Tag Archives: girlfriend

460. KEEPERS FOR KEEPERS — Assortment 14


Dear Daughter: Some more nuggets worthy of your review:

v Whether girlfriend, fiancé, or wife, she is responsible to sustain her man’s devotion. Otherwise, her behavior squelches it. [17]

v Women as lovers and live-ins contribute little to harnessing masculine aggression, because their potential for being dumped significantly reduces their influence. [18]

v Women either set civilizing, domesticating, and cultural values through home life, or men foist masculine hubris on female sensibilities. [18]

v The better she looks to herself, often measured by the reaction of others, the faster she learns in iddy-biddy steps to like herself more. [11]

v Envy causes the appearance of husband’s comfort arrangements to cry out for her correction. So, wives try, tempers fly, husbands defy, and then say goodbye. [9]

v Modern females advertise and provide the sexual equivalent of video games just waiting to be played. He hits the jackpot with shack up, and she pays off. [15]

v Maximum cleavage or near-nipple exposure focuses men on sex instead of the female and downgrades her other qualities. [12]

v Husbands want to be confirmed as significant, but wives provide affection. Wives want to be shown affection, but men assume that their continuing presence signifies affection. [4]

v If he shows disrespect for her before their first sex together, it will worsen after conquest. [9]

v Her strengths working for her: Don’t marry until he needs no more upgrades to please her for life. [17]

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250. Female Fortitude—66 through 70


These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

66.            A woman easily kills her relationship when she exhibits female weaknesses that harden her heart against cooperation and soften her head in favor of competing with her man.

67.            She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs, cries, and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.   

68.            Women hook up only to ask, Why does he not call? Many possible reasons apply both after weeks of dating and one night stands.

69.            Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually, as men do. Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple, as Nature endows them.

70.            If her ex is going to be any different than he was in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more than before. Only that will make him favorably different, and virtual virginity earns such additional respect.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

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227. What daughters never hear—Section 4


Women control this sequence of events, but men invariably win:  hook up, link up, shack up, knock up, marry up, frighten up, muck up, ‘fess up, split up, pay up, and end up looking to start over.

Conquest releases the hunter-conqueror to look for a new target.

♀ He sees a recent conquest as girlfriend, occasional sleepover, duty slut, discard, or—if she played the pre-sex courtship to her advantage—perhaps a keeper. 

♀ Inspiring and energizing her man without de-motivating him is difficult. But a woman’s natural relationship expertise provides enough skills—if she also practices patience and indirectness.

♀ Only one way exists to find out if a man is really after a woman for herself. Withhold sex until he proves himself willing and worthy by honoring her ideals, standards, and expectations for giving up his freedom.

♀ Long-term marriage boils down to this: She chose him. She’s the relationship expert. Experts critically qualify someone trying to sell them something. Later, they make necessary adjustments to live with what they ‘purchased’.

♀ Promises and words of commitment fade easily under daily pressures. Acts of commitment reinforce feelings, promote permanency, and grow into devotion capable of surviving daily pressures.

[More that daughters never hear appear in posts 214, 200, and 183. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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226. The high cost of cheap sex — 11


The Marrying Man ponders the new male game that girls have developed, ‘friends-with-benefits’:

·        Who did and who didn’t? I don’t want one that did, but can I ever be sure?

·        Did my new girlfriend do that? Does she now?

·        Who are her friends? How many? Do I know them?

·        When I meet them, will I know?

·        How many male friends will she keep after our marriage? With benefits?

·        How do I know the difference between those that benefitted and didn’t?

·        Where does she draw the line between friend and acquaintance? A few drinks, perhaps?

·        Does she associate with girls that do it? Still hanging out with them? (We become like those with whom we associate!)

·        If she did it out of friendship, how binding will our love be? Can she devote herself to only one man? Does she need male friends?

·        How long do sealed friends remain friends?

·        Friendships don’t just end, so how about the benefits?

·        Did she benefit any of my friends or men that I know?

·        What about new friends she makes? We make? They entitled?

·        Once a friend always a friend? Where does it end?

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

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198. Virtual Virginity #11


☼ When he shows interest, she starts out as targeted sex object. Her yielding confirms it. Hunters stop aiming at game already put down—except for booty call.

☼ To each man interested in her, she’s a sex object. She yields and becomes something else. She does not yield and becomes something better.

☼ Withholding unmarried sex is the most valuable way to shift a man’s focus to feminine interests, especially away from male dominance.

