1189. Boot Camp for Girls—Day 26: Graduation

Girls have an instinctive ability to handle boys. However, many lack enough talent and skills to win consistently. New knowledge improves talent and broadens skills. So, squeeze this baker’s dozen of truisms into your thinking of the future.   

1. HardToGet keeps a girl in the driver’s seat. Non-passionate relations make the best bus tires for rolling over the hottest boys.
2. Self-respect counts most in a girl’s character. Without it, self-confidence plummets. Earning self-confidence builds self-respect. So, she gets what she earns as she pursues her hopes and dreams.  
3. A girl’s happy future with a happy mate depends more on his integrity than anything else. Integrity strengthens mutual respect, commitment to marriage, devotion to her, and his vow-keeping.
4. A busted courtship shouldn’t be such a big deal. Multiple courtships pay off. Her man’s character depends on her making enough wrong judgments to learn how to choose the best man for her.
5. Ladylike behavior, high modesty standards, and moral expectations stir men to be gentlemanly in a woman’s presence. It also works for girls.  
6. A boy takes interest in a girl for two prime reasons. Fixation on sex energizes him temporarily. Desire for her admiration focuses him on long-term possibilities. If she enables the former, she can forget the latter.
7. Self-respect fades when you give what you oughtn’t, do what you shouldn’t, or suffer what you needn’t.
8. Do what’s right, avoid what’s wrong, but more importantly, always do what you should.
9. Kissing does matter. Sensuous suggests the rightness of you for him. Passionate suggests the rightness of him for sex.
10. Guilt guides your life, so start now affirming your intention and ability to do what you should. Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself and don’t look back. Old guilt leads to depression when loaded with doubt about how you previously handled it.  
11. A boy respects what he can’t conquer. He respects chastity in general and especially a girl’s abstinence with him. A man’s love rests on a firm foundation of respect for a woman. Boys want sex, and so he keeps trying. Where else can she get enough respect, unless she keeps denying sex but not disrespecting his trying?
12. Feminine beats plain femaleness. Mystery beats full disclosure. Modesty beats masculine morality. Monogamy beats sexual freedom. All of it makes males back off from their naturally dominant personas, which helps fulfill female hopes and dreams.   
13. If you can train boys to follow your conscience, you’re well on the way to excellent relationship expertise.

Congratulations to everyone that completed boot camp. Only you know who you are but reward yourself some way. I’m proud of you.

Regular WWNH broadcasting resumes tomorrow.

775. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 4

MORE DETAILS

This continues the part of yesterday’s article where I said: “Historical facts suggest women will be eternally blessed and made hopeful by male-dominated, wealth-building society. The question then pops up: How do women capitalize on what they face? How do they balance their interests with those of men? Before Feminism came along, our foremothers intuitively knew how. The answer squirts out in this misty spray: Women depend on, use, and exploit men in society and around the house. (Details tomorrow)” The details now follow.

Women depend on, use, and exploit men in many ways. But it’s best done gradually and unnoticeably. Before anyone says I’m endorsing manipulation, think again for I’m not. All that follows is motivated naturally by these primal urges: her drive to nest, nurture, and nestle; her need for a brighter future; her wants for a man’s help in fulfilling her hopes and dreams, her fear of abandonment, and her time focus on the future more than the present.

The following is not a How To. It’s intended to be educational. So, it requires study to deepen one’s understanding of the female nature when balancing self-interest with that of a man:

·        She stakes out ownership of the feminine domain and competes to preserve it. She clearly and ungrudgingly yields ownership of the masculine, and cooperates to help men or husband to do better.

·        She competes strongly with men to preserve her chastity or marital fidelity. She cooperates strongly with husband to preserve their relationship. She assumes responsibility for ‘maintaining’ any relationship.

·        She has a natural urge to take charge of almost everything concerning her family. She knows when she shouldn’t especially in areas that husband considers his responsibility or domain.

·        Without offending husband, she learns to control enough of life’s events to pursue her hopes and dreams for her family. She wins enough independence by depending on him.

·        She knows men don’t like to ask females for help, and so she anticipates and meets husband’s needs without his asking. It’s not reciprocal, however, because he isn’t as sensitive to her feelings.

I found the list too big for one day. It will finish tomorrow.

540. Unmarried women shape society: Part 1

Before the sexual revolution, married women shaped society by dominating the culture. After the 1960s unmarried females enabled men to dominate the culture, and now the society works against females. She always has choices, however….

©     Her Nature: She shapes their relationship to meet her expectations for fulfilling her hopes and dreams. Dating for other reasons wastes her time and his money. Is this current practice?

©     His Nature: Dates using her money benefit him financially but weaken his emotional ties to her. If she’ll pay, she’ll play—his game, that is. Using his money adds value to her as person instead of sex object. Spending on her invests himself in her and her interests, as long as he doesn’t see it as cover charge for sex. This final point uplifts virtual virginity to best strategy and hardtoget as best tactic. Is this approach popular?

©     Money: Wasting his money harms her reputation, but using hers weakens their relationship. Acknowledged by females?

