479. Keepers for Keepers — Assortment 16

Dear Daughter: Have you heard?

♦       Feminists begrudge the male ego, but the process devalues females more than it hurts men. [18]

♦       He perceives hardtoget as strong resistance to sexual conquest. This pushes him deeper into the role of seller and reinforces her for the buyer role. [7]

♦       The number one complaint of women is that their man doesn’t show enough affection. Showing affection is unnatural for males, so they must be taught. [18]

♦       Enduring love, if it’s to replace the romantic kind and not also fade away, requires her man’s respect that she earned early and continues to maintain. [7]

♦       Men are simple but direct. Women are complex but skilled for indirectness. There is very little room for her directness in the domains he calls his own. [8]

♦       Inspired by politics, Feminism, popularity of judging men harshly, and hopes of changing him, modern wives run a tab on husband’s inadequacies, weaknesses, and failures. He changes alright; it makes other women that much more attractive. [13]

♦       Highly emphasized modesty and two high and perky boobs blended with a non-sexual ‘in your face’ attitude delivered graciously can easily outweigh male dominance. [12]

439. KEEPERS FOR KEEPERS—Assortment 12

Dear Daughter: More nuggets for review.

♦ The earlier in life the better to teach males about romance. This makes teen girls critical in the development of romantic men. [8]

♦ Shapeless and excessively covered boobs shift manly focus to other women. [12]

♦ Romantic love, mostly based on infatuation and lust, does not require a man’s respect. Moreover, romantic love fades after a year or two. [7]

♦ Morality serves women, but men don’t need it. Mothers and other females must see that boys and men live within the moral expectations of women, or male dominance gets out of hand. [18]

♦ Men with a wounded spirit work harder to recover and do better. Women with a wounded spirit seek someone to nurse away their hurt. [4]

♦ Men desire females that other men have not had. With him, it’s beating out all those other guys. [7]

♦ Love to a man means showing respect and gratefulness for who he is and what he does, and that’s what he expects from a woman. [4]

♦ Love to a woman means showing attention and affection, and that’s what she expects of a man. [4]

♦ If she duplicates masculine-style sexual freedom, it makes her the subordinate player in a man’s game. [12]

♦ Hunter-conquerors highly value difficult targets. This makes hardtoget work. [8]

♦ Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity uplifts and honors manliness to get what women need. [1]

433. Response to Viewer — Item 1

Jessica prompted this post when she asked: “Other than gratitude…how does a woman show respect for a man?” Many posts address respect after marriage, so this is mostly for singles.

I had two short and one lengthy reaction. First, men don’t seek respect as women know it. They seek whatever confirms their self-respect. The difference is big.

Second, one doesn’t think about ‘showing respect’ for a man. One has it or not, and it shows in their attitude, which flows out of their heart.

My third response is more complex. Women can generate respect for men or a man in many ways. To do so, they should: 

♥ Respect men by doing what feminists condemn, so women might try the opposite of what feminists preach. (For example, see Dark Side of Feminism posts in CONTENTS page.)

♥ Exploit their natural female preference for indirectness and abandon whatever they may have picked up of the male preference for directness. Men prefer to figure things out compared to having them presented on a platter. However, indirectness requires patience and fails under ‘right now’ pressures.

♥ Recognize his dominance as dependable. It’s his nature, however much he reveals, and women can’t change it. By exploiting his dominance, a woman shows respect. If his dominance offends or appears unacceptable, then dump him.

♥ Identify domains in their relationship that the man claims as his responsibility. Don’t interfere there. Accept his leadership in those domains, and identify the domains left for her sterling leadership. Clarify responsibilities to eliminate confusion and conflict. (Women are the relationship expert and best qualified to accomplish this latter task. Honor his various roles, and it adds to his self-respect. He earned it.)

♥ Rely on him as important before marriage and vital afterward. He sees his role as producer, provider, protector, and problem solver. Her endorsements show respect. 

♥ Act independent and free of him before marriage. The harder a male works to capture a female, the more his self-respect grows with each step of progress.

