Tag Archives: his devotion

1967. LOVE: They Love Very Differently

Major differences in upbringing separate women into two pools, mature and immature (aka adult and adult-adolescent). That separation distinguishes how women perceive and respond to manly love.
• Mature women expect more than commitment before they marry. Immature women overrate commitment. They commit themselves to a man’s highly pleasing and promising words. Such a woman does not wait to establish that a man is devoted to her. She never learns what a devoted man looks like except by watching and envying other couples.
• Mature women do not tire or become bored with a devoted man. Adolescent-minded women wish they had a devoted man but they become bored if they do. They expect to hear a continual flow of new, exciting, and reinforcing words about their importance. Actions speak too quietly for them. They cannot imagine and convert their man’s devoted actions into the words they want to hear. Boredom causes loss of gratitude, which reduces happiness, which registers with their man as less respect, and which reduces manly love of them. Thus, an immature woman falls prey to distraction and other interests when her man acts natural. That is, when he changes after conquest, gives no evidence of bonding through sex, and takes her for granted after marriage.
Men do not love as women do.
• Men may or may not love as the result of their commitment and pledges of fidelity. They step up to duty and love in their own fashion, but it is not woman-think love.
• A man’s deepest love is the result of dedication and action that signify devotion and that program his heart through repetition. Commitment obligates the mind; devotion obligates the heart. Both can last a lifetime.
• A man’s love is based on respect for one woman he sees as virtuous. He appreciates her attractiveness but does not truly understand her feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, monogamous expectations, and other unique values and natural imperatives. However, he admires some or many of those factors. Her faithfulness to her feminine nature—the opposite of Feminism—uplifts her in every man’s eyes until one finds her extraordinarily promising enough to want to spend his life with her. [131]
• The male nature makes a man respect that which he earns and not truly appreciate unearned gifts. Earning the gift of someone’s love is the root of male love. If a woman loves a man without his having earned it, he will not learn to respect her enough to devote himself to her. Commit? Yes. Devote? No. By doing things to please her, his actions program his heart to appreciate her out of which comes his devotion. (Falling in love at first sight programs a man’s heart immediately but claiming it raises the red flag.)
• Men appreciate women they respect. They feast their eyes on their woman’s attractiveness. They admire her unique female and fascinating qualities. They take actions to please her for herself rather than just for sex, and thus over time become devoted to her. That is, men appreciate, feast, admire, and act out their love until they are sure they have won her. Then, they become less obvious. Having won a mate, they move on to bigger challenges, which women call taking them for granted—which women usually do too once they have given birth.
• When a man truly loves a woman, it overwhelms but does not kill his want of independence. Being primarily a taker, he expects to take what he deserves in exchange for yielding his independence for marriage. If wife does not know how to provide the rewards that he expects for husbanding and fathering, his devotion wanes and incompatibility begins to arise.
• When he knows he has truly won a mate through marriage, he soon takes her for granted. The win frees him to move on to new challenges; what she should see as his unique way of solidifying devotion to her. Spurred by the duty associated with devotion, he sustains it by pleasing his own heart and expresses it by doing better at producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving.
Women do not love as men do.
• Women give of themselves in exchange for attention, appreciation, and affection that recognize their importance to those they love. Loving someone is a self-centered process that both blesses and confirms their natural inheritance of self-worth, -importance, and -love. Thus, loving themselves for loving someone else is the root of female love. Without someone to love, their lives are empty.
• Women hopefully or mistakenly believe that men love the same way. It is a major and probably the major cause of incompatibility to expect of men what women expect of themselves.
Modern females trash the natural order of finding a mate. Instead of making men earn the gift of their love, they provide sex with mistaken conceptions and expectations. Consequently, they commit too easily and mishandle themselves out of earning a man’s devotion. The seeds of incompatibility are sown, many marriages are destined to easily fall apart, and all because they expect men to love as women love.


