Tag Archives: gratefulness

2035. Coffee and Tea with Mrs. G. #38


She’s been with the Lord for six months, but this story Grace would have told if we had recalled it. About the turn of the century, she and I visited a favorite chain restaurant. We had recently become acquaintances of the owner/operator. He’s working the day shift as shift manager.

We’re sitting in an end booth, he leans over the end and chats with us, obviously doing so in passing rather than visiting. We subsequently learn he’s professionally charming and loaded with integrity. With those talents he’s also an excellent leader and has gone on to higher position in his company. He just treated me to lunch yesterday, and it reminded me of this story.

Anyway, back to the booth. The three of us are laughing and enjoying something. Suddenly a good looking, ultra well-dressed woman unknown to us appeared at his side. She was already deep into throwing a hissy fit. Her red face spewed these words that reflect her anger better than I remember the accuracy. “You knew I was coming. I’ve been here (??) minutes. You should have been at my table already. You need to tell the servers what to do. You’ve been moving about and purposely ignoring me. You’ve embarrassed me before my friend (lunch partner).” The tirade probably continued for double the time it takes to say what I just wrote. She made no effort to keep her voice down.

So embarrassed his teeth turn red, he remained well composed. With gritted teeth he gently told her to return to her table and he would be there shortly. He waited until she got there and excused himself with our blessing and sympathy. I thought how can he be so calm?

After he departs, Grace turns to me and says, “That marriage won’t last.” And, of course it doesn’t except for a few legal-processing months. I wish I could have witnessed their ‘togetherness’ after he got home from work.

Ladies, don’t visit expecting husband to forsake his duty to cater to your whims. Leave all your whims at home. Pick up your patience umbrella and wear your gratefulness hat. You’re special but your presence magnifies his concerns, whether he acts like it or not. Everything becomes more important except what he can dispense with for the moments he spends with you. His decision and not yours.

The moral: There is no end to the benefits that wife’s patience and understanding bring to hubby’s job site. With it she makes him look good. By showing ultra respect for him and gratefulness for his associates/employees, she makes him look great.

 

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2032. Female Blessings at Birth — 43-45


A NOTE FIRST. Ladies, your interest in these female blessings that arrive with birth seem to be waning. Am I boring you, or is interest in the subject already worn out? Shall I drop the subject?

——

I continue asking for your agreement/disagreement on the long list I’ve compiled. This is the 15th group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.

With each item, do you agree that you and other females inherit it at birth? Or, is it something you and others learn later in life? False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, or it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.

In case you’re new to this blog or wonder why I compiled the long list of blessings. I hope to close the gaps and shortcomings in the following causes and effects so that modern women can have better lives.

  • A woman’s happiness depends primarily on the gratefulness that accumulates in and shines outward from her heart.
  • Women can only be as grateful for others and things as they are individually grateful for who and what they are as a person, woman, wife, mother, girlfriend, granny, church-goer, encourager, Christian, Jew, American, Korean, employee, and on and on and on…. The key term being grateful for self, self-gratitude.
  • Women will or should be more grateful for themselves as individuals if they are aware of just how magnificently they have been designed, endowed, and energized to be the key players in life and compatible with themselves, others, and especially a lifetime mate.

Where I explain or add following each blessing, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me. I’m not trying to be right, just searching for and clearly describing truth—as close as we can get it. I search for the naturally endowed blessings that empower and encourage women to use their irresistible force to override the immovable object of male dominance.

These are the blessings for today.

43. I appreciate myself more when I depend on my modest nature to guide me. [Guy adds: Modesty is as natural to women as aggressiveness is to men. I urge every woman to study and teach daughters out of Wendy Shalit’s marvelous book, A Return to Modesty — Discovering the Lost Virtue. First, modesty is admirable to men simply because such apparently fun-depriving uniqueness is so foreign to their nature. Second, modesty is a woman’s most powerful weapon for getting a man settled into his expected role of honoring female sensibilities, both hers and that of other women. The more she respects her modest nature with affirming actions, the more easily she earns the respect of men, which is the foundation of a man’s love. (Ladies, I regret repeating myself so much, but many readers will be reading this as their first or near-first exposure to such concepts as men love according to their respect for a woman.)]

