271. After conquest the infatuated but less-than-fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, booty, live in, or wife if necessary. 
272. Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. His appreciation, respect, and her value go up as he tries to overcome difficulty achieving his goal. Also, how he handles her objections and obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her, if he has the potential to become devoted to her. 
273. The feminist ideology wraps the female heart with meanness toward men. It breeds selfishness and self-centeredness and injects female ugliness into relationships. It makes women stand up inside and figuratively shake a fist at men. It pushes men to fight back with what often become abuse, abandonment, and violence. 
274. Instead of relying on the feminine side of their nature, modern women fish with exposed breasts and net a man with sex. But they can’t hold him. In that way, women pay the price of politicized and socialized elitism. (For specific differences, see the series Dark Side of Feminism) 
275. Acting feminine maximizes a woman’s value to herself and men. By doing so, she uplifts her self-worth, enlarges her self-image, and broadens her self-interest. She likes herself as girl, female, woman, mother, grandmother, and girlfriend. Masculine men react the same but in manlier roles. 
276. Men respond to feminine women by becoming more responsible, which encourages women to become more feminine. 
277. Feminine behavior attracts men to rise above themselves and accept domestic and fatherly responsibility. A woman’s feminine spirit makes her appear vulnerable and challenges good men. One will admire himself with thoughts of taking care of her. 
278. Femininity encourages girls to listen and duplicate mother’s and even grandmother’s experience. This enables each generation to improve on its ability to tame and harness male dominance into fulfilling female hopes and dreams. 
279. If she makes it easy for him to know her, she makes it hard for him to keep her. Mystery captivates. Candidness victimizes her with whatever strengths of dominance he chooses to use. 
280. The greatest male candidate for marriage has unconditional respect for the opposite sex that exceeds respect for his own sex. The same applies to women candidates, but it’s easier to observe in women than men. 
Tag Archives: feminine
271. After conquest the infatuated but less-than-fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, booty, live in, or wife if necessary. 
261. A woman who uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Dependence on attention and affection are not enough. 
262. A man’s discoveries and impressions of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her. 
263. A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes as he penetrates her pleasant friendliness and works hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling. 
264. If after they marry she waters down her help, support, gratitude, and encouragement for who and what he is, she may also want to research where the local exes recovery group is meeting. 
265. A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to earn self-admiration and satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can make a satisfactory and permanent accommodation. 
266. A man’s not truly interested in her if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her. 
267. If she expects her feminist leanings, attitude, and political expectations to override his natural masculine behaviors, her value to him will diminish over time. 
268. A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential for a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one. Women are the same regarding men and one man. 
269. A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s unqualified to be his keeper. 
270. After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or else he moves on. 
Peach Blossoms posed these questions at article 1228: “How does a woman strike a balance between keeping him interested and not letting him become discouraged if he can’t get to the first kiss? How to defer it without making him feel like she might be leading him on?” My response grew.
Your Highness Peach Blossoms,
You focus on the negatives so drop that mindset. You worry that you’ll do something wrong. We all make mistakes and that’s why recovery is everything. Also, don’t look for balance, let it arrive naturally.
Try a different slant on life. Your attitude will be weighed by a man because it reflects what’s in your heart. The more nonsexual attention, admiration, respect, and gratitude you express to and about a man, the more your heart becomes programmed to sincerely reflect your feelings about him. He wants to see your love, not hear about it.
- Primarily it works like this. Your words about him program your heart. Your actions influence his heart and convince his mind. His actions that please you program his heart toward devotion. Unfortunately, loving and loveable words about your love merely increase your self-centeredness. A man doesn’t need to hear about your love for him; he becomes convinced as he hears your appreciation of who he is and what he does.
- A man easily respects an unconquered woman who has the self-respect to resist his appeals for sex. She earns respect by apparently living up to something more important. Her resistance helps promote his determination to mate with her because resistance and sincerity promote the promise of her faithfulness. It also makes first kiss much less important. If he sees promise that she can enhance his life, he can wait longer without it weakening his interest.
- You have standards. So, make them plain, don’t complain, and don’t explain. When you complain, you blame and no guy wants to hear it; he instinctively rejects guilt. When you explain, you weaken your own standards, show lack of self-respect, display lack of self-confidence, and otherwise make yourself appear less respectable. It’s not good because a man’s love is founded on respect for women generally and one in particular.
- Avoid deep personal matters but show friendly attention, wonder, respect, and gratitude for who he is as a unique person, handy man, and powerful achiever in both job and leisure pursuits. However, praise only what you want to see more of. Don’t verbalize about the undesirable but use it to determine if he’s really the one for you.
- Find laughter to defer seriousness, pay attention to him as a friend rather than potential lover, and make yourself so appealing in his company that he wants to be with you instead of somewhere else. His devotion grows from his actions to please you. (Complaints about his absences work directly against you. You’re saying he’s inadequate and he rejects the guilt by turning his eyes elsewhere.)
