511. The ABCs when A stands for Women

Women come first, because they determine the rules of life and its social and domestic games. Unfortunately, through immaturity, ignorance, or stupidity, many disregard or misuse their female nature.

God designed and Nature genetically and hormonally endows females with expertise to build and sustain relationship compatibility:

©     Women are instinctively driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This instinctive drive holds society together in family units.

©     A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. Her nature seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill such need, she has two options. Give of herself to a helpmate, or do it alone, lonesome, and perhaps eventually lonely, isolated, or desperate.

©     A woman does not absolutely need a man, but she wants company or assistance at specific times in life. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people, unexpected events, and catastrophes. She wants comfort in needy times and companionship for prevention of loneliness. (Doesn’t this qualify Mr. Good Enough as potential Mr. Right?) Intuitively she favors one man, because two will not knowingly share her except when one cuckolds the other.  

©     Women fear abandonment more than anything else. First by mother as little girl, then by father as bigger girl, and finally by her man.

©     Time focus—Women focus their doing on the present and their thinking on the future. Most of their present-day concerns and activities are handled as the result of earlier anticipation and planning.

Handling of sex issues other than coitus determine a woman’s success with her primal drive, need, want, fear, and time focus. This means men, next post.

281. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’m! — Post 4 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♂ Tell any man what he’s doing wrong in the sex department and expect unintended consequences.

♂ A man readily assumes that each woman appreciates his sexual performance, or something is wrong with her.

♂ He’s never eager to admit fault about his sexual prowess. Nor should he be excused, but she ventures onto rocky terrain when she brings it up.

♂ Commitment to a relationship does not mean she’s cherished. Neither does commitment energize a man the same way or extent that devotion does. 

♂ He takes her criticism as personal affront. Either he did it wrong, or he should have figured her out better.

♂ If he disappoints, she’s confused. If she explains, he takes it personally. If she goes too far or too fast, he thinks she’s too experienced.

♂ Men can be changed. They dig in their heels, however, when not done with the respect they expect and the indirectness that they can more easily honor.

♂ Men may be insensitive clods to women. But they consider their manly sexual expertise and boudoir manner to be exceptional if not extraordinary.

♂ The female mystery that men perceive varies greatly from one woman to another. So, where does he start but to feel his way along? (No pun intended.)   

♂ Virtual virginity works better than bed-testing before marriage. It conditions his thinking that she’s highly sensitive about what she expects of him. (See post 273 et al about virtual virginity.)

♂ Women make unmarried sex so easy that men don’t have to pay attention to her needs, drives, and desires. But doubts arise about her history and worth for marriage, if she’s too easily conquered.

It’s easy to talk about men being more considerate of a woman’s sexual wants, needs, and desires. As we have seen, however, men often interfere.

[More on this subject appears in posts 276, 271, and 266 and ends at future post 286.]

266. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am! — Post 1 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♫ Their natures and interests differ markedly on this subject. He’s made one way, she’s made another. She wants them to be more alike, he wants them to just get on with it.

♫ Women nurture, men lead. Women want to be nurtured in their sex life, but men don’t nurture well. It makes them feel feminized, wussified.

♫ Her needs for attention and affection are minor compared to his need for acceptance as sex partner—that is, if she’s to be a keeper. 

♫ His primal motivations are conqueror’s role before and conqueror’s rights after their first sex together. Conquest itself must have pleased her, or she would not have yielded. So, why should anything else be needed?

♫ Male sensitivity about his sexual prowess exceeds female willingness to complain. Women intuitively know this. So, they complain to sister females rather than to their man.

♫ Men are on a mission to deliver love with a prepackaged agenda. Virtual virginity forces him to repackage himself with consideration for other things such as her personal preferences. (See post 248 about virtual virginity.)

♫ Women can talk about it—to other women, that is. But, talking to their man requires more caution and indirectness than that used in international diplomacy and negotiation, where phrases can sometimes have double, different, or even opposite meanings.

♫ It takes a lot of time and desire for a man to figure her out physically. He’s too preoccupied with figuring her out mentally and emotionally.

As we have seen, men should be more considerate of female wants, needs, and desires. However, human nature often interferes

NOTE: Thanks to her highness at beyondjems.wordpress.com. Her comments prompted me to start this series.