1826. Sex Difference Redux—Part 74: Women are Born, Men are Made

The child becomes the adult. Girls are born with natural tendencies that boys lack. Boys and even adult men require development by females if they are to measure up to womanly expectations. For example:

1. Girls learn right, wrong, and obedience more easily and younger than boys learn it from mothers, fathers, teachers, and preachers.
2. Girls slip easily into acting civilized, but boys must be calmed and taught.
3. Girls ease smoothly into family life by anticipating what’s needed and what’s coming. Boys have to be taught to respect others’ interests by honoring their standards and expectations.
4. Girls socialize more easily and depend on others for guidance and help. Boys care little for socializing except with buddies, until they finally bend under social norms and pressure from girls and adults.
5. Girls unconditionally respect others regardless of sex. Boys respect males much more readily than females. They usually must be taught to respect authority-figure females such as mothers, grannies, and teachers.
6. Girls can easily respect others before others earn it. Boys tend to challenge others first and then respect them after they earn it.
7. Girls anticipate and become obedient quickly, especially when father cherishes their preciousness. Boys learn through experience and fathers are the most effective at defining lessons that should be learned.
8. Girls accept and honor parental lessons much more easily and younger than boys. Weaknesses and inconsistencies of parental leadership confuse boys and manifest as masculine immaturity in the teens and adulthood.
9. Girls inherit this dilemma. Boys are born with little or no understanding or acceptance of the promises held for men by domestic home life. Nor about how women view and expect domestic home life to proceed. Men are no more capable of idealizing home life up to womanly standards, or even adjusting to it, than what they witness growing up. Not that they are incapable but their sense of dominance must be harnessed just to consider wifely options, druthers, and expectations. (It makes virtual virginity so valuable when trying to capture and hold manly attention.)
10. Girls have to earn the respect of boys. Prepubescent boys learn by being taught to respect sisters and authority figures. After puberty, teen girls earn masculine respect according to how well they protect sexual assets against the desire of boys. Rejection displeases boys and repeated refusals teach that limits exist in spite of boyish smooth talk and girlish dreams of eternal love. Continual frustration starts the process of boys learning of love for one woman. It’s the best way that girls tame boys to think in terms of monogamous love and family responsibility. (Having sex immediately gratifies two teens; deferring
    sex gratifies the sisterhood by teaching boys they can’t always have their way and must earn a woman’s heart.)

Wives inherit the final burden of getting husbands to see value in their home. Harmonizing family relationships and sustaining husband’s castle image does it best. Women are born with the ability but men are not.

The sexes differ greatly from birth. Females are in charge of building monogamous compatibility, because they gain the most from it. Mothers inculcate, teen girls tame, single women train, and wives domesticate males to live up to womanly expectations. Men who don’t receive such development end up doing something other than what women expect and appreciate.

1393. Father’s Unconditional Love

The personal care and love of children is alien to the male nature. It’s an acquired behavior with three likely sources: It’s taught in childhood, exhibited to be more attractive to women, learned through pride about what his seed produced, and more likely all of the above. It makes conditional whatever love arises for children in a father’s heart.

However, just as with the rest of us, the self-fulfilling prophecy works to turn the love of some fathers into unconditional love. For it to happen, men learn certain things that come naturally to females:

• Mothers during upbringing soften sons’ natural hard-heartedness. Boys learn that they can feel better about themselves when they care more than just passively for people who can do nothing for them. They are taught, best by example, to live within this cardinal principle: Others below them in life’s ‘pecking order’ deserve the unconditional respect that they expect from people higher in the pecking order. (That principle is the foundation upon which boys and men learn they can feel better about themselves by caring for others. Such ‘tenderizing’ of male hard-heartedness occurs mostly in toddlerhood and ends with puberty. They learn through adolescent experience how to balance their natural hard-headedness with their learned behavior of caring about others.)
• Boys learn and as men they accept biblical commands about loving others and cultural expectations that fathers care for and love their offspring. They understand it to be very helpful in raising children successful to both themselves and the world in which they live.
• To avoid anticipated censure, many fathers honor cultural values about family responsibility. They learn from their own fathers, taught best by example, to step to the plate and swing for the fences in providing and protecting their family. Children, whether bio or adopted, are automatically assumed to be the weakest members and in greatest need of respect for who they are and not just for what they do. Oftentimes children enjoy greater respect than their mothers, but it’s a reflection of her having not earned or lost respect of their father, and the parents have consequently moved into some competitive and unstable relationship.

