Tag Archives: Femininity

1970. Compatibility Axioms #371-380


NOTE: I can’t say it often enough. I have no objections to the legal, political, and economic progress made by women. Advancements were deserved long before they were won. I address Feminism only as the public fallout impacts social and domestic life among men and women.

371. The feminist challenge to millennia-old patriarchy is the fundamental cause of incompatibility. It separates the sexes, because it uses outside help in the form of public pressure to help prove women right and men wrong. Thus, Feminism leads women away from their natural strengths and relationship expertise. Misdirected, women give up their instinctive art of screening men until they become worthy of capture. Instead of dreaming of upgrading their Mr. Good Enough into Mr. Right during decades of living together, they try to ‘convert’ him immediately before or after marriage. [134]
372. Feminist-think calls for human nature to work backwards. Nowadays, women cooperate with each other for advice about men and unify support against them. They compete with their man for dominance. The first tends to prevent and the latter tends to melt compatibility. [134]
373. When women think and act like men, it transmutes into loss of the female genius that every couple needs to build longevity together. Romantic love fades faster. Sexual love becomes her manipulative tool. Enduring love doesn’t become mutual. Marital vows shrink in importance. One or both spouses become itchy to make a better go of it with someone else. [134]
374. The human competitive spirit and modern social pressures push women to act more like men—♫ I can do anything he can do better. ♫ Women imagine success and frustration arises at the lack of it. Frustration pushes them to escalate until they become the irresistible force trying to move the immovable object. Thus, womanly frustration generates greater manly stubbornness. [134]
375. A man’s love is founded on respect. And men respect women that persistently uphold values and standards that uplift women relative to men but not at the expense of men. It includes values and standards that men don’t initiate but value people who do. Femininity builds such respect, and Feminism discourages it. [135]
376. One woman says this. “Men need femininity. They call it ‘color in a black and white world.’ It heals their wounds, soothes their spirits and recharges their batteries. It is one of the things men look for in their wives; someone who makes them more powerful by feeding them with their femininity.” [‘Claudia’ as quoted in Keys to the Kingdom by Alison A. Armstrong, PAX Programs, Inc., p. 151] [135]
377. Femininity reflects intense femaleness with politics removed. It includes female traits that women rely on naturally to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Qualities such as feminine mystique, female modesty, religious morality, faithful monogamy, female-defined manners, female-friendly social standards, compassionate values, holy matrimony, and an eager-to-reveal emphasis against offense to a woman’s sensibilities. Femininity generates personal power dealing with men, because it enables women to reduce the hormone storms of male dominance—sometimes into submission or at least toleration. [135]
378. When the female gender institutionalizes the feminine qualities just cited, men learn to respect females more than males. Their unconditional respect for women provides the foundation for the conditional respect for one woman who eventually transmutes into the enduring love that sustains compatibility for life. A man’s enduring love of one woman isn’t all that strong, if he lacks respect for her gender. Old-school mothers made it work. Our forefathers built American greatness out of wifely inspirations, expectations, encouragements, and gratefulness shrouded in femininity. [135]
379. Our foremothers knew male dominance has to be outsmarted and outmaneuvered and not squelched obviously. They generated and sustained compatibility very differently than modern women. First, they competed with other women for a man with sex out of the picture. Sex was the bonus after he qualified as worthy to be her husband and father of her children. Second, they cooperated with their husband and revealed their respect and gratefulness by pleasing him. [135]
380.Further, our foremothers exploited their femaleness to clarify two very different and cooperative roles as a couple—separate responsibilities for each. His domain was outside the home, hers inside. He was chairman, she was CEO. With clearly separated roles, they balanced relationship power without outside influence. [135]

 

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1957. Compatibility Axioms #311


311. This is to introduce a specific set of axioms that will follow in the days ahead.

It exploded about 50 years ago. Compatibility was dumped into a hellish hand basket by the radical political movement that became Feminism. The articles in days ahead will cite many causes and effects, some connections and consequences, and lay groundwork for dozens of axioms that follow in this series. Also, I continue to avoid women’s political, legal, and economic issues and progress. I will focus  exclusively on social and domestic consequences.

