Tag Archives: devotion

2108. Soft-headed Sally


Women aren’t born soft-headed. Modern females’ soft-headedness leads them away from their best interests, into easy manipulation by men, and into self-delusion about the man each woman hopes to capture.

Soft-headed Sally thinks wrongly that sex bonds a man. She accepts a man’s words instead of taking time to judge his actions. She fails to recognize that he fills a different role, once they have sex together the first time.

SHS makes herself worthy of him instead of the other way around. She fails to call his bluff, when he threatens to drop her for being “hung up” about yielding sexually. She cannot separate a good man for carrying responsibility for others from a good man for fun and games. She cannot turn away from the self-centered man full of himself and venomous words that reduce her self-esteem and self-image and mine her self-interest for ways to make his life better.

SHS may try but is unable to teach young daughters how erotic attire arouses men many years older and may attract and easily incline some to stalk or become less inhibited about kidnapping, rape, and murder.

She fails to recognize that respect for women generally and deeper respect for his woman are the foundation of a man’s love of her. She cheapens herself by offering sex without his firmly committed obligations.

SHS believes in little except what others tell her, and so she falls for anything a man offers. She shapes her moral well-being around temporary feelings and hopes. She abandons the character shaping and guidance provided by God, religious morality, and her heart and will power. She is short of affirming self-esteem, -image, and -respect, so she cannot identify the lack of those conscience-shaping factors in a man.

She wants her own man so badly that she teams up with any male offer. She partners with a bad man and when dumped picks up with another loser, and then another…. She shapes her feelings around and with whomever she associates. She believes men are who they say they are.

She believes she can change a man, once she captures him with sex. She lives with endless hope that sex bonds him to her. She thinks that men are like women in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together. She flaunts her co-dependency and faults her man when he has more important things to do. She too easily becomes jealous of the hold that his job has on him. That co-dependency is the enemy of their togetherness.

SHS calls herself victimized by drudgery when hubby fails to participate in household work, child care, and other domestic responsibilities and begrudges his independence from those things. And equal sharing of ‘drudgery’ is not enough. He should always do more. It’s not the work that puts her down but jealousy of his family role as lazy lounger when his workday ends. She can’t live with their different natures. The male nature makes a man satisfied with himself. After a completed day’s work, he turns to relaxation, rest, and restoration of energy for the next day. That, versus her female nature that urges her to brighten her tomorrows in spite of the endless string of things to do. He figures he does all he can today and will handle tomorrow whatever comes. She figures she has to plan/prepare for every contingency ahead; better to over than under prepare. Thus, SHS begrudges the side of her nature that directly supports her self-interest.

She is so caught up in romantic love that she lacks both knowledge and skill to generate a man’s enduring love for when romantic love fades. She assumes it fair and bonding to tell each other about their sexual histories, when she can do few things worse. It shrinks her uniqueness and fascination.

SHS fails to recognize that men evaluate her character and non-sex assets before they first have sex. Afterwards he pays less attention to what else she has to offer. (Hollywood and TV work diligently to hide this part of the male nature; they prefer to show the wishful but fruitless thinking of females. As a result, male dominance expands in the social and domestic arenas.)

She fails to comprehend that men as hunter-conquerors appreciate greatly that which fights back, must be wrestled under control, and ultimately yields to his courage, intensity, persistence, and imaginative design of ways to conquer. Sexual targets that do otherwise earn little or no respect from him.

She doesn’t know the steep price she pays for easily yielding sex the first time with him. Without making him work to be worthy of her, without testing him with everyday commitments, without making him spend time and effort in her company sans sex, she makes herself easy and his ego is not stroked with the joy of an earned victory. Easy-to-get sex earns her very little respect and even less holding power. Sex only satisfies his raw appetite. When his ego is deeply massaged by hunting and overcoming of all obstacles to conquering her, his self-respect, respect for her, and her holding power over him skyrocket. This still does not mean that he will stay with her, but she has no better form of insurance.

SHS cheapens sex by using it to capture men. This cheapens her. Men will hang around her until another sex target comes in view, and some may even go through the process of linking up, shacking up, and maybe marrying up. But, split up is not far behind the fade of romantic love.

Both Hard-hearted Hannah and Soft-headed Sally figuratively spit in the eye of their man. They feel pumped up with feminist theory and new ‘rights’ they now have, such as sexual freedom. Men buy into greater sexual freedom but not much else. Compensated with frequent, convenient, and unobligated sex, men go along for the ride. But, the ride does not include the respect, honor, devotion, and dedication that females expect to see from their spouse.