With those preconditions, a father’s love shown conditionally over time may not stay conditional. The natural self-fulfilling prophecy phenomenon works through his caring and loving actions to program his subconscious, and unconditional love arises in his heart. The more devoted he shows and dedicatedly proves his conditional love, the sooner it morphs into the unconditional kind that enables him to disregard all the conditions that previously limit his love.

1253. Caught in Trap of Her Making

If a woman doesn’t provide sex after one or a few dates, modern men tend to send her back to the recycling pool. They blame her ‘hang ups,’ and she interprets it as guilt. Not always slowly either, she comes to think that men are right. She will succeed better if she yields soon or at least sooner. Thus, she sets the trap for herself.

Her loneliness, angst, or desperation triggers the trap. She falls victim to infatuation, lust, or romantic love but they are short lived. The magnet of her sexual assets inevitably weakens. Men dump her but its worse. Her psyche takes terrible hits. She did but he didn’t bond as she hoped he would. She springs the leaks of a thousand guilts.

Millions of women fall for that two-pointed scam perpetrated by advocates of masculine-style sexual freedom. Men don’t complain. They’re compensated. They play around in the field of lust, infatuation, and romantic love. Then, when they tire of one woman, they dump her at the cleaners for a press job, guilt reinforcement, and pick up by another guy.

Dominance of cultural values thus shifts from females to males, from relationship stability to instability, from other-centeredness to self-centeredness, from family responsibility to player mentality, from female-friendly to male-friendly standards and expectations. All brought on by abandonment of No Sex without Marriage as a predominant cultural imperative.

Now enthused to almost exclusively pursue sex, men are more eager when its easily available and more deliberate when women ration sex with high standards for yielding. When a man must spend many more dates with a woman to get her into bed, it forces him to pay attention to her other attributes so essential for his respect and love. He is not so easily freed up to hunt and conquer someone else. When Womanhood fails to uphold higher standards, men do whatever makes their job, life, and relationships simpler and easier. And each woman feels trapped in a web of convenience that favors men.

907. Gender Differences Revisited — Group Z

♫      Guilt rises in her mind much more readily and easily than in his.

♫      He says: “These things can be a little better.” She presumes he means: “These things can be perfect,” or “You screwed up again.”

♫      Women thrive with intermixing and multi-tasking. Men thrive on dividing life into work time and leisure/family/friend/play time.

♫      Men compete with men naturally but avoid competing with women. The female psyche mystifies, and men are not comfortable trying to outwit it. Women follow their strengths too, but their blessings are bundled around cooperation more than competition.

♫      Men respect, favor, and thrive on producing things in life and dealing with challenges. Women respect, favor, and thrive on the processes of life and dealing with people.

♫      The female inclined to be dependent lives more easily on faith. The more independent nature of men pushes them toward action and evidence more easily than faith.

♫      She persuades him indirectly. He judges her indirectly.

♫      Men primarily honor authority figures they fear or respect; it’s their competitive world in action. Women primarily honor authorities and institutions that call for faith and trust, such as God, government, education, and organizations built to deal in compassion; it’s their cooperative world in action.

♫      Men allow beauty to do whatever beauty can lead to. Women promote beauty for all it can produce.

♫      Women lack this drive: Men with a strong sense of family responsibility, even when jobless, have an urge in the morning to go someplace outside the home. It’s a reassuring habit and can ease doubts he may have about his significance.

774. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 3

SWAP-MEET

·        No matriarchy has arisen or replaced patriarchy over the past 7,000 years. More recently, feminists tried and failed to turn patriarchy into an abbreviated matriarchy. Those historical facts suggest women will be eternally blessed and made hopeful by male-dominated, wealth-building society.

·        The question then pops up: How do women capitalize on what they face? How do they balance their interests with those of men? Before Feminism came along, our foremothers intuitively knew how. The answer squirts out in this misty spray: Women depend on, use, and exploit men in society and around the house. (Some details tomorrow)

·        Our foremothers exploited this expression: ‘The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world’. They understood that well-raised, well-masculinized, and well-civilized boys start the process by which men learn to give up their independence in favor of family responsibility.

·        Under that Womanhood-woven and feminine banner, moms civilize boys, girls tame adolescents, husband-seekers tangle and tie up men in platonic relationships, and wives domesticate husbands. Women and not adolescents set the standards and expectations for younger females. Ladies lead by example.

·        Under nurturing leadership by moms and other ladies, most females bonded around one particular theme. I don’t imagine it was phrased this way, but the actions of Womanhood produced and promoted this cultural value: Providing unmarried sex discourages males from yielding their independence and accepting family responsibility.

