444. When women take up football

Vince Lombardi unintentionally weakened home life when his football leadership expanded the masculine spirit this way: “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

Unfortunately, women seek to be more like men, and so they copy Vince.

The female nature favors how one plays the game rather than winning for its own sake. Nevertheless, modern wives adopt the Lombardi spirit. They self-induce ingratitude and bitterness for their man, because they don’t get their way or win domestic squabbles. Daughters learn to copy mom, and the next generation amplifies ingratitude and bitterness.

This weakens a major cultural standard that favors women and children and compounds many social and domestic ills—even bitterness beyond divorce, which so injures offspring of all ages.

442. Trust but verify

Advice for lovelorn females: Women get confused, desperate, and make poor choices. She should take time to trust a man but verify his actions. The learning process will unclog her mind and heart, especially if she starts to learn early in adolescence.

Unless she ignores it, as the unfortunate do, each woman’s love is built on a foundation of her self-love and hopes and dreams for a bright future with a man. She has three options to work toward: To be cherished, get his commitment, or generate his devotion. The former goes too far, the second disfavors her, and the latter option improves odds for marital success.

Cherished, the kind that princess daughters enjoy from their fathers, goes too far. Nevertheless, some women seek to duplicate father’s presence, or they missed the father-princess phase of life.

If she finds such a man, disappointment sets in. She can’t always get her way. He’s not as much like real or imagined father as she hoped, so she judges him continually on a father-standard. Her ingratitude and disrespect follow, because he never measures up to what he can’t read—her imagination.

Commitment is short term, present oriented, full of loopholes, and favors men over women. Couples stir their infatuation, lust, and romantic love with words that herald commitment to each other. It works well until domestic life intervenes and romantic love fades in a year or two.

More than words are needed to seal their future together. So, the wise woman searches for confirming actions that signal his devotion. A man’s feelings and intentions are expressed more in actions that mislead her than words that please her. Long courtships thus enable her to discriminate and evaluate his worth to her.

Devotion can be seen in actions that outshine a man’s words. He acts out rather than expresses his feelings, fulfills his promises, and spends what time he can with her for the sake of nothing else. He looks to her for confirmation, comfort, and companionship. He works harder outside the home to fulfill his manly role of provider and protector. His devotion shines from what he does for her, even though his affectionate words will be more scarce than she likes.

Summary. Being cherished as by father can’t be duplicated by a man worth keeping. Commitment too strongly favors a man over her. Practical living confirms devotion as essential to the females’ preferred domestic life.

242. Newlywed Bonding #3 — Respect as glue

Women marry so buried in love that they ignore a more critical issue to fulfilling their hopes and dreams—the importance of respect to their man and for the male nature.

First, men marry for significance. A husband expects wife’s respect for who he is and gratitude for what he does. It symbolizes his significance.

Second, husband’s greatest fear is insignificance, symbolized by wife’s disrespect and ingratitude. If she doesn’t depend upon him for a lot, or if she’s too independent, his sense of significance fades.

Third, a man’s love is based on respect for a particular woman. His unconditional respect for the female gender helps immensely, if he has it.  

Fourth, he wants her to stay the woman he married. He expects her not to change, but many women do. She loses both respect and her identity as the exciting thing that turned him onto marriage. His marital dream fades.

Fifth, she expects to change him into the man of her dreams. When she tries to change him, he resists. She pushes, he resents. She tries too hard, he retaliates. Ultimately, she loses so much respect that his masculine nature trumps his love.

Wife’s greatest fear is abandonment. A husband doesn’t stay long with a wife that he doesn’t respect or that doesn’t respect and appreciate him.

[More about newlywed bonding appears in posts 230 and 224. Scroll down or search for the number followed by a dot and space.]

228. Female Fortitude—46 through 50

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

46. Some women dress erotically to capture a man and follow up with sloppy dress and grooming that turns his head toward other neat and erotically attired females. Other women know that sloppy appearance and inattentive personal grooming at home and in public spawns other women as potential trophies in their man’s eyes.

47. Dark Side Truth #3—Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to favor ingratitude for their man’s imperfections rather than gratefulness for his manliness and strengths. Eventually, a man tires of it, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows.

49. First impressions motivate a man. Modest boobery signals she’s relatively unavailable but may be worth a chase. The man that finds her sufficiently attractive preps himself to spend a lot of time and effort with her. He figures it’s needed just to penetrate her resistance that’s reflected by her apparent modesty. Her modesty energizes his perceptiveness and imagination to her advantage. It also pressures him to learn to honor her expectations for him.