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1923. Compatibility Axioms #171-180

171. Wish I had said this: “You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him.” [from Julia Shaw’s article “Marry Young” at www.slate.com]

172. A man’s loyalty and devotion to wife and children is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in her home and his castle. [97]

173. Small breasts have great value in helping to keep men faithful. Large breasts appeal to the adolescent side of men. They admire the large and look for the larger, which shifts their mindset to sex play with other women (and weight control goes out the window with women.) [98]

174. Younger women and imitators primarily use skin to make boobs attractive. It works. However, it captures male attention with thoughts of sex (just as hugging does). They bypass her other qualities. When she pushes sex onto the back burner, men tend to chase her for who she is more than what she can do or what she might be in bed. [98]

175. When dating, men like their woman to look seductive so that he appears like a great conqueror. Not so after marriage. He wants her to look trophy-like, happy with him, and obviously available only to him. [98]

176. Meaningless sex eventually leaves women feeling empty. Promiscuity compounds to weaken their feminine self-respect, -worth and -image. They become aware in middle age if not before. [99]

177. Promiscuity reinforces to women that men are only after sex. Chastity teaches women that men are more interesting than that. [99]

178. Promiscuous sex teaches men that women are playthings and easily dominated or dumped. Chastity teaches men that women have respectable values and are not easily bamboozled.  [99]

179. After early passion wilts among couples, men do not stay long or dependably with women they conquered as pushovers. Round heels turn off the Marrying Man. [99]

180. With so much unmarried sex available in society, men are enticed to comparison shop their wife against the young and more ideal. Even late night TV shows in the bedroom stimulate husband’s imagination (and probably that of less devoted women also). [99]


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1125. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 31

  • A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.
  • Being feminine makes a woman very unique, which maximizes her value to men.  
  • Her affection and love do not register as gratitude for him.
  • His ego and sense of significance are the same.
  • If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for or thinks of him.
  • If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.
  • Men usually keep their love under wraps. When they express love, they do so through actions designed to please her. He shows his love in spurts.
  • To her, his words speak more loudly than his actions. It’s quite the opposite of his view.

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996. Coffee and Tea with Mrs. G. — #18

Ladies: The longer a female refuses sex before marriage, the more she empowers herself for non-sexual influence after marriage. It helps with these troublesome causes and effects:

  • Women compete with women to win a responsible man, which means to live up to a woman’s expectations. Men compete with men to win a respectably virtuous female, which means as men perceive virtue.
  • Less respectable virtue in women makes them less valuable except for sex. It makes men less interested in ‘possessing’ one separately for their selves. Consequently, with less virtue in women, men become less personally responsible than women desire.
  • Less responsible men means women have to lower values, standards, and expectations to match whatever sense of responsibility men have.
  • Dedication is his effort; devotion is what she receives. From signs of his dedication, she infers his devotion, because he doesn’t talk about it as she would like.
  • A man’s devotion is based on respect for her. Her devotion is based on hope for them.

Have a great day, Ladies.

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947. Commitment and Devotion

Reorganized, clarified, and reissued as #1819.


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940. Virgin Bride: Actual or Virtual?

Editor’s Note: Some subjects stir the ire or confuse lady readers. Virginity does. Just remember, men usually have a passionate and perhaps vested interest in what they tell women about it. This blog aims at WhatWomenNeverHear, not to preach but just to inform.


Her Highness Ruby cites and Her Highness Camille confirms their confusion about husband being ‘surprised’ to find wife a virgin on the wedding night. I hope to show that virginity is no asset, if she just gives it away in fact or discloses it as a promise.

This blog focuses on the basic nature of men and women. As part of their nature, women seek marriage, but men don’t need it. For a man to marry, a woman must hold promise for him as wife, likeable companion, and sex in that order. His hormones, however, far too easily convince him not to think about the future but focus on the present, and so his thinking reverses the order. He keeps sex foremost until conquest, or she convinces him that she holds more promise for him than just sex.

