1796. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 75

1. Bitchiness arises out of role confusion. Her heart and mind are not in sync.
2. A female’s easy smile whispers that she knows she’s pretty.
3. The more different she appears from other women, the more unforgettable she is to a man.
4. If a wife mothers her husband, expect him to cheat. If he’s also of an adolescent mindset, expect to lose him.
5. When she shacks up with a man, she puts a lid on his respect that she can earn. Limited respect means limited love, which means limited time together.
6. Dignity—You have to act it to get it.
7. A man’s devotion shines when he relinquishes dominance to a woman on those issues she wishes to dominate.
8. Where laughter prevails, hope can’t be far behind. Hope and laughter go together. If you find little hope in your heart, find and generate laughter with your mind.
9. The best husbands are trained in toddlerhood. Mothers charm boys to absorb adult values they are too young to emulate but which program their heart. Mothers do it by inculcating/indoctrinating adult values while respecting them as person first, boy second, and ‘unrespecter’ of bad behavior third.
10. The female nature finds that manipulation comes easy. Men are not so inclined by nature.

802. Keepers for Keepers — Assortment 22

• Women seek commitment before conquest and expect devotion afterward. They expect the reverse of what men do easiest. [13]
• If she treats him as king before their wedding day, or fails to do so afterward, she weakens his potential as a forever husband. [10]
• Separation is not far off, if a couple doesn’t develop an enduring kind of love to replace romantic love that fades before their third year together. [65]
• The female nature seeks to live up to something bigger such as God, her man, her children. Men must learn to live that way, which puts teaching in the hands of females, and leadership by example works best. [18]
• The less respect that women show the male gender, the more irresponsible individual men become for helping fulfill female hopes and dreams for home and family. [18]
• Virtual virginity substitutes for the real thing. It can hold a man’s attention while feminine mystique, female modesty, admirable virtue, and moral standards capture his devotion.  [25]
• A man leads two roles with every woman to whom he is attracted. He is one way before he conquers her and something else afterward. [27]

788. Gender Differences Revisited — Group P

1. Sex and responsibility help men achieve their goals. Devotion to others and life tending toward the spiritual help women achieve theirs.
2. With regard to unmarried sexual activity, women are whatever they decide to be. Men are whatever they have to be to have access.
3. Two conquerors compete and struggle. He seeks sex, and she seeks marriage. The first to conquer shapes their future relationship together.
4. Unlike men, women tend to change whatever and whomever they find as inadequate—oftentimes parenting husbands as boys.
5. Unlike women, men draw a line between what is their business and what is not, between what they should change, and what they should leave to others.
6. When a man wants comfort and understanding, he turns to any woman. When a woman wants those things, she turns to a specific man.
7. Men look for taste bud satisfaction when eating. Women use food to help satisfy the necessities for life.
8. When women sour on their marriage, they turn against men. When men sour on their marriage, they turn against marriage.

Finally, may your blessings in the new year be so great they obscure the defeats and bad times of the year ending today.

768. Beware Red Flags — Part 4

Yesterday’s post was about in-laws and today it’s about the couple.

Take what follows as his potential as mate and not damnation of him as person. Perception is reality. If you see red flags waving, he may be Mr. Wrong. If not, however, it doesn’t make him Mr. Right.

The flavor of the list conveys all-out suspicion, but it’s not intended that way. It’s about you becoming more perceptive in the course of everyday life.

·        Are his promises of commitment confirmed by actions that show devotion? If not, it’s probably too early to commit yourself.

·        Do his actions match his words and vice versa? Major deviance can spell dishonesty, phoniness, lack of integrity, or all of the above. Minor differences indicate need for your greater analysis.

·        Does he have less education and earn less money than you? If yes, a super-beware is in order. It won’t bother you, but it will eat away at his dignity. Sooner or later he’ll hold it against you, especially the money bit. Moreover, it’s a set of pressures that push men toward someone else.

·        Does he seek to earn your devotion with his actions or with words? Trust his actions but verify his words.

·        Observe what he does when he thinks you’re not watching. You’ll learn much more than from his words.

·        Pay attention to what he does. Those things are important to him. If you complain, offenses against you that he doesn’t repeat can still return after conquest or marriage. So, you should find ways to assess his sincerity. (Again, just be more perceptive about everything without being suspicious of him.)

·        Watch for shady or unsteady character. His actions much more than words accurately reflect his role in your life. (Ideal roles look like this: You see much evidence of his devotion through his actions, and you devote to him in his working role, aka his missions in life. Mutual commitment and moral obligations work best as subsets that support mutual devotion.)

