451. Sex does not bond men, but the opportunity for conquest conquers his attention and holds it tightly until a woman gives in. This facet of his nature enables virtual virginity to work for her. 
452. This puts the courtship agenda in her hands: (1) Her hard-headedness prevails over both her soft-heartedness and his hard-headed and hard-hearted persistence for sex. (2) She tests and retests him to be the potential right man for life together. (3) She continues to reject sexual relations at least until number two is proven and engagement or preferably marriage follows. 
453. The curse of modern adolescence is this. Girls too highly value boys and having a boyfriend. More so, in fact, than they value feminine, modest, moral, female-empowering, and self-protective behaviors. When boys butt their hormone-soaked heads up against the brick wall of ardent feminine standards, it teaches girls the well-hidden truths about the male nature and how to avoid future life as some guy’s ex. 
454. Women age most gracefully and charmingly when they intensify their natural femininity early in life. Duplicating the male persona ages women prematurely and leaves them with little grace and charm for their elder years. 
455. Women are naturally well-equipped with a cooperative spirit, indirectness, nurture-power, soft-heartedness, and natural but unoffending hard-headedness. These strengths help balance their man’s dominance. Each successful balancing event reinforces her efforts, strengthens her influence, and enlarges his respect. 
456. Extraordinary women arise from this model to hold the respect of men for life: She keeps herself looking pretty and modest, fairly independent, and attractive to men. However, she automatically tests any man she encounters as if for a relationship. She doesn’t relate well with those unworthy of her. It applies to all men, not just her man. 
457. Femininity in early life captures a man’s attention. Femininity practiced ardently over their years together gradually empowers her as family matriarch in later life. 
458. Femininity best improves a woman’s lot in life by inspiring a man to adopt her social and domestic values and expectations usually built upon her girlhood hopes and dreams. But it calls for indirectness, cooperation, patience, and charm used to admire his significance, demo her respect, and show gratitude for and dependence on who he is and what he does. 
459. Whether done by one or many women, feminine values and standards upheld strongly and persistently against unmarried sex go far toward reducing male dominance, aggressiveness, and violence. (First principle of masculine behavior: Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Second principle: Men even marry if that’s required.) 
460. He measures his manly prowess by her worth after his conquest. Much of her retention value hinges on it. He wonders roundabout and over time: Now that I have, who else conquered this woman, if she is to be anything more than a used sex target to me? 
Tag Archives: Femininity
451. Sex does not bond men, but the opportunity for conquest conquers his attention and holds it tightly until a woman gives in. This facet of his nature enables virtual virginity to work for her. 
Remember the multiplex of misery? Unwanted singleness, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, despair, divorce, depression, childlessness, dreariness, gloom, and prospects of doom. I can’t tell you how, but you can figure out how an inexpensive escape is possible and practical. The mirror is your interstate exit.
To depart the multiplex for a more agreeable life, take this exit ramp. 1) Find or rig a mirror before which you can sit in privacy. 2) Have a copy of the list of default attitudes at hand. 3) Determine to spend a prescribed amount of time every morning at the mirror. For the first three months, sit for at least 30 minutes. 4) Share each default attitude item by item with your reflected best friend. 5) Analyze and compare the upcoming day with the list. Look for attitudes that can improve whatever challenges/problems you expect. Follow that by analyzing and comparing all else in your life—yourself, your nature, and those people and things of importance to you. Weigh those things against each item on the list. 6) Select and commit to strengthening those attitudes that have hope for resolving whatever problems you see ahead. 7) Determine before others start their day exactly what they will encounter in you. Kind, friendly, upbeat, helpful, encouraging, enterprising? Or firm, hardened, obstinate? Competing for dominance or cooperating for harmony? In gentle control of self or demanding that others listen to your gripes? Dependent on self or others to lift your spirits?
