- The way to a woman’s happiness is far easier than for men. First, forget happiness as a goal. Second, pursue what makes her feel important. Third, find gratitude in what she does and the people in her life. Fourth, stay focused on her gratitude including gratefulness for the problems only she can resolve and frustrations only she can overcome. She only has to recognize her gratefulness for happiness to flood her spirit.
- Why is the way to female happiness far easier than for men? Women are born soft-hearted and men are not. The difference enables women to more easily find gratitude in what they do and in those with whom they associate.
- When prospective parents know the sex of the fetus, they switch their thinking and emotions onto the child and away from the mother. Give prenatal glory to the small-c creator, and both mom and child will benefit the most.
- Her femaleness makes her a sex object. Her appearance makes her a sex target. Her virtues slowly exposed morph into the promise that a hunter-conqueror needs to want her to the exclusion of other men.
- Dating is for uncovering likeability. Courtship is for exploration. Engagement is for confirmation. Marriage is for exploiting their respective strengths and fulfilling their mutual hopes and dreams.
- When women think of all men as dolts, idiots, etc., they more easily see what’s not admirable about their own man. When women think that men are good and worthwhile, they more easily admire their man. (Admiration builds a man’s ambitions and fertilizes his sense of personal responsibility.)
Tag Archives: dating
She has to make choices. I caution against being guided by her dreams about life with a man, his pledges of commitment, or perhaps their mutual intentions. She will do better deciding beforehand the choices to be made—regardless of who the man is—in these critical stages:
· Dating is for fun. Courtship is for involvement. Engagement is for mutual examination. Church-going is for generating and improving devotion to each other. Does she know how she will handle each? How much time she will need? More importantly and when necessary, can she convince him of her rightness?
· Pre-conquest is for generating his respect for her and shaping his thinking into more closely matching hers. Does she see this as her opportunity to shape forever their relationship?
· Conquest is his reward—aka return on investment—for investing himself in her hopes and dreams. Did she remain chaste long enough for him to even learn her hopes and dreams? Will she yield on lust, intentions, promises, commitment, or devotion? Can she tell the difference?
· When she yields sex, it releases him from his quest to conquer her. He changes to having an owner’s expectations, but will it be to her advantage or disadvantage? Can she tell ahead of time? For sure?
· Marriage to him adds another mission to his life. Does she know what she has to give up in exchange for his independence?
Love-aholics and women desperate for a man can’t keep a man. Foolish women, much like adolescent girls, let love dominate their thinking. Love can’t be relied upon to successfully pick and keep a mate who will stick through thick and thin, raising kids, and providing comfort. For example, where do in-laws fit in? That’s next.
♦ In the marital marketplace, female virtue adds the greatest value to her. Character virtue adds the greatest value to him. Both are difficult to appraise and appreciate without lengthy engagement.
♦ She shapes their relationship to meet her expectations. Dating for other reasons wastes her time and his money, because ultimately she’s after a lifetime partner.
♦ Her purpose for dating is all about pleasing HER, but she works through him. With charm and indirectness she triggers his curiosity, stimulates his imagination about her, and generates mutual hope about what they can become together. He’s just after fun and games and doubtless sex, and it pleases her to divert him into pleasing her in other ways.
♦ Some people prefer the certainty of misery to the uncertainty of change. (Not original but source long forgotten.)
♦ Parents plant faith in toddlerhood, reinforce it in the tweens, and encourage it to blossom in the teens. Since faith knows no vacuum, what parents don’t implant, someone else does.
♦ Think of yourself as victim, and you’re freed up to await help from others.
♦ Authority imposed with hot temper kills respect. Also, hot temper flare ups don’t build respectable respect but fearful respect.
♦ If she has limited or constricted ability to be grateful, unhappiness follows her easily.
Before the sexual revolution, married women shaped society by dominating the culture. After the 1960s unmarried females enabled men to dominate the culture, and now the society works against females. She always has choices, however….
© Her Nature: She shapes their relationship to meet her expectations for fulfilling her hopes and dreams. Dating for other reasons wastes her time and his money. Is this current practice?
© His Nature: Dates using her money benefit him financially but weaken his emotional ties to her. If she’ll pay, she’ll play—his game, that is. Using his money adds value to her as person instead of sex object. Spending on her invests himself in her and her interests, as long as he doesn’t see it as cover charge for sex. This final point uplifts virtual virginity to best strategy and hardtoget as best tactic. Is this approach popular?
© Money: Wasting his money harms her reputation, but using hers weakens their relationship. Acknowledged by females?
© Look Alike: If she won’t yield sex, they shouldn’t spend her money. Her money works best when she handles it under the same principles as her chastity—as reward for giving up his independence in marriage rather than as bribe to stick around or settle down prematurely. Do women nowadays see it this way?
© Booty: Dateless sex makes her valuable for booty call but under his terms. Something may develop beyond conquest, but what stirs his interest about her beyond sex? Her money?
J If men see no need to date, what does that say about female values, standards, and expectations? Women object to male dominance, but men dominate the dating scene by not dating except on their terms. Women object to the concept of submission to husbandly leadership, but they submit to anything just to have a date or boyfriend, and then try to escape submission after marriage.
J To the male mind, sexual likeability isolates itself from personal likeability. Sex does not bond men, so it has little staying power once he thinks ‘that’s enough’ or ‘who’s next’.
J He measures her personal likeability by his respect of and appreciation for who she is. It keeps him around. Time spent with her bonds him tighter and reinforces his staying around.
J A guy doesn’t invest himself in dating any girl that buddies or their associates are screwing without dating her. Unless it’s strictly for sex, that is, and he can’t conquer her any other way. Then, he has to dump her right after conquest to save face with the guys that scored with her without a date.
J If a guy won’t invest himself by dating a woman, he sure won’t invest himself by marrying her. If he does, it’s for reasons other than her personal merits. Such as: Help him get through med or law school! Get job through her father! Hopeful of her inheritance!
♀ A woman’s soft-hearted nature should be reserved for husband and kids. Relying on it during dating and courtship makes her vulnerable to join her sisters in the ex lane.
♀ When a hottie becomes haughty, she might as well be a nottie—after conquest, that is.
♀ Expectant mothers duplicate tee-shirted, pot-bellied men, which drives expectant father’s eyeballs to every attractive female within sight.
♀ He cheats on her, so she cheats on him. The former hurts her, the latter terminates their relationship.
♀ Women abandon femininity, modesty, high moral standards, and other female strengths just to have a boyfriend or husband they can’t keep.
♀ It’s self-fulfilling: A wife blames husband for his faults. Accused men resist change and defend themselves by disproving the evidence presented. In her eyes, his resistance makes her see his faults as her failure to correct him. Her failures turn him toward inadequacy. It started with her accepting him with faults she could not stand.
♀ Behind each ex there’s an inadequate man. He’s either dumper or dumpee. Yet, she chose him with inadequate qualifications, and her choices will always determine her outcomes.
♀ Short-term romantic love seduces women into ignoring the need for her man’s respect. Hence, when romantic love fades in a year or two, his respect for her is not enough to fuel his long-term enduring love.
[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 246, 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]
These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.
66. A woman easily kills her relationship when she exhibits female weaknesses that harden her heart against cooperation and soften her head in favor of competing with her man.
67. She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs, cries, and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.
68. Women hook up only to ask, Why does he not call? Many possible reasons apply both after weeks of dating and one night stands.
69. Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually, as men do. Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple, as Nature endows them.
70. If her ex is going to be any different than he was in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more than before. Only that will make him favorably different, and virtual virginity earns such additional respect.
[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]