Feminism crushed the concept of feminine dignity, devalued female prettiness, and destroyed the social construct of the lady and lady-like behavior. It mocked gentlemanly behavior, which taught men to focus primarily on sex appeal, which turned women exclusively into sex objects, which discouraged women from other-than-sexy appearance, which reduced the social value and self-worth of less naturally endowed women.

Feminism continues to immobilize women into classes of physical attractiveness, which focuses masculine interest on nines and tens, which weakens female ability to compete for men, which encourages women to more easily yield sex, which enables men to avoid living up to female standards and expectations, which turns females toward masculine-style sexual freedom, which uplifts men over women, which makes women second-class, which enlarges male dominance, which reduces husbandly responsibility, which weakens marital compatibility, which disappoints female hopes and dreams, which tears down the family unit, which threatens the American way of life, which energizes me to write this blog, and which convinces me that only women can improve their conditions both living among men and with one.

Following shortly in this series of Compatibility Axioms are many female-unfriendly concepts and thoughts brought to us by feminists and their political theories. Their impact against compatibility should be obvious.

P.S. I capitalize Feminism and use it as the polar opposite of Femininity.

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1034. Feminators As Terminators I


First came the Feminazis, as Rush Limbaugh called them. A dozen or so hard-hearted women hated men, and they politicked and socially and legally engineered the U.S. into Feminism. Many generations* later their political offspring stir society against men. Whether gay, hetero, or ‘neutero’ as prime mover, they seek to sit astraddle the masculine world as dominant figures armed mostly with political correctness, sour attitudes, bitterness, and dreams of matriarchy.

Beware the Feminators! You know them: Faux-butchy, near-dykey, the ones that usually have the really short hair and act a lot like men.  Feminators, close cousins of terminators, are skilled at killing things, such as relationships. Also, their terminator attitude enables them to heal easily and without apparent treatment from those outside their circle.

The Feminators arose from the ashes of Feminism after it started to decay late last century. They are the ones least able to adjust their thinking and adapt their living outside the theories of Feminism. Instead of bending back toward Femininity as most women do, they perpetuate Feminism’s theories, propaganda, and values through political correctness.

How and why the country got in such a cultural mess is the subject of this series, and it continues next week with Feminator Friday II.

*Consider a generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often new generations of children makeover whatever their older siblings used as values, standards, and expectations. Consequently, looking at the past half-century, seven generations compounded whatever went before them.

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931. Each Woman a Ten


The previous Male Matrix series focused on men looking at their masculine competitors. Here we look at men looking at women for one thing: suitability for marriage. Nothing as discrete as qualifications—too much variance in individual male tastes—but overall suitability based on just two parameters.

Feminism and Femininity are used for simple reasons: Feminism is basically anti-male, which turns off men. Femininity is basically pro-female, which attracts men. I assume every woman to be a mixture of the two, and men strongly prefer the latter and the more latter the better.  

I use the dark side of Feminism that impacts social, domestic, and family relationships. I  exclude the economic, political, and legal gains that women have made. Femininity is the natural expression of true femaleness, and it registers as opposite and contrary to Feminism.

Broad suitability for marriage enables men to figure out, evaluate, and accept or reject what doesn’t fit their requirements and expectations. It’s a piece of cake to rule out a woman for marriage; it’s quite a task to rule her suitable for a test run.

Each woman’s behavior pattern and belief system are part Feminism and part Femininity. Her ratio shows in the chart below. She can select the vertical column that best describes her and guesstimate her relative standing as viewed by the male community.

