653. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 6

• Intimacy is vitally important to her and less so to men. But which is more important: depth or breadth, quality or quantity, intensity or frequency? Lengthy courtship enables her to find out about herself and ‘train’ him to match her expectations. 
• Home should be his castle, but not unless she generates the harmony. For example, except when in use, she requires the commode LID to be down. Last user is responsible. (Can’t tell you why it works this way, but he’ll more easily accept her homey home-keeping standard for closed commode than her expectation that he always lower the seat. He’ll do for his castle, what he won’t do for her. You say shameful or selfish, I say Nature.)
• Sex bonds women, but mutual respect bonds people and genders.
• Self-esteem means how well you like yourself as a person. Self-love describes it better for females provided it also includes especially liking their selves as female.
• Women have to put up with many unwelcome hits to draw a few routine compliments from men. Improving their appearance with feminine mystery and modesty improves the ratio in favor of compliments.

572. The Male Glance — Part II

Part I (570) describes men observing females. This flip side describes female preparing to be observed.

Females focus continually on how they appear. The female nature craves manly attention. She takes it as routine confirmation of her value to Self and to those she loves. Compliments work very well, but even flattery beats nothing. Known males are usually best, but strangers can be appreciated for attentions and what they say and do for her—if nice of course.

If father, husband, or boyfriend does not provide a sufficiency of attention, she yearns for more. Virtually any man can provide it, which is better than none, but good looking and eligible guys are much, much, much, much better—even if she’s committed to another.

Compliments confirm and reinforce value of herself to herself. Whatever her preparations and grooming for the occasion, she did well. Pride suffuses her spirit, and her prettiness and attractiveness are reinforced in both mind and appearance. She’s doing the right things with herself.    

Denied the attentions she thinks she deserves, especially as a girl, disappointment sets in. Over time she becomes careless, desperate to get her own man, or disgusted with Self, men, or both. Greater absence of attention follows, and her self-image becomes so devastated that she rationalizes sloppy or manly appearance as her choice. Depression follows easily.

PS. Incidentally, women complain about hits from workers on construction sites. Women shouldn’t; they are not the sex object they presume. Men show off to buddies and outshine competitors with boasts and outrageous displays of bravado. She’s the vehicle they use and not the target, unless she acts suggestive or responds provocatively.

500. Boob Language — Part 19

NOTE: This post was reissued as #1533.

333. What daughters never hear — Section 09

The female nature provides women with extraordinary skills for eliminating confusion interacting with men. But, women don’t trust their nature anymore, so they look for admin, legal, or political assistance.

♂♥♀ Some women follow their nature and dress up fishing for compliments. Other women dress down, abandon their female nature, and miss compliments that could uplift their feelings.

♂♥♀ Men see a female as more lovely when she is happy, merry, cheerful, full of life. Her glass half-empty shrinks it.

♂♥♀ Men flirt to good naturedly but cautiously intrude and avoid or delay outright rejection.  

♂♥♀ Men tease to make a woman smile, which makes them prettier, more feminine, more appealing. It’s affection in the form of attention.

♂♥♀ Women can’t tell the difference between being hit on and just teasing. They automatically think the worst of uninvited initiatives.

♂♥♀ Married men compliment her. She takes offense, because she concludes he’s flirting and married men should not do that.

♂♥♀ Married men flirt. She calls it harassment, because men are no darn good.

Brooding about men after the condemnations of Feminism, women either can’t read, or they misinterpret masculine intentions. The unintended consequence: Women want more attention than they are getting from the opposite gender, and need more affection than they get from their man.

[Eight other posts about this title are listed in the Content page at the top.]

315. The good, the bad, and the ugly — MORE OF THE GOOD

♀ Think and act as if your man is valuable, and your gratefulness will make him better and you happier.

♀ Think and act dignified, and you’ll earn respect.

♀ Think and act feminine, and you’ll attract a husband.

♀ Think and act like a good Christian, and you’ll develop a servant’s heart and vice versa.

♀ Think and act like a lady, and you’ll be treated as one—although you may have to teach others how to do it.

♀ Think and act like a virgin, and you’ll lead men to make themselves worthy of you.

