673. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 36

♦       She faces a date not wanting to screw up their future together. He faces a date not wanting to screw up the date.

♦       Women worry most about what’s happening or about to happen to them, e.g., being dumped. Men worry most about how they’re going to accomplish something, finish a job, or be able to get by with less than the ideal.

♦       For winning influence, changing opinions, and stabilizing emotional situations, well-timed and -expressed female assertiveness overpowers male aggressiveness.

♦       When doing something for someone else, men have a greater sense of personal accomplishment than women. Consequently, for the incidentals of life, men are less needful of a Thank You than women.

♦       Many people don’t feel good about themselves unless they are talking. A few are men, but most are women.

♦       Men use the past to justify the present, e.g., using lessons learned to explain doing something unusual today. They expect that what’s coming up will be shaped by what they do today. Women make use of present conditions to brighten their future, e.g., smooth out relationship frictions. What went before doesn’t help them much, especially if the finger of blame or shame points at themselves or others.

228. Female Fortitude—46 through 50

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

46. Some women dress erotically to capture a man and follow up with sloppy dress and grooming that turns his head toward other neat and erotically attired females. Other women know that sloppy appearance and inattentive personal grooming at home and in public spawns other women as potential trophies in their man’s eyes.

47. Dark Side Truth #3—Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to favor ingratitude for their man’s imperfections rather than gratefulness for his manliness and strengths. Eventually, a man tires of it, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows.

49. First impressions motivate a man. Modest boobery signals she’s relatively unavailable but may be worth a chase. The man that finds her sufficiently attractive preps himself to spend a lot of time and effort with her. He figures it’s needed just to penetrate her resistance that’s reflected by her apparent modesty. Her modesty energizes his perceptiveness and imagination to her advantage. It also pressures him to learn to honor her expectations for him.

50.  Old school. When women denied sex without marriage, men didn’t take rejection personally. They blamed her hang ups, moral,  religious, or whatever. New school. As modern females provide sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. Some males can’t recover one much less repeated refusals. It can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

68. Hook up but no call—Part 1

Women hook up only to ask the question: Why does he not call? Possible reasons apply both after weeks of dating and one night stands.

Ω He doesn’t respect you, dummy. You fell too easily for his fast talk.

Ω You were too easy to conquer and denied him the ego satisfaction of overcoming a tough sex target.

Ω You’re so easy almost any man can score. You hold little promise for faithfulness to one man.

Ω You’re a one-timer, because you don’t like and respect yourself as a unique, hard-headed female.

Ω He’s just not into pushovers except to notch his bedpost.

Ω Your round heels proclaim you have little else than sex to offer.

Ω You’ll make a good duty slut, so he’s delayed calling to be sure you don’t jump to other conclusions and to also strengthen his dominant persona.

50. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 03

From Matrimony to Acrimony—In the couples’ world today graciousness drowns, mutual gratefulness withers, and husbands respond disruptively. Respect, courtesy, and good manners disappear. Male aggression escalates. Masculine strengths and manly civility are purposely under appreciated, and men resent, resist, and retaliate.

Devotion seldom forms, and commitment means temporary. Husbands shift focus to another blossom, and wives seek escape from misery-with-a-man to misery-without.

But it worsens in the modern world of masculine-style sexual freedom for everyone. Men and women first meet, interact, and even date. He delivers attention and persuasion, and she’s supposed to follow by providing unobligated sex. It’s all done for fun and lust according to mutual taste. She may even initiate. That’s the model.

The reality proves different because of intolerable effects on some men.  

Old school. Women seek marriage before sex. When a woman denies sex to the man, he doesn’t take rejection personally. He blames the rejectionist for moral, religious, or female hang-ups to assuage his ego. His self-esteem and self-image don’t take unrecoverable hits. He understands that women are in charge of sexual mores, and his self-interest keeps him in pursuit of sex targets without wanting to punish females for rejection.

New school. When most females provide free, open, and casual sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. A man knows she’s doing it with other guys but not him. Why just him? His self-esteem bottoms out. His self-image as a ‘good man’ with a woman dwindles. His ego takes a humongous hit after his imagination ruminates over her put down. His self-interest shifts toward revenge mode.

Some males cannot recover one much less repeated refusals. Rejections can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.

44. Virtual Virginity #1

Virtual virginity means acting like a virgin committed to saving herself for her husband.

Abstinence holds men off. Chastity keeps men interested. Virginity—real, virtual, or imagined—attracts the Marrying Man.

The more restrained a woman’s sexual activity, the easier to earn a man’s respect upon which his love can be built. (Coming soon: A post about the toxins of disclosing her sexual history.)

Playing ‘hard-to-get’ empowers a woman to dominate a courtship. She can separate a man’s actions as devotion to her alone from his words of commitment that may be hollow to enable conquest. She can shape their relationship to keep brightening her future. She can force a long sex-free courtship to better assess his character and value as husband and potential father.

Once she yields, however, his nature and character—or lack of character—take hold. He assumes the dominant role as conqueror’s right.

42. Escaping loneliness

Women: This is not advice, but another model to understand male thinking.

Recruit Mr. Right at a big church. Go weekly and arrive before everyone else. Seek isolation and sit out in the open. (If others join you, they hide the mystery or your isolation.) Select the pew so you can be easily approached without someone having to sit with you.

Go alone, as a girlfriend will detract from you. Groom and dress neatly and modestly, very pretty and very feminine. You may want to invest in a make over, if your luck recently has not been good. Be predictable, pleasant, patient, and a study for others, while you study your bible. Keep doing it weekly, same service, same attractiveness, same pleasantness.

When approached, do not act eager but polite with just a hint of ‘vague and unavailable’. Your being alone works to a man’s strength and advantage. Women alone need rescue, so a man will assume your loneliness signals need for him. Also, if he is to be rejected, he wants no witnesses.

Men or the mothers of unattached men will find you. One may be worth keeping. Or, some man may invite you to a singles class or other church function by way of a ‘half-date’. This would be much better than showing up at such places as your desperate self or at the invitation of another female.

The purpose of this scenario is to meet men better grounded in respect for the female gender than those you’ll meet bar hopping. It guarantees nothing, but it signals to men that you think for yourself, will not be easily conquered, and may be ideal for a wife. Thus, you start off in charge of any relationship that develops.