Putting sex first puts him in artificial light relative to marriage. It leads to her yielding prematurely, and conquest confirms to him that his studliness should or can be appreciated elsewhere in the female world. (His conquest mission is over, so who’s next? The male competitive nature pushes him to propagate successes. Remember, we’re talking without involvement of love and other emotions that might inspire him to do otherwise. As for her risk, he may or may not be so inspired.)

Whether dating, committed, or engaged, he constantly pings for conquest or knowledge of her history. Why? Knowledge of her history helps him conquer. Also, her quality as wife adds or detracts from his sense of significance. And the fewer men she’s known, the higher her value as wife, and the greater his sense of significance. Her risk: (How many is too many for his significance?)

Getting a man to the altar is all about getting him devoted to her deeply and exclusively. The path to such devotion lies with making her sexual relations, assets, and history far less important than she as person and object of his respect.

For marriage to last, he must be devoted to her as both respected and respectable mate. Sex won’t hold him. Therefore, she marries best who withholds unmarried sex, because it leads to greater devotion. She marries smartest who maximizes importance of married sex, because it more likely makes him appreciate her wifeliness and likeable companionship.

If he marries not knowing whether she’s actual or virtual virgin, he’s already processed in his mind that he accepts her as is. If he’s ‘surprised’ on his wedding night, he gets more than he expected. If not surprised, he gets what he expected. Both ways he finally wins by conquering her.

(He overlooks that she conquered him first for marriage; he went through engagement knowing the final decision was his. Even though he married, as he views it, he was not really conquered; the wise wife agrees even though she intended otherwise all along.)

If she laid the proper unmarried groundwork, he’s no longer curious about her past except he doesn’t want to face another man and know that he bedded her. (He too easily imagines that she’s reminded to compare their sexual performance, and he comes out second best. The thought embarrasses him. He doesn’t blame the guy or her for doing it; he blames her for having the experience to compare them.)

Far beyond just interest and commitment, unmarried devotion rises best when sexual matters are made unimportant, and only she can do it. When he learns to honor her wishes about personal and private matters, devotion builds. Devotion to her makes her more promising as wife, likeable companion, and sex in that order.


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508. Response to Viewer — Item 05

Easybreezy asked when she should tell a guy that she’s ‘saving herself for marriage’. No right answer exists, but an ideal one may.

It’s best if he doesn’t have to be told but discovers it with marriage, but that’s virtually impossible nowadays. If he has to be told, the following might be ideal. Use the issue to confirm his devotion instead of just commitment.

First, you mutually commit to marriage. Then, if you’re sure he’s not just saying it to conquer you, telling him may be okay. But that’s an imprecise judgment call.

So, how about a more precise test? Tell him between his words “Will you marry me” and your accepting the ring. Full disclosure at this time will ease doubts about whether he’s after SEX or YOU. Of course it’s risky and maybe hazardous, but then what isn’t about courtship brought to a head or getting him to accept your standards and expectations.

I favor making it none of his business; your actions show that having sex is not on the premarital agenda.* The following pressures favor delay, delay, delay.

·        When you say “I’m saving myself” in the modern world, you’re effectively saying “You’re not good enough.” You attack his significance. It’s a demotivator for all but the guy that cherishes you beyond all else.

·        Not yielding and not explaining brings out the best and worst in him. You learn to ‘read’ and better predict his true interests regarding you.

·        Delay after delay gains more time to condition his thinking about you and what you bring to him and marriage. More time for his curiosity to stimulate his imagination about the promises of marital sex. (I quoted him before: Einstein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”)

·        If you successfully save yourself, he will know he earned the greatest reward you have to give from a woman he admires and respects for her having kept the issue private even with him. No better sign exists of your self-respect.

None of this is foolproof, but it seems ideal to this man.

* Following Easybreezy’s comments on post 504, Her Highness Stacy and Princess Reina add lots of high quality perspective and practicality.


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