Tag Archives: gratefulness

2009. Female Blessings at Birth — 07-09


Third group and I thank you for offering your opinions.

I take the (currently 84) default attitudes for a test drive, to purify them with deeper analysis by more people. I request readers either confirm or deny each numbered item below with or without comment. To make it easier, I’m only posting three at a time.

Just reply to this article and identify each item by its number and indicate true/false. Accept each default as true to begin with. I will rewrite or delete as results of your analyses justify it.

True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life. If you learned an item during your life, try as best you can to determine if you actually learned it or just confirmed what already existed in your heart. [If learned or foreign to you, label the item False.]

  1. I have the strength to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of those I have been given the gift of caring for. [from MLaRowe] [Editor: The born-in prime motivator of women is to earn self-importance, which requires from others confirmation of her worth. Consequently, women gain and amplify their importance by doing right things morally and caringly.]
  2. I as a nurse can help others. [from Nancy] [Editor: Witnessing the results of nursing amplifies her sense of self-importance, guides her in doing the right thing, and adds to the gratefulness she feels for herself.]
  3. I have a nice and more attractive body hiding inside me that I can bring into the light of my world. I’m especially grateful that I intend to restore it and expect to have it shortly. [Editor: She always expects to make herself more attractive, but guilt easily triggers dissatisfaction when her appearance goes untended. Yearning for near-perfection, she’s seldom satisfied except momentarily. Striving to attract men, feedback enables her to manage her appearance successfully. (However, her nature doesn't guide her on this momentous fact of life. It’s not body shape that attracts men; it’s how whatever her shape is cared for and presented.)]

Example for responses: “6-T (comments if given)” works okay to reflect your opinion of true to that one item.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

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1996. Self-gratitude — Default Attitudes


Yesterday I posted angelic whipped cream to the self-gratitude sundae. Today I add the nuts of gratefulness. The numbered list of naturally endowed female qualities that women inherit at birth has been revised and enlarged. It’s posted as a separate page at blog top.

Default attitudes reflect the way that God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize females to function as the superior sex within society built and sustained by the dominant sex. Tomorrow, the cherry of recovery completes the sundae at 1997.

 

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1995. Self-gratitude — Her Angelic Presence


She loves others and is grateful for some. She fails to appreciate, love, and be grateful enough for herself. She envies the best in others, but fails to look for and find it in herself. Internal pressures cause it. It seems unfortunate, but it’s not. It’s a natural defense against overextending herself. It prevents female expressions of dominance that can be rightfully claimed by the natural superiority of her sex, but which inevitably run into the superior and thus highly respected physical strength of males. In short, her naturally enforced accommodation with her nature helps bring balance to mating.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love yourself more, but that you should love yourself specifically for your superior qualities and abilities and not your desire to impose your will on others. See the difference? You benefit when your superior spirit and admirable character float in the view of others without demanding they do your bidding. They see your participation in their lives as so routinely important that you’re neither questioned nor challenged. Your presence is enough to cause self-gratitude to grow in the hearts of family members, but the taproot is your own self-gratitude.

Always deserving of more affection than you receive, you’re needful of a strong sense of importance more than affection. You make yourself important and leave to others to sense the need to show you affection. It enables you to live with the A.D.D that afflicts both you and your man. Nevertheless, with almost angelic composure, low expectations for yourself enable you to set and dominate the values, standards, and expectations of home and family. In that lays practical confirmation of the self-gratitude that you can absorb while privately seated before dresser mirror. And therein lays the reason for the poet’s claim, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” [William Ross Wallace]

 

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1994. Self-gratitude—Guilt and Self-respect


Whether girl or woman, bachelorette or single mom, live in or wife, each lives with an abundance of guilt. Men can and do, but women can’t get rid of it. To some degree women feel too guilty and it languishes for years before fading from their hearts. However, they can ease it and I encourage women to neutralize it at least and overwhelm it at best with self-gratitude.

(Just guessing but I suspect it works something like this. Each woman has a full load that she carries all the time. New guilt displaces the least significant.)

Unfortunately, susceptibility to guilt eats away self-respect, so women need a stronger character foundation. Their nature provides it, dedication to themselves as vital to those around them. But that requires less guilt and some self-respect. Consequently, women need to continually both offset the former and reinforce the latter. The answer lies in habitually using the dresser mirror and the habit of deliberately spending time there. Out of mirror time comes less guilt, more self-respect, and reinforced self-gratitude. All of which enable dedication to themselves as vital to others.

Details about mirror use are coming soon. In the meantime, reviewing these related articles, 1003 and 1291, may fill in some blanks I leave behind.