 

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2100. 7th Anniversary, Tempus Fugit


Seven years ago tomorrow I posted my first article as declaration of war against Feminism. I titled it “Feminism Indicted.” I copy it here as still appropriate and the birthmark.

——

  • Feminism Indicted: Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics in relationships. Its inherent virtue merely equalizes unhappiness for women seeking or living with a man.
  • Femininity Acquitted: Femininity is the philosophy of attractiveness for men, the creed of faithfulness with men, and the gospel of devotion to one man. Its inherent virtue civilizes men, balances male dominance, suppresses male aggressiveness, inspires men to prove their worthiness, and rewards men for acting responsibly as both husband and father.
  • Feminism discourages male adoration of women. Femininity inspires it. Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity praises manliness to get what women want.
  • Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it.
  • Anger energizes the politics of Feminism. Indirectness and modesty empower the cultural and domestic leadership of Femininity.

——

I started the blog with commitment to explain what women never hear and expected to post a few dozen articles. Now at 2100 I have become relatively devoted and intend to continue the mindset.

Those of you who comment make my duty more pleasant and enjoyable. Thank you.

 

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2099. Compatibility Axioms #541-550


541. Females are born hard-headed and soft-hearted. Males are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Her hard-headedness captures a man. Her soft-heartedness holds him. [199]

542. Romance to males means foreplay or prelude to it. Women define romance as what precedes foreplay. [199]

543. Women can enjoy masculine-style sexual freedom, but they eventually lose playing that man’s game. (Losing defined as inability to keep a man for life.) [199]

544. Commitment made before conquest fades or dies afterward, whereas a man’s devotion may dip a little after conquest but it returns. [200]

545. Everything looks and tastes better when you’re grateful. Finding reasons to be grateful for yourself and others simply brightens life. [200]

546. Selfishness interferes with gratitude, the absence of which causes unhappiness. [200]

547. A man’s devotion depends on his respect for a woman, which mostly floats on her wavy ocean of self-respect, exceptionalness as a female, feminine virtue, unique qualities, and likeability as potential mate. [200]

548. A man’s enduring love is built upon his respect for women generally and respect and likeability of one in particular. Need for her intensifies his devotion. [200]

549. After conquest a woman ceases to be a challenge, because a man’s most pressing goal has been accomplished. He moves on to his current mission in life, whether she’s his keeper or a dumpee. [200]

550. Modest attire sends the message she’s interested in long-term relationships. Immodest attire signals she’s interested in a man, period. [200]

 

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2086. Female Blessings at Birth — 85-87 Plus


The new project seeds continue at the end of each blessing. They are bolded. I cite her blessing as men might see it and add a man’s natural response. Your comments help.

Blessing approval continues. Agree with these?

85. I am grateful to be ‘wired’ this way. When I sit to eat a meal prepared by me or someone else, my mind becomes occupied by more important things than enjoying the food. So I don’t overeat. [Special credit to Marianne S. for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth. Guy adds: Her mind flashes to other things on her agenda, such as how to 1) brighten the next upcoming event or opportunity. 2) Stimulate conversation that affirms the eaters or whoever fixed the meal. 3) Find gratitude in having family or friends gathered together for a short while. 4) Find pleasure with herself for bringing two or more together. 5) Discourage daughters from eating too much. 6) Jump up to serve others. 7) Enjoy herself for having prepared the food. 8) Enjoy that the males of her family are satisfying themselves with her food, company, or both. 9) Confirm to herself that tomorrow’s schedule will come off better than today’s. 10) And ad infinitum. Consequently, with her mind preoccupied on other than directly pleasing her own taste buds, she eats slowly and lightly and appreciates that it’s normal, that she is made that way. Moreover, preparing food adds to her sense of importance. Eating eagerly and satisfyingly to please her taste buds—as men do naturally—adds to her proportions unnaturally. She inherits at birth the excellent insight and primal urge to enjoy things other than eating at meal time. Thus, the overweight that she sees on herself is a sign of past disregard of her feminine nature, particularly disregard by trying to copy men or compensate for frustration, boredom, or depression by heavy eating. She’s born to be naturally compatible, and changing her bridal shape to something else is unnatural and does not add to husband’s gratitude for their togetherness. Her blessing: She tends to avoid and not become overweight. His admiration: Her convictions guide her well, and I love her more for remaining the woman I married.]

