1770. Sex Difference Redux — Part 24: Love VII (w/ Kathy Petersen)

Absence of Father

The subject remains that of men showing love and affection to women. As you expect, the sexes raise boys very differently. The two preceding parts describe how childhood affects the way that men love and show affection to the women in their lives. Quite often, however, boyhood development is stunted by two parental sins. (1) Absence of father as role model and disciplinary intimidation and (2) mom’s excessive nurturing a.k.a. micromanaging son’s life. Today, we’ll examine some red flags that result from the absence of fathers. Tomorrow, it’s helicopter momism.

The following symptoms often flow out of the absence of a father figure. A boy or man demonstrates or exemplifies:

• a weak sense of personal responsibility,
• unreliability for providing/protecting,
• fixation on sex as primary and perhaps only vehicle of love,
• lack of respect for the female gender and authority figures,
• inability to devote to one human love object,
• lack of loyalty toward love objects, even inanimate ones such as religion,
• expectation that his woman serve and bow to his wishes,
• refusal to help lift wife’s obvious burdens, and
• being extra-guarded about true emotions.

Abandonment, separation, and divorce have many causes. We could spend hours on the causes of absent fathers. But this subseries is about love and affection of males to females, so I shall stop here. Tomorrow we’ll examine another aspect of boyhood that often goes sour, either when the father is physically or just mentally absent about raising children.

709. Make Mr. Promiscuous Faithful — Part 3

Before we get to wife’s role, let’s explore her first line of defense: husband’s conscience. Like the rest of us, husband wants to feel good about himself and preferably all the time. Conscience alerts him when he shouldn’t or doesn’t.

• Definition: Conscience is the internal message center that backs up the respect we have for our self and others. It provides the uh-oh when we violate our self-respect, respect for others, or both. Weak respect, weak conscience. Strong respect, strong conscience.
• Conscience is the debt we owe to those we respect, including Self. He creates a guilty conscience, when he offends those he respects. Offense without respect stirs no guilt.
• The stronger is one’s conscience, the more earnest the motivation to both prevent and restore lost respect for others and Self. A weak conscience does little to curb husband’s cheating. A strong conscience helps him cope with the natural urge to both conquer and spread seed.
• Conscience makes character count more than good looks when searching for husband candidates. If already married, building greater respect strengthens a man’s conscience and her belief in it.
• Husband’s conscience detects and springs forth from violations of his self-respect, because it stimulates doubt about his self-image. Phrased in reverse, if his picture of whom and what he is crumbles, his self-respect wilts. His natural reaction calls for restoration of it, and the stronger his conscience—which means greater respect for Self and others—the more highly motivated his effort.
• If he lacks respect for females generally, he doesn’t picture himself as wrong when he mistreats one.
• To the extent that he respects females, mistreatment of one causes his conscience to send signals of regret to him more than to her. However, lacking respect for her gender at least equal to or greater than his respect for the male gender means he can disrespect, mistreat, and even harm women with no conscience alerts, no loss of self-respect.  
• To the extent that he respects wife, mistreatment of her causes loss of self-respect. It contradicts his picture of him as husband and his ideals of what marriage means. But worse, if he lacks respect for her, mistreatment doesn’t make him feel bad about himself. It disturbs neither his self-image nor self-respect.

Describing the many roles of conscience has expanded. More tomorrow.

609. Roots: Politics vs. Females — 1. Openers

I dedicate this series to Her Ladyship Princess Rita.

The roots of Feminism are so interwoven in politics, history, and propaganda that this series has grown in size and depth. To ensure clarity, you’ll have to suffer through some definitions. Sorry.

I expose endless ways that Feminism helps political activists steal power away from the female gender and moderate the power of individuals. So, stay with me. Don’t let one objection or temporary disinterest turn you off. Rewards will come with the whole picture.  

We will trace roots by comparing two kinds of people. Some believe that women have God-given inherent rights to power, respect, and equal standing in society. Others believe they can provide women greater advantages, especially over men, through modern political and legal means that are unrestricted by principles from two centuries ago.

