757. Response to Viewer — Item 21a

Her Highness Abigail prompted this article, when at post #751 she wondered that “…marriage seems like a raw deal for women.”

Of course it can be, but women are the relationship experts, so some blame attaches to them. They intuitively know how to manage and maintain a successful relationship. But that doesn’t mean they rely on their nature. She often ignores her man’s faults in courtship and then blames him as husband.

Also, for example, the wife can generate her own raw deal if she:

• Forgets that marriage predominantly serves mother and her children, but it has to be ‘bought and paid for’ by her as wife.
• Promotes equality over fairness in the home, e.g., dividing or expecting chore workload to be equal instead of settling for fairness to generate harmony. (Her relationship expertise endows her for success in knowing and settling differences, if she but drops any semblance of equality.)
• Determines the values to guide living in her home and negotiates requirements and expectations during courtship, e.g., church-going, raising kids, integrity, temporary separations, faithfulness, etc.
• Expects husband to be more like her or some other guy.
• Becomes something different than the gal the husband courted and married, or she expects him to become something different.

Raw deals are made and not born. Both he and she have coarse sandpaper to rub against sensitive emotions. But she’s better equipped than he to soothe the biggest irritations by feathering and nursing the edges into harmony.

P.S. Gold-diggers may have a better idea, as Abigail suggested, but they start with different objectives and values and end up with results different from what most women desire.

737. Gender Differences Revisited — Group L

1. Men know romance as whatever is required to initiate foreplay or sex. Women know romance as the attention he pays her when sex is not at stake.
2. Men demand physical faithfulness in their mate. Women expect both physical and emotional fidelity but especially the last.
3. Husbands that enshrine themselves at home stay at home. Wives that enshrine themselves at home grow bored with husband.
4. Men fight best and work hardest for what they believe in. Women fight best and work hardest for who they believe in.
5. Men see friendship differently. Women don’t fit a man’s mold of pure friendship, except when they are far removed from being a sex target.
6. Women get upset and cry to release. Men don’t get upset by their own admission. They get frustrated, angry, and shift into battle mode without tears.
7. Men resist change to their person and role, especially by a woman they have conquered. Women are much less sensitive and more flexible.
8. Men shape their lives around thinking, substance, actions, and accomplishments. Women shape their lives around feelings, family, appearance, and relationships.

559. He’s Wary to Marry — Section 4

Men see and hear too much of this to show much eagerness for marriage:

♦       She teaches or guides daughters about safe sex, expects them to experiment, and ignores the importance that deferred gratification adds to the maturing process. Fathers harbor contrary feelings.

♦       She just cannot be grateful for her husband doing what he’s best equipped and prepared to do—producing, providing, protecting, problem solving.

♦       She orients her thinking and feelings around harsh and loud and total self-centeredness, opposite to the female nature.

♦       She stresses her faithfulness to feminist ideology and political objectives.

♦       She tears down manliness and masculinity to uplift herself or get what she wants.

♦       She thinks about herself more than him and works with other women and what they should and can do.

♦       She offers unmarried sex after little more than chit-chat, and then after marriage complains about lack of foreplay.

447. VIRTUE—Magnet for Males—SECTION I

Women ‘read’ the inner man better than men read women. They may not do it well, but men read and interpret her in terms of virtue. This series explores how men do it.

Women misunderstand virtue as it works, and it spotlights an inability to deal more successfully with men. With most of the dots connected, virtue works as a male magnet. Some dots follow with others in later posts:

v Both sexes correctly consider virtue applicable only to females.

v Young women choose to associate virtue with sexual habits. Men see virtue as what she is beyond sex with him.

v To men, female virtue shines attractively. In the doses and varieties that particularly appeal to individual men, it helps captivate and energize them.

v To women, virtue makes a woman a better person.

v To men, virtue makes a woman attractive in mysterious ways.

v Good quality of character makes a man a better person (and substitutes for masculine virtue).

v Standards of virtue are defined by the expectations of individual males, except that unmarried chastity and married faithfulness top almost everyman’s list.

v In the female mind, standards of virtue apply to making and keeping relationships.

Virtue characterizes many facets of life. The next post describes how men appreciate a female by her attire, grooming, attitude, and behaviors.

319. The high cost of cheap sex—13

Cheap sex to males means no permanent obligations. The easier the conquest and escape, the cheaper the sex.

