – I wasn’t a slob exactly – more of a 5/10 most days because I never thought of linking self-respect with personal prettiness, certainly not in the terms you’ve set out. I only bothered to dress up when I first started new jobs but inevitably, once the novelty and perceived need dwindled, so did my standards. Now it’s different – I can really appreciate the effect it has on my mood. When I’m very satisfied with my appearance, I genuinely am unaffected by what people think, whether it’s prompted by flattery, curiosity or envy. Compliments, when they come, are lovely but I don’t feel the need to seek them because I’m secure that I’ve met or exceeded my own standards for prettiness. One of my male colleagues told me I looked charming today. That’s the first time anyone (male or female) has said that about me and given the working culture I’m in, it was very nice icing on the cake! Thank you for making me realise that taking the time to make myself attractive isn’t trying to create what doesn’t exist, or mask faults, but rather to compliment, complement and highlight what I’ve been endowed with, and for which I am learning to be grateful!” [PeachBlossoms at 1146]

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1921. Compatibility Axioms #151-160


151. Relationships without sex have an unrecognized benefit for girls and women, men learn to be romantic.
The most effective teachers withhold sex in order to hold manly attention long enough to change masculine habits toward more romance.[91]

152. Masculine-style sexual freedom for women nullifies the male’s conquering spirit and weakens womanly influence over male dominance and aggression. [91]

153. In addition to more freely yielding unmarried sex, feminist thinking prompts women to make more fundamental mistakes dealing with men. [92]

154. Girls and women lose out with ignorant rationalizations: Get pregnant to capture or hold a man. A married man is better than nothing. We’re great in bed, so he must love me. If we don’t shack up, I’ll lose him. [92]

155. When a woman initiates sex, it’s his luck more than her that stimulates his self-admiration. Men value a woman more highly when she confirms his self-admiration and makes him feel significant. Luck just confirms his hunting hopes and so he tries elsewhere. [93]

156. The male’s hunting nature makes easily captured sex targets also easy to release. Difficult-to-track-and-capture sex targets become manly trophies. [93]

157. Women ignore old school female virtue in favor of new school ‘anything goes’. Consequently, even the Marrying Man loses interest in marriage and focuses on easy-to-escape relationships. [93]

158. The excitement of a new boyfriend distorts a female’s thinking. She looks at today and forgets all the tomorrows. The future is the female’s arena and the present is the man’s. [93]

159. This poor strategy causes women to lose boyfriends. She thinks sex will capture a man, her romancing will convince him that she’s the one for him, and her love will hold him. [93]

160. Males live with and respect females for it: Playing hard to get thwarts a man’s conquering agenda and tames his masculine spirit, especially if she’s a mate-target rather than just a target for sex.[96]

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936. Virgin? Keep It Secret! — Part II


CAUTION: Readers cite this post as inappropriate for ladies. I agree. But some women need it for their bag of tricks. Men sometimes go too far. Women need extreme measures to rein in their natural but persistent curiosity. The post doesn’t offer advice; it says she can, not that she should.

———————–

Yesterday’s post defended the strategy of females keeping their virgin status secret from everyone. However, boyfriends (and perhaps workplace harassers) keep trying to uncover at least some minimum, after which he treats her according to his standards about such females. Keeping her history secret, especially her status re virginity, provides women a way to balance male dominance.

Tactics exist to take the heat off of her. Offer tit for tat. He wants to know about her history? She wants to know about his knowledge of prim and proper sexual performance, of how things should be in real life. Not interested in his broad promises of Nirvana but details about the touchy feely side. If she’s expected to disclose what she’s done, he should disclose how he does it. Right? It’s only fair, so invite him to spell it out!

Stop signs can be erected that make a man stop talking or even wanting to continue. The more personal she makes it for him, the more he will dodge, change subject, or otherwise maneuver to escape without answering. She’s never seen a man turn sensitive about himself? Try a few of these on him.

She can use one or two of these examples until he learns better. Of course, she leads off with the old standard, “I don’t know but I’ve been told….”

