667. Response to Viewer — Item 17

Her Highness Easybreezy prompted this article by wondering at post #439: “So how much better was it ‘back then’?” She referred to women upholding virtue many years ago.

ONCE UPON A TIME

Those American centuries and decades before the 1960s seem strange to young females. They’ve imbibed so much feminist propaganda.

Female virtue indirectly enabled wives to run up a string of cultural victories for women. Our foremothers followed the spirit of abstinence without marriage, which influenced our forefathers to develop better character. Men had to earn and qualify for a woman’s hand, even after progress removed fathers from the process. Consequently, having to prove themselves worthy, men made better husbands and fathers.

Wives stressed family-friendly political, legal, and social norms and improvements. Wives influenced husbands to produce in the workplace societal improvements that evolved into family-friendly cultural values. Some examples of societal pressures that men would not produce without female influence:  

• Virtue completes a female, and character completes a man. (The presence of both laid the foundation for marital success.) 
• Personal responsibility comes first. (This kept fathers closer to wife and children.)
• Maturity was identified with rational thought that trumped adolescent feelings, which we see today in popularity and celebrity worship. (Few people carried adolescent values into adulthood, because parents taught by example how mature adults act.)
• The opposite gender was respected more than one’s own gender. (This generated mutual dependence between the sexes.)
• Gender interdependency promoted marriage as the prime institution and most people married. (Singles contributed little except for school teachers, and they mostly supported existing social mores and cultural values.)
• Great faith existed for fellow Americans. Respect was due everyone, and they had it until they lost it. To a lesser extent, trust was likewise. (This generated equality of respect and unified people, which glorified Americanism.)
• Everybody tended to mind his own business. (This contrasts sharply with today’s ‘I want to make a difference’. Unsaid, it usually means ‘I want to change others, but I don’t have to change.’ This invariably boils down to telling others how to live.)

These cultural results flowed from female virtue, which inspired better manly character, which changed society, and which slowly structured the American culture with ever stronger family-friendly priorities and values.  

660. Response to Viewer — Item 16

A young lady asked for advice to restore her relationship after the following happened:

Boyfriend proposed. She was surprised and couldn’t believe it. Only one friend thought the proposal genuine. So, she treated him unfairly, and “he wants to forget about marriage because [she] freaked out so much.” 

Sorry, but I can’t offer advice. I don’t know her situation nearly well enough; only she knows it well enough to ‘cure’ it. Instead, I offer a model of interactive pressures from which she may be able to figure out what to do.

• If she acts too eager to marry, he gets scared. If she does it suddenly and overpoweringly, she has changed from the woman he chose.
• Men intensely dislike making the wrong call about a woman; it indicates faulty reasoning and makes him look poorly to other men, his competitors with whom he has face to save.
• If he withdraws from marriage, he has a reason. If she respects him, she has to respect his decisions or preferences. The best sign of her respect is to accept marriage-lost almost as if it’s her decision and without making him look bad.
• She backs off marriage and neither complains nor explains. Silence is golden, when one doesn’t know what’s happened or happening. He’ll find it hard to attach blame to her silence.
• Figure the bloom is off the rose. Wait for him to initiate a re-blossoming, a recapturing of his woman.

Her strength lies in NOT falling to pieces when he disappoints her on vital issues. He can’t or won’t examine himself and his actions, if she turns into blithering idiot or smothering female.

653. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 6

• Intimacy is vitally important to her and less so to men. But which is more important: depth or breadth, quality or quantity, intensity or frequency? Lengthy courtship enables her to find out about herself and ‘train’ him to match her expectations. 
• Home should be his castle, but not unless she generates the harmony. For example, except when in use, she requires the commode LID to be down. Last user is responsible. (Can’t tell you why it works this way, but he’ll more easily accept her homey home-keeping standard for closed commode than her expectation that he always lower the seat. He’ll do for his castle, what he won’t do for her. You say shameful or selfish, I say Nature.)
• Sex bonds women, but mutual respect bonds people and genders.
• Self-esteem means how well you like yourself as a person. Self-love describes it better for females provided it also includes especially liking their selves as female.
• Women have to put up with many unwelcome hits to draw a few routine compliments from men. Improving their appearance with feminine mystery and modesty improves the ratio in favor of compliments.

