2131. Male Blessings — How Men Start Out In Life

The following are the essentials and the forerunner of Male Blessings At Birth to be posted soon at blog top.

Female blessings are qualities that make women grateful and are first steps to their happiness. Male blessings are heart-felt characteristics that men possess without regard to gratitude; they are just that way and are born to claim it. It’s just possession rather than gratitude. Their claims, however, are essential for each man to earn satisfaction within himself. Satisfaction, it’s the natural equivalent of happiness for women.

Ladies, you may be shocked especially with the first item. All men readers are urged to disagree if they can; I seek to post the truth clearly. Before lessons learned in life teach him to be more circumspect, agreeable, and perhaps polished because he wants something from women, a typical man would say:

1. Until I upgrade them in my interest, women play a subordinate role in my life: a) They can be fun to play with mentally and physically. b) They make marvelous distractions from everyday burdens. c) They are vital for my sex life. d) Having a good mate can make life more convenient, functional, and enjoyable and my ambitions more easily realized.
2. My life is built on, around, over, under, and through self-respect.
3. I respect myself but find I must reinforce it regularly by doing something until I am at least temporarily satisfied.
4. I feel satisfied and respectable following the completion of something I set out to do. Less so when ordered to do it or it’s not my idea. And disrespected when told to do something I already know how to do.
5. My self-respect becomes reinforced when I do everything right the first time. But I become frustrated with disturbing surprises, undue interruptions, and when things don’t proceed or turn out my way.
6. I respect myself for doing something better as I see it—or doing something else as I want it—and enabling it all to lead to contentment. IOW, life’s rewards are in the satisfaction that comes from doing what I want to do and just how I want to do it.
7. I work to accomplish things and feelings don’t count as things (except  self-respect).
8. I am my own man. I don’t change to please others and especially not females.
9. I don’t respect myself when I criticize others. I don’t like my tendency to criticize myself, and so I don’t inflict it on anyone else. Let them learn from their own mistakes the same way I do.
10. I respect myself even when I seem to act impulsively. Much of what I accomplish well is prompted by need to act quickly.
11. I respect myself for being a ‘figure-outer’. I believe in what I figure out much easier and more indelibly than what others convince me of. (So, why stop and ask for directions?)
12. Having to explain myself is contrary to my self-respect.
13. I support and uphold self-respect by living by and with my responsibilities and decisions surrounding them.
14. Criticize me if you like. I can take it. Do it too much though and I’ll get even or leave.
15. My erections are to be used. How I do it contributes significantly to self-respect. Hard thrusting and deep penetration amplify my sense of dominance and enhance my self-worth like nothing else. Orgasm isn’t the prime mover; it’s feedback of job well done.
16. My sex drive comes in two very different versions. a) Conquer every sexually attractive woman I can, which significantly amplifies self-respect. b) Satisfy my sexual urges in the best way available at the moment of erection, which reinforces self-respect unless my conscience says otherwise.
17. Purity is important but symbolic. I prefer a virgin bride in order to beat out all those other guys who tried and failed. As with other things I pursue, being first enhances self-respect.
18. My conscience is guided by what’s best for my self-interest, which may or may not include the interest of someone else.
19. I am easily self-encouraged to both play and be lazy, but I’m built for work. Self-satisfaction lies with work and I can’t always play or be lazy. I love to build, disassemble, grow, change, improve, and replace things to make life easier. Enabling and earning laziness that way provides immense satisfaction.
20. I am responsible only for myself until I purposely step up to something or someone else, which takes a lot of selling for me to buy in. (Note the contradiction that women have to work out. He expects to be sold on providing/protecting but she expects to be sold on his merit as potential mate. He buys into the concept by selling her on the idea of buying into him. IOW, relationship experts have to convince men to sell themselves down the marital river.)
21. I’m simple. I respect myself for being pretty easy to understand.
22. I love to idle my mind, to shift into neutral. It’s nourishes me mentally.
23. I’m not fearful. I can figure out how to prevent or overcome whatever comes up.
24. I can recover from almost anything and know who to recruit for help if I need it.
25. Complaining produces no beneficial results except to make me feel better about relieving myself of unwanted mental burdens.
26. I see no reason for more than minimal foreplay. If I’m ready, she’s ready.
27. I expect people to earn my respect before I trust them.
28. I’m very particular about food, money, and women and don’t care to explain myself.
29. I’m not particular about emotions except my own. I can handle mine and expect others to do the same.
30. I’m a man of habit. I like what I like and expect to keep doing it and loving it.
31. My weaknesses shame me, and illness tends to do the same.
32. I’m a good lover whenever I choose to be but most women are not worth the extra effort.
33. I don’t expect others to like me. If they do that’s fine. If they don’t that’s okay too.
34. I’m a creature of habits that I create and have little or no wish to change.
35. I will make a difference. Don’t know when or where, but I will.
36. I’m capable of doing good in life but everyday conditions don’t make it worthwhile. Incentives are lacking to do anything but take care of myself as best I can.
37. I’m a daily guy. I feel a sense of dignity if I have somewhere to go in the morning, some obligation to start my day. I can handle tomorrow when it gets here.
38. I think the primary purpose of money is convenience, mostly for use now.
39. I intuitively reject efforts to be or act female-like. It weakens my self-respect and makes me less respectable.
40. Might makes right.
41. I’m a taker. I appreciate whatever I may get but I don’t much respect those who give for nothing. I expect to earn what I get.
42. As a hunter-conqueror I find hard-to-conquer targets far more appealing and valuable as reinforcement for my self-respect.
43. The most intolerable offense against my self-respect is sexual infidelity of my mate. Revealing my sexual shortcomings to anyone is second. Lying is third and stealing fourth.
44. A woman who diligently protects her sexual assets as her greatest asset earns respect. To do less is to respect her less.
45. After conquering a woman, I ‘own’ our sexual agenda.
46. I don’t like to admit it, but my greatest fear is insignificance.
47. I only need one thing. A place to flop, eat, throw my things, and prepare to fight tomorrow’s dragons. I need my stuff to be left alone so I can find it when I need it.
48. I crave the freedom to do my own life by living with my own decisions.
49. My primary challenge in life is to beat all those other guys who aspire to do what I want to do.
50. I am not easily offended. Even when I am, I get over it fairly easy. I like it best and things work better when normal is what is normal for me.

