342. Ties that bind, or not! — Their needs

Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do, but it also conflicts with what a spouse expects.

 

She needs a brighter future for her family. Mature women exploit their relationship expertise. They work for stable security and promote family development, closeness, and harmony. Immature women seek materialistic brighteners—more money, continuous shopping, unaffordable housing.

 

Those things are not that important to men. Their male nature focuses more on the present than the future. Wife expects husband to respond favorably to her wishes about their future. However, it takes skill so as not to interfere with his near-term thinking, interests, and plans.

 

Mature wives focus and coach husband on building and sustaining their marriage. Immature wives pressure husband for greater effort, for more and better of whatever he does. (When he never measures up, it sends loud messages that he’s inadequate and may even be insignificant.)

 

His needs are far simpler than hers. He only needs a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’.

 

Such a place is easy to come by elsewhere. Consequently, in marriage he expects fun and comfort to compensate for loss of independence.

 

It’s her home to build and dominate. When she does it well, it’s a castle to him.

 

Tradeoffs leads to cooperation—good! Disrespect for their opposing natures leads to competition—ungood!

292. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 17

♀?♂  The easier a man’s conquest, the less valuable to him is the conquered.

♀?♂  Sex is an emotional commodity that works like an economic one. The greater the supply, the lower the cost men pay in emotional involvement, time, effort, and courtship expense. Men obligate themselves more deeply when sex is not cheap.

♀?♂  The conqueror thinks more about ‘me’ than ‘you and me’. Denial of conquest first shifts a man’s focus seriously toward ‘us’.

♀?♂  Functionality and comfort dictate what men wear and look like except as female influence and expectations dictate otherwise.

♀?♂  Pressures of Feminism force men to change their behavior, but it does not change their nature. Men resent, resist, and retaliate one way or another. Individual women reap the consequences.

♀?♂  The hotter the man, the more victims he leaves in his trail.

♀?♂  The more a woman rejects the hunk, the harder he tries to win her. When he convinces her that he’s as special as he thinks—that is, she goes along to get along—she primes herself to be dumped.  

♀?♂  Women are the relationship experts relative to men. To men changing partners is far simpler, easier, and more inviting than so-called relationship maintenance.

♀?♂  Couples succeed primarily through her efforts, or she chose the wrong man.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 274, 249, 232, 217, 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

253. Boob language — Part 11

Females duplicate men in manner, language, style, attire, and grooming. Ignorant of masculine priorities, they expect to captivate manly interest for more than sex.  

·        Women duplicate men in no-style dress and thoughtless grooming. Beer with the guys attracts them better.

·        Pregnant women copy tee-shirted beer bellies. If he can do it, she can too. The world gets uglier, as women think they gain through defiance.   

·        As women dress down in everyday life, men outdo them to confirm masculine independence. So, men dress worse, and women follow suit.

·        Loose and shapeless bras provide comfort, but unadvertised assets generate little curiosity. If she has no incentive to show herself off to the max, then he figures his max will not be required. So, she starts off in the hole.  

·        Women dress erotically to capture a man. They attract attention and may be taken off the shelf and even taken home. But eroticism promotes sex, not loyalty for the whole product.

·        A keeper advertises and packages herself to keep sex in the background, because that keeps male minds focused on her star quality.

·        Cleavage draws his eyeballs downward and his thoughts to nestling there. Good advertising works! Does the rest of her appearance sell her as quality stuff or just promote unintended consequences?

Modern females make sloppy, careless, and slovenly fashionable. They slouch a lot. They do this although men feast with their eyes, and husbands expect a wife they can show off.

[More boob language appears at posts 235, 220, 205, 188, 102, 98, 81, 52, 49, and 12. Search by the number followed by dot and space.]

114. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 4

A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.

A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes, if he has to work hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling.

A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can get a permanent arrangement. Others cannot, except for temporary comfort and functionality.

A man’s not really interested in her, if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her.

A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential to a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one.

A woman that uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Love and affection are not enough though.

A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s more temp than keeper.

After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or he moves on.  

After conquest the infatuated but not fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, live in, or wife if necessary.

Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. Her value goes up with his difficulty achieving his goal. How he handles her obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her.  

[More about knowing jack about Jack appears in posts 97, 91, and 7 below. Just enter the number in the Search box above.] 

108. Chaste courtship works—Part 3

NOTE: Thanks to Suzanne for triggering this post. She put a big smile on my face, and I love it when pretty women do that. AGM

Relationships start with attraction, infatuation, and lust; fold into passion and love; and level off as enduring mutual love. Or, so women hope.