576. Why Harassment? — Egregious 3

This post follows 574 and 575 and cites tactics for women to use against unwanted sexual advances. If those primary tactics don’t work, these advanced tactics may.

Dealing with egregious advances, these behavior rules work best:

♦       Don’t act angry, don’t complain, don’t explain, and don’t answer questions he may express in surprised innocence. Especially show no empathy or sympathy for him, because you think your words hurt his feelings. 

♦       Don’t stare him down if you work with or for him—he loses too much face to continue working well with you. Otherwise stare-down helps.  

♦       Make him interpret your reaction all by himself. He can’t stand confusion and mystery, because it triggers both his producing nature and problem-solving spirit. Consequently, his behavior should change but not necessarily for the better.

When “Stop that” doesn’t work, other tactics may. Guilt, shame, and ridicule work, and the greatest of these is ridicule. These ideas penetrate the male psyche in ways that help her.

♦       Men are not vulnerable to female accusations about manhood etcetera. They retaliate as with any competitor. Men favor directness and have trouble with indirectness, which is the female forte. They are particularly vulnerable to female hints that indirectly claim they lack finesse and charm. For example: “You act underage, so I need father’s permission.” (Call him underage regardless of his age, and don’t clarify whose father.) Say nothing more.

♦       Threats can work but shock helps: “I’ll ask your wife.” Or, “My last knee-to-the-crotch was a real zinger.” Or, “You once again made my daily journal that I let others read.” For max effectiveness, create doubts, fears, and questions that make him deviate from his standard game plan. Make him face some unknowns simply because you act different than what he already knows how to handle. Shock and awe works for military conquest, and he may be trying it on you. However, it also works to prevent egregious attempts to conquer. 

♦       Strike the guilt chord: “Does Jesus approve your adulterous thoughts?” Or, “Does your wife/girlfriend approve?”

♦       Strike the shame chord: Slap should work with most men. Or, if in public angrily shout “Stop that” or “No.” Stare him down but only if you don’t work with or for him—such as your professor.  

♦       Many things can reduce men to little boys, virtual parenting as it were. For example: Ask a mature and impressive male friend older than the offender to intervene for you. It sends numerous messages. You have a big brother or father figure to protect you. It tells the offender he loses the respect of respectable men, his universal competitors. The older your friend relative to offender, the stronger it indirectly signals his behavior as childish. It changes you from his target for sex to him as offender of female dignity.  

You ladies know better than I how to make these general ideas work at the individual level or even if they will. I offer them merely as insight to how the male mind would likely respond.

Many women are reluctant to so aggressively challenge offending males. I understand, but they should consider this: God made men hard-hearted. To deal with that masculine shortcoming, he made females hardheaded. Use it or lose it.

574. Why Harassment? — Egregious 1

I dedicate this series to Her Highness Sharon. She has a young friend whose professor makes unwanted sexual advances—and in seminary yet. To grapple with this problem, we need a baseline. So, I start with these assumptions:

• Hits fall into five categories that women immediately decide. Welcome, acceptable, tolerable, offensive, and so egregious that she’s inspired to take immediate action to restore her dignity, prevent recurrence, take revenge, or all three.
• This series deals with only the egregious, which means hits made by unwanted men or those unqualified or unworthy for her by sight. Women know how to handle other hits.
• As with all hits, the easy short route maximizes the female’s advantage. Handle it herself unless she seeks revenge.
• Call it harassment only if impossible to stop the offender or she seeks revenge. (Harassment claims serve the people processing them more than even a vengeful victim. The process does nothing to change the natural habits of uninvolved men except make them distrust females, suspicious of female motivations, and afraid to compliment women.)
• Excepting violence, females have the intrinsic talent and capability to make any man stop. Perhaps not the first instance, but the repeat performances remain in her hands unless she hollers harassment.

If one man offends egregiously, she can find a way to stop him. How to gain the tactical advantage starts tomorrow with post, 575.

573. The Male Glance — Part III

Part I (570) describes men observing females. Part II (572) describes females preparing to be observed. Female mushy thinking highlights the following.  

Some women dress down to prevent unwanted sexual advances aka hits. They rationalize careless, sloppy, and even manly appearance. Others use ‘hit prevention’ as rationale for dressing down out of laziness, carelessness, poor self-image, low self-esteem, or lack of interest in men.