©     Look Alike: If she won’t yield sex, they shouldn’t spend her money. Her money works best when she handles it under the same principles as her chastity—as reward for giving up his independence in marriage rather than as bribe to stick around or settle down prematurely. Do women nowadays see it this way?

©     Booty: Dateless sex makes her valuable for booty call but under his terms. Something may develop beyond conquest, but what stirs his interest about her beyond sex? Her money?

520. Exes with Benefits? — III

After a breakup, if she wants him back, she lets him work on his own mind and heart. Chastity triggers it like nothing else can. Some additional thoughts:

·        What should be free no longer is. It drives little boys crazy. Men can be little boys grown tall.

·        He has trouble believing that she’s not a pushover. So, he makes mistakes that offend her. He hasn’t changed. His mistakes strengthen her resolve. No benefits unless he marries her will eventually sink in.

·        Her resolution strengthens her. Ever mindful of how to hit her hot buttons, he fails, and she earns new respect that grows to admiration after a while.

·        Newfound admiration reminds of former times and tends to rekindles his residual love.

·        Denied sex, ego motivates him to prove his charm and worth and win her once again. She can then decide on the merits of his earnestness and his newly developed worthiness.

·        If chastity pushes him away and he shows no interest, he demonstrates unwillingness to accept her standards and expectations. She wins, because he refuses to be different from whatever he was before breakup; she dodged another mistake with him.

·        She also wins if chastity keeps him returning to associate with her. He slips back into his natural hunter-conqueror role. This means that he once again tries to woo and win her. Perhaps only for sex, but that’s always the starter.

·        Greater respect for her and admiration for her chasteness will haunt him to conquer again. Not that he’ll come back to her, but the failure will haunt him. He can’t grasp that he can’t go where he’s been so many times before.

·        The longer she remains chaste with him, the greater his interest in teaming back up with her. Time works for her, because chastity inspires his curiosity, which fires up his imagination to conquer, which fires up his ego to try over and over until he’s victorious. (The past still haunts: From the instant they met, it was a mind game for dominance of her sexual assets.)

Let me close with this reminder. Einstein claimed “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” She has tremendous power to stir a man’s curiosity with other than sex. His imagination can’t leave her mystery alone, if he can’t conquer or re-conquer her.

So much for exes. This series ends here—at least for now.

516. Exes with Benefits? — II

The lead article in this series introduced the subject of sex after breakup and how to reconcile successfully, should she ever desire it.

Chastity with an ex makes her the driver and him the passenger. It reenergizes his natural drive to conquer and squeezes it beneath her commitment to serve herself with abstinence.

Under such pressures, his renewed respect can redound to new love. But whether it does or not and regardless of final outcome, she wins and he loses.

If she might want him back, or just wants to test to see if he’s worthy, she works on herself in such a way that he works on himself:

©     She commits and accepts him only for a platonic friendship and courtship. This silhouettes her chastity and honors her self-respect, both of which men respect.

©     She finds moral reasons to remain chaste and reinforces such reasons continually to herself.

©     She stamps out any lingering bitterness in herself and finds ways to kill any bitterness he may have.

©     She forgives his past offenses, and it includes forgetting them.

©     She knows that to explain herself shifts the advantage back to him. She doesn’t complain and doesn’t explain about withholding sex. It’s just the way she is NOW. One exception: next.

©     When pushed, she acknowledges that she’s saving herself for first or next husband, whoever it may be. No hurry. Ex may qualify, but who knows at this time. That’s all ex should know, because that’s all she should be committed to.

©     If ex wants to qualify as husband, let him try. Fewer words by her convince more easily, because rejection speaks so loudly.

©     Her chasteness becomes believable and valuable when he concludes that other men also run into her new commitment to abstinence.

©     Unless incompatibilities intrude such as bitterness, saving herself for another man eats at him. This induces change in men worth their salt.

 Never foolproof, but chastity works better than anything else to change the male mind.

509. The ABCs Revisited

A matriarchy has never arisen in more than seven millennia, but feminists keep trying. There’s gold in patriarchy for women who commit to mining it.

Background. Our foremothers before the Sixties made patriarchal men recognize and implement greater friendliness with female values, which also enabled children to play outside without fear of predators. The sexual revolution brought something different: Masculine disrespect of females and god-awful endangerments to children.

Hope. God and Nature energize men and women to compete to shape home and society. Male friendly customs regarding sex produce unfriendly values and conditions for women and children. Female friendly values regarding life require female dominance of sexual matters.

Females make male dominance tolerable by neutralizing the male’s conquering spirit and discouraging or suppressing his unmarried sex drive. For example, men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require marriage, men marry. If married women are faithful and unmarried women are chaste, men stay married, and monogamy popularizes itself. Such conditions make trophies pretty things instead of play things.

When females exploit their uniqueness, it enables wives to dominate home and culture* and husbands to dominate workplace, and society*—a reasonable and fair balance that quiets more than offends men. (Unmarrieds of both sexes are much less effective at promoting female friendly values; their interests for doing so are weak.)

Values made and shaped in the home spread, interact, and coalesce into culture. Husbands follow cultural values to govern the workplace and shape society. Wives staff the back offices that ever so subtly govern how husbands do business in the front office.