 

AS PERCEIVED BY MEN–> UNSUITABLE AS WIFE FOR REAL MAN SUITABLE AS WIFE FOR REAL MAN IDEALLY SUITED AS WIFE FOR REAL MAN
Her Feminism beliefs and behaviors 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0
Her Femininity beliefs and behaviors 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Select the over and under combination above that best identifies her ratio of Feminism to Femininity.  The two numbers must equal the sum shown on this line. 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10
As perceived by men: A=alpha, B=beta, G=Gamma A A A B B B B B G G G
 

As perceived by women–>

Why unsuitable? She has a right to be herself. Men are to blame for social and domestic ills. WYSIWYG, what you see is what you get. Men are biased against independence in a woman except for the money she brings home. Not everyone wants to pay the feminine price to win a man. Why aren’t men more assertive at pursuing these women?

The foregoing describes initial perceptions of men about the marital suitability of women. What really counts in the end when dealing with mendetails about the meanings, importance, and consequences of Feminism and Femininityare scattered elsewhere in the blog.

NOTE: The vertical lines that don’t quite align with the nearest ones reflect inability rather than intent.  

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878. Is He Serious or Playing Around?


This post responds to Her Highness Abigail. At #875 she opined: “I wish it was easier to figure out which men are ready and which are playing around before you spend too much time on them.”

Ben Franklin guides us well on this point: He said the way to help people out of poverty is to make them uncomfortable in it. Women can make men uncomfortable in their immaturity and thus enable greater maturity.

The more signs of immaturity he displays, the more likely he’s just playing around. It doesn’t seem just, but it’s a fair way for women to find out what they need to reduce risk and wasted time. Moreover, just evaluating men for signs of maturity adds maturity to her.

Females that ask personal questions make men uncomfortable. They have four ways to respond: Tell her what she wants to hear. Dodge, evade, or fake it until she thinks he makes it. Get the heck away from her. Or, finally and toughest, he can respond hesitantly, cautiously, and very unsmoothly but to the best of his earnestness, ability, and knowledge. Only the last option suggests maturity of the kind women should look for.

Now, as to the questions, don’t expect direct answers. Women should feel their way along and allow time for the guy to think things over and maybe respond in a day or so. Guys don’t normally think about such things, which is why women should inquire. Too rapid a response may indicate glibness rather than sincerity or well-developed opinion. He shows considerable maturity when he routinely takes time to answer but inevitably gets back on the toughest answers. He respects himself and her enough to respond with his best thinking.

The following will make men uncomfortable coming from a woman; he wonders what she’s after and immediately concludes marriage. So, the questions should be scattered, asked randomly as events broach the subject, and made much more indirect than shown here.

Responses provide reasons to measure a man’s maturity and immaturity. She’s the judge, and she should become good at inquiring, if she hopes to judge well and thus find a good man. These are examples and not a checklist. CAUTION: Pick and choose the best for you and focus on the themes more than the specific wording.