Some people rely on principles locked firmly in the rule of law, because it more predictably shapes their future. Others depend on pressures perceived by those in positions of power and respond to the rule of man, which makes the future unpredictable for the Some. (Also, women possess a primal need for a brighter future, and so they crave stability and predictability in their lives.)

Citing two kinds of people beg this question: What about people in the middle? Essentially, fence sitters don’t know, don’t care, or just want to watch. So, for this treatise, we can ignore them. And anyway, moderates don’t change the world. They water down the urges of the two competing kinds that shape the world; those whom I contrast here.  

Some people seek to preserve the U.S. Constitution, because it guarantees our inherent rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Others seek to overrule or overturn the Constitution, so they can impose their ideals on society according to ideologies foreign to America’s founding, heritage, and tradition.

Some people want to let people mind their own business and lives. Others seek to interfere in everyone’s business and life, and they expand government power to do more of it.

The roots of Feminism extend deeply into the ideologies of the Others shown above and in what follows. For over 100 years a collection of interest groups pushed back and forth to fulfill hidden agendas. They advanced with incremental ups and downs, as in two steps forward, one step back.

The mid-Twentieth Century saw revolutionary events including Women’s Liberation that morphed into Feminism. Modern women now question the merits, so feminists have started leaning as if preparing to take a step back. But the game’s not over and we need more info about the players.

Tomorrow: WWNH about faith.

595. Hits as Benefits — I

The female nature craves the attention of men! But women have been dumbed down about it.

☼    Feminists made it fashionable. Women automatically suspect compliments to be sexual advances. Her reaction smacks the guy that he’s not trusted. He sends compliment, and feedback says ‘turkey’. He could be valuable for something other than a relationship, but she damaged the connection.

☼    The female gender appears dumb, when women too easily take offense. Appearance counts, because men feast or bypass females with their eyes. Resisting a man’s well intended charm makes her appear dumb, and women reflect on each other. To men frustrated by the actions of one, women are all just more of the same.

☼    Men don’t see unwanted sexual advances as unwanted. They hit to determine whether wanted or not. Females make mini-judgments based on who and what he is, who and what she is, and where and when it occurs. It calls for highly complex judgments that guys hope won’t be made against them. Consequently, the masculine hit is merely an invitation for her to judge him, her, time, and place. All else is hope, and as Emerson said: The world turns on hope. So, why do women take such offense to these natural happenings? They have more than what they need to handle any guy.

434. KEEPERS FOR KEEPERS — Assortment 11

Dear Daughter: Some more worthy of your review.

☼ When men don’t highly value integrity in others, they likely lack it themselves. This makes vow-keeping much more difficult for such men. [7]

☼ Women are in charge, as always, but it takes a well-designed offense to defend against his offense. [12]

☼ The foundation of a man’s love is unconditional respect for the female gender and conditional respect for one woman. [7]

☼ She can condemn his nature and even get him to change behavior, but sooner or later she will pay a price for doing so. [10]

☼ She steals someone’s husband or boyfriend and expects him to be faithful, after she just taught him the rewards for infidelity. [8]

☼ Putting her personal comfort over attractive display of herself won’t reduce his eagerness for conquest, but it reduces his enthusiasm for her as keeper. [12]

☼ Moral standards serve women and children predominantly but only when women set good examples and stand firm. [7]

☼ Men acknowledge their inferiority as relationship experts, and so pay little attention to relationship maintenance. [4]

☼ Life 101 teaches young girls how to discriminate between the respect, value, and expectations of real life commitment and devotion. But, modern girls cut class. [13]

☼ If a man refuses to honor a woman’s standards and expectations, he won’t do it after conquest either. [8]

271. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’m! — Post 2 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♀ Should she expect and can she get everything? Is trying for perfection asking too much, when the subject so easily threatens him?  

♀ Does complaining about his approach to sex take her eye off the prize of keeping him?