Females determine how males respond to female uniqueness. Mothers and grandmothers plant and nurture values within young boys, girls tame pubescent boys, and women domesticate grown boys aka boyfriends, lovers, live ins, husbands, exes, wannabes, and discards. If women do well, male dominance weakens and patriarchy fades. (If women don’t conspire, they should. It’s how radical feminists tore down the greatest social structure in the world.)  

The power base created by dominating home and culture enables wives to condition the male mind and shape male behavior to honor and promote family, female, and child interests. Men and especially husbands take opposite-sex interests to work, shape society accordingly, and figure out how they can still exercise their dominance in a less patriarchal society. Our expert foremothers made our pragmatic forefathers look good yielding much of their dominant spirit.

Women come first in the ABCs, next.  

* Society is what people do. Culture is why they do it.

470. He’s Wary to Marry — Section 1

Some women drop virginity and chastity on the premise that females have the same sexual rights as males. Other women believe that having the right does not make it right.

Some women tear down masculinity to get what women want. Other women uplift manliness to get what women want.

Some women teach young girls about sex without love, abandon them to experiment, and ignore their maturation. Other women teach young girls to mature first, love next, and leave sex to marriage.

Some women discourage manly devotion by providing cheap, uncommitted sex. Other women inspire manly devotion by delaying a man’s conquest until he wants her for much more than sex.

Some women popularize the feminist ideal, which makes men retreat from committing with one woman for much more than shack up. Other women persuade a man to commit for marry up by refusing to shack up.

Some women reject the concept or refuse on principle to fill the biblical role of wife submitting to husband. Other women realize that ‘submissiveness’ is more attitude than principle, more respect than honor, more cooperation than obedience, and that high power exists in softness.

Some women use casual sex to attract men, which fails to earn a man’s devotion or obligate him for much more than sex. Other women push hard for No Sex without Marriage, which creates time to deepen his interest, respect, and devotion for one woman.

Some women make themselves worthy of a man just to have one. Other women insist a man make himself worthy of her before marriage, and then she makes herself worthy of him after they marry.

Some women seek words of commitment before yielding. Other women seek a man’s devoted actions before allowing his conquest.

Some women convince themselves that the right combination of passion, love, religious beliefs, common interests, and kids will keep their relationship together. Other women know there’s no such insurance and that special stroking of her man as king to her queen is essential.

449. VIRTUE— Magnet for Males —SECTION III

Virtue is learned best before puberty and when taught by parents and authority figures such as teachers. Learned after puberty or taught by peers, behaviors are predominately adolescent. Few appear virtuous to mature men. 

What’s the difference? In today’s social marketplace, popularity and wishful thinking overrule experience and wisdom learned the hard way. Boys do, but men don’t find attractiveness in either female popularity or wishful thinking.   

Teen peers lack the maturity to match parental teaching and transfer of values, especially those regarding virtue.

Mature parents combine experience, wisdom, and personal concern. They promote cultural standards based on moral and religious values that generate respectable and admirable behavior among girls; boys follow and learn to be men accordingly. You can see it in action, as I recap some results it produced a half-century ago.

♥ Females didn’t have to fear vulgarity and disrespectful treatment, because males anticipated a female’s sensibilities and honored her expectations.

♥ Violence against females was rare.

♥ Violence of all kinds was much less common, because parents and especially females tamed, civilized, and domesticated males much better than today.

♥ Girls providing fellatio in school buses and elsewhere was never thought about, much less done and even copied to become popular.  

♥ Mothers directly taught and fathers indirectly coached daughters about boys. Brothers revenged harm to sister’s reputation.

♥ Sexual predators were not unknown, but their numbers were extremely small and audacity weak.

♥ Girls were too easily embarrassed to talk about sex with boys. They explored the subject in the dark, as they were felt over by a boy’s hands. Modesty caused embarrassment in the light, and her virtuous character slowed or stopped his hands in the dark. Or she yielded, self-respect plummeted, virtue took a hit, and his respect and admiration wavered.   

♥ Teen pregnancy was shameful and special care was given usually out of town, if the father didn’t marry her. Shame held down the incidence. (I knew of only one teen girl that reputedly had given birth, and I grew up in a mid-size city with four junior high and two big high schools. I got around to half of them socially during my school years: dances, dates, visits, hanging out.)

♥ Female modesty and feminine unknowns taught boys to respect girls in general. Chastity taught boys to respect each girl in particular. Silent admiration flowed easily out of respect, whether she was liked or not.

♥ Pre-pubescent girls knew nothing about sex and were embarrassed by thoughts of it. Boys of that age were ‘educated’ earlier, if they had bigger brothers. But disinterest usually prevailed until puberty set in. (Plenty of challenges other than sexual interests exist for boys and girls in the tweens.)

♥ Children aspired to become mature adults, not adolescent idols. Few grew up and retained the immature mindset of adolescence, because parents set examples to be admired and respected. Kids sought to duplicate parents.

You can imagine that parents used to have it much easier raising kids than do parents today.

The next post describes how moms and grannies exploited virtue.