I’m frustrated. I can’t get the subject organized and written as I would like. So, I start at the back-end and will let your questions bring out the reasoning and details for a front end.
Women have to earn happiness, and it’s a three-step process. First, they find gratitude within themselves for who and what they are. Second, they find gratitude for other people and things in their lives. Third, they continually reinforce self-gratitude for two reasons. 1) It tends to easily weaken by comparisons to other people. 2) You can find gratefulness outside of yourself only to the extent that self-gratitude floods you own persona. The more grateful for self, the more gratitude you can find and appreciate until you realize that you’re happy.
After more than six years and a million words written, I’ve concluded lack of self-gratitude is the severest and self-induced shortcoming among females. It causes less control of self, which leads them into misery in the multiplex of singleness, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, despair, divorce, depression, and gloom and doom. They pay too little attention to keeping their self-gratitude sufficiently inflated and pay too high a price at the box office of society.
So, I have compiled a list of things that should make women grateful when they adopt and embody them as values, standards, and self-expectations. The list is a start. I will maintain it by editing as readers convince me I should. I will also add new things at the top so readers can immediately see that new ones have been added.
You need to make a believer of yourself about each item that can be fitted into your personality, belief system, and roles in life. Remember this as you study each item. You can’t be grateful for yourself until you show yourself that you’re worthy by living up to your own standards and expectations. You have to live up to yourself in order to generate the self-worth that steadies and readies you to associate gratefully with others.
I suggest that you adopt, review, and rehearse daily until you believe some or all of the factors listed below. Consider your whole life in light of each. Where and how does each fit into your life? How does the absence of such beliefs make your life less worthy or successful? How does or can the presence of each improve your life? Make as many as possible a part of your convictions and beliefs. Start here by visualizing yourself.
I am grateful for myself because I:
- [Next new one goes here]
- [Have] the strength to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of those I have been giving the gift of caring for. [MLaRowe]
- As a nurse can help others. [from Nancy]
- Have a nice, more attractive body hiding inside me that I can bring into the light of my world. I’m especially grateful that I finally began to restore it.
- Can convert the worth I see in others into value for my life and vice versa.
- Depend on my man by doing for him rather than him doing for me.
- Am capable more of giving that taking and am grateful for each opportunity to prove myself to myself.
- Am capable of finding new ways every day by which to show to my man how he is respected for who he is and what he does.
- Am vital to the people in my life and grateful that I can read the signs of it.
- Can seek God’s forgiveness to relieve my self-blame and guilt.
- Am worth any man but only a few are worthy of me. I have all the qualities I need to make one earn me and I work daily to make those qualities become virtues in the eyes of the best men.
- Refuse to accept offenses to my feminine sensibilities by spotlighting my objection with word or departure. No more F- or C- words or similar filth in my presence, and that’s just for starters.
- Grieve at the loss of a loved one with this firm conviction lodged in my heart. They would not have wanted me to miss a single good day of life if they thought they were the cause.
- Have learned that commitment is of the mind and mouth and devotion speaks of the heart through actions.
- Recognize my man is short of providing all the affection that I would like to have. But he provides enough and I’m just glad our roles aren’t reversed such I would be the one accused of giving too little.
- Recognize that my man’s handiness is the birthright equivalent of my prettiness. Pleasing each other comes easily in those domains.
- Have my personality and roles wrapped up in the urge to be important to me and others. My free will enables me to make the best choices that maximize the benefits to all concerned.
- Enjoy promoting my man’s sexual performance and ignoring whatever shortcomings I may detect. It’s such a vital part of his sense of significance that I am unable to let my attitude be construed as a threat.
- Get endless enjoyment from nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones.
- Want a man of my own, but who is unchangeable except before conquest and after many years of age when more maturity and less testosterone morph him into Mr. Right.
- Use to our advantage how my man focuses primarily on the present and I focus primarily on the future.
- Promote my man’s producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving as the primary foundation for the strengthening and preservation of our family.
- Can assuage my fear of abandonment by promoting and helping my man promote his sense of significance.
- Am the primary determinant for brightening my future within our future together. It all depends on the choices I make, man I choose, and relationship we develop with my relationship expertise.
- Appreciate myself more when I depend on my modest nature to guide me.
- Can touch up my appearance in numerous ways and places and endlessly please myself with how truly pretty I am.
- Feel better about myself when I dress and act more feminine and less like men.
- Am honest in all affairs of the heart. I can handle the disappointments it may cause, because I’m overly grateful when Mr. Not Goodenough departs.
- Have so many blessings to count. Let me see now, which are the best at this moment in my life?
- Think enough of myself that I can help bear the burdens of someone else.
- Forget after I forgive. Forgiveness is the true expression of ultimate power, and true forgiveness causes the giver to forget.
- Appreciate and use my instinct and intuition that prompts me to be kind and tender hearted. I acknowledge two things. 1) We women are born to be good, and our kind and tender heartedness enables us to do good. 2) Men are born capable of doing good and become as good as we women teach them to do good.
- Am able to comfort those less endowed or fortunate than I.
- Can visualize peace and harmony in my home and know that I must determine what it is without demanding it, exemplify it without criticizing in hopes of getting it, and blend the contradictions as if nobody is wrong.
- Appreciate never having to prolong the agonies that self-forgiveness can relieve. The best gift from God or use of my will power comes when I forgive myself.
- Know how to find and screen Mr. Good Enough and that he will be blessed to have me behind and helping lead him to all his victories.
- Don’t need my man’s faults to fade away soon after we marry. I’m patient enough to watch him morph from Mr. Good Enough into Mr. Right over the span of a couple of marital decades.
- Resolve my own problems. That’s where I’m most independent and so considerate that I accept blame rather than impose it on others. My self-worth soars with each instance of sacrificing myself to lift blame from others.
- Can reward myself at the mirror in numerous ways such that I don’t crave overly much recognition when away from it.
- Can eagerly honor this rank structure in our family: husband, wife, mother, father, and children.
- Love my ‘new self’ at breakfast after mirror talk and enjoy the calm atmosphere that I bring to launching family into their respective days.
- Unconditionally respect people and loved ones. It’s an awesome power that I can trust people who I know until evidence and good reason reveal that I shouldn’t.
- Am proud to accept the principle of submission to husband while reserving the free will to take exception when appropriate.
- Reap great pleasure spreading my self-identified joy wherever I go but especially in my own home.
- Find gratefulness in all that I and my loved ones do.
How grateful do you now feel about yourself? More or less than when you started the list? Regardless, you should be energized to study further and consider options you had trouble accepting on your first viewing. The more self-gratitude you purposely generate by accepting individual factors, the sooner the misery multiplex will fade in importance and happiness will find you sooner.