There must be more blessings that men inherit at birth, but they haven’t yet come to mind. Those above will soon be explained in greater detail similar to that of Female Blessings at Birth. The result will be posted permanently at blog top. I invite readers, especially men readers, to propose revisions or new blessings we males may inherit at birth.

In the meantime, I ask all readers for your opinion about the accuracy of those posted above. This is a review prior to permanent posting. It’s how men are born and not what they learn in life; you can see early traces in toddler boys. Agree or disagree? Suggestion: Use T or F for any numbered item. Better yet, use B for believable or U for unbelievable. Truth and clarity drive me to do this. Other comments are also welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for whatever opinions you choose to present.

254. Newlywed Bonding #5 — Pain that heals

In our land of great wealth, many couples break up over financial troubles. Then, they do it again with someone else. Most just can’t learn what it takes to avoid financial instability and payday rape by creditors.

Some people avoid spending except when necessary. They rely on will power. They don’t succumb to impulses. They suppress whatever need they may have for immediate gratification. They build their lifestyle around necessities with few luxuries. Shopping has no allure. They value functionality over fashion, essentials over convenience, labor- and time-intensive over labor- and time-savers. The rest of us are different.

Here are some principles, beliefs, attitudes, convictions, and lessons that can help newlyweds step off on the right foot.

♂$♀  There will be never enough money until you have so much that ‘enough’ is never thought of.

♂$♀ Control of money will always be more important than amount available.

♂$♀  Control requires a decision process. We call it the pain that heals, or simply ‘budgeting’.

♂$♀  The budgeting process keeps a couple focused on improving their lives. With the force of self-imposed rules, it pushes them to do in the present, what they need for their future.

The list continues in forthcoming posts.

[More about newlyweds appears at posts 247, 242, 230 and 224. Scroll down or search by number with dot and space following it.]

108. Chaste courtship works—Part 3

NOTE: Thanks to Suzanne for triggering this post. She put a big smile on my face, and I love it when pretty women do that. Guy

Relationships start with attraction, infatuation, and lust; fold into passion and love; and level off as enduring mutual love. Or, so women hope.

The rules for success are many, but wrongs trump rules, Nature trumps Love, and men trump women that don’t know how to make men successful at husbanding and fathering.

For successful living with a man, women as the relationship expert need to overcome the innumerable devils in the details. For example:

• Men don’t take orders from women. It weakens his sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly.
• Women must qualify their man for marriage; condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations; and expect never to change him after their first sex together.
• Man of the House, Head of the House, Home CEO, or whatever you call it, women indirectly govern the home unless she sided with the wrong man. It takes a long courtship to decide correctly.
• It’s her nest to build into a castle. But then, he expects comfort and convenience over her perfectionism, functionality over her style and fashion, and at least the appearance if not the actuality of him as boss. 
• Men respond to women eventually, but not immediately, directly, or openly. They need time and latitude to make his meeting her expectations look like something else—even his idea. Men can afford to be impatient, but their woman cannot. Patience is an immensely great female virtue for marriage.
• Men treat women as females teach them, mostly earlier in life. Mothers sometimes fail, girls stupidly don’t condition boys to respect females, and single women provide sex before they earn a man’s respect by not providing it. Hence, some men mistreat women.

People don’t mistreat those they respect. That’s why a long courtship helps qualify a man as having had a good upbringing and as having developed potential for treating her well.