  • Where did you learn to do foreplay the right way? You know, Act I of what men do to please and keep rather than disappoint and lose their love interest.
  • How did you learn to value afterplay (post-coital intimacy) the female way? You know, Act III of what men do to please and keep rather than disappoint and lose their love interest.
  • How do men view females after conquest? Not immediately, but the next day? Does it affect you that way?
  • What part or parts of sexual relations means the most to a woman? What’s the least important to a man?
  • Is a beer, cig, or sleep better than snuggling? Why is that? Are you like that?
  • I know men highly value conquering a female. Why is it such a big deal? Just what is it that causes that? Are you that way?
  • Why do men value virginity so highly? How important to you?
  • What’s the difference in sexual satisfaction for the man and the woman? Where does it end for men? For women?
  • What’s the difference in satisfaction for the man and the woman? Where does it end for men? For women?

If those don’t work for her, she can expand her interests, such as:

  • I’ve always been fascinated by the role of men in foreplay. Not just men but their role. Their reputation says they screw up a lot. Ditto for afterplay. How should these necessaries be performed? Or are they not necessary? What kind of expertise does it take to keep from screwing up? Where did you learn to do it right?
  • How do men evaluate foreplay? What’s the purpose? Who benefits the most? How valuable is it? What and when is enough? How can you tell? How do you know when readiness is mutual, or does it matter? What are the influences that most delight a woman? How important is passion? How does a man handle it, when urgency hasn’t arisen in her?
  • Let’s analyze Act III Afterplay! Is it necessary? Does it help fulfill men? Does she need it? Deserve it? How do men know when she’s satisfied?
  • What causes and how do men handle premature ejaculation? Is she at fault?
  • Don’t men try to bypass deep foreplay to just get on with it? Why is that?

He won’t like her tit for tat tactic. Any one or a couple of such questions should be enough to force a guy to shut down his inquiries. Most men will retreat when she asks the first question. Men want no part of describing the whys and details of their sexual performance especially before the fact. They intuitively recognize her trap and so will shut up.

Players, however, may have a bs line they can fabricate from words and phrases that worked for them in the past. If they answer as if they know what they’re talking about, then they’re players. They’re the worst guys to disclose her history, so she’ll have to get more bold until she shuts him up.

Should the rare guy talk about these things, she has plenty of opportunity to teach him how she expects such things in her life.

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640. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 34


  • Men fear rejection on initial encounters, but they get over it. Women take rejection much harder and recovery is especially difficult if she thinks a relationship has started.

 

  • Husband takes wife for granted, when she displays the independence that men commonly show. He sees her doing well if his attention is not required. Her self-confidence and complaint-free attitude thus work against her. She takes him for granted when she focuses her efforts on the kids or her career.

 

  • As men see it, single women display themselves according to the value they place on their sexual assets. Advertising and sloppy and unattractive appearance means low cost for sex. Attractive neatness and highly modest appearance translates as high cost. As women see it, they value their sexual assets as reward for a guy’s love. Ironically, after capturing boyfriend or husband, they downgrade their appearance, which reduces value of their sexual assets, which downgrades sex for imaginative rewards, which weakens his interest.

 

  • Men respond more to thinking than feelings and don’t like to think that they change. They are also more reluctant to divulge what lies in their heart. Women respond more to feelings, disclose them more readily, and change them more easily.

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572. The Male Glance — Part II


Part I (570) describes men observing females. This flip side describes female preparing to be observed.

Females focus continually on how they appear. The female nature craves manly attention. She takes it as routine confirmation of her value to Self and to those she loves. Compliments work very well, but even flattery beats nothing. Known males are usually best, but strangers can be appreciated for attentions and what they say and do for her—if nice of course.

If father, husband, or boyfriend does not provide a sufficiency of attention, she yearns for more. Virtually any man can provide it, which is better than none, but good looking and eligible guys are much, much, much, much better—even if she’s committed to another.

Compliments confirm and reinforce value of herself to herself. Whatever her preparations and grooming for the occasion, she did well. Pride suffuses her spirit, and her prettiness and attractiveness are reinforced in both mind and appearance. She’s doing the right things with herself.    

Denied the attentions she thinks she deserves, especially as a girl, disappointment sets in. Over time she becomes careless, desperate to get her own man, or disgusted with Self, men, or both. Greater absence of attention follows, and her self-image becomes so devastated that she rationalizes sloppy or manly appearance as her choice. Depression follows easily.

PS. Incidentally, women complain about hits from workers on construction sites. Women shouldn’t; they are not the sex object they presume. Men show off to buddies and outshine competitors with boasts and outrageous displays of bravado. She’s the vehicle they use and not the target, unless she acts suggestive or responds provocatively.

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