The rules for success are many, but wrongs trump rules, Nature trumps Love, and men trump women that don’t know how to make men successful at husbanding and fathering.

For successful living with a man, women as the relationship expert need to overcome the innumerable devils in the details. For example:

• Men don’t take orders from women. It weakens his sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly.
• Women must qualify their man for marriage; condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations; and expect never to change him after their first sex together.
• Man of the House, Head of the House, Home CEO, or whatever you call it, women indirectly govern the home unless she sided with the wrong man. It takes a long courtship to decide correctly.
• It’s her nest to build into a castle. But then, he expects comfort and convenience over her perfectionism, functionality over her style and fashion, and at least the appearance if not the actuality of him as boss. 
• Men respond to women eventually, but not immediately, directly, or openly. They need time and latitude to make his meeting her expectations look like something else—even his idea. Men can afford to be impatient, but their woman cannot. Patience is an immensely great female virtue for marriage.
• Men treat women as females teach them, mostly earlier in life. Mothers sometimes fail, girls stupidly don’t condition boys to respect females, and single women provide sex before they earn a man’s respect by not providing it. Hence, some men mistreat women.

People don’t mistreat those they respect. That’s why a long courtship helps qualify a man as having had a good upbringing and as having developed potential for treating her well.

[More about courtships appear at the following posts. Enter the highlighted number in the Search box above.]

Chaste courtship works—Part 2	107
Chaste courtship works—Part 1	100
Right Man: need or kneed?—second unit	90
The Great Female Giveaway	82
Right Man: need or kneed?—first unit	77
Escaping loneliness	42
Commitment you hear, devotion you see	13
Affection—both have A.D.D.	3

97. Do women know jack about Jack?—Part 3

♂ Men adapt, obligate, and learn to devote themselves to a woman that refuses to yield sexually. Her hard-headed and unyielding behavior keeps his attention focused on her. If he refuses to grow that way to meet her expectations for her man, then he’s not really into her as potential mate.

♂  Just as sex does, fashionable attire, charming words, and fun activity help capture a man. But her other-than-sexual attributes hold him beyond the fading of romantic love.

♂ A major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon his woman’s faithfulness—and especially his not having to face men who have had her or even know of someone who has.

♂ A man discovers a woman’s non-sexual attributes while searching for weaknesses in order to conquer her. After conquest his search intensity fades away, and her remaining qualities become less dramatically uncovered.

♂ A man does not need refreshment and comfort with a friendly, attractive, and encouraging mate, but he never stops looking if he lacks it.

♂ A man’s conquering nature is not quieted down by either her giving love or providing sex—only by one woman’s non-sexual attributes that magnetize his devotion to her and their family.

♂ A man’s devotion to wife and marriage are not the same. The former is based on his heart, his feelings for her. The latter is based on his mind, values, principles, vows, and his word—to the extent that he honors such things.

♂ A man’s ego reflects his sense of significance and vice versa.

♂ A man’s fruitless pursuit of sex with a woman enables his commitment to evolve into devotion for her. In the process of trying harder, he learns to respect her more and see her as different from the others.

♂ A man’s loyalty to wife and family is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in the home.

[More jack about Jack appears at posts 91 and 7.]

75. Dear Daughter—fourth letter

♀ When women act like men, men treat them as other guys—as competitors and eligible for physical handling.  

♀ Courtship provides opportunity for a woman to be hard-headedly female against a man’s hard-headed persistence to have things the masculine way. Her opportunities fade after marriage, but soft-heartedness is her key to soften his dominance then.

♀ Wife seeks to change her husband, but he resists, resents, and eventually retaliates if she keeps it up. Without exceptional respect for his woman, a man’s enduring love never arises to replace the temporary romantic love that fades in a year or two.

♀ Women flourish with a man’s enduring love, but it arises only from his respect for women generally and her particularly. The roots extend back to their pre-conquest days.

♀ Girls should know better than to share certain information about female uniqueness with boys. Female mystery is too powerful to toss to the immature, since it can also hold sway over mature men.

♀ When she makes herself worthy of a man by providing sex readily, it doesn’t matter much if she’s pretty and attractive. Sloppy or comfortable may work for her, but it adds not to his reputation for having a good looker. This diminishes her worth as keeper.

♀ A woman that parents her man slowly crushes his sense of significance. It highlights his immaturity, and this shifts his mentality back toward adolescence. His ego seeks solace, so he cheats emotionally or physically.

♂ The rooster can’t crow boastfully, when he has to play second fiddle in the hen house.

♂ Men and women are so different hormonally and psychologically that couples succeed because of sex differences more than sameness.