Last evening I had a delightful Polish dinner with Her Highness Marie, one of my research consultants. She inspires new thoughts about men and women, and two new principles come to light. I post one today and the other later.
In dating and courtship, modern women try to find and capture candidates to consider for marriage. Lacking in self-gratitude, they abandon their female nature. Men win and women lose because the focus shifts to sex.
It’s a huge paradox. The female nature prompts women to wish that men would put sex aside in the process of finding interest in each other. Modern women dress sexually attractive and wonder why they can’t keep sex on the sideline. It doesn’t work to the advantage of women. After abandoning their own nature, they ignore the male nature. It subconsciously implies disrespect. Men subliminally respond with little respect for women although they respect the female nature (now seldom in use). Women don’t appeal to the emotional side of men. Just the sexual which provides fun and games but no emotional interest or link up.
Women want to be liked first. It’s a mistake. To be liked other than for sex, she must first earn a man’s respect. Just as men must respect before they love, the same goes for liking someone beyond a passing moment in life.
She’s attractive two ways, sexually and emotionally. Men are like this. a) He likes her sexual appearance and becomes interested in sex with her. Or b) He respects her emotional appearance and becomes interested in her. It’s under her control. Whichever option she induces him to take, his curiosity and imagination dominate his thoughts. He becomes curious about who she is and fires up his imagination about what she represents to him. Sex or something more promising? Until that happens, she can’t claim victory for what she wants most. In the end women want ‘b’ and ‘a’ works directly against them.
Men respect uniqueness in women. A man wants distinction, not commonness. He seeks to appreciate his own taste in women, drive his competitors to envy, inflate his self-admiration, and add to his significance. When she provides those benefits, he respects her. Out of that start, he learns to like her and can move on to love her.
A woman who looks like just another member of the sisterhood doesn’t appear unique. Example: The commonness of one hair style kills uniqueness for many women. (It’s for another time, but I’m willing to bet that most men given two choices would pick the second. a) Long, below the shoulder, and little-upkeep hair to nestle their face in while in bed. Or, b) neatly coiffed, shorter, and face enhancing hairdo that makes her look attractive out of bed. When’s the last time her hair helped get a man into bed?)
Women fertilize their tree of hope when they find ways to make their emotional attractiveness hide their sexual attractiveness. Glamorous clothes and hair are one option but the Muumuu Effect is another (posts 665 and 666).
The success of women attracting men for other than sex won’t improve until they show greater respect for both the male and female natures and overcome their own lack of self-gratitude. Without the latter they remain too self-centered to be respected very highly by men.