139. Politically incorrect: The essence of family

Our Judeo-Christian culture over several centuries has taught this: Three separate and distinct roles provide the greatest insurance for family success. He’s the head, and she’s both neck and heart.

The head is the ultimate authority, responsible for the toughest decisions, and accountable for failures. Ill-equipped to manage family relationships directly, he contributes best when he’s focused on outside influences, opportunities, efforts, and what he does best: producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving.

The neck keeps the head turned and focused on whatever does or will brighten the family’s future. The neck points the head at desirable outcomes that  please the heart and everyone else including the head. While the head governs the present, the neck governs the long run and shapes the future.

The heart overcomes the harshness of daily life, energizes the head, molds family spirit, and shapes character of infants and toddlers. The heart lathers family members with love, joy, gratefulness, and, most importantly, hope. It also keeps the neck (herself) inspired to keep the head on track.

The head can perform neck but not heart functions and still render the wisest and most beneficial decisions. Too much emotional involvement and conflict exists for him to excel.

If she doesn’t crown him as family king, she inherits the head role also. Many women reject on feminist principle the crowning of their former prince as king. They usurp his role, and then find themselves dumped and unable to do what a good man can do.

One final obligation: The kids between toddlerhood and puberty will be absorbing their values from heroes. Either head, neck, or heart or all three should apply and qualify themselves for the job. Otherwise, kids will learn to imitate outsiders and anticipate doing the same from teen peers a few years hence.

Single moms: Oh, what it might have been?

AGM note: Thanks to Nia Vardalos for the head-turned-by-neck analogy. It’s from her flick, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

40. Her mushy thinking—Part 2

Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted. Oftentimes women go soft in their thinking. Mushy, that is. Poor results dealing with men usually follow:   

♀—She mates with a bad man or inadequate mate. When dumped or forced to drop him, she picks up with another loser, and then another….

♀—She thinks that men are like women in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together. We are mostly co-dependent, or so she imagines.

♀—She flaunts her co-dependency and faults her man when he has more important things to do.

♀—She becomes jealous too easily of the hold that his job has on him.

♀—She cheapens sex and herself in a man’s eyes by using sex to capture him. Men will hang around her until another sex target comes in view, and some may even go through the process of linking up, shacking up, and perhaps marrying up. But, split up is not far behind, because his respect for her is less than required for his permanency.

♀—She fails to grasp that sex primarily satisfies his raw appetite. When his ego is deeply massaged by hunting and overcoming all the obstacles to conquering her, his self-respect, respect for her, and her holding power over him skyrocket. This still does not mean that he will stay with her, but she has no better form of insurance. (Boyfriends cannot be sued for malpractice, at least not yet. A hundred or so years ago many people were sued for ‘alienation of affection’.)

♀—She thinks a hunk makes her feel good or look good to her sister females, so she puts more value in a man’s appearance than his character. His appearance tells nothing about how he will treat her, only how he admires himself. His character may already be corrupted for living with a female.

♀—She fails to recognize that men evaluate her character and non-sex assets before they first have sex. Afterwards he pays much less attention to what else she has to offer. (Hollywood and TV work diligently to hide this part of the male nature; they prefer to show the wishful but fruitless thinking of females who know little about men and nothing about the females’ strategic power potential when using virtual virginity.)

♀—She is so caught up in romantic love that she lacks both knowledge and skill to generate a man’s enduring love to replace their romantic love that will fade in a year or so.