·        Cheap sex turns mature men into teen-minded boys. The things women consider vital have much less value to adolescents—personal responsibility, faithfulness, marriage, family, dependability, truthful promises of commitment, reliable pledges of devotion, adherence to vows.

·        By cheapening sex, women cheapen themselves. Relatively, this makes males more powerful, dominant, independent and, therefore, valuable in society.

·        Males made more valuable force women to compete with each other, to make themselves more worthy for men. Hunks profit from quiet patience, as women fight over them. This reverses the natural way of men competing and making themselves worthy of a woman.

·        Sex outside of marriage gets ever cheaper as men grow more dominant relative to women. More eager to look elsewhere even when committed to someone.

·        Unmarried sex doesn’t provide what men naturally seek in a woman—if he’s to be permanent in her life. So, he has little sense of permanency. This makes him unreliable for faithfulness to her.

In the final analysis, men do whatever women require for frequent and convenient access to sex. And, unmarrried sex requires no loss of independence.

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 284, 226, 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

302. Her sexual history — Part 09

♂?♀  Her faulty reasoning: She seeks a man’s empathy or sympathy about her ex. Whatever she gains will be lost as he ponders about or imagines her sex with ex.

♂?♀  Uncovering her sexual history is masculine due diligence. Men want to know, but least is best.

♂?♀  Knowledge is vital to his future interests. What should arouse his suspicions? How can he estimate her potential and confirm her faithfulness? How should he react when encountering men who have laid with her?

♂?♀  Feminine intuition tops full-disclosure. While not easy, women have the skills and expertise to hide who, what, when, where, why, and how of what he doesn’t already know.

♂?♀  Former relationships may be known to her man, but no mention should be made or details disclosed. It’s taboo.

♂?♀  Women should plan and develop non-disclosure tactics long before a relationship begins.

190. The high cost of cheap sex—Part 09

♀ Round heels inspire masculine performance without satisfaction of meeting a manly challenge.

Shaping the minds of adolescents especially, Hollywood and TV create assertive female roles to out-conquer the male for sex. For example, sight of him clicks her passion switch, and she undresses him. Desperation and eagerness flood the screen. It’s fun for wishful viewers—but believable role models? Real life operates much differently and adolescents especially miss these messages:

·        Men appreciate cheap and easy sex. But, they don’t much value unearned gifts.

·        Such female behavior cheapens a man’s conquering spirit. It denies him opportunity to prove his manly worth by other than sexual performance.

·        It makes her exciting for sex, but too eager and, therefore, too loose for a man to expect her faithfulness.  

·        Being given what a man expects to be a challenge turns him toward a true challenge.

·        The female nature intuitively guides mature girls and women away from such extreme behavior. They know something else is better for them.

♂ Though not as women expect, casual sex energizes men. If she’s that free and easy, then pursue the next score, notch the bedpost, and go after more.

[More about cheap sex appears in posts 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

154. Chaste courtship works—Part 5

♀ Before their first sex together, without trying, women condition a man’s thinking about who dominates whom, when, how, and what’s tolerable. They both learn how much she can weaken, suppress, manhandle, or overrule his dominance—or collapse as easy prey from lack of purpose and character.

♀ If she conquers him for marriage before sex, it signals that devotion to her governs his commitment. It also diminishes both his dominating and conquering spirits. This doesn’t guarantee faithfulness, but it provides much safer alternatives for her than sex before marriage.

♀ Sex does not bond men, but the opportunity for conquest conquers his attention and holds it tightly until a woman gives in. This facet of his nature helps virtual virginity work for her.

♀This puts the courtship agenda in her hands: (1) Her hard-headedness prevails over both her soft-heartedness and his hard-headed and hard-hearted persistence for sex. (2) She tests and retests him to be the potential right man for life together. (3) She continues to reject sexual relations at least until number two is proven and engagement or preferably marriage follows.

♂♀ The curse of modern adolescence is this. Girls too highly value boys and having a boyfriend. More so, in fact, than they value feminine, modest, moral, female-empowering, and self-protective behaviors. When boys butt their hormone-soaked heads up against the brick wall of ardent feminine values, it teaches girls the well-hidden truths about the male nature and how to avoid future life as some guy’s ex.

[More about chaste courtships appear in posts 143, 108, 107, and 100. Scrolling down works and so does searching by the number with a dot and space following.]