- But don’t try too hard and overdo it. Be yourself and act feminine. Indirectness sells you better. Respond to his nonsexual initiatives affirmatively. Respond to his sex-slanted initiatives with Whoa and No in the air but not verbalized until essential to get him to stop or change. Forget your soft-hearted nature and put your hard-headed nature to work indirectly and as subtle as practicable. Hard-to-get is greatly undersold. Resistance to yielding is the primary method for a female to earn male respect, because a man infers so readily that she is and would continue to be faithful to him.
- Make it your standard to provide as little feedback as possible when your expectations are not respected. The more feedback you provide, the more judgmental he becomes with the new info. The less feedback you provide on negative issues, the more mysterious you become.
- First kiss leads to a faster conquest. So, all delays help you control the premarital agenda. While trying to find what makes you tick and what rounds your heels for conquest, a guy learns about your character, the potential you possibly hold for his future, and the promise he sees in you as his mate. The longer and deeper he has to dig to find what will finally roll you into his bed, the more his appreciation morphs into promise of you as his mate.
Finally, be aware that men don’t act like women act.
- When a man conquers a woman, he doesn’t bond. He already knows enough about her and so he changes. He stops trying to find out who she is and what promise she might hold for him. He has less interest, and so he quits delving deeper into her heart and mind. He quits ferreting out what dwells within her and his respect for her peaks. If not devoted to her by that time, he’s less likely to spend his life with her.
- Men don’t need and often don’t want the love and loving that women crave. While they are emotional creatures, they think and act more on facts than feelings. They keep their feelings to themselves. It’s not your love and loving that captures or holds a man; it’s the promise he visualizes as the result of your actions much more than your words.
The happy season is upon us. I have to take a break for family and travel. So, I leave this unusual post for you to ponder while in good spirits.
I was inspired by an outstanding thinker and prominent author. On hearing him, I copied his style and uncovered a precise summary of What Women Never Hear. He identifies one side of the equation to restore male-female compatibility. I identify the other side.
On his December 11 TV show, Glenn Beck interviewed Stephen Mansfield, author of Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men—An Utterly Invigorating Guide to Being Your Most Masculine Self. The author summarized his book with this. (I add the brackets to describe my understanding of his principles.)
Mansfield’s MANLY MAXIMS
- Manly men do manly things. [aka not female things]
- Manly men tend their fields. [aka fulfill responsibilities]
- Manly men build manly men. [aka set good examples and father well]
- Manly men live to the glory of God. [aka live up to standards higher than Man]
Mansfield and Beck agreed that the country needs a similar book for women. Watching them discuss those maxims, comparable maxims for women jumped from my mind as the summary of 850,000 words in What Women Never Hear. I jotted and have only reordered them. I present them to you for Christmas.
Dean’s FEMININE MAXIMS
- Feminine women exemplify moral living.
- Feminine women tend their relationships.
- Feminine women tame and civilize male aggressiveness.
- Feminine women inspire men to respect and love others.
I leave you with this encouraging thought. Merged, stirred, and melted into human behavior, these MAXIMS can make everything better once again.
Girls have an instinctive ability to handle boys. However, many lack enough talent and skills to win consistently. New knowledge improves talent and broadens skills. So, squeeze this baker’s dozen of truisms into your thinking of the future.
- HardToGet keeps a girl in the driver’s seat. Non-passionate relations make the best bus tires for rolling over the hottest boys.
- Self-respect counts most in a girl’s character. Without it, self-confidence plummets. Earning self-confidence builds self-respect. So, she gets what she earns as she pursues her hopes and dreams.
- A girl’s happy future with a happy mate depends more on his integrity than anything else. Integrity strengthens mutual respect, commitment to marriage, devotion to her, and his vow-keeping.
- A busted courtship shouldn’t be such a big deal. Multiple courtships pay off. Her man’s character depends on her making enough wrong judgments to learn how to choose the best man for her.
- Ladylike behavior, high modesty standards, and moral expectations stir men to be gentlemanly in a woman’s presence. It also works for girls.
- A boy takes interest in a girl for two prime reasons. Fixation on sex energizes him temporarily. Desire for her admiration focuses him on long-term possibilities. If she enables the former, she can forget the latter.
- Self-respect fades when you give what you oughtn’t, do what you shouldn’t, or suffer what you needn’t.
- Do what’s right, avoid what’s wrong, but more importantly, always do what you should.
- Kissing does matter. Sensuous suggests the rightness of you for him. Passionate suggests the rightness of him for sex.
- Guilt guides your life, so start now affirming your intention and ability to do what you should. Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself and don’t look back. Old guilt leads to depression when loaded with doubt about how you previously handled it.
- A boy respects what he can’t conquer. He respects chastity in general and especially a girl’s abstinence with him. A man’s love rests on a firm foundation of respect for a woman. Boys want sex, and so he keeps trying. Where else can she get enough respect, unless she keeps denying sex but not disrespecting his trying?
- Feminine beats plain femaleness. Mystery beats full disclosure. Modesty beats masculine morality. Monogamy beats sexual freedom. All of it makes males back off from their naturally dominant personas, which helps fulfill female hopes and dreams.
- If you can train boys to follow your conscience, you’re well on the way to excellent relationship expertise.