How you start the day determines how the day turns out. How you dress for the day determines how you act during the day. How your morning demeanor strikes your family determines how they like or dislike their day. Your finish of the day improves when you start the day by taking control of yourself, and well-programmed time at the mirror enables it best.
Restore vanity and modesty to your life and appreciate the results. Learn to identify the roots and appreciate the effects of newfound gratefulness. Continue it daily until you become a woman totally happy with yourself and thus capable of breathing the same spirit into those around you. That is the intended role of woman.
Like nothing else can, your reflection will reveal who and what you really are. Self-talk with that best friend will reveal how to fix problems, resolve issues, handle disruptive people, maintain relationships, and ultimately morph your reflection into the hopes-and-dreams kind of life you envisioned as a girl. The benefits to self are potentially endless. Here’s how and why it can work for those who can figure and work things out for themselves.
- Deep-rooted and natural femininity conquers the masculine spirit. Men yield to the superior and uplifting spirit of females as long as it doesn’t appear that way to the men.
- Men are neither born to be happy nor very interested in earning it. If they gain it, fine, but no big deal if they’re not as happy as women crave. However, women are born to be happy, but you have to earn it. You do so by finding gratitude in things and people of importance to you.
- You became aware that you’re a female about the third year of life. You also became aware of your girlish gratefulness for yourself, which grew as you developed (although adults may have fed you many discouraging thoughts and the pop culture finished the job as you morphed into an adult).
- You’re a person entitled to the best life you can produce. Also, you’re either in or out of a relationship as the result of choices you made. You have free will, made your own choices, and have already paid some cost with more costs to come. Room exists for improvement, which provides better options to choose from, which lowers the emotional cost to you.
- You are your own best problem solver! Not any man, not even yours! He’s but a helper. You are naturally endowed to be and do the best for you.
- Women have two magnificent abilities that men lack. You can read other people, and you are the best fixer-upper of self. Reading men enables you to maximize both yours and your man’s influence and effectiveness. Self-inspiration and self-talk work better than pressure and frustration to fix up your spirits, confidence, and influences within your relationships. To do it super-well, however, requires huge amounts of self-gratitude, which are findable at the mirror.
- Escaping boredom at the mirror pushes you to examine and compare everything in your life. Out of those things and the default attitudes in your female nature, you can discover ways to gain more control and smooth out your life.
- The mirror enables two mentally healthful operations. 1) You peer inside yourself to see what no one else is allowed to see and much less understand. 2) You look in with what’s on your mind, and your reflection reveals what’s in your heart. Your mirror-time job is to rectify the differences, and the more you side with your heart, then the easier you find more femininity and more gratefulness for who and what you are in the world around you.
- When selfishness enters your mind, your reflection squelches it. Truth conquers because selfishness is not part of the female nature. (It’s a behavior usually learned in childhood.)
- Using self-talk brings on the self-fulfilling prophecy. SFP: We are all influenced and tend to live up to the expectations of ourselves plus those of others who play important roles in our lives.
Now, that’s a batch of promises. They don’t come quickly or easily. Out of it, however, a happier life can emerge. At least the multiplex of misery can be lightened or avoided. It starts with mirror time.
Self-gratitude is the habit of claiming gratefulness for who you are and what you do. It keeps your heart overflowing with your importance and worth as person and as female fulfilling your multiple roles in life. Self-gratitude floods your heart when you follow and reinforce your natural feminine qualities pretty much as God intended, Nature trains, and hormones push you.
Created to be good, you do good by following your heart. When you reinforce your self-gratitude daily, it enables you to focus on life outside yourself, which in return confirm your claims of self-importance and add to your self-worth.
In modern life this seems almost a universal fault. Influences contrary to self-gratitude are inculcated in childhood and doomed to continue later in life. As the direct result, women pay too little attention to keeping their ego sufficiently protected, self-love sufficiently inflated, self-worth sufficiently appreciated, and self-gratitude sufficiently reinforced, that is, DAILY.
