Tag Archives: female

2061. Female Blessings at Birth — 61-63


EDITOR’S NOTE: I detect disinterest in this series. Is there too much of it? Irrelevant to your life? Inaccurate or too speculative? Make you uncomfortable? I’ve not lost my conviction that the major impediment to female happiness in society today is this. Women are not grateful enough for themselves as unique individuals. They too much want to be thankful that they are like everyone else, which is sour thinking for gals seeking happiness with a lifetime mate. The best men marry women who are unique, different from other gals. Poorer candidates for marriage have to take what’s left over. In our case here, it means gals who have little different to offer than sex, which doesn’t make them different to men thinking long term.

Nevertheless, for now, I continue with the project of asking for your agreement/disagreement on the long list of blessings that women inherit at birth. This is the 21st group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your responses. Especially those that signify your agreement or disagreement, T or F.

61. I know that my mirror-reflected image is both my best friend (next to Jesus) and one to whom I cannot lie for very long. It constantly varies, but in front of a mirror I’m grateful for either the mirror, my image, or myself. Consequently, a mirror works as a reliable pick-me-up. [Guy adds: I am frequently asked why I recommend mirror time each morning. The reasons are scattered in several article and too numerous for here. I shall prepare a new summary article, so don’t let me forget it.]

62. I unconditionally respect people and loved ones. It’s an awesome power that I can trust people whom I know until evidence and good reason reveal that I shouldn’t. [Guy adds: This is always worth repeating. If you want to be trusted by someone, show them more respect. If you want to be respected, show them more trust. Let that percolate within your parental mind too.]

63. I am intuitively able to give people benefit of the doubt until they prove undeserving of it. [Guy adds: Two natural reasons are behind that female trait. First, females are primarily givers until turned against it or for certain things. Second, giving benefit of the doubt is a vital technique for relationship experts; give it up and expertise is weakened.]

Example for your response: “63-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything. And even more especially, if you will respond to the Editor’s Note at the top.

 

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1996. Self-gratitude — Default Attitudes


Yesterday I posted angelic whipped cream to the self-gratitude sundae. Today I add the nuts of gratefulness. The numbered list of naturally endowed female qualities that women inherit at birth has been revised and enlarged. It’s posted as a separate page at blog top.

Default attitudes reflect the way that God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize females to function as the superior sex within society built and sustained by the dominant sex. Tomorrow, the cherry of recovery completes the sundae at 1997.

 

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667. Response to Viewer — Item 17


Her Highness Easybreezy prompted this article by wondering at post #439: “So how much better was it ‘back then’?” She referred to women upholding virtue many years ago.

ONCE UPON A TIME

Those American centuries and decades before the 1960s seem strange to young females. They’ve imbibed so much feminist propaganda.

Female virtue indirectly enabled wives to run up a string of cultural victories for women. Our foremothers followed the spirit of abstinence without marriage, which influenced our forefathers to develop better character. Men had to earn and qualify for a woman’s hand, even after progress removed fathers from the process. Consequently, having to prove themselves worthy, men made better husbands and fathers.

Wives stressed family-friendly political, legal, and social norms and improvements. Wives influenced husbands to produce in the workplace societal improvements that evolved into family-friendly cultural values. Some examples of societal pressures that men would not produce without female influence:  

  • Virtue completes a female, and character completes a man. (The presence of both laid the foundation for marital success.) 
  • Personal responsibility comes first. (This kept fathers closer to wife and children.)
  • Maturity was identified with rational thought that trumped adolescent feelings, which we see today in popularity and celebrity worship. (Few people carried adolescent values into adulthood, because parents taught by example how mature adults act.)
  • The opposite gender was respected more than one’s own gender. (This generated mutual dependence between the sexes.)
  • Gender interdependency promoted marriage as the prime institution and most people married. (Singles contributed little except for school teachers, and they mostly supported existing social mores and cultural values.)
  • Great faith existed for fellow Americans. Respect was due everyone, and they had it until they lost it. To a lesser extent, trust was likewise. (This generated equality of respect and unified people, which glorified Americanism.)
  • Everybody tended to mind his own business. (This contrasts sharply with today’s ‘I want to make a difference’. Unsaid, it usually means ‘I want to change others, but I don’t have to change.’ This invariably boils down to telling others how to live.)

These cultural results flowed from female virtue, which inspired better manly character, which changed society, and which slowly structured the American culture with ever stronger family-friendly priorities and values.  

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660. Response to Viewer — Item 16


A young lady asked for advice to restore her relationship after the following happened:

Boyfriend proposed. She was surprised and couldn’t believe it. Only one friend thought the proposal genuine. So, she treated him unfairly, and “he wants to forget about marriage because [she] freaked out so much.” 

Sorry, but I can’t offer advice. I don’t know her situation nearly well enough; only she knows it well enough to ‘cure’ it. Instead, I offer a model of interactive pressures from which she may be able to figure out what to do.

  • If she acts too eager to marry, he gets scared. If she does it suddenly and overpoweringly, she has changed from the woman he chose.
  • Men intensely dislike making the wrong call about a woman; it indicates faulty reasoning and makes him look poorly to other men, his competitors with whom he has face to save.
  • If he withdraws from marriage, he has a reason. If she respects him, she has to respect his decisions or preferences. The best sign of her respect is to accept marriage-lost almost as if it’s her decision and without making him look bad.
  • She backs off marriage and neither complains nor explains. Silence is golden, when one doesn’t know what’s happened or happening. He’ll find it hard to attach blame to her silence.
  • Figure the bloom is off the rose. Wait for him to initiate a re-blossoming, a recapturing of his woman.