44. I can touch up my appearance in numerous ways and places and endlessly encourage myself with how pretty I truly am. [Guy adds: A female’s best friend is her mirror image. To the extent that she exploits that friendship, she strengthens her self-image, self-worth, and self-interest. Without a mirror nearby, she’s virtually lost in thought about her appearance. Anxiety about it can make her lose focus on other things, or she can use the mirror to change the subject. With a mirror she can restore confidence, eliminate anxiety, and restore herself to whatever track she was on in any situation. That’s why she’s designed, endowed, and hormonally energized to believe that she’s pretty—it’s her salvation for any tough situation when she learns to use it in company with her compact-available best friend.]

45. I feel better about myself when I dress and act more feminine and less like men. [Guy adds: Women lack the masculine self-confidence that whatever they choose to do is okay within themselves. The spirit of Feminism suggests to women that they will feel more self-confident and like themselves better by duplicating masculine habits in dress and behavior. But it doesn’t work as advertised. Instead, they have to try other more masculine habits, but that doesn’t work either. Consequently, modern women continually feel less than good about themselves. They try harder and harder but the pop culture pushes them in the wrong direction, that of adopting male initiatives, welcoming male dominance, and tolerating excess male aggressiveness. Thus, women wean themselves away from their natural ways of always feeling good or better about themselves, which means they don’t find gratefulness in themselves, which means they can’t find all that much gratefulness in their lives, which means that they move further and further away from ever finding happiness that emerges from a strong spirit of gratefulness particularly for being female.

Example for your response: “45-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for your opinion. More blessings to follow in a day or two.

 

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2009. Female Blessings at Birth — 07-09


Third group and I thank you for offering your opinions.

I take the (currently 84) default attitudes for a test drive, to purify them with deeper analysis by more people. I request readers either confirm or deny each numbered item below with or without comment. To make it easier, I’m only posting three at a time.

Just reply to this article and identify each item by its number and indicate true/false. Accept each default as true to begin with. I will rewrite or delete as results of your analyses justify it.

True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or something you learned during life. If you learned an item during your life, try as best you can to determine if you actually learned it or just confirmed what already existed in your heart. [If learned or foreign to you, label the item False.]

  1. I have the strength to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of those I have been given the gift of caring for. [from MLaRowe] [Editor: The born-in prime motivator of women is to earn self-importance, which requires from others confirmation of her worth. Consequently, women gain and amplify their importance by doing right things morally and caringly.]
  2. I as a nurse can help others. [from Nancy] [Editor: Witnessing the results of nursing amplifies her sense of self-importance, guides her in doing the right thing, and adds to the gratefulness she feels for herself.]
  3. I have a nice and more attractive body hiding inside me that I can bring into the light of my world. I’m especially grateful that I intend to restore it and expect to have it shortly. [Editor: She always expects to make herself more attractive, but guilt easily triggers dissatisfaction when her appearance goes untended. Yearning for near-perfection, she’s seldom satisfied except momentarily. Striving to attract men, feedback enables her to manage her appearance successfully. (However, her nature doesn't guide her on this momentous fact of life. It’s not body shape that attracts men; it’s how whatever her shape is cared for and presented.)]

Example for responses: “6-T (comments if given)” works okay to reflect your opinion of true to that one item.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

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1996. Self-gratitude — Default Attitudes


Yesterday I posted angelic whipped cream to the self-gratitude sundae. Today I add the nuts of gratefulness. The numbered list of naturally endowed female qualities that women inherit at birth has been revised and enlarged. It’s posted as a separate page at blog top.

Default attitudes reflect the way that God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize females to function as the superior sex within society built and sustained by the dominant sex. Tomorrow, the cherry of recovery completes the sundae at 1997.

 

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1995. Self-gratitude — Her Angelic Presence


She loves others and is grateful for some. She fails to appreciate, love, and be grateful enough for herself. She envies the best in others, but fails to look for and find it in herself. Internal pressures cause it. It seems unfortunate, but it’s not. It’s a natural defense against overextending herself. It prevents female expressions of dominance that can be rightfully claimed by the natural superiority of her sex, but which inevitably run into the superior and thus highly respected physical strength of males. In short, her naturally enforced accommodation with her nature helps bring balance to mating.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love yourself more, but that you should love yourself specifically for your superior qualities and abilities and not your desire to impose your will on others. See the difference? You benefit when your superior spirit and admirable character float in the view of others without demanding they do your bidding. They see your participation in their lives as so routinely important that you’re neither questioned nor challenged. Your presence is enough to cause self-gratitude to grow in the hearts of family members, but the taproot is your own self-gratitude.