And it works in reverse to simplify and ease a changeover. Even if you have to fake it for awhile, you can adopt individual default attitudes and find yourself doing that for which God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize you. You don’t copy or act like men. Instead, you act uniquely different, take pride in it, and expect to be honored for it. It makes you worth what men are willing to pay in lost independence in order to have you for a mate.
On the other hand, to the extent you copy masculine characteristics, you lose self-gratitude. For example: 1) Promiscuity steals your joy. Joyless women can’t be very grateful. 2) Competing with husband drives him away. While you may be grateful for winning battles, it vaporizes on losing the war. 3) Sloppy appearance destroys manly interest. Grateful for attracting male eyes reinforces your self-importance, but its absence weakens self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth.
The more intense is your self-gratitude and more wide-spread across your personality, character, and roles in life, then the more capable and influential you are. Your relationship expertise expands, and you’re more capable of fixing relationship issues. It also prepares you better to deal with all aspects of life.
The shortage of self-gratitude waters down other gratefulness that is essential for your happiness. Serendipitously, the more grateful you are for yourself, the more grateful for others and things. But the reverse doesn’t work. With insufficient self-gratitude, declaring your gratefulness for others and things actually forces comparisons that question and weaken self-gratitude.
However, recovery is everything and each woman is capable. More to follow when the default attitudes are posted soon.
As a modern woman, even though member of the superior sex, you lose macro and micro influence and negotiating power in direct proportion as you lack self-gratitude. The reverse is also true. The greater is your self-gratitude dealing with men and their natural expectation to dominate women, then the greater is your influence in matters concerning other self-interests. Men lose negotiating power when you rectify your life with great gobs of self-gratitude. Living up to your nature is living up to something bigger than yourself, and also endows you with the moral high ground.
When you exploit your natural femininity, you focus less on present matters in exchange for greater influence in shaping the lives most important to you. You promote compatibility and maintain harmony the easy way. Moreover, you contribute somewhat to universally helping men find the satisfaction and women the happiness they respectively crave. It’s your self-gratitude that empowers your awesomeness over men and female opponents on matters of your heart, life, and future.
NOTE: I can’t say it often enough. I have no objections to the legal, political, and economic progress made by women. Advancements were deserved long before they were won. I address Feminism only as the public fallout impacts social and domestic life among men and women.
371. The feminist challenge to millennia-old patriarchy is the fundamental cause of incompatibility. It separates the sexes, because it uses outside help in the form of public pressure to help prove women right and men wrong. Thus, Feminism leads women away from their natural strengths and relationship expertise. Misdirected, women give up their instinctive art of screening men until they become worthy of capture. Instead of dreaming of upgrading their Mr. Good Enough into Mr. Right during decades of living together, they try to ‘convert’ him immediately before or after marriage. 
372. Feminist-think calls for human nature to work backwards. Nowadays, women cooperate with each other for advice about men and unify support against them. They compete with their man for dominance. The first tends to prevent and the latter tends to melt compatibility. 
373. When women think and act like men, it transmutes into loss of the female genius that every couple needs to build longevity together. Romantic love fades faster. Sexual love becomes her manipulative tool. Enduring love doesn’t become mutual. Marital vows shrink in importance. One or both spouses become itchy to make a better go of it with someone else. 
374. The human competitive spirit and modern social pressures push women to act more like men—♫ I can do anything he can do better. ♫ Women imagine success and frustration arises at the lack of it. Frustration pushes them to escalate until they become the irresistible force trying to move the immovable object. Thus, womanly frustration generates greater manly stubbornness. 
375. A man’s love is founded on respect. And men respect women that persistently uphold values and standards that uplift women relative to men but not at the expense of men. It includes values and standards that men don’t initiate but value people who do. Femininity builds such respect, and Feminism discourages it. 
