920. Sex Differences Do Matter #1

• Women cohabit as a step up to permanence. Men shack up for temporary convenience, regular sex, economic gain, and protection against marital devotion.
• Women prefer the extra security provided by the legal responsibility of marriage. Men prefer that more options exist for the sake of having options. The desire for freedom never really dies.
• The opposite of feminine is not masculine. Men see masculinized females as unnatural.
• Men expect to please a woman before conquest, but they tend to coast afterward. Modern women expect the reverse; they wrongly think conquest buys more and not less.
• Unlike women, men draw a line between what is their business and what is not, between what they should change and what they should leave to others—politicians and political activists excepted of course.
• He marries and takes her for granted. If she does that to him, he is easily lured away.
• Home life includes relationship management. To men, relationships require no management. Women know better.
• Nurturers focus more on people than things, so women conclude that relationships matter the most. Producers focus on accomplishments more than people, so men conclude that winning matters most.

318. His Mindset About Sex

The female mindset: Women worry about three phases of sex: foreplay, intercourse, and intimacy afterward. Men don’t.

Background

·        Adolescent male nature:  Intercourse is just intercourse. Foreplay should be unnecessary but can be fun. Intimacy interferes with recovery. Who’s next?

·        Mature male nature: Certain emotional involvements—such as respect and affection for her—add meaning and necessity to a man’s foreplay and intimacy. Her likeability adds too, but her attractiveness does not. (Attractiveness inspires the chase, but its emotional involvement fades after foreplay.)

A man’s sense of responsibility, significance, and permanence with his partner add considerations and connectedness that she appreciates. But his devotion makes him far more receptive to fulfilling her needs, especially after romantic love fades in a year or two.

The male mindset: Men are hormonally loaded to conquer attractive women. They plan around and worry about three things different than females: pre-conquest, post-conquest, and avoiding loss of their independence to hunt and conquer.

Of course, some men plan for and seek marriage. Being devoted to marriage is not the same as devoted to her, so she still has worries about his foreplay, intimacy, and even permanence.  

For more on the male mindset, see the Content page at the top for this series. Also try Do women know jack about Jack?