Tag Archives: discretion

296. Preventive Maintenance — Checklist I


Compared to men, women are relationship experts. They detect emotional cracks and strains long before their man.

This makes women best qualified for relationship maintenance, which effectively puts them in charge.

It’s easily understandable that whoever’s in charge should be responsible for preventive maintenance. So, a squabble-prevention checklist starts here.  

  Cooperation compliments each other.

  Competition challenges one or the other.

  Loose lips irritate.

  Blame inflames.

  Argument is counterproductive.

  Patience reduces tension.

  Discretion shows respect.

  Loving silence nags.

  Gratefulness seals a deal.

  Respect lets him defend her.

  Self outweighs Us.

  Changing him discredits her judgment.

  Two captains in one ship leads to mutiny.

  Tact works like WD-40 on a rusty hinge.

  Progress stops with loss of temper.  

  Submissiveness is an attitude of gratitude, whichever way it flows.

  Understanding balances A.D.D. (See post #3)

Prevention is the better part of valor. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  

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76. Her mushy thinking—Part 3


She provides easy sex before marriage. She gives away what she doesn’t have to. After marriage she withholds sex. For example, retaliating for her hurts, she displeases him deliberately. Whatever the reason, withholding herself weakens his sense of significance with her.

She elevates children to adult status, which demotes husband to subordinate status and moves him toward insignificance—his greatest fear.

She assertively rejects this advice gem of politics and negotiation: ‘Don’t complain, don’t explain’. Instead, she unloads with everything bothering her as it bothers her. Little discretion comes across as nagging.

She gives birth at all ages without father’s presence or commitment to help. She sacrifices her child’s father-balanced future on the altar of her female ego.

She tries to take more than she gives when negotiating some issue of greater importance to husband than to her. He may deserve such treatment, and she may win the battle. But their future together dims.

She makes maintaining her imperial nest more important than retaining her man.

She reverses this model and wonders why she loses: In dating and courtship women are buyers and men sellers. Men prove their worth in order to earn her. In marriage, women are sellers and men buyers. She proves her worth in order to keep him.

She admires celebrities or others more than her husband. Admittedly, for other reasons than how she judges him, but he still comes up short. It contaminates her wifely mind for permanency.

She vocalizes jealousy of her man’s job, hobby, or recreation. She thus primes his abandonment pump. He may be totally in the wrong. But her drumbeat hardens more than weakens his determination. As the relationship expert, she has other options, but her mushy thinking thwarts her.

She expects that he will respond to stimulants just as she does. For example, guilt motivates her to do something to relieve it. Men largely ignore guilt trips placed on them and easily handle guilt they lay on themselves.

She would rather be friends with her kids than essential to her man.

She favors her kids over his. If she can’t treat all kids alike, her blending of families will not be very successful. If she can’t trust her kids to the care and admonition of her husband, she married the wrong man.  

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