♀ Think and act morally exemplary, and you’ll influence others to duplicate your character.

♀ Think and act pretty, and you’ll make yourself prettier.

♀ Think and act unselfishly, and you’ll become a helpmate.

♀ Think and primp in front of a mirror every day, and you’ll become prettier.

This ends the good, the bad, and the ugly. More at posts 314, 313, and 312. Scroll down.

296. Preventive Maintenance — Checklist I

Compared to men, women are relationship experts. They detect emotional cracks and strains long before their man.

This makes women best qualified for relationship maintenance, which effectively puts them in charge.

It’s easily understandable that whoever’s in charge should be responsible for preventive maintenance. So, a squabble-prevention checklist starts here.  

♥  Cooperation compliments each other.

♣  Competition challenges one or the other.

♣  Loose lips irritate.

♣  Blame inflames.

♣  Argument is counterproductive.

♥  Patience reduces tension.

♥  Discretion shows respect.

♥  Loving silence nags.

♥  Gratefulness seals a deal.

♥  Respect lets him defend her.

♣  Self outweighs Us.

♣  Changing him discredits her judgment.

♣  Two captains in one ship leads to mutiny.

♥  Tact works like WD-40 on a rusty hinge.

♣  Progress stops with loss of temper.  

♥  Submissiveness is an attitude of gratitude, whichever way it flows.

♥  Understanding balances A.D.D. (See post #3)

Prevention is the better part of valor. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  

175. Female malpractice—Part 3

♣ Morality serves women much more than men. To the extent a woman fails to live within and uphold a self-imposed strong moral code, she can expect mistreatment by men and consequent mistreatment of herself by herself.

♣ Women choose to ignore this benefit dealing with a man. When she repeatedly refuses their first-time sex, he honors her wishes, explores her qualities, heeds her strengths, and accepts her weaknesses. More importantly, she learns whether he’s after her or just after sex. (Details appear in posts about Virtual Virginity.)

♣ Women use sex to capture men for short term benefits. Long term relationships are thus greatly weakened.

♣ Men expect respect and gratitude from their woman. Her encouraging and cheering him onward and upward provides it. Nagging and criticism cancel it.

♣ Women yield first time sex to men who threaten to leave if she doesn’t. Next step: Dumped. It’s not her. He got what he’s after.

♣ Men flourish with a woman’s respect and gratefulness much more than her love and affection. Modern women provide love and affection well punctuated with disrespect and ingratitude.

♣ Men are as handsome, charming, and beneficial as women treat them. They are as unappealing, aggressive, and dominant as women call them. The self-fulfilling prophecy works both ways.

[More about female malpractice appears at posts 164 and 150. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

164. Female malpractice—Part 2

Women complain that men need to be told how to relate better with women. Women ignore or forget this difference in the genders: You don’t tell men—collectively or individually—how to relate without producing unintended consequences. Feminism’s Dark Side describes it for men generally. Exes produce the evidence about individuals.

• She shows signs that she appreciates him, but only when things go her way.
• She makes her nesting more important than his ego. For example, her drive for fashion outweighs to a fault his desire for functionality.
• She spends contrary to his frugality.
• She calls his ego troublesome, while she blithely claims women have no ego.
• She denigrates his ego, when it’s the outward expression and protector of his significance.
• She makes herself feel good at his expense. For example, she accommodates the kids while ignoring his priorities or even presence.
• She rides herd on him to prevent little mistakes or impose her will or preference for how things are to be done.
• She tells him how to handle and solve his problems at his place of employment. (Men keep silent about their work to prevent her interference and to prevent her judgments about what he tells her—which can never be the whole story.)
• When associating with his male friends, she tries to act like one of the guys to win their appreciation for either her or him.
• She tells him HOW and WHEN to do things instead of citing WHAT needs to be done and let him work out the details.

It’s not the big things that hold a man, such as sex, feeding, love, likeability, respect, devotion. The accumulation of little malpractices causes his interests in her to seep away through cracks she causes with disrespectful and ungrateful incidents.

[More about female malpractice appears in post 150. Scrolling down is best, but you can search on the number with a dot and space after it.]