1125. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 31

• A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.
• Being feminine makes a woman very unique, which maximizes her value to men.  
• Her affection and love do not register as gratitude for him.
• His ego and sense of significance are the same.
• If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for or thinks of him.
• If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.
• Men usually keep their love under wraps. When they express love, they do so through actions designed to please her. He shows his love in spurts.
• To her, his words speak more loudly than his actions. It’s quite the opposite of his view.

996. Coffee and Tea with Mrs. G. — #18

Ladies: The longer a female refuses sex before marriage, the more she empowers herself for non-sexual influence after marriage. It helps with these troublesome causes and effects:

• Women compete with women to win a responsible man, which means to live up to a woman’s expectations. Men compete with men to win a respectably virtuous female, which means as men perceive virtue.
• Less respectable virtue in women makes them less valuable except for sex. It makes men less interested in ‘possessing’ one separately for their selves. Consequently, with less virtue in women, men become less personally responsible than women desire.
• Less responsible men means women have to lower values, standards, and expectations to match whatever sense of responsibility men have.
• Dedication is his effort; devotion is what she receives. From signs of his dedication, she infers his devotion, because he doesn’t talk about it as she would like.
• A man’s devotion is based on respect for her. Her devotion is based on hope for them.

Have a great day, Ladies.

947. Commitment and Devotion

Reorganized, clarified, and reissued as #1819.

940. Virgin Bride: Actual or Virtual?

Editor’s Note: Some subjects stir the ire or confuse lady readers. Virginity does. Just remember, men usually have a passionate and perhaps vested interest in what they tell women about it. This blog aims at WhatWomenNeverHear, not to preach but just to inform.

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Her Highness Ruby cites and Her Highness Camille confirms their confusion about husband being ‘surprised’ to find wife a virgin on the wedding night. I hope to show that virginity is no asset, if she just gives it away in fact or discloses it as a promise.

This blog focuses on the basic nature of men and women. As part of their nature, women seek marriage, but men don’t need it. For a man to marry, a woman must hold promise for him as wife, likeable companion, and sex in that order. His hormones, however, far too easily convince him not to think about the future but focus on the present, and so his thinking reverses the order. He keeps sex foremost until conquest, or she convinces him that she holds more promise for him than just sex.

Putting sex first puts him in artificial light relative to marriage. It leads to her yielding prematurely, and conquest confirms to him that his studliness should or can be appreciated elsewhere in the female world. (His conquest mission is over, so who’s next? The male competitive nature pushes him to propagate successes. Remember, we’re talking without involvement of love and other emotions that might inspire him to do otherwise. As for her risk, he may or may not be so inspired.)

Whether dating, committed, or engaged, he constantly pings for conquest or knowledge of her history. Why? Knowledge of her history helps him conquer. Also, her quality as wife adds or detracts from his sense of significance. And the fewer men she’s known, the higher her value as wife, and the greater his sense of significance. Her risk: (How many is too many for his significance?)

Getting a man to the altar is all about getting him devoted to her deeply and exclusively. The path to such devotion lies with making her sexual relations, assets, and history far less important than she as person and object of his respect.

For marriage to last, he must be devoted to her as both respected and respectable mate. Sex won’t hold him. Therefore, she marries best who withholds unmarried sex, because it leads to greater devotion. She marries smartest who maximizes importance of married sex, because it more likely makes him appreciate her wifeliness and likeable companionship.

If he marries not knowing whether she’s actual or virtual virgin, he’s already processed in his mind that he accepts her as is. If he’s ‘surprised’ on his wedding night, he gets more than he expected. If not surprised, he gets what he expected. Both ways he finally wins by conquering her.

(He overlooks that she conquered him first for marriage; he went through engagement knowing the final decision was his. Even though he married, as he views it, he was not really conquered; the wise wife agrees even though she intended otherwise all along.)

If she laid the proper unmarried groundwork, he’s no longer curious about her past except he doesn’t want to face another man and know that he bedded her. (He too easily imagines that she’s reminded to compare their sexual performance, and he comes out second best. The thought embarrasses him. He doesn’t blame the guy or her for doing it; he blames her for having the experience to compare them.)

Far beyond just interest and commitment, unmarried devotion rises best when sexual matters are made unimportant, and only she can do it. When he learns to honor her wishes about personal and private matters, devotion builds. Devotion to her makes her more promising as wife, likeable companion, and sex in that order.

508. Response to Viewer — Item 05

Easybreezy asked when she should tell a guy that she’s ‘saving herself for marriage’. No right answer exists, but an ideal one may.

It’s best if he doesn’t have to be told but discovers it with marriage, but that’s virtually impossible nowadays. If he has to be told, the following might be ideal. Use the issue to confirm his devotion instead of just commitment.

First, you mutually commit to marriage. Then, if you’re sure he’s not just saying it to conquer you, telling him may be okay. But that’s an imprecise judgment call.

So, how about a more precise test? Tell him between his words “Will you marry me” and your accepting the ring. Full disclosure at this time will ease doubts about whether he’s after SEX or YOU. Of course it’s risky and maybe hazardous, but then what isn’t about courtship brought to a head or getting him to accept your standards and expectations.