50.  Old school. When women denied sex without marriage, men didn’t take rejection personally. They blamed her hang ups, moral,  religious, or whatever. New school. As modern females provide sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. Some males can’t recover one much less repeated refusals. It can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

217. Do women know jack about Jack? — Part 13

♂ Women try to be more like men, while men want women to be more female, feminine, and fancy.

♂ If he were as good as she expects, he would have chosen another woman.

♂ If his commitment—whether true or disingenuous—is enough for her to yield, his devotion will likely never grow to her satisfaction.

♂ If husband expects wife to dress seductively in public, he wants other men to admire him more than her. This reveals self-centeredness, and when aging makes her less youthful or attractive, she will be expendable—emotionally if not physically. 

♂ If she chases a man or men, then she appears desperate and disposable.

♂ If she is unhappy with him, he sees it like this: Her ingratitude appears unjustified, because he is a good man doing his best. If he thinks otherwise, he does not care about her unhappiness and probably looks elsewhere already.

♂ Over time men seek improvements on certain things until they are satisfied or otherwise compensated. These are the main drivers: Frequent and convenient sex; meals prepared for them; comfortable hut or better; disposable sex partners, or an attractive wife, that reflect credit on him to his male friends and competitors.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

175. Female malpractice—Part 3

♣ Morality serves women much more than men. To the extent a woman fails to live within and uphold a self-imposed strong moral code, she can expect mistreatment by men and consequent mistreatment of herself by herself.

♣ Women choose to ignore this benefit dealing with a man. When she repeatedly refuses their first-time sex, he honors her wishes, explores her qualities, heeds her strengths, and accepts her weaknesses. More importantly, she learns whether he’s after her or just after sex. (Details appear in posts about Virtual Virginity.)

♣ Women use sex to capture men for short term benefits. Long term relationships are thus greatly weakened.

♣ Men expect respect and gratitude from their woman. Her encouraging and cheering him onward and upward provides it. Nagging and criticism cancel it.

♣ Women yield first time sex to men who threaten to leave if she doesn’t. Next step: Dumped. It’s not her. He got what he’s after.

♣ Men flourish with a woman’s respect and gratefulness much more than her love and affection. Modern women provide love and affection well punctuated with disrespect and ingratitude.

♣ Men are as handsome, charming, and beneficial as women treat them. They are as unappealing, aggressive, and dominant as women call them. The self-fulfilling prophecy works both ways.

[More about female malpractice appears at posts 164 and 150. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

162. Do women know jack about Jack? Part 9

 Women ask me to tell men what they do wrong, how they miss what women expect. I can’t. Only women know what they expect. Only women can induce men to change. Only women know how to spread indirectness, patience, and care onto his agenda, so she can merge her agenda and complete the marital sandwich.

·         Men don’t change because men say so or think they should.

·         Men don’t change because women say so either.

·         Men change for one basic reason: To be more adventurous, competitive, or successful at what they do with their life. If a woman can‘t enable and empower him to do so, she loses influence to change him.

·         If women want their man to change, they need to structure relationships so that their man becomes more successful in his mind, both inside and outside the home. If she can’t or won’t reward him for husbanding and fathering, she’s neither likely to change nor keep him.  

·         Her success with a man revolves around this fact of life: Negative intrusions into or comments about whatever he is or does show nothing but disrespect and ingratitude for him. Hell, he can get that with any woman.

·         Blame a woman, and she takes it under consideration. Blame a man, and he responds with proof that he’s not whatever she blames or claims. He fights back as if she’s just another guy.

 

·         Positive reinforcements about what he is and does grow a relationship

Only women can make men more valuable to females. They do so by making themselves more valuable to men generally and one particularly.   

47. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 02

Women might improve their lives living with a man if they face three truths about bringing the feminist spirit, theory, and dogma into the home.

⌂ Truth #1—Feminism pushes women to compete with their man in domains he considers his own. Competitive frustration follows when her man does not measure up to feminist-defined expectations about male behavior. This leads to finger-pointing and fault-finding, which escalates over time. Mutual trust and gratitude decline. She’s prompted into nagging, which is just a higher gear for speeding a man out of her life. Even the bible scorns the ‘quarrelsome wife’ in Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15-16.

⌂ Truth #2—Feminism in the home prompts women to adopt the unique male strength of directness and abandon the unique female strength of indirectness. Thus, women weaken their natural influence. Even worse, men don’t appreciate women that ‘get in his face’, and this narrows the gap between offense and non-offense. 

⌂ Truth #3—Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to favor ingratitude for their man’s imperfections rather than gratefulness for his manliness and strengths. Eventually, a man tires, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows.