Women, not men, have to tell men how to deal with women. And they should do it with feminine expertise that appeals to men instead of feminist disrespect that disuades men from respecting women.
No two women are pleased in the same ways. Ditto for men. The Battle of the Sexes is fought as protagonists smoothing out their respective interests during courtship in order to promote living together—after which the smoothness gets rumpled. All else is incidental.
A woman’s battleground success flows mostly from indirect messaging and highly feminine techniques that make a man feel good about himself. Men respond favorably and become pliable when rewarded appropriately. They respond unfavorably if not. Those are the rules for life’s game in which women need men more than vice versa.
Ignorant women begrudge male dominance. Smart women go around it, smother it with feminine charm, tease it into submission, and manage the pressures. No matriarchy has arisen in over 7,000 years, so evidence points to unalterable DNA as the root cause.
This begs the question: How do smart women hold male dominance within acceptable bounds? The answer: They outfox the fox. They empower him to rule the roost, while they learn to rule the rooster. She lets him dominate the present, while she shapes their future to match her hopes and dreams.
She makes him head of the family and proud to be that, while she as the neck points and promotes family togetherness, solidarity, and morale. She sacrifices herself for him and family in their early years, and reaps her rewards later as well-loved matriarch of a warm, close knit, admirable family.*
Reward men appropriately for husbanding and fathering, and women can have what they want out of life with a man. ‘Appropriate’ means as defined by that man and no one else. So, a woman’s lifelong major task is to uncover what her man expects from her, and make sure she will not be victimized in whatever follows. (Of course she can claim that she’s due the same thing. But, he lacks the skills and interest to provide it.)
It’s humongously tough to do. Reward mostly means respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. But each man individualizes it. Among the natural female ‘nessies’ described in post #59, there are innumerable ways for a woman to reward her man. When she continually shines in his eyes, that’s usually reward enough.
* Thanks to Nia Vardalos for the neck analogy from her movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
A Guy Note: Women know what they want, but they don’t know how to get it. They’re doing it all wrong. That’s What Women Never Hear, but now they can read it here.