  1. What’s the last book you read? Any lessons you learned? Any facts that you can use? Any opinions that you developed? Recommend it for females? For me?
  2. What do you owe your boss? Your company? Your fellow employees? Those who support or help you in your employment?
  3. What’s the main theme for success in a male-female relationship? What’s vital? What’s fatal?
  4. Ever think about joining the military? Peace Corps? Missionary work? Pray much or lightly? Receive any joy in church?
  5. If you had to preach a sermon in church, what would you choose for subject?
  6. It’s been said that ambitious men need someplace to go early in the morning. They need it to add purpose to their life. Where would that be for you? What gets you moving in the morning?
  7. What’s your greatest ambition? To do what? When? How prepared are you to tackle it?
  8. Where did you get your work ethic? What is your work ethic? Not familiar with the term? Really?
  9. What female now highlights your life? No! Not me, of course. And not a love interest. What do they contribute to you?
  10. Who is the greatest male in your life? Why? What do or did you gain from your association?
  11. What do you like best about children? Least about them? If a relative died and left you as guardian of three children, what would you do and how would you do it?
  12. What do you dream of becoming? Of doing?
  13. Got a bucket list? No? Then how about we compile and compare our respective lists.
  14. What’s your best friend’s most admirable trait?
  15. Who do you admire the most? Why?
  16. What makes marriage work? Who has responsibility for what? Why?
  17. Do children help or hinder a marriage? Why? How many do you want? And what do you expect from them?
  18. If you could have one picture of anything you dream up on the wall at home or work, what would it be?
  19. If you could play any role in any movie you’ve ever seen, what would it be?
  20. What makes a man brave? Courageous? Have you ever been there?
  21. What made your father courageous? Your mother?
  22. What’s your greatest accomplishment? Really? That big? That important? Receive any recognition or honors? Do you miss what you didn’t receive?
  23. What does wifely submission mean to you? You know, how the bible describes it? What do their differing responsibilities show you? Who’s most responsible for marital success?
  24. What’s your favorite scripture? Where’d you learn it? Can you quote it?
  25. What’s your favorite religious song? Why? Can you sing it now?
  26. Do you support anyone or anything with contributions? Who else deserves your money?
  27. Who is your favorite teacher? Why? Did he/she help with your learning or with shaping your character? What changed about your character? What other benefits did you receive? What lingers with you today?
  28. For whom are you grateful? For what are you grateful? From where does your sense of gratitude come? Why should you even be grateful, if you get no more than the minimum?
  29. What do you like about femininity? Feminism? No, tell me something good about Feminism/feminists. There must be something!
  30. Can and will you describe your character to me?

Women always want to know more about their man. These suggestions provide opportunity to learn more. Uncovering his intentions by evaluating his maturity can determine whether he’s playing around or not. It guarantees nothing, but she’s the judge and can live with her decisions more easily than just guessing about his intentions.

It’s neither the questions nor the answers that count. It’s his reactions to many questions. Does he show effort, respect, and desire to please her in the numerous ways he reacts? Signs of his maturity lie therein.

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799. Adolescent Thinking Darkens Adult Life — I


A model of relationship building has become popular. Inexperience and ignorance of the male nature spreads its use.

Females hook up, link up, shack up, marry up, wake up, split up, and start up again. The pattern evolved over four decades, as adolescent thinking replaced adult maturity. Each generation of girls think they know more and better than previous ones about dealing with boys. They ignore the experience and reject the wisdom of older females and live their adult lives with little more than adolescent values.

A new generation emerges about every seven years. Newbies seek their own identity and uniqueness from siblings, and teens aim to avoid mom’s mistakes. (Incidentally, if they don’t know about mom’s mistakes, they have less reason to strike out independently or differently. Full disclosure damages child rearing in unimaginable ways.)

Cause: In the process of feminists convincing women to dislike male nature and patriarchy, females came to distrust and then dislike their own nature. If mothers didn’t teach it indirectly, daughters learned from mom’s complaints or experiences. As a result, each new generation takes a different view of males, which leads to different paths of life. (Is female prepubescent sex mom’s idea? Is mom teaching teen daughters to carry condoms mature or adolescent thinking?)

  • Each generation of young girls makes femininity more undesirable than their siblings and mothers. Role model grannies became obsolete several decades ago, as newer generations deserted family closeness to favor association with peer outsiders.
  • Females now use males as role models for attire, grooming, and behaviors that include exploiting sexual freedom. Consequently, male values sweep away female standards and override women’s expectations. Females twist in uncertainty, sense of unworthiness, and lack of self-appreciation. (The adolescent female mind works this way: If men don’t appreciate me for more than sex, why should I appreciate myself?)

Result: By abandoning femininity for feminist thought, females of every age and role drop interest and weaken their ability to civilize boys to female standards, tame adolescents and single males to live up to female expectations, and domesticate husbands for family responsibility.

