Tag Archives: boyfriend

2074. Compatibility Axioms #481-490


All that follows below is based on the natures of men and women as they are born. Women have to figure out what’s best for them given the lessons they have learned in life and the relationships they enter.

481. Easy sex might promote shack up and even short marriage within the mind of her boyfriend. But, it won’t stir up the foundational respect needed for enduring love that survives the inevitable fading of romantic love. [171]

482. Girls cheapen themselves to attract a boyfriend, and success builds habit. Men don’t value cheap women except for sex, which forces such girls as women to bounce from one man to another. [171]

483. Men have access to too much easy sex to endure one female’s nagging and attempts to change him or his life. As one man said of his ex: “Somewhere, someplace, some guy is tired of her s_ _ _!” [171]

484. Promiscuity fends off men, not for her as temporary sex partner but as keeper. Encountering her past lovers threaten him after conquest but doesn’t discourage him before.  [171]

485. To prove their newfound sexual freedom, women abandon the greatest strategy for attracting, capturing, and keeping a man. That is, no sex without devotion and deep obligation developed and proven over an extended courtship (especially including fellatio). [171]

486. When she chases a man for his looks, she wants to impress him and be liked. However, he receives the message that she’s available and disposable. [172]

487. Go after the hunk and dislike what follows the bunk. After she beds the hottie, she’s as disposable as a nottie. Hunks learn early that they get what they want without giving of themselves. So, they keep getting and getting, which calls for someone else. [172]

488. A husband views his wife’s ‘constructive criticism’ this way: “I know it’s good for me. I just can’t stand so much goodness.” [172]

489. If he does not see that she needs him, he will become temporary. Her expressions of affection make her feel good, but they do not show her need for him as do her respect, gratitude, and dependence. [172]

490. Men don’t respect desperate people. A desperate woman is not a keeper and is dumpable without much remorse. [172]

 

18 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

2049. Submissive #07 — Submissive is More Honorable


I continue with the list of situations that make women more aware of what’s happening mentally between the sexes. Let me know if the subject is beginning to drag. I have other subjects that I can intersperse. There’s probably 4-6 dailies left in the submissive series—re-titled out of respect for that female blessing endowed at birth.

Nearly synonymous, I often interchange dominance and submission. It depends on which term seems to best fit the situation but in most cases it means the same thing to the woman on the receiving end of typical male expectations.

14. Competition in marriage favors the primary leader—the husband. Cooperation favors the rest of the team—wife/mother and children. Sustaining her team successfully without challenging his role and self-prescribed authority generates peace in the home, which he expects her to deliver. [Guy adds: From such generated peace with husband not interfering, relationship experts generate harmony. It’s a natural urge and it brightens the female future.]

15. The mutual exchange of spouses pleasing each other, combined with going along to get along, smooths out stormy marital ripples. What is the best model to produce it? Women visualize this model, one head of the family leaves room for one neck to turn the head. There’s much to be said for it for three reasons: 1) It works pretty well as a strategic model and discourages wife from wandering deeply into husband’s domains. 2) It proclaims her role to be subordinate and submissive and thus sounds okay to husbands to talk and even joke about it. 3) It casts her in the role of indirect leader rather than trying to lead husband directly by challenging his authority. [Guy adds: Even that model can be improved upon. I’ve described it elsewhere as a family rank structure. It embellishes the influence of the neck and softens the head’s need for dominance. It’s too lengthy for here, but if you’d like to see it let me know. I’ll put it aside for a few days.]

16. During dating, courtship, and engagement, women lay the groundwork to win or lose in the marital power game. As the relationship expert, a very feminine female knows intuitively how to expect and handle a man’s sense of dominance and his expectation for her submission. Unfortunately, not all women listen to their hearts; for various reasons they automatically give in to their man’s expectations. [Guy adds: When women forget or forego living by what their heart tells them, they weaken their political power in the home. For example: She knows that she deserves to be treated respectfully—first as person, second as wife/girlfriend/fiancée, third as prospective mate. When she lets the first sign of disrespect pass without mention, she opens the gate. More will follow. His disrespect poisons their relationship. The only antidote is to squelch it unflinchingly at the first instance and until it stops. Do whatever it takes. Of course, if he doesn’t stop after just a couple instances, he’s nowhere near Mr. Good Enough. Evidence of disrespect means that his respect is insufficient to generate more than just a little love in his heart. So, turn him into Mr. Dumped, because he will never become her Mr. Right even after decades of marriage.]