♥ Act dependent on and beholden to him after marriage. Monogamous devotion and dependency on him shows respect. He no longer expects to have to earn it, because he earned the max before he married her. After marriage, her gratefulness for who he is and what he does is the indirect reflection of respect that he expects.   

♥ Compete with him before marriage but cooperate afterward. This role reversal is critical to catching and keeping a man. By her affirming and filling both roles, she broadcasts respect for him.

♥ Rely not on gratitude. It has limited effects, because men don’t need it like women do. Too eager expressions of gratefulness appear phony, and women try too hard and do this much of the time.

♥ Acknowledge this: She will know how to respect a man, after she learns how to keep one.

If she thinks about showing respect, she probably does wrong. She’s trying too hard. Showing respect reflects automatically from her attitude—that is, from her heart—and not from her mind.

423. Sex and fickle girl — Part 18

♥ Women tolerate men or things that embarrass them, disturb their sense of privacy or person, or call for them to act as guys do. Persistently avoiding and preventing such things generates female uniqueness, standards, and expectations that appear as virtue and respect to male eyes.

♥ Differences between a man’s words and actions disclose his hidden agenda regarding her—provided she has patience and braininess to detect differences.

♥ Deliberate delay of conquest forces males to suppress aggressiveness, weaken their dominant spirit, and please a woman habitually—unless they’re after sex instead of her.

♥ Male bashing in emails, koffeeklatches, and entertainment media imply or accuse men of domestic irresponsibility. The self-fulfilling prophecy works, and modern women face men they don’t care much about—promise-breaking boyfriends, lackluster husbands, irresponsible fathers, someone else’s ex, violent spouses.  

♥ Spiritual bonding ties a couple; it inspires both to live up to something higher than themselves. Sexual bonding affects only the female, and inspires neither to live up to something higher.

♥ Modern wives reject castle-building for their man. They enshrine themselves with him as prince consort to her as sovereign queen. Only wusses, feminized men, and political correctioneers stay long with such women.

♥ Modern women refuse to reward their man for husbanding and fathering—as men expect it. Inadequate seeding produces a poor harvest.

422. Chaste courtship works — Part 9

Delaying a man’s conquest and sustaining a chaste courtship serves females many ways. Girls experiment and learn; women implement and live with choices.

☼ She determines his worth to her. She focuses her attention on how he focuses his attention and trusts her feminine nature to weed out the trash.

☼ She captures his attention with attractiveness, but holds him with chastity. This enables a sharpening of common sense about his potential.

☼ Until they yield or unless they fail, women dominate relationships before conquest. Men move cautiously, even ease off their dominance, in order to avoid a no-score.

☼ Modern women discard advantages in favor of fun, games, popularity, or to have a boyfriend. They earn less respect, even though a man’s enduring love builds on respect—especially for the virtues modern females so eagerly throw away.

☼ Men drop unyielding women. They fear no score after investing their selves, which translates as insignificance. However, it’s not her, as women quickly conclude. It’s his adolescent mind in adult body—a poor candidate for marriage anyway.

☼ She can earn devotion beyond commitment, become more easily cherished, teach him habits for pleasing her, merge his interests with hers, and negotiate who rules in the various domains of marriage.

☼ She has time and opportunity to figure out what rewards she should provide for his husbanding and fathering if they marry.

☼ Her unyielding and unapologetic chastity forces attitude adjustments on him. This renders his unappealing traits and dominant character more acceptable. Else, his worth to her fades away.

Thus, she prepares herself to live with his character, energies, and dominance by melting their respective natures into a successful relationship.

304. Lifelong husbands—made, not born — Part I

Many complications muck up lifelong marriages in modern America. Five follow.

1.     The wisdom of the ages is lost. Women can’t learn from their moms, because their moms didn’t listen to their moms. It exploded four decades ago. Girls and young women rebelled and spouted slogans with revolutionary zeal: Don’t listen to anyone over thirty, Down with authority, Distrust parents, Ignore authority figures. We’re several generations deep now with women shaping their lives around these adolescent values. What one generation allows, the next practices.

2.     Men do whatever they have to do to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Because many women provide unmarried sex, men are encouraged not to swap independence for responsibility.

