1145. Favored Quotes—Collection 18

“One thing I recommend for any person in the future, if you’ve been with someone for more than a month and they haven’t changed their Facebook status to show that they are in a relationship, bail. No second chance, no hesitation, bail and never look back.” [Jim at 1136]

“Men put their self worth on what they do, which determines who they are. Women put their self worth on who they are, which determines what they do.” [Simplicity Evermore at 1139]

“Now, ‘love’ and ‘respect’ are really the same thing, the “difference” between them being a matter of focus.” [Ilion at 1102] [Guy adds: The merit rests with the firmly connected spirit behind both love and respect that prompts people to give rather than take.]

“When [women] started competing with each other we stopped trusting each other, and then we looked to men to replace the influence of good female friendships.  When that didn’t work (as it doesn’t in the vast majority of cases), the women harden their hearts and become even more competitive, judgy, insensitive, entitled, and unhappy. It is my firm belief that women NEED other women for love, support, and encouragement.  We might be able to get by without it but we are not better for it.” [Violet at 1134]

“So maybe it doesn’t matter if what he does is pleasing to me. Maybe what matters is that what he does is right, and it pleases me BECAUSE it is right.” [Simplicity Evermore at 1133]

867. Gender Differences Revisited — Group X

• A woman’s love shows up as words and actions that reveal her affection. As she demonstrates affection and loving kindness, she becomes more loving of the object of that affection. A man’s love shows up with his producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving for someone for whom he feels responsible. His loving actions confirm to him his love for that someone.
• The internal forces that push a man forward—qualities such as work ethic, responsibility, rugged individualism—are comparable to the internal forces that warm a woman’s psyche such as love, affection, and intimacy.
• Women complain about male dominance. The more a woman likes herself as a female for being female, and the more feminine she portrays herself as such, then the less she permits men to dominate her. Men learn easily to use much softer gloves with women they highly respect. And men respect friendly and feminine females that exploit their unique nature to the fullest—which excludes as a guy, man, feminist, radical, or something else.
• In the matter of self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence: Women expand and strengthen those qualities after they capture a boyfriend, mate, or husband. Men possess those qualities before capturing a mate, and if wife weakens them, she makes herself more burden than blessing.
• Women disclose their feelings easily; they view very open relationships as non-threatening. Men don’t need open relationships, and they don’t disclose feelings, unless it helps accomplish something.

800. Gender Differences Revisited — Group Q

1. Women see flattery as opportunity and take advantage to make themselves feel good. Men don’t.

2. When they demonstrate love, men are different than women. (This aspect of chromosomal XX ≠ XY disappoints women for life.)

3. When wife is the main breadwinner, husband’s significance fades. (He may be gracious and act that way, but he misses filling that role and longs for something or someone to compensate his sense of importance.)

4. When husband outshines wife in her areas of responsibility, his self-image expands proportional to her gratitude (which often fades and he often misses it). More importantly, when wife outdoes her husband in manly domains, she poisons his sense of significance.

5. Women multi-task and multi-converse, because their processing nature enables it. Men dislike and usually avoid both, because their producing nature make multi-thinking inefficient.

6. Women cohabit because they are desperate to capture or live with a man, or they seek economic advantage. Men cohabit, because she’s unworthy of marriage, he wants to keep his options open, he seeks frequent and convenient sex at low cost, it’s a cheap and friendly arrangement, or all of the above.

7. Women can turn an inadequate man into an adequate mate and vice versa. Men can turn adequate wives inadequate but not the reverse.

8. Women assess people more by character than occupation. Men lean toward the opposite.

798. Foreplay IV — Tips Again

A few more tips lead to closing this series:

• The later the cutoff of deepening foreplay, the greater the frustration. The greater the frustration, the less respect he holds for her, the less inclined she becomes to terminate foreplay the next time, and the closer they draw to intercourse.
• If she measures her sense of self-worth or his worthiness for her by her passions under foreplay pressures, he’s on the road to intercourse and she will perhaps lose him later rather than sooner.
• If he won’t respect body parts as untouchable when she seeks snuggling romance, does he respect her enough to love her? If he’s told to not touch or his wandering hands are moved, how does he react? Respectful withdrawal and restraint? Or, lack of restraint, persistence against her wishes, and disrespect?
• If he won’t honor her decisions regarding chasteness and allow her to prevent excess temptation, will he honor her other personal decisions once they marry? Don’t count on it.
• Foreplay is the best testing ground to prove that he’s worthy of her, to condition his thinking habits to accept her decisions. After marriage, or at least after romantic love fades in a year or two, few things will be more important to her than his respect for her opinions and decision-making.
• Think about a lengthy courtship. Gradual expansion of foreplay easily leads to sex before marriage. However, a firm stopping point can be negotiated and agreed to early in courtship. If he goes along and his devotion accepts conquest after marriage, she’s won the ballgame.

So, this series ends. Foreplay has been brought to a boil, condensed, and separated from romance, love, and female wishful thinking. It’s a great tool to show her wifely potential, but she has to exploit it.

768. Beware Red Flags — Part 4

Yesterday’s post was about in-laws and today it’s about the couple.