86. I put myself at disadvantage if I approach men of interest first. Something inside disturbs my mind, even though men say they are flattered and other women encourage it. [Special credit to Screamstyle for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth. Guy adds: Men don’t expect it and don’t respect women that do it. It smacks that she’s desperate, because it brings her out of the cocoon of uniqueness that men like and expect to see. Female desperation discourages his initiative and prevents the development of manly respect. Men expect women to be independent and uniquely self-sufficient, which a man’s nature expects to last until he proactively turns her interests toward him. If she approaches him, she takes away his opportunity to earn her attention, which means he doesn’t much respect whatever attention she gives him. Her approach also takes away his opportunity to admire the effects he expects to produce. Provided, that is, if he’s interested in her for more than sex. Her blessing: She has patience and respect for men to do the right thing correctly. His admiration: She has self-respect, self-discipline, determination, and high expectations and probably high standards. I shall have to try harder.]

87. I am grateful that my instinct leads me to this. The natural organization of relationships calls for ‘us’ to come before him, him to come before me, and we come before others. (I wish that men would learn that part about “us to come before him”. My setting the example doesn’t seem the least bit contagious.) [Guy adds: Men don’t think ‘us comes before him or her, only women think that way. Either she comes before him or he comes before her. (I disregard the unusual in-between balance just to compare the norm.) She comes first means that he’s very devoted to her. He comes first means that he conquered her without investing himself very deeply in the process of respecting her and therefore wanting to please her endearingly. Men don’t love as women do, and women defeat themselves by expecting it. Think of man and man’s best friend. The more he cares for and pleases his dog with both treats and challenges, the more devoted he becomes to the dog. It’s much the same principle in courtship. His actions program his heart. The more he pleases and presents challenges to a woman in ways that satisfy him, the deeper his devotion grows, the more endearingly he seeks to share himself. If a woman seeks to assess a man’s love of her, let her evaluate his dedication to each of these: 1) His respect for her as person and woman (the foundation). 2) His devotion that pleases her according to his tastes and wishes (his investment). 3) His satisfaction with the way she fills her various roles in their life together (his dependence on her). 4) How her presence enlarges his self-confidence including in bed and public (his return on investment). 5) How her presence lifts his spirits and settles his attitudes (reward for good husbanding). Her blessing: She knows how relationships work, she’s the expert. His admiration: She’s wonderful because he doesn’t have to do it.]

As before, mark each item T or F with whatever comment you wish to add.

This is an old subject expressed a new way. The superior sex is the irresistible force pitted against the immovable object, the dominant sex. Men can be moved by one irresistible force: Indirect leadership built around attractiveness and natural blessings that empower women from birth. Men lack such influential abilities.

 

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2063. Signs of Devotion in the Dating Stage


At post 2055 Her Highness Cinnamon asked for details that reveal a guy’s devotion in the dating phase. That’s easy. There is none except his devotion to his interest and her devotion to her interest. However, there’s always the possibility of a man’s love at first sight. One of the first things that emerges quickly is devotion to her. It’s just an ‘automatic’ phenomenon. (Women don’t love a man at first sight; they just imagine it out of too much anxiety or hope.)

However, I see what Cinnamon is after. What signals a man’s worth to move into courtship and beyond? With apology to her, however, I think more benefit may come from citing things often overlooked by gals enthralled in romantic love.

Therefore, these ‘pointy fingers’ hint at or reveal the unlikelihood that a man’s devotion of almost any woman will develop. That is, red flags unfurl, stormy weather ahead.

