Tag Archives: fathers

710. Make Mr. Promiscuous Faithful — Part 4


To recap: Conscience is a function of respect for others, and that’s a reflection of how others respect us. Let’s continue with the man.

  • Males must be conditioned to be faithful to one woman. The male nature knows no conscience about spreading seed. Either female-driven Nurture compensates for Nature’s shortcoming in his formative years, or wives and families pay for the consequent oversupply of unfaithful men.
  • A man’s admirable conscience grows from the infusion of morality, respectability, and mutual respect exemplified by parents and other adults. The absence of such things produces a less admirable conscience.
  • Toddlers are first, because their mind has opened and self-interest starts to develop. They learn to respect others by being shown respect for whom and what they are. To greater but varying degrees, the same continues with tweens, teens, and adults.
  • After entering adulthood a man’s conscience changes little except in response to traumatic events, the most glorious being acceptance of the Lord into his life.
  • Guys treated poorly by females in their life tend to smother their conscience and sometimes squelch it entirely. Guys treated respectfully turn out quite differently and much more reverential of women.
  • Mothers are better able to show respect for children than fathers. They have different natural roles in rearing children. Females focus on teaching right and wrong; males focus on obedience.
  • A man’s formative years determines what a woman has to build on during courtship. The more diligently and unanimously respected as a male by mother, grannies, sisters, aunts, teachers, and girlfriends, the more indelibly a man’s conscience becomes conditioned against mistreating females.
  • In principle, when the females in adult life duplicate or improve on those of his childhood, he’s likely to be faithful. When they don’t, he sees less reason to remain faithful, because his respect weakens.  

In the final analysis, a man’s faithfulness rests on this foundation: He respects the female gender more than his own. Building on that foundation, each woman has a role to fill. That’s tomorrow.

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590. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 33


  • Women specialize in hope, because it brightens the future. Men specialize in determining respect due to others, because it determines much of what happens today.
  • Wives hound husbands to become more considerate and better fathers. Men become better fathers, when they are treated as better husbands.
  • Women do more to earn gratitude than to earn respect. Men do the opposite.
  • Sleeping with married men not their husband stabs all women in the back. Sleeping with a married woman not his wife stabs only one man in the back. (Thanks to Princess Dogsandfitness for the first half of this.)
  • Women work better with words than numbers, whereas men are opposite.
  • Men are fascinated by storms, and females fear them.
  • In a breakup she wants to know about the other woman, about her competition. Her anger prevails. He wants no discussion, no talk about infidelity. It disappoints her, highlights his guilt, and men dodge guilt whenever possible.
  • She accepts guilt readily. He doesn’t and is more complex. (Details at article 561)
  • She’s a love machine. She loves and makes it work. He’s a work machine. He works and turns it into his love.

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565. Response to Viewer — Item 11


I dedicate this series to Her Highness Katrinka. She asked “Why is it so hard for fathers and sons (specifically grown sons) to be close?” I cite the father mostly, but mother plays a more critical role than included here:

  • Being of independent nature, men receive no reassurances from being close to one another as women do. So closeness has to be generated over time.
  • Father and son compete as do all men. Their competitive relationship forms in the tweens and solidifies in the teens.
  • Men don’t change much, unless they get saved. So, how they get along in early compete mode determines how they relate later.
  • Leadership can vary greatly, but absence of both respect as a person and trust that matches maturity level breeds an unwilling follower.
  • Throughout childhood, hold him back and earn his scorn. Help him along and earn his desire to belong. 
  • When father pays little or no attention to son’s upbringing, mother has too much influence. She’s reflects or expresses disappointment in father to the son, and he takes up her offense. 
  • Helicopter mothering prevents son learning from mistakes and failures. It leads to lack of both self-respect and self-confidence, which conflicts when father has those traits to spare.
  • Mother elevates son over father; she treats him as adult rather than child. Son shows no respect for father, because he learned he can be equal while acting like a child.
  • Trust and respect for father can easily be killed by son’s bio mom and bitter ex-wife of father, especially when son is in the tweens living with her. 
  • A son continually aims for independence, declares it, and expects it without argument soon after puberty. If father fights and suppresses this drive along the way, bitterness arises and follows later in life.
  • When father leads uncertainly, unpredictably, distrustfully or with whims, temper, and anger, then son’s disrespect grows proportionally.
  • If father suppresses son’s growth toward independence, son resents hell out of it and bitterness may well follow for life.
  • If father lets son outcompete father in decision making, repeatedly outwit or beat down father to get or do what son wants, or let’s son get too independent too fast for his britches, disrespect develops and lasts for life. 