376. One woman says this. “Men need femininity. They call it ‘color in a black and white world.’ It heals their wounds, soothes their spirits and recharges their batteries. It is one of the things men look for in their wives; someone who makes them more powerful by feeding them with their femininity.” [‘Claudia’ as quoted in Keys to the Kingdom by Alison A. Armstrong, PAX Programs, Inc., p. 151] 
377. Femininity reflects intense femaleness with politics removed. It includes female traits that women rely on naturally to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Qualities such as feminine mystique, female modesty, religious morality, faithful monogamy, female-defined manners, female-friendly social standards, compassionate values, holy matrimony, and an eager-to-reveal emphasis against offense to a woman’s sensibilities. Femininity generates personal power dealing with men, because it enables women to reduce the hormone storms of male dominance—sometimes into submission or at least toleration. 
378. When the female gender institutionalizes the feminine qualities just cited, men learn to respect females more than males. Their unconditional respect for women provides the foundation for the conditional respect for one woman who eventually transmutes into the enduring love that sustains compatibility for life. A man’s enduring love of one woman isn’t all that strong, if he lacks respect for her gender. Old-school mothers made it work. Our forefathers built American greatness out of wifely inspirations, expectations, encouragements, and gratefulness shrouded in femininity. 
379. Our foremothers knew male dominance has to be outsmarted and outmaneuvered and not squelched obviously. They generated and sustained compatibility very differently than modern women. First, they competed with other women for a man with sex out of the picture. Sex was the bonus after he qualified as worthy to be her husband and father of her children. Second, they cooperated with their husband and revealed their respect and gratefulness by pleasing him. 
380.Further, our foremothers exploited their femaleness to clarify two very different and cooperative roles as a couple—separate responsibilities for each. His domain was outside the home, hers inside. He was chairman, she was CEO. With clearly separated roles, they balanced relationship power without outside influence. 
311. This is to introduce a specific set of axioms that will follow in the days ahead.
It exploded about 50 years ago. Compatibility was dumped into a hellish hand basket by the radical political movement that became Feminism. The articles in days ahead will cite many causes and effects, some connections and consequences, and lay groundwork for dozens of axioms that follow in this series. Also, I continue to avoid women’s political, legal, and economic issues and progress. I will focus exclusively on social and domestic consequences.
Feminism crushed the concept of feminine dignity, devalued female prettiness, and destroyed the social construct of the lady and lady-like behavior. It mocked gentlemanly behavior, which taught men to focus primarily on sex appeal, which turned women exclusively into sex objects, which discouraged women from other-than-sexy appearance, which reduced the social value and self-worth of less naturally endowed women.
Feminism continues to immobilize women into classes of physical attractiveness, which focuses masculine interest on nines and tens, which weakens female ability to compete for men, which encourages women to more easily yield sex, which enables men to avoid living up to female standards and expectations, which turns females toward masculine-style sexual freedom, which uplifts men over women, which makes women second-class, which enlarges male dominance, which reduces husbandly responsibility, which weakens marital compatibility, which disappoints female hopes and dreams, which tears down the family unit, which threatens the American way of life, which energizes me to write this blog, and which convinces me that only women can improve their conditions both living among men and with one.
Following shortly in this series of Compatibility Axioms are many female-unfriendly concepts and thoughts brought to us by feminists and their political theories. Their impact against compatibility should be obvious.
P.S. I capitalize Feminism and use it as the polar opposite of Femininity.
First came the Feminazis, as Rush Limbaugh called them. A dozen or so hard-hearted women hated men, and they politicked and socially and legally engineered the U.S. into Feminism. Many generations* later their political offspring stir society against men. Whether gay, hetero, or ‘neutero’ as prime mover, they seek to sit astraddle the masculine world as dominant figures armed mostly with political correctness, sour attitudes, bitterness, and dreams of matriarchy.