17. Each woman knows to compete to prevent conquest before she is ready for it. However, she isn’t aware of one part of the male nature. Her discouragement of his initiative wins his respect, which is the foundation of his love. After conquest, however, competing with him weakens her likeability, the very thing he expects to keep him in pursuit. [Guy adds: Directly resisting his dominance is to challenge him. He expects and accepts it before but not after conquest. Unfortunately, women have indirect ways of resisting submission after conquest, but it sours their own attitude and weakens their likeability.]

18. Her boyfriend’s dominant attitude is offensive, domineering, and borderline unacceptable. Red flags wave. What to do? She needs a boyfriend or potential groom. She may be desperate! This one may be her last chance! There have been so few possible candidates lately! What to do? [Guy adds: If she cannot stand to be that dominated before marriage, why should she expect him to be anything but worse after marriage? Men don’t change to please their woman except before conquest, and even that can be faked.]

Can you use some more wife-promoting situational awareness? Come back tomorrow.

 

3 Comments

Filed under courtship

2013. Female Blessings at Birth — 16-18


It’s the sixth group and I’m grateful for whatever feedback you send.

I continue taking the (currently 85) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination.

Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life.

Where “Guy explains,” I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge my assumptions of how women are motivated by virtues they inherit at birth.

16. I am capable of finding new ways almost every day by which to show and encourage my boyfriend that he must respect me for who I am, what I do, and especially what I refuse to do. [Guy explains: Her capability to enhance her future by protecting herself in the present arises out of her adaptable female nature and her near-constant thinking about her man. Her dedication to self-protection arises out of 1) her sense of relative importance with others. 2) The inherited-at-birth belief that she deserves respect as person, female, and girlfriend. 3) The natural expectation that boyfriend’s respect will be confirmed by his actions and reactions aimed at pleasing her. She intuits but social pressures encourage her to ignore this. If he can’t respect her wishes for chasteness before marriage, he won’t give too much respect for what she wishes after that event. IOW, refusing to yield before marriage earns the essential ingredient of masculine love, respect, that extends beyond the altar.]
17. I am grateful that men and I battle continually to see if a man conquers me for sex first or I conquer him for marriage. [Guy explains: Her heart is intuitively convinced: 1) Protecting her sexual assets is essential for the fulfillment of her girlhood hopes and dreams—although the connection is easily broken by social pressure. 2) Competing and directness best protect her interest before marriage but cooperating and indirectness serve her best after the altar. 3) Failing to yield to each man earns self-respect which also earns the respect of other men.]
18. I am vital to the people in my life and grateful that I can read and interpret the signs of it. [Guy explains: Her vitality arises out of her sense of importance in the lives of others. Her gratefulness arises out of her inherited-at-birth relationship expertise and ability to sense and interpret feedback.]

Example for responses: “17-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired if you take exception.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

5 Comments

Filed under feminine

2011. Female Blessings at Birth — 10-12


Fourth group and I thank you for offering your opinions.

I take the (currently 84) default attitudes for a test drive, to purify them with deeper analysis by more people. I request readers either confirm or deny each numbered item below with or without comment. To make it easier, I’m only posting three at a time.

Just reply to this article and identify each item by its number and indicate true/false. Accept each default as true to begin with. I will rewrite or delete as results of your analyses justify it.

True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life. If you learned an item during your life, try as best you can to determine if you actually learned it or just confirmed what already existed in your heart. [If learned or foreign to you, label the item False.]

10. I can convert the worth I see in others into value for my life and vice versa. [Editor says: She’s born to be adaptable, and mutual worth that is mutually appreciated breeds cooperation and confirms compatibility. Women, as the relationship experts, drive the compatibility bus.]
11. I depend on my husband by doing for him rather than expecting him to do for me. [Editor says: It enlarges her sense of self-importance to do for him, and he interprets it as respect and gratitude that he deserves. Reversed, ‘him doing for her’ all the time translates as his appreciation for her. Being appreciated is temporary to her and has little influence over events that add to her importance and shape her thinking about everything else. Consequently, she becomes much more influential when ‘she does for him’ rather than the reverse. She’s born to do it that way, the intuitive way.]
12. I don’t depend on my boyfriend. He does for me rather than me doing for him. [Editor says: It calls for the opposite reasoning of #11 above. His actions ‘doing for her’ program his heart toward devotion for her. Without actions to please himself for pleasing her, his heart doesn’t reprogram, his devotion doesn’t develop. Furthermore, conquest slows or stops his actions to please her to the same extent, because her yielding sex their first time together tells him that’s all he has to do. He now ‘owns’ their sex agenda so all is well in his world.]