 

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1992. Self-gratitude — Just What Is It?


Self-gratitude is the habit of claiming gratefulness for who you are and what you do. It keeps your heart overflowing with your importance and worth as person and as female fulfilling your multiple roles in life. Self-gratitude floods your heart when you follow and reinforce your natural feminine qualities pretty much as God intended, Nature trains, and hormones push you.

Created to be good, you do good by following your heart. When you reinforce your self-gratitude daily, it enables you to focus on life outside yourself, which in return confirm your claims of self-importance and add to your self-worth.

In modern life this seems almost a universal fault. Influences contrary to self-gratitude are inculcated in childhood and doomed to continue later in life. As the direct result, women pay too little attention to keeping their ego sufficiently protected, self-love sufficiently inflated, self-worth sufficiently appreciated, and self-gratitude sufficiently reinforced, that is, DAILY.

And it works in reverse to simplify and ease a changeover. Even if you have to fake it for awhile, you can adopt individual default attitudes and find yourself doing that for which God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize you. You don’t copy or act like men. Instead, you act uniquely different, take pride in it, and expect to be honored for it. It makes you worth what men are willing to pay in lost independence in order to have you for a mate.

On the other hand, to the extent you copy masculine characteristics, you lose self-gratitude. For example: 1) Promiscuity steals your joy. Joyless women can’t be very grateful. 2) Competing with husband drives him away. While you may be grateful for winning battles, it vaporizes on losing the war. 3) Sloppy appearance destroys manly interest. Grateful for attracting male eyes reinforces your self-importance, but its absence weakens self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth.

The more intense is your self-gratitude and more wide-spread across your personality, character, and roles in life, then the more capable and influential you are. Your relationship expertise expands, and you’re more capable of fixing relationship issues. It also prepares you better to deal with all aspects of life.

The shortage of self-gratitude waters down other gratefulness that is essential for your happiness. Serendipitously, the more grateful you are for yourself, the more grateful for others and things. But the reverse doesn’t work. With insufficient self-gratitude, declaring your gratefulness for others and things actually forces comparisons that question and weaken self-gratitude.

However, recovery is everything and each woman is capable. More to follow when the default attitudes are posted soon.

As a modern woman, even though member of the superior sex, you lose macro and micro influence and negotiating power in direct proportion as you lack self-gratitude. The reverse is also true. The greater is your self-gratitude dealing with men and their natural expectation to dominate women, then the greater is your influence in matters concerning other self-interests. Men lose negotiating power when you rectify your life with great gobs of self-gratitude. Living up to your nature is living up to something bigger than yourself, and also endows you with the moral high ground.

When you exploit your natural femininity, you focus less on present matters in exchange for greater influence in shaping the lives most important to you. You promote compatibility and maintain harmony the easy way. Moreover, you contribute somewhat to universally helping men find the satisfaction and women the happiness they respectively crave. It’s your self-gratitude that empowers your awesomeness over men and female opponents on matters of your heart, life, and future.

 

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1949. Pity and Gratitude: Mortal Enemies


We have been blessed by Her Highness Heather at 1384. She beautifully clanged the pity bell, which enables me to ring the gratitude bell. Pity easily conquers women unless they fight back with the proper antidote, gratefulness. Thanks to Heather’s clear descriptions, many women may benefit because they are caught in similar situations.

As with all of us, a person’s attitude reflects their heart and self-pity gains prominence or dominance in the absence of gratefulness. If women are not grateful enough, they’re not happy enough. They look to blame others, which is quite natural but also the root of pity.

Whether you are an interested reader or buried in self-pity, please don’t take offense. It will only stall initiative to squelch the pitiful side of life with newfound gratitude.

I analyze the lady’s wonderfully descriptive comment as if gratitude is lacking in the heart of every woman, because it usually is to some extent or another. Her entire comment is broken and quoted in lower case; my response is bolded and bracketed.

