- Sex is not the only but just the first thing that men are after. Seeking sex is how they improve self-image, compete with men, build bravado among peers, hide self-doubt, cover inadequacies, and try to figure out along the way just how they will find, screen, and capture a woman with enough promise for permanent mating. Not as dedicated to the idea as women, men desire to spend their lives with a virtuous woman. Most of the modern relationship turmoil flows out of the emphasis on sex and lack of emphasis on mutual respect and ideal (aka virtuous) qualities in women and female-friendly values, standards, and expectations in Womanhood.
- Male satisfaction and female happiness are two sides of the same coin. In a man, hope fuels ambition, which stimulates his many missions and multitude of tasks wherein achievement produces satisfaction. In a woman, hope fuels ambition to reinforce her importance to self and others. But it only comes sincerely when she displays her gratefulness for them. Consequently, the female cure for hopelessness is to find gratitude in her heart, express it outside herself, and thereby board the bus to happiness.
- Just an observation: More modest women tend to drive smaller cars and less modest women favor larger, sportier, and faster ones. Men satisfied with their life tend to drive smaller cars. Men less satisfied trend toward the larger, sportier, faster ones. Just a suspicion: As women stop using their inherited sense of modesty to advance their agenda with men, they morph toward expressions of masculinity that fail to satisfy men plus they lose their feminine uniqueness. It’s good for sex, though, the man’s game.
451. Sex does not bond men, but the opportunity for conquest conquers his attention and holds it tightly until a woman gives in. This facet of his nature enables virtual virginity to work for her. 
452. This puts the courtship agenda in her hands: (1) Her hard-headedness prevails over both her soft-heartedness and his hard-headed and hard-hearted persistence for sex. (2) She tests and retests him to be the potential right man for life together. (3) She continues to reject sexual relations at least until number two is proven and engagement or preferably marriage follows. 
453. The curse of modern adolescence is this. Girls too highly value boys and having a boyfriend. More so, in fact, than they value feminine, modest, moral, female-empowering, and self-protective behaviors. When boys butt their hormone-soaked heads up against the brick wall of ardent feminine standards, it teaches girls the well-hidden truths about the male nature and how to avoid future life as some guy’s ex. 
454. Women age most gracefully and charmingly when they intensify their natural femininity early in life. Duplicating the male persona ages women prematurely and leaves them with little grace and charm for their elder years. 
455. Women are naturally well-equipped with a cooperative spirit, indirectness, nurture-power, soft-heartedness, and natural but unoffending hard-headedness. These strengths help balance their man’s dominance. Each successful balancing event reinforces her efforts, strengthens her influence, and enlarges his respect. 
456. Extraordinary women arise from this model to hold the respect of men for life: She keeps herself looking pretty and modest, fairly independent, and attractive to men. However, she automatically tests any man she encounters as if for a relationship. She doesn’t relate well with those unworthy of her. It applies to all men, not just her man. 
457. Femininity in early life captures a man’s attention. Femininity practiced ardently over their years together gradually empowers her as family matriarch in later life. 
458. Femininity best improves a woman’s lot in life by inspiring a man to adopt her social and domestic values and expectations usually built upon her girlhood hopes and dreams. But it calls for indirectness, cooperation, patience, and charm used to admire his significance, demo her respect, and show gratitude for and dependence on who he is and what he does. 
459. Whether done by one or many women, feminine values and standards upheld strongly and persistently against unmarried sex go far toward reducing male dominance, aggressiveness, and violence. (First principle of masculine behavior: Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Second principle: Men even marry if that’s required.) 
460. He measures his manly prowess by her worth after his conquest. Much of her retention value hinges on it. He wonders roundabout and over time: Now that I have, who else conquered this woman, if she is to be anything more than a used sex target to me? 
I figured out why men have little compunction about asking women for hang out and hook up in lieu of dates. Women are willing to be treated less than they deserve—less respect as a person, less worthy as a female, less regard as the superior sex. The dominant sex takes the easier way, because women don’t reinforce their own wishes and brace up their own feelings by standing up for their own selves. Actions change feelings, but women have forgotten how to exploit that principle. Men haven’t.
Men see women as not defending uniquely female values, standards, and expectations. They invite women to help pay for dates without risking loss of face. So, men suffer no loss of dignity by doing what women neither want nor appreciate. When women do stand up for themselves, men must expect and respect it or else they flunk the course of learning how to find acceptance on feminine terms—aka being tamed to honor female standards and expectations.
Women don’t appreciate themselves enough. They don’t protect female sensibilities and feminine expectations by telling men to bug off with their disrespectful proposals. Women just don’t preserve their superior role as females, and the root of malpractice is described in the next post.