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559. He’s Wary to Marry — Section 4


Men see and hear too much of this to show much eagerness for marriage:

♦       She teaches or guides daughters about safe sex, expects them to experiment, and ignores the importance that deferred gratification adds to the maturing process. Fathers harbor contrary feelings.

♦       She just cannot be grateful for her husband doing what he’s best equipped and prepared to do—producing, providing, protecting, problem solving.

♦       She orients her thinking and feelings around harsh and loud and total self-centeredness, opposite to the female nature.

♦       She stresses her faithfulness to feminist ideology and political objectives.

♦       She tears down manliness and masculinity to uplift herself or get what she wants.

♦       She thinks about herself more than him and works with other women and what they should and can do.

♦       She offers unmarried sex after little more than chit-chat, and then after marriage complains about lack of foreplay.

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490. Wifely Success — Part III


This post completes the response to Princess Jessica and Princess Tamara. They inquired about it, but there is no PROPER way to balance home and work life, except as individual women make choices and succeed. These cause and effect tips may help.

©     Husband will not play second fiddle, especially not to kids, pets, and even wife’s job. He married to play first fiddle, period.

©     Wives want to hear words of affection, gratitude, and confirmation of their value. Mistakenly, they think men are the same. Husbands want to be respected and confirmed as significant, but in actions and not words.

©     A man only needs a hut, but a woman wants a castle. She can get it by crowning him king and treating him royally. Or, she can learn to like their hut and soon tire of him.

©     A man will consider his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego restricts her from treating him that way, because she’s naturally driven to dominate her nest and their home. If she refuses to treat him royally, however, he eventually looks for an escape hatch. 

©     A wife’s expectations about fairness and equality in housework compete against husband’s hormones. If she wins, over the long haul he becomes more temporary.

©     Fathers withdraw from parenting when not respected and upheld as good father by the mother. Mothers not upheld as a valuable and appreciated mother get rid of father—in spirit if not actually.

The other posts in this series were 486 and 488.

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229. Sex and the fickle girl—Part 10


♀ Women can access sexual relations at whatever speed, frequency, and convenience they desire. Men can’t. So who wins when women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom? Who loses as enabled men flit blossom-to-blossom?

♀ If she can’t risk being dumped to slow his inevitable conquest, she’s highly vulnerable to being dumped later.

♀ Modern women rely on sex, hope, and loving affection to bond their future with a man. But short relationships show it doesn’t work very well.

♀ Women don’t just want men to bond. They want a husband as bond servant to help with housekeeping, child care, constant togetherness.

♀ Women dress their young daughters like hookers and allow adolescent girls to dress likewise—even in church. Pastors stew in near silence. The Marrying Man looks for someone else. Respectable fathers shake their head in exasperation.

♀ Women are not hunters by nature. Yet, some abandon the female persona, hunt with erotic attire, and offer sex with little obligation. When they fail to enjoy life as men do, ennui and depression set in.

♀ Women expect to kiss a frog into prince hood. Men expect their woman to elevate them from prince to king. Modern women fail to provide this second ‘promotion’.

 

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

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185. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 11


♂ Women claim the honor, but a man’s work is never done: Thank you, Darling, for doing that. Thank you, Honey, for doing this. Thank you for listening. Thank you for cooking. Thank you for being there. Thank you for…. And also, Sorry about that. Sorry I didn’t think. Sorry I offended. Sorry….! I’ll do better…. Let me do that. Can I help?

♂ A couple’s life includes relationship management. To men, relationships require no management.

♂ The males’ hunter-conqueror nature values and respects hard-to-conquer targets far more than easy, round-heeled pushovers.

♂ Husbands treat their wives as their fathers respect and value their mothers. If not, father set a bad or no example.

♂ If a woman helps a man build his castle, he primarily judges her effectiveness by how she supports what he does at work and play. He takes her support inside for granted.

♂ If he won’t modify his habits in order to please her before they have sex, he sure won’t do it afterward.

♂ If attracted to a woman he respects or has not conquered, a man’s good side emerges. If his bad side shows up, and she can’t turn it around, he lacks respect for her. All men have both sides.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

 

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