Tag Archives: courtship

1966. Compatibility Axioms #361-370


361. Men delight in easy conquest. It adds temporary value to her, but devalues her as keeper. [132]
362. Few things expose a man’s character more readily than being repeatedly denied sex by a woman on whom he has set his sights for conquest. [132]
363. Boys raised with little affection before puberty neither provide nor respond well to affection later in life. [132]
364. Hunter-conquerors can be grateful and possess good intentions, but their drive to conquer another woman never completely dies. It’s the male nature, and only devotion earned by one woman discourages it. [132]
365. A woman’s refusal for unmarried sex builds virtue. It earns a man’s admiration and respect, which energizes his imagination and convinces him that she will probably be faithful to him. (“If she won’t yield to my talent and charm, she won’t yield to anyone else either,” or so he thinks and if her other signs don’t cause questions.) [132]
366. Courtship without sexual relations teaches boys and men to suppress their aggression and honor a female’s standards and expectations. The process also exposes males to her non-sexual qualities that earn admiration and are seen as virtues. [132]
367. Easily available, unobligated, and unmarried sex aids the conquerors’ pursuit. On the other hand, men must work harder to impress and ‘sell’ themselves as guardians of female interests when women abstain outside marriage. [132]
368. Fathers may acquiesce, but they don’t take kindly to mothers accepting and supporting the inevitability of a daughter’s unmarried sexual activity. [132]
369. Failure of a man to honor a woman’s standards and expectations—e.g., claiming her sexual history to be none of his business—means more failures will follow after conquest regardless of what he says before that monumental event. [132]
370. A man’s initial love of a woman is based on respect earned about her virtue, self-respect, and likeability as mate. His enduring love is overwhelmingly sustained by her respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. (Very different from women, so see the next article, 1967, to be published tomorrow.) [132]

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1948. Compatibility Axioms #301-310


301. Virtual virginity means keeping her legs crossed before marriage. It puts her in the buyer’s seat and forces a man to be the seller, to make himself worthy of her instead of the other way around. (Men don’t truly appreciate what they don’t earn.) [125]
302. Her attractiveness spikes his interest for sex. It’s up to her to convert that interest over to her. Heeding granny’s advice to keep a dime between her knees works best. [125]
303. Her first refusal for sex spreads a man’s interest to try harder, to know her better. Subsequent refusals push him to look ever deeper for weaknesses he can exploit to convince her to yield. (Presuming he accepts her refusals as other than rejections of him.) [125]
304. As her refusals continue in courtship, he serendipitously discovers her admirable strengths and non-sexual qualities. These earn more respect both for her potential as a keeper and promise for mating. (Provided, of course, he’s more interested in her than just conqueror’s sex.) [125]
305. By yielding sex before marriage, she reverses their natural roles. She becomes seller to his buyer, and he’s paid her price when she yields. It’s too late for her to raise the ante; the door closes partly or fully on his investing more in her even though the potential for it resides in the male nature. [125]
306. As the seller, she settles for less than she deserves because she has only one conquest event with each man. (Women may not see it that way, but men do. Men change after conquest, and it forces women to change to stay abreast of the conqueror.) [125]
307. Conquest is a relationship-changing event for a man. He quits looking so interestedly at a conquered woman. Nature releases his heart to pursue something or somebody else. [125]
308. By yielding unmarried sex, she lets a man know what price she charges for submission. This naturally, automatically, and subconsciously programs his mind on how their relationship will work in the future. It enlarges his expectations for getting his way with her—we’re talking greater male dominance here, aren’t we? [125]
309. The longer and more intensely without sex that he stays focused on her, the greater their bonding and the more promising their future together. [125]
310. Just a friendly touch in passing or a pat on the back sends a message of trust that earns a man’s regard if not respect. If he mistakes her friendliness for something else, she has uniquely subtle ways to turn him off without offense and immense power to discourage with offense. Friendly touching in passing is a small price women pay. It helps hold onto the respect of men other than their own, which magnifies their gratefulness for both men and themselves. [123]

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1939. Compatibility Axioms #251-260