Her strength lies in NOT falling to pieces when he disappoints her on vital issues. He can’t or won’t examine himself and his actions, if she turns into blithering idiot or smothering female.

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653. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 6


  • Intimacy is vitally important to her and less so to men. But which is more important: depth or breadth, quality or quantity, intensity or frequency? Lengthy courtship enables her to find out about herself and ‘train’ him to match her expectations. 
  • Home should be his castle, but not unless she generates the harmony. For example, except when in use, she requires the commode LID to be down. Last user is responsible. (Can’t tell you why it works this way, but he’ll more easily accept her homey home-keeping standard for closed commode than her expectation that he always lower the seat. He’ll do for his castle, what he won’t do for her. You say shameful or selfish, I say Nature.)
  • Sex bonds women, but mutual respect bonds people and genders.
  • Self-esteem means how well you like yourself as a person. Self-love describes it better for females provided it also includes especially liking their selves as female.
  • Women have to put up with many unwelcome hits to draw a few routine compliments from men. Improving their appearance with feminine mystery and modesty improves the ratio in favor of compliments.

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576. Why Harassment? — Egregious 3


This post follows 574 and 575 and cites tactics for women to use against unwanted sexual advances. If those primary tactics don’t work, these advanced tactics may.

Dealing with egregious advances, these behavior rules work best:

♦       Don’t act angry, don’t complain, don’t explain, and don’t answer questions he may express in surprised innocence. Especially show no empathy or sympathy for him, because you think your words hurt his feelings. 

♦       Don’t stare him down if you work with or for him—he loses too much face to continue working well with you. Otherwise stare-down helps.  

♦       Make him interpret your reaction all by himself. He can’t stand confusion and mystery, because it triggers both his producing nature and problem-solving spirit. Consequently, his behavior should change but not necessarily for the better.

When “Stop that” doesn’t work, other tactics may. Guilt, shame, and ridicule work, and the greatest of these is ridicule. These ideas penetrate the male psyche in ways that help her.

♦       Men are not vulnerable to female accusations about manhood etcetera. They retaliate as with any competitor. Men favor directness and have trouble with indirectness, which is the female forte. They are particularly vulnerable to female hints that indirectly claim they lack finesse and charm. For example: “You act underage, so I need father’s permission.” (Call him underage regardless of his age, and don’t clarify whose father.) Say nothing more.

♦       Threats can work but shock helps: “I’ll ask your wife.” Or, “My last knee-to-the-crotch was a real zinger.” Or, “You once again made my daily journal that I let others read.” For max effectiveness, create doubts, fears, and questions that make him deviate from his standard game plan. Make him face some unknowns simply because you act different than what he already knows how to handle. Shock and awe works for military conquest, and he may be trying it on you. However, it also works to prevent egregious attempts to conquer. 

♦       Strike the guilt chord: “Does Jesus approve your adulterous thoughts?” Or, “Does your wife/girlfriend approve?”

♦       Strike the shame chord: Slap should work with most men. Or, if in public angrily shout “Stop that” or “No.” Stare him down but only if you don’t work with or for him—such as your professor.  

♦       Many things can reduce men to little boys, virtual parenting as it were. For example: Ask a mature and impressive male friend older than the offender to intervene for you. It sends numerous messages. You have a big brother or father figure to protect you. It tells the offender he loses the respect of respectable men, his universal competitors. The older your friend relative to offender, the stronger it indirectly signals his behavior as childish. It changes you from his target for sex to him as offender of female dignity.  

You ladies know better than I how to make these general ideas work at the individual level or even if they will. I offer them merely as insight to how the male mind would likely respond.

Many women are reluctant to so aggressively challenge offending males. I understand, but they should consider this: God made men hard-hearted. To deal with that masculine shortcoming, he made females hardheaded. Use it or lose it.

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574. Why Harassment? — Egregious 1


I dedicate this series to Her Highness Sharon. She has a young friend whose professor makes unwanted sexual advances—and in seminary yet. To grapple with this problem, we need a baseline. So, I start with these assumptions:

  • Hits fall into five categories that women immediately decide. Welcome, acceptable, tolerable, offensive, and so egregious that she’s inspired to take immediate action to restore her dignity, prevent recurrence, take revenge, or all three.
  • This series deals with only the egregious, which means hits made by unwanted men or those unqualified or unworthy for her by sight. Women know how to handle other hits.
  • As with all hits, the easy short route maximizes the female’s advantage. Handle it herself unless she seeks revenge.
  • Call it harassment only if impossible to stop the offender or she seeks revenge. (Harassment claims serve the people processing them more than even a vengeful victim. The process does nothing to change the natural habits of uninvolved men except make them distrust females, suspicious of female motivations, and afraid to compliment women.)
  • Excepting violence, females have the intrinsic talent and capability to make any man stop. Perhaps not the first instance, but the repeat performances remain in her hands unless she hollers harassment.

If one man offends egregiously, she can find a way to stop him. How to gain the tactical advantage starts tomorrow with post, 575.

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