Her Highness Surfercajun reinforces her self-gratitude this way. She volunteers these factors as presumably significant in her life. Such a sterling contribution rates this separate posting.
- I am grateful for… a healthy body that works for me and serves my family/others.
- I am grateful for…ideas and words that I have that will help lift others spirits.
- I am grateful for…a smile (braces) that my parents paid for that serves others.
- I am grateful for…. listening ears and feminine attention when a perfect strangers tells me their story, stops and then says, “Why did I just tell you all of that?” …I just smile.
- I am grateful for….no hospital bills or the fact none of us needed expensive medicine when my husband was unemployed for over 3 months.
- I am grateful for…the little things my husband does for me “just because.”
- I am grateful for… flowers that were picked from the side of the road than from a florist. (I still remember from so many years ago and remind him.)
- I am grateful for…my children and the one that was taken away.
- I am grateful for…tears that spill over innocent children and animals.
- I am grateful for…advice given to me that help my family and I in turn can share with others.
- I am grateful for…a tender heart that shudders when someone speaks to me harshly. Reminding me how words can hurt our heart.
- I am grateful for…found books, articles, websites (this one), that make me a better person inside.
Editor’s Note: I love it when pretty women do my job so well for me.
271. After conquest the infatuated but less-than-fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, booty, live in, or wife if necessary. 
272. Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. His appreciation, respect, and her value go up as he tries to overcome difficulty achieving his goal. Also, how he handles her objections and obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her, if he has the potential to become devoted to her. 
273. The feminist ideology wraps the female heart with meanness toward men. It breeds selfishness and self-centeredness and injects female ugliness into relationships. It makes women stand up inside and figuratively shake a fist at men. It pushes men to fight back with what often become abuse, abandonment, and violence. 
274. Instead of relying on the feminine side of their nature, modern women fish with exposed breasts and net a man with sex. But they can’t hold him. In that way, women pay the price of politicized and socialized elitism. (For specific differences, see the series Dark Side of Feminism) 
275. Acting feminine maximizes a woman’s value to herself and men. By doing so, she uplifts her self-worth, enlarges her self-image, and broadens her self-interest. She likes herself as girl, female, woman, mother, grandmother, and girlfriend. Masculine men react the same but in manlier roles. 
276. Men respond to feminine women by becoming more responsible, which encourages women to become more feminine. 
277. Feminine behavior attracts men to rise above themselves and accept domestic and fatherly responsibility. A woman’s feminine spirit makes her appear vulnerable and challenges good men. One will admire himself with thoughts of taking care of her. 
278. Femininity encourages girls to listen and duplicate mother’s and even grandmother’s experience. This enables each generation to improve on its ability to tame and harness male dominance into fulfilling female hopes and dreams. 
279. If she makes it easy for him to know her, she makes it hard for him to keep her. Mystery captivates. Candidness victimizes her with whatever strengths of dominance he chooses to use. 
280. The greatest male candidate for marriage has unconditional respect for the opposite sex that exceeds respect for his own sex. The same applies to women candidates, but it’s easier to observe in women than men. 
261. A woman who uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Dependence on attention and affection are not enough. 
262. A man’s discoveries and impressions of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her. 
263. A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes as he penetrates her pleasant friendliness and works hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling. 
264. If after they marry she waters down her help, support, gratitude, and encouragement for who and what he is, she may also want to research where the local exes recovery group is meeting. 
265. A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to earn self-admiration and satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can make a satisfactory and permanent accommodation. 
266. A man’s not truly interested in her if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her. 
267. If she expects her feminist leanings, attitude, and political expectations to override his natural masculine behaviors, her value to him will diminish over time. 
268. A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential for a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one. Women are the same regarding men and one man. 
269. A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s unqualified to be his keeper. 
270. After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or else he moves on. 
Peach Blossoms posed these questions at article 1228: “How does a woman strike a balance between keeping him interested and not letting him become discouraged if he can’t get to the first kiss? How to defer it without making him feel like she might be leading him on?” My response grew.
Your Highness Peach Blossoms,
You focus on the negatives so drop that mindset. You worry that you’ll do something wrong. We all make mistakes and that’s why recovery is everything. Also, don’t look for balance, let it arrive naturally.
Try a different slant on life. Your attitude will be weighed by a man because it reflects what’s in your heart. The more nonsexual attention, admiration, respect, and gratitude you express to and about a man, the more your heart becomes programmed to sincerely reflect your feelings about him. He wants to see your love, not hear about it.