251. Born hard-headed and soft-hearted, the former serves women best before marriage and the latter afterward. Her hard-headedness stimulates competition. Her soft-heartedness contains patience that fuels cooperation. [109]
252. A woman’s sexual history affects her man’s sense of significance whether she knows it or not or accepts it or not. [111]
253. If he won’t honor her values, standards, and expectations before conquest, he likely won’t afterward. [113]
254. Conquest convinces him that he’s worthy enough for her; he need not try harder. She’s left to prove  that she’s more worthy for him but without her greatest ‘convincer’. [113]
255. If he won’t romance her before they get into foreplay and intercourse, he likely won’t learn to do it for their future together. [113]
256. Courtship works best when he’s the seller and she’s the buyer. He convinces her of his worth. [113]
257. Marriage works best when he’s the buyer and she’s the seller. She convinces him of her worth. [113]
258. A woman thrives on a man’s devotion but too easily forgets that it arises from what he does for her and not what she does for him. [113]
259. If she yields sex to him, she should expect conqueror’s rights to kick in. First, he’s convinced that he’s worthy enough and can stop chasing her. Second, he takes charge of their sexual agenda. [113]
260. The harder she is to conquer, the more trophy-like she appears to him. [113]

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1936. Compatibility Axioms #231-240


A friendly reminder: I’m not describing what women want or would like to see. I describe the natures of men and women that they ‘inherit’ at birth, that which God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize.

231. It takes a lengthy courtship for her to figure out how to both succeed with a man and even if he’s really worth it. [107]
232. The groundwork is laid in courtship for her later rewards. It’s both the training and proving ground for his learning to live with her. Heaven forbid that she’s insincere because men tend to fight back when they’re surprised. [107]
233. Relationships start with attraction, infatuation, and lust that fold into passion and love and level off as enduring mutual love. Or, so women hope and dream. But each phase requires different but sincere behaviors out of her. [108]
234. The rules for success are many, but wrongs trump rules, Nature trumps love, and men trump women that don’t know how to make a man successful at husbanding and fathering. [108]
235. Men don’t take orders from women; it weakens a man’s sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly and less insistently. [108]
236. Women must qualify their man for marriage; condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations; and expect never to change him after their first sex together. [108]
237. Man of the House, Head of the House, Home CEO, or whatever you call it, the woman indirectly governs the home unless she joined up with the wrong man. It takes a long courtship to decide correctly and make such a future together. [108]
238. It’s her nest that her man considers his castle. He expects comfort and convenience over her perfectionist tendencies, functionality over her style and fashion, and the appearance of him as boss. When she insists on her way, he tends to object and rule more. [108]
239. Husbands respond to their wife’s thinking but not immediately, directly, or openly. A husband needs time and latitude to make wife’s expectation look like something else—even his idea. Men can afford to be impatient, but their woman cannot. Patience is an immensely great female virtue for marriage. [108]
240.Men treat women as females teach them earlier in life. Mother didn’t exemplify self-respect and didn’t respect the son as different. Girls didn’t condition the boy to respect females and domesticity. Single women didn’t earn the man’s respect by denying sex. Flowing out of those consequences, men mistreat women. [108]

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1918. Compatibility Axioms #121-130


121. It’s far more important that she help him succeed to himself than to her or the family—if he’s worth keeping, that is. It’s the taproot of family integrity. [72]

122. He can’t be successful to himself, if others see him weakened by his wife. His competitors are outside the home, not inside.[73]

123. The issue of who submits to whom revolves around respect each has for the other. When she wants him to succeed, look good, or lead the way, she submits. When he likes her way of doing something, he submits if there’s no watering down of his authority or direct threat to his dominance as perceived by others.[73]

124. When women act like men, men treat them as other guys—as competitors and eligible even for physical handling to get a man’s way. [75]

125. Courtship provides opportunities for a woman to be hard-headedly female against a man’s hard-headed persistence to have things the masculine way. The opportunities fade after marriage, but soft-heartedness is her key to then soften his dominance. [75]

126. Wife seeks to change her husband, but he resists, resents, and eventually retaliates if she keeps it up. [75]

127. Without exceptional respect for his woman, a man’s enduring love never arises to replace the temporary romantic love that fades in a year or two. [75]

128. Women flourish with a man’s enduring love, but it arises only from his respect for women generally and her particularly. The roots extend back to his boyhood and their pre-conquest days. [75]

129. When she makes herself worthy of a man by providing sex readily, it doesn’t matter much if she’s pretty and attractive. Sloppy or comfortable may work for her, but it adds not to his reputation for having a good looker. This diminishes her worth as keeper. [75]

130. A woman that parents her man slowly crushes his sense of significance. It highlights his immaturity, and this shifts his mentality back toward adolescence. His ego seeks solace, so he cheats emotionally or physically. [75]

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1916. Compatibility Axioms #111-120


111.By their nature, women favor equality as primary for decision making. Men favor fairness. Resolve it early or arguments compound and bitterness can’t be far behind.