Take what follows as his potential as mate and not damnation of him as person. Perception is reality. If you see red flags waving, he may be Mr. Wrong. If not, however, it doesn’t make him Mr. Right.

The flavor of the list conveys all-out suspicion, but it’s not intended that way. It’s about you becoming more perceptive in the course of everyday life.

·        Are his promises of commitment confirmed by actions that show devotion? If not, it’s probably too early to commit yourself.

·        Do his actions match his words and vice versa? Major deviance can spell dishonesty, phoniness, lack of integrity, or all of the above. Minor differences indicate need for your greater analysis.

·        Does he have less education and earn less money than you? If yes, a super-beware is in order. It won’t bother you, but it will eat away at his dignity. Sooner or later he’ll hold it against you, especially the money bit. Moreover, it’s a set of pressures that push men toward someone else.

·        Does he seek to earn your devotion with his actions or with words? Trust his actions but verify his words.

·        Observe what he does when he thinks you’re not watching. You’ll learn much more than from his words.

·        Pay attention to what he does. Those things are important to him. If you complain, offenses against you that he doesn’t repeat can still return after conquest or marriage. So, you should find ways to assess his sincerity. (Again, just be more perceptive about everything without being suspicious of him.)

·        Watch for shady or unsteady character. His actions much more than words accurately reflect his role in your life. (Ideal roles look like this: You see much evidence of his devotion through his actions, and you devote to him in his working role, aka his missions in life. Mutual commitment and moral obligations work best as subsets that support mutual devotion.)

In the end you still have to decide. Love often overrides reason, but before it happens you should assess red flags that may forecast undesirable consequences. The final installment of this series flies tomorrow.

714. Gender Differences Revisited — Group F

Differences in the sexes continue.

1. A man wants his hut or castle outfitted for physical comfort. A woman wants her nest lined with emotional comfort.
2. The male nature competes first and cooperates when necessary. The female nature cooperates first and competes when necessary.  
3. A man thrives on a woman’s support and gratefulness for what he does, because he thinks he deserves it. A woman thrives on her man’s devoted attentions, because it confirms her value and self-love.
4. A man’s desire for his woman to maintain their home is much, much stronger than her natural objections. (But not her feminist objections or female-ego opposition.)
5. A man will call his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego resists treating him that way, because she’s naturally driven to dominate her nest and their home.
6. When a woman wants comfort and understanding, she discloses to a specific man. When a man wants comfort and understanding, he does not disclose but turns to a woman.
7. Men have distinct missions in life. Women have life as their mission. 
8. Women want comfort and companionship in needy times and the future. Men want comfort daily after a hard day’s work.
9. A woman craves to associate closely with at least one strong, highly masculine figure. A man craves freedom, often temporarily from his woman.  
10. Love and sex are fine to a husband, but they are fillers rather than glue. Because it works for them, wives mistakenly think love and sex make relationship glue.

More to come.

679. Respect Revisited — II

Once together as couple and on through marriage, his staying power depends on respect she shows him, and his love depends on respect she earns from him. One-sided and confusing, yes, but it determines outcomes.

• No serious relationship arises or succeeds, when she shows disrespect for him. He determines what’s disrespectful, and unfortunately for her feminists teach females that it doesn’t matter.
• The male bases his self-respect on strengths—character, intelligence, physical, mental, moral, conqueror, or whatever. He dispenses respect for others on strengths he admires or lacks, be his matching strengths inferior or absent.
• The male nature works this way about first sex together: If she can resist his eloquence and persistence so charmingly, think of all those other guys that tried and must have also failed.   
• Unmarried females have to earn a male’s respect. When they learn why and how as teens, they’re much better prepared for life and marriage. When they don’t rise above their adolescent hormones to learn, men more powerfully dominate and dim their future.
• Unmarried males chasing females don’t worry about respect. A man’s energetic pursuit holds up his self-respect in spite of even her disrespect. (She may be playing hard to get.) But once she accepts him as suitor, he has won the battle and is due the respect of conqueror even before they have sex but especially afterward.

The final section of this title publishes tomorrow.

655. Good News to Lift Female Blues — Part I

WWNH includes the benefits of the majority living the good Christian life. What’s in female hearts counts for most of the goodness in society.

• The Christian’s heart is softer for both women, who are naturally soft-hearted, and men who are naturally hard-hearted. Christian beliefs make both sexes more considerate of others, especially females, children, and mates.
• God loves us, when no one else does. By lifting him as the ultimate, we’re always loved regardless, and loved better than any mortal can love us. It’s our fallback position when others disappoint us.
• Love, devotion, and commitment are always unequal between giver and receiver. But Jesus Christ receives less than he gives, and we receive more than we give.
• Faith has no vacuum; it’s always full. Faith in Him replaces beliefs that are not always helpful for living with others or even oneself.
• We Christians know ourselves to be better than we deserve, which breathes gratitude into whom we are, and happiness follows gratefulness.
• Being saved by the grace of God, we’re as valuable to ourselves as we need to be. Sensing ourselves valuable in His eyes energizes our goodness, and we need little more than that to remain faithful.