3.     The feminine nature presented with pride and charm appeals and turns men ON for female influence about helping fulfill a woman’s hopes and dreams. Our forefathers followed that model. But not modern men. Feminist politics, theory, and dogma turn men OFF for yielding masculine independence.  

4.     Men seek justice. Women seek equality. As women seek greater equality with men, they give up justice. The PC crowd—political correctioneers— destroy justice. PCers and feminists disconnect females from male empathy and sympathy. They reject the separate but equal roles that family life requires for mutual respect, harmony, success, and longevity.

5.     Morality serves women more than men. Women can use it, men don’t need it. Our Judeo-Christian cultural heritage serves women even better. It goes beyond morals to guide men and women into separate but equal roles in home and society. However, ideologies such as humanism, secularism, relativism, and elitism replace morality and religion with values that expand male dominance, serve males over females, and throw away what’s best for families.*

* See the Worldviews page for more about these ‘isms’.

284. The high cost of cheap sex — 12

♣  What one generation allows, the next practices.

♣  Living by high moral standards reinforces a female as right, proper, and courageous. Not living that way makes her easy prey for men.

♣  If she’s easy with sex, she’s of doubtful quality to the Marrying Man.

♣  Morality serves women and children much more than men. Highly moral cultural values make society female-friendly.

♣  Low morality energizes male friendliness and dominance.

♣  When morality declines, men operate with less female influence. They help downgrade social values further toward masculine interests.

♣  How females play the sex game dominates the lifestyle of males. Men keep trying to make frequent and convenient sex more easily available. The more loosely women play the game, the more men pressure for even more looseness.

♣  Men fill the power vacuum caused by women seeking masculine approval instead of holding up female-friendly values against male dominance.

♣  Females giving in to greater and greater male social pressure forces women to reshape the lifestyle of females and children.

♣  Men giving in to greater and greater female pressures forces men to reshape the lifestyle of males.

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 226, 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

264. From feminine mystique to feminist mistakes—Part 5

Allow me to personalize the male and female natures as Manhood and Womanhood. I wish to describe traditional America before the 1960s.

Womanhood capitalized on male dominance instead of tearing it down. She supported Manhood’s dominance of society (what people do), while she took over dominance of the culture (why people do it).

Womanhood’s goal: One reliable man to help fulfill her dreams for nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones. She sought stable marriage and family. She convinced Manhood to provide the wherewithal and do the hard labor. In return, she rewarded his husbanding and fathering.

She gained status and added personal stature by making herself very different and highly unique. She capitalized on gender differences and exploited the female nature. Her character was shaped around feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, marriage, monogamy, manners, virginity, virtual virginity, soft-heartedness inside and hard-headedness outside of marriage,  and whatever else would distinguish her from Manhood.

She taught daughters to mature first, love next, leave sex to marriage, and uplift manliness and masculinity as the way to fulfill female hopes and dreams.

In the process she earned Manhood’s unconditional respect for the female sex. The benefits grew through the decades. Womanhood changed cultural values and the social and domestic environments in such ways that the genders respected the opposite sex more than their own (e.g., my generation).

Womanhood developed American life into a family game. She emphasized separate but equal genders with cooperative rather than competing roles. In her eyes, good character and virtuous actions overwhelmed looks, interests, and words.

For over a century, Manhood was preoccupied on the job with technological and economic advancements. He dominated workplace and society. Gradually adopting wifely-inspired and family-friendly values, however, Manhood gradually yielded dominance of home and culture.

Family dominance was a toss up, but mostly it had the appearance of husband as head, wife as neck, and children as no more than adult-hopefuls. Womanhood accepted and parlayed this truism: Perceptions are reality, and whatever appears to be, is.

Manhood bought into the lifelong married life sought by Womanhood. Family responsibility guided husbands in the workplace and society. With laws, wealth, and leadership, husbands shaped America to his wife’s vision of family-centeredness.

Mutual respect grew as husbands implemented feminine values in society. Husbands in the workplace made America more family friendly. The beginning of the end, however, arose in the 1960s.

[More on old school America appears in posts 263, 238, 218, and 204 below. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following it.]