Beware the Feminators! You know them: Faux-butchy, near-dykey, the ones that usually have the really short hair and act a lot like men. Feminators, close cousins of terminators, are skilled at killing things, such as relationships. Also, their terminator attitude enables them to heal easily and without apparent treatment from those outside their circle.
The Feminators arose from the ashes of Feminism after it started to decay late last century. They are the ones least able to adjust their thinking and adapt their living outside the theories of Feminism. Instead of bending back toward Femininity as most women do, they perpetuate Feminism’s theories, propaganda, and values through political correctness.
How and why the country got in such a cultural mess is the subject of this series, and it continues next week with Feminator Friday II.
*Consider a generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often new generations of children makeover whatever their older siblings used as values, standards, and expectations. Consequently, looking at the past half-century, seven generations compounded whatever went before them.
The previous Male Matrix series focused on men looking at their masculine competitors. Here we look at men looking at women for one thing: suitability for marriage. Nothing as discrete as qualifications—too much variance in individual male tastes—but overall suitability based on just two parameters.
Feminism and Femininity are used for simple reasons: Feminism is basically anti-male, which turns off men. Femininity is basically pro-female, which attracts men. I assume every woman to be a mixture of the two, and men strongly prefer the latter and the more latter the better.
I use the dark side of Feminism that impacts social, domestic, and family relationships. I exclude the economic, political, and legal gains that women have made. Femininity is the natural expression of true femaleness, and it registers as opposite and contrary to Feminism.
Broad suitability for marriage enables men to figure out, evaluate, and accept or reject what doesn’t fit their requirements and expectations. It’s a piece of cake to rule out a woman for marriage; it’s quite a task to rule her suitable for a test run.
Each woman’s behavior pattern and belief system are part Feminism and part Femininity. Her ratio shows in the chart below. She can select the vertical column that best describes her and guesstimate her relative standing as viewed by the male community.
|AS PERCEIVED BY MEN–>||UNSUITABLE AS WIFE FOR REAL MAN||SUITABLE AS WIFE FOR REAL MAN||IDEALLY SUITED AS WIFE FOR REAL MAN|
|Her Feminism beliefs and behaviors||10||9||8||7||6||5||4||3||2||1||0|
|Her Femininity beliefs and behaviors||0||1||2||3||4||5||6||7||8||9||10|
|Select the over and under combination above that best identifies her ratio of Feminism to Femininity. The two numbers must equal the sum shown on this line.||10||10||10||10||10||10||10||10||10||10||10|
|As perceived by men: A=alpha, B=beta, G=Gamma||A||A||A||B||B||B||B||B||G||G||G|
As perceived by women–>
|Why unsuitable? She has a right to be herself. Men are to blame for social and domestic ills.||WYSIWYG, what you see is what you get. Men are biased against independence in a woman except for the money she brings home.||Not everyone wants to pay the feminine price to win a man. Why aren’t men more assertive at pursuing these women?|
The foregoing describes initial perceptions of men about the marital suitability of women. What really counts in the end when dealing with men—details about the meanings, importance, and consequences of Feminism and Femininity—are scattered elsewhere in the blog.
NOTE: The vertical lines that don’t quite align with the nearest ones reflect inability rather than intent.
This post responds to Her Highness Abigail. At #875 she opined: “I wish it was easier to figure out which men are ready and which are playing around before you spend too much time on them.”
Ben Franklin guides us well on this point: He said the way to help people out of poverty is to make them uncomfortable in it. Women can make men uncomfortable in their immaturity and thus enable greater maturity.
The more signs of immaturity he displays, the more likely he’s just playing around. It doesn’t seem just, but it’s a fair way for women to find out what they need to reduce risk and wasted time. Moreover, just evaluating men for signs of maturity adds maturity to her.
Females that ask personal questions make men uncomfortable. They have four ways to respond: Tell her what she wants to hear. Dodge, evade, or fake it until she thinks he makes it. Get the heck away from her. Or, finally and toughest, he can respond hesitantly, cautiously, and very unsmoothly but to the best of his earnestness, ability, and knowledge. Only the last option suggests maturity of the kind women should look for.