  1. He resists or resents just about anything that pleases her. He pleases her only when he wants something. (Which reflects deep self-centeredness and probably selfishness.)
  2. He lacks thoughtfulness, respect, punctuality, reliability, politeness, or even awkwardness or discomfort in his attempts to charm her. (Awkwardness discloses uneasiness about doing something wrong, and so it’s a good sign.)
  3. He lacks appreciation for her humor, presence, patience, housekeeping, job or family obligations, attractiveness (above and beyond the sexual).
  4. He presents her with no evidence that he admires any features, traits, habits, or qualities about her. (Lack of admiration means he sees no virtues in her and men want to marry a virtuous woman.)
  5. He doesn’t please her in order to please himself. (This is tricky. He’s more invested in her when he pleases her to please himself.)
  6. He lacks interest to do what she sometimes wants them to do together. (Such lack of respect signals no foundation for his love.)
  7. He considers her attentions to him to be excessive and has no problem telling her about it. (If she nags about loneliness, she is the red flag.)
  8. He angers easily at her for little things. That is, he ticks off easily. (And you say, most men do. And I say, not if she’s important enough for him. He either values her above his temper or devotion is probably not in the cards. Admittedly, after they marry, couples learn that husband’s temper and devotion are not mutually exclusive like they should be in courtship when his self-control is part of selling himself to her. Wife has already bought into him.)
  9. He shows little interest in contacting her frequently and regularly. (He may have good reason and slowness of initiative should not raise a red flag. For example, it’s tolerable if he wants to keep him in her mind, but preferable if he wants to set her mind at ease.)
  10. He seems unwilling to respect and accommodate both her modesty and vanity. He can’t live with the fairness (normal man’s value) of being punctual to her tardiness fixing up. (In the natural course of things, her tardiness signifies that she’s the more important member of the courting arrangement. If not acknowledged by him, red flags unfurl and courtship is probably wrong for them.)
  11. He exhibits bad habits as she defines ‘bad’ without his showing interest to change just to please her. (Doesn’t mean he has to change at her request but to at least show honest and sincere effort to do so hopefully for the purpose of just satisfying her.)
  12. He prefers the company of buddies over aloneness with her. (IOW, she’s not as respected as his fun or socializing time.)
  13. He lets sex dominate his thinking when around her and when contacting her routinely. (The more prevalent his interest in sex, the less his true interest in her. How can I say that? People get what they think about. Thinking about it leaves less time and words for other things. Until pre-conquest sex with her is hugely secondary, he’s not very devoted to her.)
  14. He resists investing his time, effort, or money in her. He’s single-minded to be super-efficient in their relationship. To produce the most for them at least cost to him. (After they marry, he gets worse. He won her with frugality, he can keep her satisfied (man’s value) while he becomes more successful at it. It’s the man’s nature coming alive this way. He admires himself for every nickel saved. Unfortunately, she pays a huge price for his satisfaction and her inability to earn happiness for lack of resources with which to spread her gratefulness among others.)
  15. He gives too big rather than thoughtful gifts. (Trying too hard to impress her signals that he’s buying her off, which reverses their natural roles. It pushes her into the corner of becoming the seller (to keep gifts coming) rather than the buyer of whatever he has to offer of himself without gifts. Respect is not buried in gifts but in the intent behind the giving. Thoughtfulness reflects his respect much better than his gift. Am I right, ladies?)
  16. He keeps his schedule from her to prevent her knowledge, involvement, or ability to investigate. (It’s natural for men to thus protect their independence and tend to their own business in their own way. It’s a strong instinct proportionally related to alpha, beta, gamma traits.)
  17. He keeps his agenda mysterious and doesn’t even hint at what her role might be in his life if and when they get more serious or marry. (Unwillingness to address her role keeps her closer to the sideline in case he wants to jump out of the relationship. The absence of such thoughts corresponds with unwillingness to fully commit.)
  18. He seems to purposely make himself unpredictable to her. (To be predictable is to lose independence. Men not fully devoted to their woman try endlessly to retain their independence even in small ways.)
  19. He flirts with other women when with her. (Contrary to woman-think, routine flirting does not signify emotional infidelity. Men don’t recognize emotional infidelity as important, and they don’t or can’t empathize with women about it. Therefore, women have to be more direct and teach their man, Thou shall not flirt, period.)
  20. He fails to flirt and tease her tenderly, abundantly, and sincerely. (Then he has little or no interest in making her feel good about herself.)
  21. He shows more interest in other things and people than in her. (He’s just not that into her, is he?)
  22. He sends out signals that she interprets as his using her to advance his agenda. (Does she want to tag along with his agenda?)
  23. He dodges commitment except when tied to frequent and convenient access to sex—e.g., shack up—and dodges even more when marriage comes up. (The female heart is loaded with self-protective reasons to find fault in such a guy.)
  24. He uses words of commitment but doesn’t show actions that signify devotion. (Her heart know this. Words are temporary. Only devotion is permanent. Now, how does she go about helping the former become the latter? Be herself, trust her heart, and rely on her patience and indirectness.)
  25. He attaches little extra value to the ‘us’ side of their relationship. He just can’t truly make her more important than him in his value system. (It does not bode well for her future even if sweetened by his presence.)
  26. He proactively claims both intent and ability to make her happy. (His idea of her happiness is her responding favorably to his leadership. OTOH, if he’s truly into her rather than sex, he’s worried about keeping her (the present) more than promising things (the future).)
  27. He promises her the moon. It’s an indirect invitation to bed. (When men come courting with indirectness, they abandon their direct nature. Women like to hear but should not trust romantic promises. Don’t dump him yet. Wait for his actions to match his words.)

Now, obviously those behaviors are more easily detectable during courtship. But the symptoms can be detected in dating and should raise red flags.