They disregard this fact of life: By trying to prevent rather than handle the unwanted, they adopt a self-defeating mindset and attitude that reflects discredit on females and males.   

It’s self-defeating, because it drives a wedge between them and natural behavior of men. They resent men doing what men do best and will never stop—eyeballing the lovely. However, many of these women hypocritically respond favorably when hits come from good looking guys. (Not hypocritical for being selective, but for trying to prevent hits in the first place. It adds phoniness to a woman’s attitude, and she will pay later for being phony.)  

Such women reflect discredit on females. Their ‘hit prevention’ appearance discourages men from routinely affirming females as important to the social scene. This transmutes into pursuit of such women for conquest only. The women signal disrespect for themselves and men kind of isolate them into a third gender: ‘Good for sex only’ (if I don’t have to work hard to get it).

‘Hit prevention’ reflects discredit on males. Perhaps unwanted, but hits express a males’ view of a female’s value. Admittedly, he may also be testing for sexual availability. That’s what men do. They initiate sex, which calls for determining availability. How else should men do it? Wait for women to initiate? Hints are socially acceptable starters. Why should these women penalize men when they give women the choice? Like a knock on the door, she doesn’t have to say ‘come in’ or even answer.

A better way than hit avoidance exists for a woman to announce her standards to be above unwanted advances. Ignoring, smiling, and even chastising teach both females and males how to act. It shapes society to be more female friendly. If not then women aren’t doing it correctly. Correcting males about female values and standards also teaches men to help fulfill womanly expectations.

571. Unmarried women shape society — Part 3

Reason, logic, and stubbornness about unmarried sex—aka common sense hardheadedness—enables women to make society female friendly. So does common sense soft-heartedness dealing with life, children, men, and husbands. Female friendliness spreads when women:

• Enhance the female side of social and domestic life by uplifting the male sex as respectable and indispensable and the female sex as respectful and grateful.
• Highly value and uphold morality, principles, and ideals that tame male aggression, civilize boys and men, and domesticate husbands for fulfilling female hopes and dreams.
• Forego immediate gratification to pursue long-range security, and do it sooner in life. (Dave Ramsey claims women have a ‘security gland’. I say this: It becomes active with her mid-STRIFE crisis that arrives about age 30 and intensifies throughout life.)
• Express, endorse, and follow moral and practical ideals that stimulate a man away from shack up and toward matrimony.
• Practice virtual virginity to allow time for a man’s interest and respect to deepen into more than romantic love. Delay his conquest until he honors her values and principles, steps up to her expectations, and yields his sense of freedom to devotion and togetherness.

When the most admirable, popular, and opinion leader females follow their nature in those ways, others follow. It pinches and squeezes male dominance. Overly independent masculinity shrinks under female pressure, which pushes men to think about and help one woman pursue her life goals.

564. Mirror Time II

In the previous post (563) we saw the role of the color black for suppressing thoughts about sex. This post explores the feminine disadvantages caused by ‘dressing down’ so that only sex has appeal.

Females dress down for variety of reasons: through laziness or carelessness about personal appearance; soft-headedness about personal grooming; to attract men with suggestiveness; to act more like men; to use unsightliness to prevent hits; or to hide fat bulges, folds, and wrinkles. Thus, they rationalize away their strengths for dealing with men and holding onto one.

• Suggestive clothing invites conquest, nothing more. Put a man’s mind on that target, and she’ll have difficulty shifting his focus to whatever else she has to offer. Start with sex, and she’ll end up with little else.
• All-black emulates guy-wear. Guys know how to treat other guys, including fakes trying to win favor or just think and dress like men. 
• Black camouflages fat and weight. If women didn’t hide behind it, would as many be overweight?
• Tight black clothing usually bulges. It doesn’t take much to suggest her desperation for a man, reflect lack of self-respect, and display lack of self-discipline at snacks and table.
• Tight black signals some willingness to abandon standard feminine behavior, and the obvious alternative is masculine-style sexual freedom. Men sense it that way, although it may just be sensed in background mode.
• Particularly unfeminine are black tank tops, tight tees, and similar upper wear with hip-hugger jeans or more suggestive bottoms.

It boils down to this: If women seek greater respect from men, shape up. More mirror time prompts women to think more feminine. More feminine translates to dressing up instead of down.