I favor making it none of his business; your actions show that having sex is not on the premarital agenda.* The following pressures favor delay, delay, delay.

·        When you say “I’m saving myself” in the modern world, you’re effectively saying “You’re not good enough.” You attack his significance. It’s a demotivator for all but the guy that cherishes you beyond all else.

·        Not yielding and not explaining brings out the best and worst in him. You learn to ‘read’ and better predict his true interests regarding you.

·        Delay after delay gains more time to condition his thinking about you and what you bring to him and marriage. More time for his curiosity to stimulate his imagination about the promises of marital sex. (I quoted him before: Einstein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”)

·        If you successfully save yourself, he will know he earned the greatest reward you have to give from a woman he admires and respects for her having kept the issue private even with him. No better sign exists of your self-respect.

None of this is foolproof, but it seems ideal to this man.

* Following Easybreezy’s comments on post 504, Her Highness Stacy and Princess Reina add lots of high quality perspective and practicality.

470. He’s Wary to Marry — Section 1

Some women drop virginity and chastity on the premise that females have the same sexual rights as males. Other women believe that having the right does not make it right.

Some women tear down masculinity to get what women want. Other women uplift manliness to get what women want.

Some women teach young girls about sex without love, abandon them to experiment, and ignore their maturation. Other women teach young girls to mature first, love next, and leave sex to marriage.

Some women discourage manly devotion by providing cheap, uncommitted sex. Other women inspire manly devotion by delaying a man’s conquest until he wants her for much more than sex.

Some women popularize the feminist ideal, which makes men retreat from committing with one woman for much more than shack up. Other women persuade a man to commit for marry up by refusing to shack up.

Some women reject the concept or refuse on principle to fill the biblical role of wife submitting to husband. Other women realize that ‘submissiveness’ is more attitude than principle, more respect than honor, more cooperation than obedience, and that high power exists in softness.

Some women use casual sex to attract men, which fails to earn a man’s devotion or obligate him for much more than sex. Other women push hard for No Sex without Marriage, which creates time to deepen his interest, respect, and devotion for one woman.

Some women make themselves worthy of a man just to have one. Other women insist a man make himself worthy of her before marriage, and then she makes herself worthy of him after they marry.

Some women seek words of commitment before yielding. Other women seek a man’s devoted actions before allowing his conquest.

Some women convince themselves that the right combination of passion, love, religious beliefs, common interests, and kids will keep their relationship together. Other women know there’s no such insurance and that special stroking of her man as king to her queen is essential.

460. KEEPERS FOR KEEPERS — Assortment 14

Dear Daughter: Some more nuggets worthy of your review:

v Whether girlfriend, fiancé, or wife, she is responsible to sustain her man’s devotion. Otherwise, her behavior squelches it. [17]

v Women as lovers and live-ins contribute little to harnessing masculine aggression, because their potential for being dumped significantly reduces their influence. [18]

v Women either set civilizing, domesticating, and cultural values through home life, or men foist masculine hubris on female sensibilities. [18]

v The better she looks to herself, often measured by the reaction of others, the faster she learns in iddy-biddy steps to like herself more. [11]

v Envy causes the appearance of husband’s comfort arrangements to cry out for her correction. So, wives try, tempers fly, husbands defy, and then say goodbye. [9]

v Modern females advertise and provide the sexual equivalent of video games just waiting to be played. He hits the jackpot with shack up, and she pays off. [15]

v Maximum cleavage or near-nipple exposure focuses men on sex instead of the female and downgrades her other qualities. [12]

v Husbands want to be confirmed as significant, but wives provide affection. Wives want to be shown affection, but men assume that their continuing presence signifies affection. [4]

v If he shows disrespect for her before their first sex together, it will worsen after conquest. [9]

v Her strengths working for her: Don’t marry until he needs no more upgrades to please her for life. [17]

419. KEEPERS FOR KEEPERS — Assortment 09

Dear Daughter: Another review worth a review.

♥ Women kiss a frog. He turns into her prince. They marry. Then, she neuters him. Then she can’t stand him. [9]

♥ Women don’t make a man prove himself worthy of her. When words are enough to conquer, men offer little else. [18]

♥ Women are not ignorant of men, but what they know is often wrong. [5]

♥ Think your man can’t get any worse? I once heard a guy introduce his wife to another man this way in the presence of three male friends: “This is my ugly wife, (her name).” [17]

♥ The time spent brushing hair in the mirror is productive. Researchers say it doesn’t improve hair, but the female nature energizes her to make the most of what she’s got, and so she easily comes up with new ideas for better grooming and appearance. [11]

♥ Soft-headedness and cheap sex breed many bad female decisions. [9]

♥ Romance to a woman means displays of affection that confirm and reconfirm her value to a man and his sincerity and devotion to her. [8]

♥ Of course it’s not fair, but men have little interest partnering with only one woman—unless women sell it and reward both husbanding and fathering. [7]

♥ Modern men deal with females as sex consumables, because females cheapen sex by providing it without obligation for marriage. [15]

♥ Men receive distinct sexual messages from every woman, and it starts with boob display. [12]