♀ She expects him to read her mind about her wants, needs, and desires. He expects it to be unnecessary. His prowess and stamina will make the ball roll just fine, thank you very much.  

♀ The female gender can’t alter the nature of men. She does better paying attention to her own relationship than seeking aid and comfort with the ‘enemy’—sister females that are not above stalking her husband.

♀ Women are not alike in wants, needs, desires, drives, and erogenous zones. Each can solve her own problems in her own home. God designed and Nature gave her hard-headed expertise to deal with men, and soft-hearted expertise to deal with a man.

♀ Women talk about their wants, needs, and desires but skirt around their sex drive. They know intuitively that advertising it virtually admits to a sexually hyperactive past.

♀ Women complain and blame men about being inconsiderate. After years of Internet bashing of males, complaints continue. Do women expect different results from doing the same thing? 

Men should consider her sexual wants, needs, and desires. As we have seen, however, WOMEN often interfere.

[This subject and title started at post 266. Three more follow in a few days.]

157. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 11

The politically inspired Feminism movement persuaded women to change their behavior relative to men. Unintended consequences inevitably arose:

1.      Men do whatever females require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Before the Dark Side, men expected to marry for life and responsibly provide for family. Women admired and respected the male gender even more than their own. Men reciprocated. Women rewarded men for responsible husbanding and fathering, and men got what they wanted for giving up their freedom.

2.      Starting four decades ago, it all changed. Women’s Liberation advocates and the feminazis* called men relationship misfits, inadequate as mates, and unnecessary for the fulfillment of females. They mocked men as insensitive and overbearing. They sought to change the males’ natural dominance with legal, political, and economic initiatives.

3.      Full-fledged feminists and  their advocates and admirers took up the finger-pointing, male bashing, and condemnation of most things masculine.

4.      Men fulfilled the prophecy. They became what they were accused of and called. The Pygmalion Effect took effect; the self-fulfilling prophecy fulfilled.  

5.      Men now act as relationship misfits, inadequate mates, and unnecessary for the fulfillment of female interests. Feminist politics overwhelms the good common sense of the female nature. 

6.      Mutual respect dies. Neither gender respects the other more than their own, as they once did. Men don’t respect the female gender, largely because women show insufficient respect for the male gender. Feminists tried to alter the male Nature, but they failed. Hormones eventually trump intentions, whether good or bad. 

7.      Women provide unmarried sex more freely than ever before. Their need for a boyfriend, lover, or husband drives them to reward a man before he earns her by proving his worth for her. Feminists call it Sexual Freedom. Men call it GREAT! 

8.      Husbands abandon wives. They escape the woman that demeaned his importance by decades of trying to change him. Even older husbands capitalize by pursuing trophies. They long for the excitement they missed as teens. They seek a chance to start over; they’ve learned how to restore their significance as husband and father. 

9.      Thus, modern women compensate men for doing what women don’t want. Gentlemanly behavior is dead. Male sexual freedom shows few restraints. Erotic attire spreads the urge to merge. Male character strengths weaken as less family responsibility provides less reinforcement. Strong sense of family responsibility melts alongside another women without a man.  

10.  Men continue as their nature commands: They do whatever women require for frequent and convenient access to sex. It’s so much cheaper for males, now that females absorb the high cost of cheap sex. [More about the high cost can be found in posts 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2.]

Unfortunately, the feminist-darkened social culture forces the majority of women to pay the full price after split up. Lessened respect for men and social values about sexual freedom push women where they don’t want their relationships to go. They turned men into insensitive clods and fuzzy-headed mates. Having bought into a political ideology, Feminism, what more should women expect?  

* Rush Limbaugh coined the feminazi term to describe the dozen or so radicals that birthed Feminism out of the Women’s Liberation political movement. Nothing more is intended here.

[More about the Dark Side appears at posts 146, 134, 129, 123, 103, 92, 71, 50, 47, and 23. Scrolling down works best, but search can be made on the number with a dot and space following.]

69. Bright side of Femininity—Part 1

Reorganized, clarified, and reissued as #1831.