748. Favored Quotes — Collection 6

• Doing “too much” can backfire on you… men are soooo different from us. Even with your very best intentions, doing too much for a man can come across as doting, mothering and babying. Not good. (LB at 718)
• I am always seeking validation and/or approval…. I guess, in his mind, marrying me and staying with me are his way of validating me. (Robin at 718)
• Dressing in pants does change a woman’s behavior, demeanor, heart, and society to the detriment of all. … Ladies throw away your jeans, pants, flip flops, baseball caps, shorts, back packs, t shirts and don something Grace Kelly or Princess Di would wear. Truly, you will be amazed at the compliments you will receive from both men and women and your true friends will admire you for it. (Lady Carmen at 741)
• Raise your children to be respectful and mannerly especially to their father. … Teaching your children to respect their dad builds confidence and security in them and in their parent’s marriage. (Jill at 742)
• I adore my role as ‘housewife’. (LindaL at 746)
• The more feminine I am around him, the more cherishing he becomes. (Ladylike at 746)

442. Trust but verify

Advice for lovelorn females: Women get confused, desperate, and make poor choices. She should take time to trust a man but verify his actions. The learning process will unclog her mind and heart, especially if she starts to learn early in adolescence.

Unless she ignores it, as the unfortunate do, each woman’s love is built on a foundation of her self-love and hopes and dreams for a bright future with a man. She has three options to work toward: To be cherished, get his commitment, or generate his devotion. The former goes too far, the second disfavors her, and the latter option improves odds for marital success.

Cherished, the kind that princess daughters enjoy from their fathers, goes too far. Nevertheless, some women seek to duplicate father’s presence, or they missed the father-princess phase of life.

If she finds such a man, disappointment sets in. She can’t always get her way. He’s not as much like real or imagined father as she hoped, so she judges him continually on a father-standard. Her ingratitude and disrespect follow, because he never measures up to what he can’t read—her imagination.

Commitment is short term, present oriented, full of loopholes, and favors men over women. Couples stir their infatuation, lust, and romantic love with words that herald commitment to each other. It works well until domestic life intervenes and romantic love fades in a year or two.

More than words are needed to seal their future together. So, the wise woman searches for confirming actions that signal his devotion. A man’s feelings and intentions are expressed more in actions that mislead her than words that please her. Long courtships thus enable her to discriminate and evaluate his worth to her.

Devotion can be seen in actions that outshine a man’s words. He acts out rather than expresses his feelings, fulfills his promises, and spends what time he can with her for the sake of nothing else. He looks to her for confirmation, comfort, and companionship. He works harder outside the home to fulfill his manly role of provider and protector. His devotion shines from what he does for her, even though his affectionate words will be more scarce than she likes.

Summary. Being cherished as by father can’t be duplicated by a man worth keeping. Commitment too strongly favors a man over her. Practical living confirms devotion as essential to the females’ preferred domestic life.

349. Virtual Virginity #18

☼  Women want to be cherished, but it starts with chastity in girlhood. Not that chastity is required, virtual virginity can rescue her. The lessons a girl learns refusing boys teaches her how to become a treasure for men—the first step to cherishment by one. It’s not what she is so much, as that one man perceives her to be exceptional. 

☼  To fulfill her hopes and dreams with a man, she must choose one with the character and drive to meet her needs. Good choice comes from screening and tossing out the unqualified many times instead of linking up with the first man that shows interest.

☼  It requires time and experience dealing with men, but women learn quickly. They easily discern words that prove empty, actions that prove self-serving, promises not kept, actions that don’t match words of commitment, and words empty of actions that signify devotion. Women make poor choices when they want a man more than they want to live with sound judgments about these matters.

Seventeen other posts about Virtual Virginity appear in CONTENT page in the blog header.

 

281. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’m! — Post 4 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♂ Tell any man what he’s doing wrong in the sex department and expect unintended consequences.

♂ A man readily assumes that each woman appreciates his sexual performance, or something is wrong with her.

♂ He’s never eager to admit fault about his sexual prowess. Nor should he be excused, but she ventures onto rocky terrain when she brings it up.

♂ Commitment to a relationship does not mean she’s cherished. Neither does commitment energize a man the same way or extent that devotion does. 

♂ He takes her criticism as personal affront. Either he did it wrong, or he should have figured her out better.

♂ If he disappoints, she’s confused. If she explains, he takes it personally. If she goes too far or too fast, he thinks she’s too experienced.

♂ Men can be changed. They dig in their heels, however, when not done with the respect they expect and the indirectness that they can more easily honor.

♂ Men may be insensitive clods to women. But they consider their manly sexual expertise and boudoir manner to be exceptional if not extraordinary.

♂ The female mystery that men perceive varies greatly from one woman to another. So, where does he start but to feel his way along? (No pun intended.)   

♂ Virtual virginity works better than bed-testing before marriage. It conditions his thinking that she’s highly sensitive about what she expects of him. (See post 273 et al about virtual virginity.)

♂ Women make unmarried sex so easy that men don’t have to pay attention to her needs, drives, and desires. But doubts arise about her history and worth for marriage, if she’s too easily conquered.

It’s easy to talk about men being more considerate of a woman’s sexual wants, needs, and desires. As we have seen, however, men often interfere.

[More on this subject appears in posts 276, 271, and 266 and ends at future post 286.]