The males’ default habits are not girl-, woman-, wife-, or even family-friendly. Females either program males around their defaults, or else husbands and fathers flop around eager to escape domestic responsibility and ‘confinement’.
Her nature craves togetherness; his craves independence. Men have little natural interest in yielding independence to fulfill female dreams for paired-up closeness.
Men need at least two foundations to rise above their default settings: (1) Unconditional respect for the female gender equal to or greater than respect for the male sex. (2) Appreciation and gratefulness for what a woman brings to partnership, home, and family above and beyond what he expects his woman to do for him.
Males have little or no natural interest in learning such things. They react and rely on the winning hormones of dominance. Except for mom’s nurturing before about age seven, males resent being taught directly by females. Of course, it ain’t fair. It’s Nature in all its permanence.
Before puberty, dad’s leadership and female teachers’ inputs help, but not as effectively.
Indirect methods of teaching, influencing, and persuading work beautifully, when hidden beneath the superior ‘weapons’ in the female arsenal. Weapons such as hard-headedness before marriage, soft-heartedness after marriage, charm, guile, and expectations for higher standards and living up to something greater than Self.
A man learns permanently, when he draws his own conclusions. It applies both throughout life and the four-phase process that helps females breathe longevity into husbands.
1. Dedicated parents civilize boys for family life. Primarily, and for greater effectiveness, mother nurtures in the weans, father leads by example in the tweens, and both coach in the teens. (Details in posts titled Weans, tweens, & teens)
2. Girls use crossed legs to tame hormonal urges. What boys can’t conquer— whether girl or mountaintop—signals virtue, earns respect, and energizes determination to conquer. (Details in posts titled Chaste courtship works.)
3. Marrying-age women reject men for unmarried sex until manly devotion to one woman reveals husbandly potential. (Details in posts titled Virtual Virginity and others.)
4. Finally, cooperative wives domesticate husbands for home life. They compensate for whatever shortcomings their man brings to the mix. (Details in posts titled The high cost of cheap sex and others.)
Males need mental adjustments throughout life to help fulfill female hopes, dreams, and expectations for family life. God designed and Nature makes females as the relationship experts. So, the responsibility for good husbanding and fathering falls to them, as both individuals and sisters in Womanhood.
[Part I about lifelong husbands appears as post 304.]