Women face unwanted sexual advances, and some egregiously offend them. Such men can be handled. (Not to include situations where physical abuse is a real threat.)
I offer the following scenarios to show how most men tend to react to certain pressures. Certain tactics have great impact on the male gender. For example:
♦ “Stop that.” Snap out these words unemotionally at the first unwanted advance. It’s not so much your words as shock and awe of you taking command of the situation and not providing more feedback.
Don’t act angry, don’t complain, don’t explain, and don’t answer questions he may ask in surprised innocence. Don’t stare him down if you work with or for him—he loses too much face to continue working well with you. Get away if possible or turn away and change the subject—let him save some face.
Let him figure you out. Confusion and mystery he can’t stand, and so his behavior will change. Probably a different approach in order to stimulate your feedback, but he should be far less bold and offensive.
♦ “Stop that.” Snap it out on second offense too and perhaps the third and even fourth. If hits differ in words, acts, or ideas, he’s testing his real world and how to succeed. If he offends in identical manner each time, it shows no sign of testing or backing off (see tomorrow’s post, 576).
As with first hit, withhold your feelings and opinions about him. Zero feedback shifts his thinking from ‘she can’t resist’ or ‘how do I succeed’ to ‘maybe it’s me’. Again, let him figure it out. If you smile, you defeat yourself.
If he figures out ‘maybe it’s me’, then new questions settle in his mind. This is first step to stopping advances from unwanted guys.
On the subject of what offends you, be silent. Anything he learns will be used against you. The next post deals with what to do if this tactic doesn’t work!