Now, as to the questions, don’t expect direct answers. Women should feel their way along and allow time for the guy to think things over and maybe respond in a day or so. Guys don’t normally think about such things, which is why women should inquire. Too rapid a response may indicate glibness rather than sincerity or well-developed opinion. He shows considerable maturity when he routinely takes time to answer but inevitably gets back on the toughest answers. He respects himself and her enough to respond with his best thinking.
The following will make men uncomfortable coming from a woman; he wonders what she’s after and immediately concludes marriage. So, the questions should be scattered, asked randomly as events broach the subject, and made much more indirect than shown here.
Responses provide reasons to measure a man’s maturity and immaturity. She’s the judge, and she should become good at inquiring, if she hopes to judge well and thus find a good man. These are examples and not a checklist. CAUTION: Pick and choose the best for you and focus on the themes more than the specific wording.
- What’s the last book you read? Any lessons you learned? Any facts that you can use? Any opinions that you developed? Recommend it for females? For me?
- What do you owe your boss? Your company? Your fellow employees? Those who support or help you in your employment?
- What’s the main theme for success in a male-female relationship? What’s vital? What’s fatal?
- Ever think about joining the military? Peace Corps? Missionary work? Pray much or lightly? Receive any joy in church?
- If you had to preach a sermon in church, what would you choose for subject?
- It’s been said that ambitious men need someplace to go early in the morning. They need it to add purpose to their life. Where would that be for you? What gets you moving in the morning?
- What’s your greatest ambition? To do what? When? How prepared are you to tackle it?
- Where did you get your work ethic? What is your work ethic? Not familiar with the term? Really?
- What female now highlights your life? No! Not me, of course. And not a love interest. What do they contribute to you?
- Who is the greatest male in your life? Why? What do or did you gain from your association?
- What do you like best about children? Least about them? If a relative died and left you as guardian of three children, what would you do and how would you do it?
- What do you dream of becoming? Of doing?
- Got a bucket list? No? Then how about we compile and compare our respective lists.
- What’s your best friend’s most admirable trait?
- Who do you admire the most? Why?
- What makes marriage work? Who has responsibility for what? Why?
- Do children help or hinder a marriage? Why? How many do you want? And what do you expect from them?
- If you could have one picture of anything you dream up on the wall at home or work, what would it be?
- If you could play any role in any movie you’ve ever seen, what would it be?
- What makes a man brave? Courageous? Have you ever been there?
- What made your father courageous? Your mother?
- What’s your greatest accomplishment? Really? That big? That important? Receive any recognition or honors? Do you miss what you didn’t receive?
- What does wifely submission mean to you? You know, how the bible describes it? What do their differing responsibilities show you? Who’s most responsible for marital success?
- What’s your favorite scripture? Where’d you learn it? Can you quote it?
- What’s your favorite religious song? Why? Can you sing it now?
- Do you support anyone or anything with contributions? Who else deserves your money?
- Who is your favorite teacher? Why? Did he/she help with your learning or with shaping your character? What changed about your character? What other benefits did you receive? What lingers with you today?
- For whom are you grateful? For what are you grateful? From where does your sense of gratitude come? Why should you even be grateful, if you get no more than the minimum?
- What do you like about femininity? Feminism? No, tell me something good about Feminism/feminists. There must be something!
- Can and will you describe your character to me?
Women always want to know more about their man. These suggestions provide opportunity to learn more. Uncovering his intentions by evaluating his maturity can determine whether he’s playing around or not. It guarantees nothing, but she’s the judge and can live with her decisions more easily than just guessing about his intentions.
It’s neither the questions nor the answers that count. It’s his reactions to many questions. Does he show effort, respect, and desire to please her in the numerous ways he reacts? Signs of his maturity lie therein.