781. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 11

• Seeking marriage? It’s not what you promise him. It’s the promise he sees in you.

 

• Trust a man’s actions but verify his words.

 

• Women make life tough for themselves. If they don’t care about appealing to the male gender generally, men conclude that women don’t care that much about having a permanent man. This means men don’t care that much about being the kind of man that women want to marry. It also means that women don’t particularly care about being the kind of woman that men want to live with for very long.

 

• Were I a woman, the day before my wedding I would swear to myself that I would never speak again of any exes, husbands, lovers, or boyfriends. My intended can’t ever be convinced he’s numero uno, if I raise competitive ghosts to him regardless of good, legitimate, or manipulative intentions. (I realize it’s probably not possible in today’s world, but I’d try my absolute best, and especially never belittle my number one by referring to any man.)

 

• All females have the potential to provide sex. So, except for attractiveness and availability, none is unique until conquest makes them descriptive— such as poor lay, good lay, disposable, lover, ex, dumpee, booty, live-in, etc.

169. Virtual Virginity #9

☼ Looking for Mr. Right, a woman has tough enemies. They include: (1) Being sexually active to keep up with her peers. (2) The lack of long range purpose and goals for her life. (3) Excessive eagerness to have boyfriend, live in, or husband. (4) Inexperience making sound judgments about HER long range future. Virtual virginity helps reduce the impact of these enemies.

☼ While her legs are crossed, a woman compares her thinking with her feelings, her wishes with the facts, her future with the promises she faces. Such clear-headedness brings far fewer mistakes.

☼ Keeping her legs crossed enables a female to control her relationships. It’s her cardinal power to test boyfriends, friends, and acquaintances for their ability to help fulfill her hopes and dreams.

☼ Of the friends, acquaintances, and newbys she knows, their potential value becomes evident when she lets ‘no sex with me’ produce and disclose to her this fallout: Mr. Wrong, Mr. Not Good Enough, Mr. Good Enough, and Mr. Right. Practice makes perfect.  

☼ Quality time after conquest is far different from quality time before.

☼ The longer she holds out, then the more the candidate for Mr. Right accepts her other values, standards, and expectations. If he fails to accept her and adjust his behavior accordingly, he’s automatically or should be Mr. Wrong.

[More on virtual virginity appears at posts 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, 44, and 25 below.] Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.

143. Chaste courtship works—Part 4

♀Using sex to capture a boyfriend is easy. Sex infatuates boys, but it does not bond men. Thus, unmarried sex paves the road to ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, or -wife.

♀Women have no greater direct influence on their own personal world than when they refuse to provide unmarried sex. Yielding weakens her influence and enhances his dominating spirit.

♀ Women have two major windows in which they can change their man: A long courtship before they first have sex and in middle age after Nature softens his heart. Both, however, require patience, indirectness, and feminine charm.

♀Women reject a long chaste courtship. They prefer the joys of sex over opportunity to makeover a man into Right Man. This forces her to seek to change him after marriage, a sure-fire way to push him toward other arms.

♀ Women want to change their man after marriage but find that they can’t. The male nature resists her pressures to change, except as a woman delays his premarital conquest to stimulate change.

♀ A long sex-free courtship resolves uncertainty about a man’s character and potential for successful marriage. Most men reveal their true character but not their entire Self, when facing a woman’s hard-headed and continuing delays for their first sex together. But, women are in charge of courtship only as long as it remains platonic.

♀ A simple test of a man’s devotion: He honors her needs and wants ahead of his own. If, however, he continually pleases her at the expense of his manly dreams, she will lose respect for him and he will eventually become dumper or dumpee. 

[More about the merits of chaste courtships appear in post 108, 107, and 100. Scroll down or search by the number.]

114. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 4

A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.

A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes, if he has to work hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling.

A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can get a permanent arrangement. Others cannot, except for temporary comfort and functionality.

A man’s not really interested in her, if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her.

A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential to a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one.

A woman that uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Love and affection are not enough though.

A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s more temp than keeper.

After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or he moves on.  

After conquest the infatuated but not fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, live in, or wife if necessary.

Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. Her value goes up with his difficulty achieving his goal. How he handles her obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her.  

[More about knowing jack about Jack appears in posts 97, 91, and 7 below. Just enter the number in the Search box above.] 

67. Exes, dumpees, and left behinds—Section I

Girls and women repeatedly spend time as ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-live in, ex-wife. Whether searching, shacking up, or married, women repeatedly bounce from one misery to another interrupted frequently with love that doesn’t last and often with a new child. First with a guy and then without, and then with a guy and then without, and then….

Males are just males. Mothers, girls, and wives turn them into promising boys and mature men that please or displease females.

Every man expects he will be great as a mate—by masculine standards, that is. They must be taught otherwise, if female expectations are met.

Sexual encounters do not improve men, because sex neither bonds nor changes them for female advantage. The actions and reactions of women withholding intercourse teach men to adopt female-friendly behaviors and try harder to please females.

When there’s a shortage of unmarried sex all across society, it shapes masculine thinking toward goodness and what women appreciate. Trying to qualify for sex by searching for a female’s weaknesses, a man coincidentally learns about her non-sexual strengths and qualities of value to him. His love needs that base, if it’s to endure beyond the fading of lust, infatuation, and romantic love.

The presence of unmarried sex all across modern society shapes masculine thinking against what women appreciate. The ease of bouncing blossom to blossom lures men away from spending very much effort on females and especially the baggage-laden interests of one. Also, male dominance intensifies.

Modern women don’t rise to the challenge of relationship management required to succeed as a couple. Instead, they act less feminine, more masculine, and objectify themselves for trading in the sexual marketplace.

