232. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 14

♂ When men have to make arrangements for their own meals, whatever woman pushes them into it becomes more easily disposable—except for mom, of course.   

♂ A man enjoys looking at an attractive, pleasant looking female. When his woman looks sloppy and uncaring, he’s bored into looking for something more attractive.

♂ Men graciously live with the exaggeration that a man’s home is his castle. But only when his woman exploits her relationship expertise, showers him with gratitude, and recognizes him as head and her as neck of the family. Anything less is not a castle, and he can have it somewhere else.

♂ Men highly value feminine virtue, because the promise of eventual conquest adds honor to his manly persona and significance.

♂ Men intend to make themselves admirable (if only to themselves) and their life significant—usually above all else.

♂ Men love working or doing what they feel compelled to do. The most reliable men turn their life into loveable work at home and on the job.

♂ Men make themselves worthy of a virtuous woman. If not perceived as virtuous, she has to make herself worthy of him.  

 

60. Why he doesn’t hear her—Part I

Women, not men, have to tell men how to deal with women. And they should do it with feminine expertise that appeals to men instead of feminist disrespect that disuades men from respecting women.

No two women are pleased in the same ways. Ditto for men. The Battle of the Sexes is fought as protagonists smoothing out their respective interests during courtship in order to promote living together—after which the smoothness gets rumpled. All else is incidental.

A woman’s battleground success flows mostly from indirect messaging and highly feminine techniques that make a man feel good about himself. Men respond favorably and become pliable when rewarded appropriately. They respond unfavorably if not. Those are the rules for life’s game in which women need men more than vice versa.

Ignorant women begrudge male dominance. Smart women go around it, smother it with feminine charm, tease it into submission, and manage the pressures. No matriarchy has arisen in over 7,000 years, so evidence points to unalterable DNA as the root cause.  

This begs the question: How do smart women hold male dominance within acceptable bounds? The answer: They outfox the fox. They empower him to rule the roost, while they learn to rule the rooster. She lets him dominate the present, while she shapes their future to match her hopes and dreams.

She makes him head of the family and proud to be that, while she as the neck points and promotes family togetherness, solidarity, and morale. She sacrifices herself for him and family in their early years, and reaps her rewards later as well-loved matriarch of a warm, close knit, admirable family.*

Reward men appropriately for husbanding and fathering, and women can have what they want out of life with a man. ‘Appropriate’ means as defined by that man and no one else. So, a woman’s lifelong major task is to uncover what her man expects from her, and make sure she will not be victimized in whatever follows. (Of course she can claim that she’s due the same thing. But, he lacks the skills and interest to provide it.)

It’s humongously tough to do. Reward mostly means respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. But each man individualizes it. Among the natural female ‘nessies’ described in post #59, there are innumerable ways for a woman to reward her man. When she continually shines in his eyes, that’s usually reward enough.

* Thanks to Nia Vardalos for the neck analogy from her movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

————————- 

A Guy Note: Women know what they want, but they don’t know how to get it. They’re doing it all wrong. That’s What Women Never Hear, but now they can read it here.