  • “Not having extended family is a huge problem today.” [You’re not grateful for what you do have? You generated a nice home and family. Can it not be made to be enough? As mother you are capable and able to make the world a better place with home-schooled children. Can mothers do better? As wife you are capable and able to keep husband’s nose to the grindstone of earning a living and remaining responsible for his family. Can you do better without him?]
  • “My husband simply drives around listening to sermons and takes customers out to lunch for his job.” [Does listening to sermons improve or worsen his living a dedicated Christian life? You have time to diagnosis your problems and what’s wrong with your life. Are you stuck on that? Does it creep over into envy or jealousy for what he does daily instead of what he does long range to brighten the economic future for you, home, kids, and marital relationship? If you have time for those negative thoughts, can you convert them into positives?]
  • “I am home schooling four children.” [Congratulations. How can you have the heart to continue, if you’re not grateful for the sterling characters you’re building into an extended family with you as future matriarch?]
  • “He knows his job is so much easier than mine.” [Yes, easier because of experience, ambition, and gender attributes. Knowing he has the easier job compliments you with his gratefulness. You wouldn’t like it if he did your job and thus took yours away, right? Can you find gratitude in NOT having to do his job?]
  • “I cannot be a good wife or mother without time to myself.” [Sure you can. You already are. How did you get where you’re at, if you aren’t both good wife and good mother? You found time to find pity. Can you find time to find gratitude?]
  • “I consider time to myself to be cleaning without the children. I can’t even imagine having time for friends or reading a book or taking a bath without one of the children in it.” [I can’t tell you but you can figure out how to gain the private time you desire. You need only adopt one new habit. It will enable you to generate both imagination and time for yourself. I describe it below.]
  • “Modern society has left women alone with only their inadequate husbands to turn to.” [If husband is inadequate, wife is usually responsible. She either married the wrong man, or the atmosphere she generates in home and relationship induces him to change in ways that make her ungrateful.]
  • “Men just can’t run a house for even an hour like a woman can.” [Exactly, just as God designed, Nature endowed, and hormones continue to energize the sexes as distinctly different. A man’s sense of responsibility is broad enough to care for family. A woman’s sense of responsibility is specific enough to handle the details by squeezing in touches of female devotion here, there, and everywhere.]

The “fix” for all of your problems lies in one word—gratefulness. First, grateful for yourself. Second, grateful for your husband. Third, grateful for your children. Fourth, grateful for the life husband and children (and God if you are a believer) provide you.

If you expand your gratefulness in yourself, it will enable you to find gratitude both for the others and provide a more self-charmed life. It may sound too simple, but resolution requires renewed dedication to yourself. I suggest you adopt the practice, develop the habit, and make the most of this process:

  • Commit to letting the following determine your bedtime. Arise each morning before everyone else and sit in front of a big mirror for 30 minutes. Demand that everyone honor your privacy and do so without complaint. Dedicate the first 30 minutes of your day to you talking to the mirror and generating your own feedback.
  • Study yourself in ways you haven’t for a long time. Fix up, plan to fix up, and otherwise make improvements on everything you see in head and body. Every little improvement brings gratitude, so enable yourself to find new ways of improving your appearance. If you see need for a professional makeover, get it, but don’t give up your 30 minutes every day. Make it a lifetime habit, because it’s the tap root of happiness.
  • Details are spread through other blog articles, particularly those cited in 1440 and the subject expands at 1721.

And you say: The price is too great! And I say: The consequence of pity is unhappiness. Pity and gratitude are mortal enemies. They can’t co-exist; pity kills happy.

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1927. Happy Thanksgiving


I like to make the holiday season personal in this way. Today we Americans give thanks for what we have and who we love and like. At Christmas we Christians give thanks for who we are in the eyes of God and family and friends. Recognizing and displaying our gratitude is the common theme. The holidays are thus made happy because happiness flows from gratefulness.

Gratefulness civilizes us and the more the better. The process of finding ways to express gratitude for others displays a unique respectfulness that makes women smile more and men work more responsibly on behalf of family. Their natures cause this; women are happier during the holidays because they more easily find and spread gratitude than do men.

I wish a Happy Thanksgiving Day to Americans everywhere. To others, I hope they can find ways to find and spotlight gratefulness for who they are and whom they love and like. We only uncover and release the good life together when we unconditionally respect and find gratitude for each other. Turkey comes second.

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694. Attitude of Gratitude — Part 5


This summary completes the series about grateful actions that can lead to mutual happiness.

Wife directly demonstrates her gratitude for husband, which makes her happy with him.

♦       That’s it. Her happiness-seeking ‘job’ is simple and easy.

♦       Unless, that is, she can’t show gratitude. She may have chosen or turned him into Mr. Wrong. Or she may suffer low self-esteem or high self-centeredness and expect more from him than she can ever give.

Husband indirectly demonstrates his gratitude for wife, but success depends upon her confirmation.

  • He shows his gratitude for her by producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving for her and the kids.
  • Success comes from her respect and dependency, which makes him grateful for who he is and what he does, and this opens the door for his happiness.

You may conclude this, and it’s true. The best evidence of her gratitude is to reward him with respect and recognition for his efforts on her behalf.

One final reminder: A few negative words can poison good intentions and nullify positive actions. Consequently, words, discussions, and opinions either confirm his contributions or mutual unhappiness follows. (Full disclosure is vastly overrated.)    

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