When relationship mistakes and failures become evident, she dumps him before he dumps her.

She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.   

40. Her mushy thinking—Part 2

Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted. Oftentimes women go soft in their thinking. Mushy, that is. Poor results dealing with men usually follow:   

♀—She mates with a bad man or inadequate mate. When dumped or forced to drop him, she picks up with another loser, and then another….

♀—She thinks that men are like women in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together. We are mostly co-dependent, or so she imagines.

♀—She flaunts her co-dependency and faults her man when he has more important things to do.

♀—She becomes jealous too easily of the hold that his job has on him.

♀—She cheapens sex and herself in a man’s eyes by using sex to capture him. Men will hang around her until another sex target comes in view, and some may even go through the process of linking up, shacking up, and perhaps marrying up. But, split up is not far behind, because his respect for her is less than required for his permanency.

♀—She fails to grasp that sex primarily satisfies his raw appetite. When his ego is deeply massaged by hunting and overcoming all the obstacles to conquering her, his self-respect, respect for her, and her holding power over him skyrocket. This still does not mean that he will stay with her, but she has no better form of insurance. (Boyfriends cannot be sued for malpractice, at least not yet. A hundred or so years ago many people were sued for ‘alienation of affection’.)

♀—She thinks a hunk makes her feel good or look good to her sister females, so she puts more value in a man’s appearance than his character. His appearance tells nothing about how he will treat her, only how he admires himself. His character may already be corrupted for living with a female.

♀—She fails to recognize that men evaluate her character and non-sex assets before they first have sex. Afterwards he pays much less attention to what else she has to offer. (Hollywood and TV work diligently to hide this part of the male nature; they prefer to show the wishful but fruitless thinking of females who know little about men and nothing about the females’ strategic power potential when using virtual virginity.)

♀—She is so caught up in romantic love that she lacks both knowledge and skill to generate a man’s enduring love to replace their romantic love that will fade in a year or so.

37. When women act like men — Part 1

During her lifetime each female several times wrings herself out from tears that flow after her relationship falls apart. Then, she starts again her standard search for a teen boyfriend, Mr. Right, or Mister Last Chance. But eventually bad habits and desperation, or vice versa, creep in. She tries harder to please the next candidate.

Unfortunately, many women try to do so by making themselves more like men. They adopt masculine habits, such as sloppy attire, gungy grooming, lounging around as one of the guys, sealing friendships through intercourse, ignoring female-friendly moral standards even unto raunchiness, and generally letting men dominate the female side of their world.

Jean Jacque Rousseau said long ago: “The more women want to resemble them, the less women will govern them, and then men will truly be the masters.”

Trying too hard to win and keep a man, women repeatedly march into misery and away from marital success. As if some fateful voice calls cadence, break ups resound throughout the female world:

Hup, toop, thureep, four. Hup, toop, thureep, four. Hook up, shack up, marry up, split up. Hook up, marry up, muck up, pay up. Hook up, link up, everybody knock up. Shack up, split up, shack up, split up. Link up, shack up, cohabiting nice; keep up mating, but forget the rice. Hup, toop, thureep, four, and there he goes, out the door.

And men march in lock step alongside the female soft-headed drumbeat.

32. Dear Daughter — second letter

♀ Two conquerors compete and struggle. He seeks sex, and she seeks marriage. The conqueror shapes their subsequent relationship.

♀ Dominance among couples comes in several colors: Dominant mate or the head, dominant nester or the heart, and dominant family leader or the most cherished. Marriage works best when that sequence matches this: him, her, and either.

♀ Girls dream of a happy life with the right man. Men know they are the right man for any woman. Each man expects one woman to energize and shower him with wedded bliss. Of course it’s not fair, but it is Nature in action.

♀ In the movie, The King and I, Yul Brynner sings that women are made for one man, but men are made to go blossom-to-blossom. Masculine-style sexual freedom practiced by females makes the king’s musical model bloom as cheap, unobligated reality for modern men.

♀ After conquest, a man’s pursuit of a female stops, because he owns their sexual agenda. The maximum influence she wielded before conquest fades to much less. Worse, he quits looking for her weaknesses, so he stops uncovering her strengths.

♀ The real glue of a lasting marriage is not love so much as the absence of demeaning irritants, frequent hassles, and widening ingratitude for him and lessening of affection for her.

♀ A female eager to accept a male as sex partner bypasses the process by which she earns his respect. This means that little within him grows to help commit him to her after lust and infatuation fade in a year or two.

♀ Both men and women rationalize that sex and even shack up should precede marriage so as to confirm compatibility. This male game emerges from feminist propaganda and dollars earned by TV and Hollywood. Of marriages following shack up, 80 percent fail.

♀ Female independence gained through masculine-style sexual freedom make marriage dwindle in importance, vitality, longevity, and appeal to men. Feminist politics and propaganda cannot make life fair.

♀ Feminism brought into the home changes the natural and cooperative battle of the sexes into an unnatural and competitive war of the sexes.

♀ Successful relationships depend upon the lessons girls learn while teaching boys to honor feminine values, standards, and expectations. Popularized and rampant teen sexual activity short-circuits this process. Men win, and women lose as relationships fail and click women into the recycle bin.

♀ Hollywood flicks, TV shows, and pop culture excitement convince women that premarital and first time sexual relations are an exciting way to capture a man. Or, it is the woman’s due, and yielding sex never has bad consequences. However, it’s both feminist and male propaganda.

♀ The more wives take feminist theory and dogma into the home, the more husbands decide the kind of husband or ex they will be.