112. Any promise of his castle dies, when she takes charge after marriage and keeps squeezing him to fit better into her ideals of their home and model of life within it. [54]

113. Submissiveness is a cooperative spirit. Regardless of its name and who possesses it when and where, such a spirit is essential for marriage to work. [56]

114. Phonies lose in the end. During courtship she hides her true character in order to get a man to marry her. Afterward, she reverts to her true self and to him becomes a different woman—one he did not intend to marry. [54]

115. It quickens his departure, when she rejects him as family hero and elevates the kids over him. [54]

116. It subverts a marriage, when she treats his opinions as less important and judgments as less valuable than those of someone else. [54]

117. Each marriage faces three monumental events: the 2-year glitch, 7-year itch, and 20-year switch. Prevention starts years earlier. Avoidance is difficult. Recovery makes the steep slope slicker, but it all toughens mates. [65]

118. Nothing is foolproof, but the virtual virginity strategy works best to remarry an ex. If he’s going to be any different than in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more.  [70]

119. Feminism makes women think more like men, especially ‘me before you’ and ‘me before us’. Such women lose much of their natural expertise for holding a man.[71]

120. A man expects to succeed as himself in all of his relationship roles. He focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects. [72]

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1305. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 43


  • The way to a woman’s happiness is far easier than for men. First, forget happiness as a goal. Second, pursue what makes her feel important. Third, find gratitude in what she does and the people in her life. Fourth, stay focused on her gratitude including gratefulness for the problems only she can resolve and frustrations only she can overcome. She only has to recognize her gratefulness for happiness to flood her spirit.
  • Why is the way to female happiness far easier than for men? Women are born soft-hearted and men are not. The difference enables women to more easily find gratitude in what they do and in those with whom they associate.
  • When prospective parents know the sex of the fetus, they switch their thinking and emotions onto the child and away from the mother. Give prenatal glory to the small-c creator, and both mom and child will benefit the most.
  • Her femaleness makes her a sex object. Her appearance makes her a sex target. Her virtues slowly exposed morph into the promise that a hunter-conqueror needs to want her to the exclusion of other men.
  • Dating is for uncovering likeability. Courtship is for exploration. Engagement is for confirmation. Marriage is for exploiting their respective strengths and fulfilling their mutual hopes and dreams.
  • When women think of all men as dolts, idiots, etc., they more easily see what’s not admirable about their own man. When women think that men are good and worthwhile, they more easily admire their man. (Admiration builds a man’s ambitions and fertilizes his sense of personal responsibility.)

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955. Submission or Submissive?—Section C: Her Plan of Action


During dating, courtship, and engagement women lay groundwork to win or lose in the marital power game. As the relationship expert, a strong female intuitively knows about these pointers, but not all females are feminine or expert enough to use them to feather their domestic nest.

  • Women face two fine lines along which to tread judiciously. One separates competition from cooperation and the other separates his dominance (aka expectation for her to submit) and her submissiveness
  • The female best able to march boldly along those two lines emerges victorious in all her relationships. She competes such that he takes no offense while simultaneously encouraging him to cooperate with her agenda. She submits to his dominance such that he’s pleased, but she ultimately gets her way. She treads two very fine lines, but doing so manifests her likeability as mate.
  • She knows that competing with a man before marriage wins his respect so essential for his love. Competing with him after marriage eases her toward the recycle bin.

There’s another line but more clearly seen at the altar: before and after marriage.

  • Before: She competes strongly with him to shape their relationship to match her agenda and fulfill her hopes and dreams. She doesn’t submit as she would after marriage; instead she stands up to him to make his dominance less domineering and more acceptable for marriage.
  • After: She quits competing with him; instead she becomes submissive but not as sycophant. She works to coordinate their cooperation into promoting his job and efforts for the short term while fulfilling her hopes and dreams for the long term.

God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize women to compete with a man before marriage and cooperate with him after marriage. Thus, she wins her respected place in their premarital relationship and sustains her respected place in marriage.

 

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