Cinnamon, if this doesn’t respond sufficiently well to your request, let me know. However, I know you ladies read more good signs and red flags in your lives than I can ever imagine. I think reason to veto is more useful. Avoidance usually beats the cure. Women already know how to buy in when they want to believe their date is almost Mr. Right.

During the dating phase, women should look for behaviors that hint that he’s not likely to fit any of those pointed fingers. That is, he’s likely to grow in the direction that leads to devotion. It may, however, be courtship phase before those signs are certain enough in a dating woman’s mind so they don’t rise up and bite her. If her screening and judging stop before he walks to the altar, she has sold herself short.

 

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2017. Female Blessings at Birth — 25-27


It’s the ninth group and I’m grateful for your responses.

I continue taking the (currently 86) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination. (Bear with me and some confusions I may create for awhile. I’m in the process of renaming Default Attitudes as Female Blessings from Birth.)

Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or it’s something you learned during life, and so you have no reference point.

Where I explain or add, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me.

25. I grieve at the loss of a loved one with this firm conviction lodged in my heart. They would not have wanted me to have a single bad day of life if they thought their departure was the cause. [Guy adds: Recovery from grief arises out of setting new targets in life and forming new habits to hit those targets. You need to do it two ways: 1) Impose new actions on old behaviors such that you develop new habits—e.g., dress neater than you did before, eat less than previously, or fast one day a week in memory, and do it all as tribute. 2) Persuade yourself that your loved one would not disagree with your new habits and might even be pleased with your initiative to honor them. IOW, work off your grief by making yourself feel better about yourself for doing right things made right by you deciding the departed would be pleased with your tribute.]
26. I intuitively sense that ‘commitment’ is of the mind and mouth and not of the heart. I’ve confirmed in life that people—especially men—don’t truly obligate themselves with words as well as they do with deeds. [Guy explains: Actions that symbolize devotion program the human heart with devotion; words about devotion program the heart for sincerity at best but can disguise insincerity at worst. A person’s attitude reveals what likely resides in their heart but only their actions reflect it more accurately than words. Hidden agendas are much harder to disguise with actions than with words. Consequently, the best way to take the measure of a person is to judge from their attitude and character as made obvious by or easily presumed from their actions.]
27. I don’t really expect to get all the affection I crave, but better too little than too much. (My man may be short of providing all the affection I would like, but he provides enough and I’m glad our roles aren’t reversed such that I would be the one accused of giving too little.) [Guy adds: Too much affection shown by a man generates disrespect within the woman; he appears weak and therefore not good enough. Too much affection shown by a woman causes loss of respect by the man; she appears desperate and therefore weak or vice versa.]

Example for your response: “26-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

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2011. Female Blessings at Birth — 10-12


Fourth group and I thank you for offering your opinions.

I take the (currently 84) default attitudes for a test drive, to purify them with deeper analysis by more people. I request readers either confirm or deny each numbered item below with or without comment. To make it easier, I’m only posting three at a time.

Just reply to this article and identify each item by its number and indicate true/false. Accept each default as true to begin with. I will rewrite or delete as results of your analyses justify it.

True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life. If you learned an item during your life, try as best you can to determine if you actually learned it or just confirmed what already existed in your heart. [If learned or foreign to you, label the item False.]

10. I can convert the worth I see in others into value for my life and vice versa. [Editor says: She’s born to be adaptable, and mutual worth that is mutually appreciated breeds cooperation and confirms compatibility. Women, as the relationship experts, drive the compatibility bus.]
11. I depend on my husband by doing for him rather than expecting him to do for me. [Editor says: It enlarges her sense of self-importance to do for him, and he interprets it as respect and gratitude that he deserves. Reversed, ‘him doing for her’ all the time translates as his appreciation for her. Being appreciated is temporary to her and has little influence over events that add to her importance and shape her thinking about everything else. Consequently, she becomes much more influential when ‘she does for him’ rather than the reverse. She’s born to do it that way, the intuitive way.]
12. I don’t depend on my boyfriend. He does for me rather than me doing for him. [Editor says: It calls for the opposite reasoning of #11 above. His actions ‘doing for her’ program his heart toward devotion for her. Without actions to please himself for pleasing her, his heart doesn’t reprogram, his devotion doesn’t develop. Furthermore, conquest slows or stops his actions to please her to the same extent, because her yielding sex their first time together tells him that’s all he has to do. He now ‘owns’ their sex agenda so all is well in his world.]

Example for responses: “10-T (comments if given)” works okay to reflect your opinion of true to that one item.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

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