Example for responses: “10-T (comments if given)” works okay to reflect your opinion of true to that one item.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

12 Comments

Filed under feminine

1951. Favored Quotes—Collection 40


“As for me, my primary motivation for transforming my outer appearance was to NEVER LET MYSELF BE ECLIPSED BY ANOTHER WOMAN in my boyfriend’s mind. Of course, if I stand next to a movie star, I might not be as outstanding, but I am confident that my continuous efforts at perfecting my skills will make me a dignified lady next to her. I just never want my boyfriend to ever think that some other woman is so gorgeous BECAUSE of my sloppiness.” [SBaby at 806]

“Many, many women — perhaps out of their woundedness — advocate manipulation (instead of indirectness), aloofness (instead of principled feistiness), superiority (instead of respect), etc. The differences might sound minor, but my experience has been that they instead are a gulf… and one avenue leads women to crustiness and increased discontent, whereas the other leads them to gentleness and increased peace.” [Not-so-annonymous Anne at 1409]

“Men are powerful, and women are magical. [Breatheeatlive at 1904]

“And yet I know it’s not OK, and that it is not right that women should be pressured into a kind of “lease with option to buy” arrangement with their boyfriends in order to have a chance at marriage and family.” [Lisette at 1945]

 “I have to ‘play the game or stay on the bench’. The game being modesty and the bench being singledom.” [Brown_eyes at 1924]

“It’s the 10th day of my having adopted this philosophy and I’m still amazed by how my mood/confidence really rises and falls upon the degree of satisfaction and pride in my own appearance. I used to be guilty of taking shortcuts – I wasn’t a slob exactly – more of a 5/10 most days because I never thought of linking self-respect with personal prettiness, certainly not in the terms you’ve set out. I only bothered to dress up when I first started new jobs but inevitably, once the novelty and perceived need dwindled, so did my standards. Now it’s different – I can really appreciate the effect it has on my mood. When I’m very satisfied with my appearance, I genuinely am unaffected by what people think, whether it’s prompted by flattery, curiosity or envy. Compliments, when they come, are lovely but I don’t feel the need to seek them because I’m secure that I’ve met or exceeded my own standards for prettiness. One of my male colleagues told me I looked charming today. That’s the first time anyone (male or female) has said that about me and given the working culture I’m in, it was very nice icing on the cake! Thank you for making me realise that taking the time to make myself attractive isn’t trying to create what doesn’t exist, or mask faults, but rather to compliment, complement and highlight what I’ve been endowed with, and for which I am learning to be grateful!” [PeachBlossoms at 1146]

Leave a comment

Filed under Dear daughter

1921. Compatibility Axioms #151-160


151. Relationships without sex have an unrecognized benefit for girls and women, men learn to be romantic.
The most effective teachers withhold sex in order to hold manly attention long enough to change masculine habits toward more romance.[91]

152. Masculine-style sexual freedom for women nullifies the male’s conquering spirit and weakens womanly influence over male dominance and aggression. [91]

153. In addition to more freely yielding unmarried sex, feminist thinking prompts women to make more fundamental mistakes dealing with men. [92]

154. Girls and women lose out with ignorant rationalizations: Get pregnant to capture or hold a man. A married man is better than nothing. We’re great in bed, so he must love me. If we don’t shack up, I’ll lose him. [92]

155. When a woman initiates sex, it’s his luck more than her that stimulates his self-admiration. Men value a woman more highly when she confirms his self-admiration and makes him feel significant. Luck just confirms his hunting hopes and so he tries elsewhere. [93]

156. The male’s hunting nature makes easily captured sex targets also easy to release. Difficult-to-track-and-capture sex targets become manly trophies. [93]