In the end you still have to decide. Love often overrides reason, but before it happens you should assess red flags that may forecast undesirable consequences. The final installment of this series flies tomorrow.

753. The Majesty of Sex — IV

This post continues with the splendor and dignity of merging mutual rewards into a successful marriage.

I can’t repeat this often enough: Sex does not bond men. However, investing himself bonds a man. Rewards earned keep him invested, because rewards encourage more of the same behavior. Excuses and denials discourage sexual episodes but not the male sex drive.

Pre-marital sex for a couple takes the crown off her marital majesty. It suggests others may have known her, implies she may be bribing him, and reduces reward-ability if they do marry. None may be fatal, but each weakens her holding power for a lifelong marriage.

For sex with her to be a reward, he has to invest himself. A small investment for sex with her may be somewhat rewarding, but does it make him want to live with her forever? A man’s devotion springs from actions, such as investing himself in something—hobby, woman, job? The greater his investment of himself, the greater is his reward.

Husbanding and fathering require rewards to keep a man loyal and dedicated. Rewards imply more to come, which keeps his attentions on the one providing rewards. Sex is not truly a reward unless conquest has been worked for, and subsequent events are encouraged and not reluctantly given.

In the end, the investment of his independence comes from withholding her ultimate asset until he makes the ultimate commitment of marrying her. It sounds so simple, but few relationship accommodations are more difficult.

The majesty, the splendor and dignity of sex? It rises with lifelong devotion and dedication to one another. It feeds off romantic intimacy, if the proper foundation was laid earlier.

665. The Muumuu Effect — Part I

I refer again to Einstein: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Throughout the conquest phase and even beyond, manly imagination more than knowledge about a female’s body improves her chances for whatever she’s after. (Knowledge should be translated as access visually or physically or both.)

Women dress to please themselves in hopes they will be attractive to men. Many lean too far toward the attractive and away from the pleasing. That is, they dress to please men instead of themselves.

The more emphatic this shift becomes in a female’s thinking, then the more skin that she exposes or erotic body parts that she spotlights. This results in two major disadvantages for her:

(1) The male’s objective is to disrobe her, and she thus helps with his primary mission of conquest. (She may want sex, but this also makes his thoughts about a relationship even more temporary. Men don’t keep pushovers very long, because they’re potentially easy for another man.)  

(2) Exposed skin and spotlighted erotic body parts provide knowledge, which makes manly imagination shift toward the next step of disrobing. (Knowledge kills imagination at each step in the disrobing process. The closer to naked she gets, the more his imagination shifts directly to sex and away from what he just accessed and whatever else she has to offer.) 

Such women play the male game, but are they rewarded well with masculine devotion and commitment? Some, maybe, but not nearly all.

Improving her odds comes with the conclusion tomorrow.

657. Keepers for Keepers — Assortment 20

• Some women believe in little, so they tend to believe whatever a man says. This makes them soft-headed. [19]
• Having unmarried sex with a man bonds her, but not him. This keeps her from objectively evaluating him as potential Mr. Right. [17]
• Providing sex easily, she acts as the seller before conquest. It’s her as buyer before the altar, and seller afterward that leads to marital permanence. [12]
• Males crown their natural aggression and dominance with violence, unless women tame, civilize, and domesticate them. [18]
• A woman thrives on her man’s devoted attentions, because it confirms her value and importance to him. [4]
• Nagging and criticizing a man don’t teach him to lather affection on her, because both alienate him. [18]
• First things first: A woman needs to obey her female nature to become extraordinary so a man will marry her for keeps. [17]
• Respect to, gratefulness for, and dedication pledged to and kept with one man inspires masculine fidelity, but it doesn’t guarantee it. [7]

655. Good News to Lift Female Blues — Part I

WWNH includes the benefits of the majority living the good Christian life. What’s in female hearts counts for most of the goodness in society.

• The Christian’s heart is softer for both women, who are naturally soft-hearted, and men who are naturally hard-hearted. Christian beliefs make both sexes more considerate of others, especially females, children, and mates.
• God loves us, when no one else does. By lifting him as the ultimate, we’re always loved regardless, and loved better than any mortal can love us. It’s our fallback position when others disappoint us.
• Love, devotion, and commitment are always unequal between giver and receiver. But Jesus Christ receives less than he gives, and we receive more than we give.
• Faith has no vacuum; it’s always full. Faith in Him replaces beliefs that are not always helpful for living with others or even oneself.
• We Christians know ourselves to be better than we deserve, which breathes gratitude into whom we are, and happiness follows gratefulness.
• Being saved by the grace of God, we’re as valuable to ourselves as we need to be. Sensing ourselves valuable in His eyes energizes our goodness, and we need little more than that to remain faithful.