Congratulations to everyone that completed boot camp. Only you know who you are but reward yourself some way. I’m proud of you.
Regular WWNH broadcasting resumes tomorrow.
PROBLEM. A lady asked for advice. I don’t like to give it, because I never know the full story or characters. But she struck me differently. So, I respond below and invite readers to comment, if I have missed the boat.
Her Highness Elizabeth said: “I think I’m a very feminine woman, especially considering my age (40). Recently, I made a poor choice because I was feeling lonely and needy. I met a great guy, but revealed my feelings way too early. I think I scared him off. Is there a tactful way to re-approach or should I retreat and leave it up to him to re-approach?”
FIRST RESPONSE. Don’t re-approach and don’t retreat. There’s only one tactful way. Recover! Recovery cures pain, if you do it your own way. (See below.) But first:
- If he was scared off by your feelings, he wasn’t after you. He was after sex. You didn’t scare him off; he was unwilling to pay your price to continue.
- Also, don’t take personal whatever he did. He focused on what all women have to offer, and none are unique until he conquers them.
- If you run into him, ignore him as much as courtesy permits. Act as if he never happened. Reveal no regrets or shame. If he tries to renew acquaintance, make him pay a heavier price than others have to pay just to capture and hold your attention. If he won’t, he’s still not after you, just sex. Smile anyway.
- If he seeks to rekindle the spark, don’t let it happen. Treat him as just another dude that you reject, but do it courteously and smilingly. Help him realize that he missed out on a great thing, but he has missed out.
- If he repeatedly over time tries many different ways to patch things up, it could make a difference. You’re still competing over sex, so test whether he’s after you or sex. This might help: “Yes, I’ll date you again, if we start over and you honor without pestering me about my [newfound but] absolute requirement: No sex outside of marriage.”
SECOND RESPONSE. Go on the attack. Reassert, reconfirm, and re-love yourself to yourself in all your glorious independence. Being free of him and his baggage, you deserve it.
- Develop a new habit or two that exposes you to men when you’re alone. For example, start an exercise program. Spend an hour at Starbucks once or twice a week reading a book (but not your laptop; with it you’re not alone). Go to church alone after reading post #42. In all you do make enjoyment of yourself your primary objective. Don’t think about attracting or capturing a man, or you’ll respond poorly to guys that want to rescue you from your loneliness.
- I strongly urge upgrading your appearance in public. Ditch comfort clothing and easy-to-groom appearance. Spend more time fixing up. Add some class when painting the barn.
- Groom and dress classier and more feminine than other females. Change your hair style to something more feminine. It’s not that you necessarily need it, but improvements attract attention, your feminine spirit and confidence will soar, more men will take notice, and you’ll have a new pack of candidates.
- To select a good candidate, you should have several to choose from. But men won’t anoint themselves, unless you appear striking to their manly eyes. Striking to men means more attractive than others nearby or in their minds’ eye.
- Recover? Yes! And do it in your most mysterious, modest, and feminine way? Let your feminine glory shine so the world knows you’re more than just alive.
HOMEWORK. I also suggest reviewing three series listed in the CONTENTS page titled HardToGet, HardToGet Pays Off, and Virtual Virginity. They may help restore you to attack mode. (Don’t look for answers but focus on educating Self about men and you.)
RECAP. My themes above may be overshadowed by the details. Stick to the themes! Retreat when dumped? Never! Re-approach him? Never! Both signify desperation, and men love to capitalize on the weakened hard-headedness and the too-mushy kind-heartedness of desperate females.
Good luck, Your Ladyship, but remember that luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Why did the female gender throw out glamour as a theme for distinguishing women from men? Glamour adds an extra touch of class to a female’s presentation to both herself and others. Why have modern women given it up?
Encarta Dictionary shows three definitions of glamour:
1. Exciting allure—an irresistible alluring quality that somebody or something possesses by virtue of seeming much more exciting, romantic, or fashionable than ordinary people or things.
2. Expensive good looks—striking physical good looks or sexual impact, especially when it is enhanced with highly fashionable clothes or makeup.
3. Spell—a magical spell or charm.
Wouldn’t women be blessed if they had any of those descriptions? Well, it doesn’t come naturally. The great wealth of American society enables and encourages it, but women have to exploit it.
Glamour adds great feminine value to women. When glamorous attractiveness makes her act and appear ladylike, men are pushed inescapably toward gentlemanly behavior. Not totally for getting sex either, but out of more respect for her. Ladylike appearance by itself quiets a man’s boldness for sex but lights his energy for finding out more about her.
Now, admittedly, I don’t do night life, so I don’t see what women look like going out at night. But, if daytime at work or shopping is any indication, they have no reason to blame men. Most women look common and stand out for nothing but sex targeting. Many invite hits and many don’t, but they all long for gentlemanly pursuit.
Whatever the reasons, it’s as if army riflemen were pushed into battle without ammunition. They would be ill-equipped to capture the enemy’s attention, hold him at a distance, and take control of whatever situations arise. Instead, their only option would be to readily lay down their arms.
Why do women do it? That’s tomorrow at #741.