Think of cross-stressing as having two responsibilities that conflict and you can’t make up your mind. After you decide one way, you have doubts. Cross-stressing makes it difficult to live with yourself. We all need ‘decision-helpers’ to ease such internal strains. A family rank structure provides such a ‘helper’ for women.
A couple creates a family and adds a child. Beneath their personal beliefs, emotions, promises, and vows, each member ‘inherits’ a primary mission dictated by their male or female nature.
- Husband produces, provides, protects, and problem solves in the interest of home and family.
- Wife dominates the home, maintains the marital relationship, keeps husband on track to help fulfill her hopes and dreams, and hopes to keep husband devoted to her for life. (This summarizes her primal urges described at 702, 703, 704.)
- Mother integrates and maintains family relationships. She nurtures and dominates the children with hopes of keeping them devoted to her for life.
- Father supports and enforces mother’s teaching of obedience to the child. (If he helps directly with child care, he’s motivated by something other than his nature.)
- Children must pay attention to right, wrong, and obedience. (Without direct parental input, they also learn to duplicate parental behaviors.)
Those naturally induced primary missions separate married adults into four roles that compete even within individuals. Ergo, cross-stressing continues tomorrow with conflicts that arise.