157. Women ignore old school female virtue in favor of new school ‘anything goes’. Consequently, even the Marrying Man loses interest in marriage and focuses on easy-to-escape relationships. [93]

158. The excitement of a new boyfriend distorts a female’s thinking. She looks at today and forgets all the tomorrows. The future is the female’s arena and the present is the man’s. [93]

159. This poor strategy causes women to lose boyfriends. She thinks sex will capture a man, her romancing will convince him that she’s the one for him, and her love will hold him. [93]

160. Males live with and respect females for it: Playing hard to get thwarts a man’s conquering agenda and tames his masculine spirit, especially if she’s a mate-target rather than just a target for sex.[96]

10 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

936. Virgin? Keep It Secret! — Part II


CAUTION: Readers cite this post as inappropriate for ladies. I agree. But some women need it for their bag of tricks. Men sometimes go too far. Women need extreme measures to rein in their natural but persistent curiosity. The post doesn’t offer advice; it says she can, not that she should.

———————–

Yesterday’s post defended the strategy of females keeping their virgin status secret from everyone. However, boyfriends (and perhaps workplace harassers) keep trying to uncover at least some minimum, after which he treats her according to his standards about such females. Keeping her history secret, especially her status re virginity, provides women a way to balance male dominance.

Tactics exist to take the heat off of her. Offer tit for tat. He wants to know about her history? She wants to know about his knowledge of prim and proper sexual performance, of how things should be in real life. Not interested in his broad promises of Nirvana but details about the touchy feely side. If she’s expected to disclose what she’s done, he should disclose how he does it. Right? It’s only fair, so invite him to spell it out!

Stop signs can be erected that make a man stop talking or even wanting to continue. The more personal she makes it for him, the more he will dodge, change subject, or otherwise maneuver to escape without answering. She’s never seen a man turn sensitive about himself? Try a few of these on him.

She can use one or two of these examples until he learns better. Of course, she leads off with the old standard, “I don’t know but I’ve been told….”

  • Where did you learn to do foreplay the right way? You know, Act I of what men do to please and keep rather than disappoint and lose their love interest.
  • How did you learn to value afterplay (post-coital intimacy) the female way? You know, Act III of what men do to please and keep rather than disappoint and lose their love interest.
  • How do men view females after conquest? Not immediately, but the next day? Does it affect you that way?
  • What part or parts of sexual relations means the most to a woman? What’s the least important to a man?
  • Is a beer, cig, or sleep better than snuggling? Why is that? Are you like that?
  • I know men highly value conquering a female. Why is it such a big deal? Just what is it that causes that? Are you that way?
  • Why do men value virginity so highly? How important to you?
  • What’s the difference in sexual satisfaction for the man and the woman? Where does it end for men? For women?
  • What’s the difference in satisfaction for the man and the woman? Where does it end for men? For women?

If those don’t work for her, she can expand her interests, such as:

  • I’ve always been fascinated by the role of men in foreplay. Not just men but their role. Their reputation says they screw up a lot. Ditto for afterplay. How should these necessaries be performed? Or are they not necessary? What kind of expertise does it take to keep from screwing up? Where did you learn to do it right?
  • How do men evaluate foreplay? What’s the purpose? Who benefits the most? How valuable is it? What and when is enough? How can you tell? How do you know when readiness is mutual, or does it matter? What are the influences that most delight a woman? How important is passion? How does a man handle it, when urgency hasn’t arisen in her?
  • Let’s analyze Act III Afterplay! Is it necessary? Does it help fulfill men? Does she need it? Deserve it? How do men know when she’s satisfied?
  • What causes and how do men handle premature ejaculation? Is she at fault?
  • Don’t men try to bypass deep foreplay to just get on with it? Why is that?

He won’t like her tit for tat tactic. Any one or a couple of such questions should be enough to force a guy to shut down his inquiries. Most men will retreat when she asks the first question. Men want no part of describing the whys and details of their sexual performance especially before the fact. They intuitively recognize her trap and so will shut up.

Players, however, may have a bs line they can fabricate from words and phrases that worked for them in the past. If they answer as if they know what they’re talking about, then they’re players. They’re the worst guys to disclose her history, so she’ll have to get more bold until she shuts him up.

Should the rare guy talk about these things, she has plenty of opportunity to teach him how she expects such things in her life.

14 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized, virginity