- Primarily it works like this. Your words about him program your heart. Your actions influence his heart and convince his mind. His actions that please you program his heart toward devotion. Unfortunately, loving and loveable words about your love merely increase your self-centeredness. A man doesn’t need to hear about your love for him; he becomes convinced as he hears your appreciation of who he is and what he does.
- A man easily respects an unconquered woman who has the self-respect to resist his appeals for sex. She earns respect by apparently living up to something more important. Her resistance helps promote his determination to mate with her because resistance and sincerity promote the promise of her faithfulness. It also makes first kiss much less important. If he sees promise that she can enhance his life, he can wait longer without it weakening his interest.
- You have standards. So, make them plain, don’t complain, and don’t explain. When you complain, you blame and no guy wants to hear it; he instinctively rejects guilt. When you explain, you weaken your own standards, show lack of self-respect, display lack of self-confidence, and otherwise make yourself appear less respectable. It’s not good because a man’s love is founded on respect for women generally and one in particular.
- Avoid deep personal matters but show friendly attention, wonder, respect, and gratitude for who he is as a unique person, handy man, and powerful achiever in both job and leisure pursuits. However, praise only what you want to see more of. Don’t verbalize about the undesirable but use it to determine if he’s really the one for you.
- Find laughter to defer seriousness, pay attention to him as a friend rather than potential lover, and make yourself so appealing in his company that he wants to be with you instead of somewhere else. His devotion grows from his actions to please you. (Complaints about his absences work directly against you. You’re saying he’s inadequate and he rejects the guilt by turning his eyes elsewhere.)
- But don’t try too hard and overdo it. Be yourself and act feminine. Indirectness sells you better. Respond to his nonsexual initiatives affirmatively. Respond to his sex-slanted initiatives with Whoa and No in the air but not verbalized until essential to get him to stop or change. Forget your soft-hearted nature and put your hard-headed nature to work indirectly and as subtle as practicable. Hard-to-get is greatly undersold. Resistance to yielding is the primary method for a female to earn male respect, because a man infers so readily that she is and would continue to be faithful to him.
- Make it your standard to provide as little feedback as possible when your expectations are not respected. The more feedback you provide, the more judgmental he becomes with the new info. The less feedback you provide on negative issues, the more mysterious you become.
- First kiss leads to a faster conquest. So, all delays help you control the premarital agenda. While trying to find what makes you tick and what rounds your heels for conquest, a guy learns about your character, the potential you possibly hold for his future, and the promise he sees in you as his mate. The longer and deeper he has to dig to find what will finally roll you into his bed, the more his appreciation morphs into promise of you as his mate.
Finally, be aware that men don’t act like women act.
- When a man conquers a woman, he doesn’t bond. He already knows enough about her and so he changes. He stops trying to find out who she is and what promise she might hold for him. He has less interest, and so he quits delving deeper into her heart and mind. He quits ferreting out what dwells within her and his respect for her peaks. If not devoted to her by that time, he’s less likely to spend his life with her.
- Men don’t need and often don’t want the love and loving that women crave. While they are emotional creatures, they think and act more on facts than feelings. They keep their feelings to themselves. It’s not your love and loving that captures or holds a man; it’s the promise he visualizes as the result of your actions much more than your words.
The happy season is upon us. I have to take a break for family and travel. So, I leave this unusual post for you to ponder while in good spirits.
I was inspired by an outstanding thinker and prominent author. On hearing him, I copied his style and uncovered a precise summary of What Women Never Hear. He identifies one side of the equation to restore male-female compatibility. I identify the other side.
On his December 11 TV show, Glenn Beck interviewed Stephen Mansfield, author of Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men—An Utterly Invigorating Guide to Being Your Most Masculine Self. The author summarized his book with this. (I add the brackets to describe my understanding of his principles.)
Mansfield’s MANLY MAXIMS
- Manly men do manly things. [aka not female things]
- Manly men tend their fields. [aka fulfill responsibilities]
- Manly men build manly men. [aka set good examples and father well]
- Manly men live to the glory of God. [aka live up to standards higher than Man]
Mansfield and Beck agreed that the country needs a similar book for women. Watching them discuss those maxims, comparable maxims for women jumped from my mind as the summary of 850,000 words in What Women Never Hear. I jotted and have only reordered them. I present them to you for Christmas.
Dean’s FEMININE MAXIMS
- Feminine women exemplify moral living.
- Feminine women tend their relationships.
- Feminine women tame and civilize male aggressiveness.
- Feminine women inspire men to respect and love others.
I leave you with this encouraging thought. Merged, stirred, and melted into human behavior, these MAXIMS can make everything better once again.