  • Males are compensated with easy conquests, so they go along for the wonderful and unobligated ride that discourages family responsibility. Male values now dominate, and female values for stable home and family vaporize.
  • When females dislike being female and especially being very feminine, they are haunted with frustrations dealing with men. Even if successful at capturing or holding a man, they remain dissatisfied and unhappy. They blame men! It makes female frustration worse and pushes them toward over-eagerness, wishful thinking, hope instead of reality, and making themselves worthy of men instead of the reverse.

Consequently, adolescent thinking, values, and expectations shape the lives of everyone, weaken family influence, and cause further social decay. Such adolescent thinking promotes popularity as essential, fame/notoriety as great, and celebrities as role models. In these ways, adolescent values spread and further dominate self-interest and social life. 

Where does it end? When females keep their unmarried legs crossed, women can reestablish their control of cultural values, AKA why people do what they do in society. Following that, female relationship expertise can win men over to living up to family responsibility as the predominant and guiding institution for society.

Now, I’m not dumb enough to think that such things are forthcoming. But, I stress this point: The previous paragraph describes the macro, or society as a whole. In fact, the same principles work at the micro level, one couple as the whole.

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777. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 6


MEN

  • Men are driven to overcome Nature, compete with other men, and control human events. They need only a place to flop, eat, throw their things, and prepare for tomorrows’ battles.
  • Fortunately, when political and economic freedom prevails, the greatest legacy of the competitive male nature emerges. Men compete against Nature and among themselves. Their achievements create wealth. This generates economic growth that brightens the future for women and children.
  • However, while men produce and problem solve in the normal course of masculine life, their primal ambitions don’t include a female except for sex. Only well-prepared women can overcome the tsunami of resistance in men, when they’re asked to swap their independence for family responsibility.

The question asked in Chapter Three pops up rephrased: How do women capitalize on patriarchy to gain and protect their wealth and their children? The answer: Women capitalize on strengths and minimize weaknesses of both sexes.

Being the relationship experts, women make their relationships work better. They intuitively know how to massage the male ego, harness the masculine drive, and help recover from manly discouragements. They use femininity to add color to every man’s B&W world, and then each woman selects the best of those screened to help fulfill her own hopes and dreams.

Chapter 7 tomorrow ends the series and describes the need for mutual rewards.

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775. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 4


MORE DETAILS

This continues the part of yesterday’s article where I said: “Historical facts suggest women will be eternally blessed and made hopeful by male-dominated, wealth-building society. The question then pops up: How do women capitalize on what they face? How do they balance their interests with those of men? Before Feminism came along, our foremothers intuitively knew how. The answer squirts out in this misty spray: Women depend on, use, and exploit men in society and around the house. (Details tomorrow)” The details now follow.

Women depend on, use, and exploit men in many ways. But it’s best done gradually and unnoticeably. Before anyone says I’m endorsing manipulation, think again for I’m not. All that follows is motivated naturally by these primal urges: her drive to nest, nurture, and nestle; her need for a brighter future; her wants for a man’s help in fulfilling her hopes and dreams, her fear of abandonment, and her time focus on the future more than the present.

The following is not a How To. It’s intended to be educational. So, it requires study to deepen one’s understanding of the female nature when balancing self-interest with that of a man:

·        She stakes out ownership of the feminine domain and competes to preserve it. She clearly and ungrudgingly yields ownership of the masculine, and cooperates to help men or husband to do better.

·        She competes strongly with men to preserve her chastity or marital fidelity. She cooperates strongly with husband to preserve their relationship. She assumes responsibility for ‘maintaining’ any relationship.

·        She has a natural urge to take charge of almost everything concerning her family. She knows when she shouldn’t especially in areas that husband considers his responsibility or domain.

·        Without offending husband, she learns to control enough of life’s events to pursue her hopes and dreams for her family. She wins enough independence by depending on him.

·        She knows men don’t like to ask females for help, and so she anticipates and meets husband’s needs without his asking. It’s not reciprocal, however, because he isn’t as sensitive to her feelings.

I found the list too big for one day. It will finish tomorrow.

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