·        Intercourse events outside of marriage were countless, but mature women centered their soft-hearted kindness on children, their own husband, and their family. They used their hard-headed nature to handle others and especially to keep men in their place. It all came together over many decades to make our culture much more female-friendly and stabilize society with the family as primary institution.

·        Before social disturbances in the 1960s reversed the trend, our foremothers had learned to convert men from bachelorhood to marriage. Stable family life was in vogue. They achieved equilibrium with this arrangement: Husbands dominated society and the workplace. Wives dominated the culture and the home. (Society is what we do, and culture is why we do it.)

Chapter 4 tomorrow cites the details mentioned in next-to-top paragraph.

589. Dark Side of Feminism — Part 24

Feminism’s theoretical, political, and economic pressures seduce women into thinking the worst about male nature while asserting or assuming female near-perfection.

♦       It hardens the female heart against the male gender and fools it about females. How does that brighten the future for the individual female trying to convince one man that she knows best about their relationship?

♦       Feminism inspires women to compete with men at all levels and times. Competition may work outside the home but not within where her hopes and dreams come alive.  

♦       Feminist pressures program females to expect that tween boys should civilize themselves, teen boys should behave themselves, bachelors should tame themselves, and husbands should domesticate themselves. Women conclude that males should behave as females do and do what’s right according to female values, standards, and expectations.

♦       Feminism ignores the true, dominant, but indirect power of females and their various roles. Mothers nurture infants and indoctrinate toddlers with right and wrong. With mom in lead role, parents teach tweens to use obedience to their advantage. Teen girls use adolescent tactics to teach boys about adult female expectations. Single women shape unmarried social scenes. Wives domesticate husbands. Those are powers our foremothers developed by exploiting the Judeo-Christian culture that men produced to help fulfill female hopes and dreams. Our forefathers knew the best for women and children was also best for them.

The reality today: Relative morality supersedes right and wrong as measure of social justice. Men are not inclined to capitalize on the virtue of obedience and consequent self-discipline. Teen girls are not only dominated but exploited by teen boys, and girls do nothing different. Single women shape the unmarried scene with sexual freedom that threatens all marriages. Husbands are not deeply dedicated to family responsibility. It’s all the legacy of Feminism.

548. Femmy Secrets Promote Harmony — # 1

This series highlights practices and habits that produce female advantage or prevent relationship reflux.

♫     She bases her love around his masculine values, rules, and expectations that help fulfill female hopes and dreams and particularly hers. (It sounds anti-female, but it fulfills a primal urge to brighten her future.)

♫     She trusts more than suspects, offers friendship warmth instead of co-dependency, and extends loving appreciation for instead of direct involvement in every little decision he makes.

♫     She cooperates with her man in his domain, so she can dominate in her own.

♫     She encourages her man to improve his sense of personal and family responsibility. She indirectly tells or suggests WHAT to do and lets him determine the HOW and the TIME. Patience energizes his conscience about pleasing her.

♫     She endorses ‘how one plays the game’ as vital for mentoring children into maturity and minimizing the seriousness of marital disputes. ‘Winning is everything’ applies only to males and outside the home.

♫     She resists the male conquering drive to earn greater respect—the precursor of a man’s love. She further delays conquest throughout courtship in order to confirm his devotion and solicit firm obligations.

485. DATING 2: Dateless Sex

♦       They may be 18, but boys and girls go off to college. Fraternity and sorority life tend to keep them boys and girls for several years. Dateless sex further delays maturation of both sexes.

♦       Boys don’t date college girls for one simple reason: They don’t have to.

♦       Girls hang out with the guys to have masculine companionship and compete with each other for the hunks. They party according to the males’ agenda. Girls willing to follow the male agenda lose the respect, dignity, and uniqueness so essential for boys to ask them for dates.

♦       College girls go along to get along. Doing so, the college boys conclude that even those with whom they can’t score are still pushovers for someone else. Ergo, the gender is easy and cheap, if a guy just pushes the right buttons. The lesson bodes ill for marital fidelity later.

♦       Dateless sex prevents finding compatibility in long term interests. He doesn’t want a girl so easily laid, so lacking in the virtue that he holds dearest—aka to go where others have not gone. Booty perhaps, but not a girlfriend or wife that screws or fellates buddies, acquaintances, frat brothers, or their friends.

♦       Who’s left on campus virtuous enough for a man’s investment of Self for marriage? Also, who’s left to help condition a college boy’s thinking into that of a mature man eager to assume family responsibility?