☼ He keeps looking for her weaknesses to get her in bed. While doing so, he learns to appreciate her other qualities and strengths that benefit him.  

☼ Female dominance works indirectly, beneath conscious thought. Her insistence on unmarried chastity forces him to choose: Either depart or enlarge his interest in all the other wonderful things she has to offer and qualities she has to charm his life.

☼ Unmarried chastity with a man enables her to orchestrate his interests gently but deliberately through this sequence: girlfriend, sweetheart, fiancé, bride, wife. It’s her path to feminine glory.

☼ Yielding empowers him to pursue this: hook up, link up, and maybe shack up until his freedom calls, and they split up. It’s his path to masculine glory.

☼ Conquest weakens his interests in her. Weaker interests require less effort and intensity for one woman and enable him to spread his interests elsewhere.

NOTE: The youngest generation gets it right. “Young women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It’s Not Bad to Be Good”  It’s a quote from the dust cover of girls gone MILD by Wendy Shalit. She also authored A Return To Modesty, Discovering The Lost Virtue. I recommend both to parents and all females seeking to spend their life with one man. Both books taught me the deepness of the female nature.

[More about virtual virginity appears in posts 181, 169, 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, 44, and 25. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot following.]

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143. Chaste courtship works—Part 4


Using sex to capture a boyfriend is easy. Sex infatuates boys, but it does not bond men. Thus, unmarried sex paves the road to ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, or -wife.

Women have no greater direct influence on their own personal world than when they refuse to provide unmarried sex. Yielding weakens her influence and enhances his dominating spirit.

Women have two major windows in which they can change their man: A long courtship before they first have sex and in middle age after Nature softens his heart. Both, however, require patience, indirectness, and feminine charm.

Women reject a long chaste courtship. They prefer the joys of sex over opportunity to makeover a man into Right Man. This forces her to seek to change him after marriage, a sure-fire way to push him toward other arms.

Women want to change their man after marriage but find that they can’t. The male nature resists her pressures to change, except as a woman delays his premarital conquest to stimulate change.

A long sex-free courtship resolves uncertainty about a man’s character and potential for successful marriage. Most men reveal their true character but not their entire Self, when facing a woman’s hard-headed and continuing delays for their first sex together. But, women are in charge of courtship only as long as it remains platonic.

A simple test of a man’s devotion: He honors her needs and wants ahead of his own. If, however, he continually pleases her at the expense of his manly dreams, she will lose respect for him and he will eventually become dumper or dumpee. 

[More about the merits of chaste courtships appear in post 108, 107, and 100. Scroll down or search by the number.]

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114. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 4


A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.

A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes, if he has to work hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling.

A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can get a permanent arrangement. Others cannot, except for temporary comfort and functionality.

A man’s not really interested in her, if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her.

A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential to a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one.

A woman that uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Love and affection are not enough though.

A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s more temp than keeper.

After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or he moves on.  

After conquest the infatuated but not fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, live in, or wife if necessary.

Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. Her value goes up with his difficulty achieving his goal. How he handles her obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her. 

 

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67. Exes, dumpees, and left behinds—Section I


Girls and women repeatedly spend time as ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-live in, ex-wife. Whether searching, shacking up, or married, women repeatedly bounce from one misery to another interrupted frequently with love that doesn’t last and often with a new child. First with a guy and then without, and then with a guy and then without, and then….

Males are just males. Mothers, girls, and wives turn them into promising boys and mature men that please or displease females.

Every man expects he will be great as a mate—by masculine standards, that is. They must be taught otherwise, if female expectations are met.

Sexual encounters do not improve men, because sex neither bonds nor changes them for female advantage. The actions and reactions of women withholding intercourse teach men to adopt female-friendly behaviors and try harder to please females.

When there’s a shortage of unmarried sex all across society, it shapes masculine thinking toward goodness and what women appreciate. Trying to qualify for sex by searching for a female’s weaknesses, a man coincidentally learns about her non-sexual strengths and qualities of value to him. His love needs that base, if it’s to endure beyond the fading of lust, infatuation, and romantic love.

The presence of unmarried sex all across modern society shapes masculine thinking against what women appreciate. The ease of bouncing blossom to blossom lures men away from spending very much effort on females and especially the baggage-laden interests of one. Also, male dominance intensifies.

Modern women don’t rise to the challenge of relationship management required to succeed as a couple. Instead, they act less feminine, more masculine, and objectify themselves for trading in the sexual marketplace.

When relationship mistakes and failures become evident, she dumps him before he dumps her.

She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.   

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