Always deserving of more affection than you receive, you’re needful of a strong sense of importance more than affection. You make yourself important and leave to others to sense the need to show you affection. It enables you to live with the A.D.D that afflicts both you and your man. Nevertheless, with almost angelic composure, low expectations for yourself enable you to set and dominate the values, standards, and expectations of home and family. In that lays practical confirmation of the self-gratitude that you can absorb while privately seated before dresser mirror. And therein lays the reason for the poet’s claim, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” [William Ross Wallace]

 

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1994. Self-gratitude—Guilt and Self-respect


Whether girl or woman, bachelorette or single mom, live in or wife, each lives with an abundance of guilt. Men can and do, but women can’t get rid of it. To some degree women feel too guilty and it languishes for years before fading from their hearts. However, they can ease it and I encourage women to neutralize it at least and overwhelm it at best with self-gratitude.

(Just guessing but I suspect it works something like this. Each woman has a full load that she carries all the time. New guilt displaces the least significant.)

Unfortunately, susceptibility to guilt eats away self-respect, so women need a stronger character foundation. Their nature provides it, dedication to themselves as vital to those around them. But that requires less guilt and some self-respect. Consequently, women need to continually both offset the former and reinforce the latter. The answer lies in habitually using the dresser mirror and the habit of deliberately spending time there. Out of mirror time comes less guilt, more self-respect, and reinforced self-gratitude. All of which enable dedication to themselves as vital to others.

Details about mirror use are coming soon. In the meantime, reviewing these related articles, 1003 and 1291, may fill in some blanks I leave behind.

 

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1992. Self-gratitude — Just What Is It?


Self-gratitude is the habit of claiming gratefulness for who you are and what you do. It keeps your heart overflowing with your importance and worth as person and as female fulfilling your multiple roles in life. Self-gratitude floods your heart when you follow and reinforce your natural feminine qualities pretty much as God intended, Nature trains, and hormones push you.

Created to be good, you do good by following your heart. When you reinforce your self-gratitude daily, it enables you to focus on life outside yourself, which in return confirm your claims of self-importance and add to your self-worth.

In modern life this seems almost a universal fault. Influences contrary to self-gratitude are inculcated in childhood and doomed to continue later in life. As the direct result, women pay too little attention to keeping their ego sufficiently protected, self-love sufficiently inflated, self-worth sufficiently appreciated, and self-gratitude sufficiently reinforced, that is, DAILY.

And it works in reverse to simplify and ease a changeover. Even if you have to fake it for awhile, you can adopt individual default attitudes and find yourself doing that for which God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize you. You don’t copy or act like men. Instead, you act uniquely different, take pride in it, and expect to be honored for it. It makes you worth what men are willing to pay in lost independence in order to have you for a mate.

On the other hand, to the extent you copy masculine characteristics, you lose self-gratitude. For example: 1) Promiscuity steals your joy. Joyless women can’t be very grateful. 2) Competing with husband drives him away. While you may be grateful for winning battles, it vaporizes on losing the war. 3) Sloppy appearance destroys manly interest. Grateful for attracting male eyes reinforces your self-importance, but its absence weakens self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth.

The more intense is your self-gratitude and more wide-spread across your personality, character, and roles in life, then the more capable and influential you are. Your relationship expertise expands, and you’re more capable of fixing relationship issues. It also prepares you better to deal with all aspects of life.

The shortage of self-gratitude waters down other gratefulness that is essential for your happiness. Serendipitously, the more grateful you are for yourself, the more grateful for others and things. But the reverse doesn’t work. With insufficient self-gratitude, declaring your gratefulness for others and things actually forces comparisons that question and weaken self-gratitude.

However, recovery is everything and each woman is capable. More to follow when the default attitudes are posted soon.

As a modern woman, even though member of the superior sex, you lose macro and micro influence and negotiating power in direct proportion as you lack self-gratitude. The reverse is also true. The greater is your self-gratitude dealing with men and their natural expectation to dominate women, then the greater is your influence in matters concerning other self-interests. Men lose negotiating power when you rectify your life with great gobs of self-gratitude. Living up to your nature is living up to something bigger than yourself, and also endows you with the moral high ground.

When you exploit your natural femininity, you focus less on present matters in exchange for greater influence in shaping the lives most important to you. You promote compatibility and maintain harmony the easy way. Moreover, you contribute somewhat to universally helping men find the satisfaction and women the happiness they respectively crave. It’s your self-gratitude that empowers your awesomeness over men and female opponents on matters of your heart, life, and future.

 

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