741. Where Has All the Glamour Gone? Part B

Women have turned to the opposite of glamour, such as comfort, masculine behaviors, and feminist thought. They lose, so why do it?

·         To make the sexes look more alike? Well, dropping glamour from everyday life makes women abandon female standards of dress and grooming, and men gain the advantage when female standards weaken.

·         To act more like men? Well, women now dress and groom carelessly and sloppily and take up masculine eating habits and weight-gain proneness. They do the same raising their daughters. Do females benefit?

·         In response to the political agenda of Feminism? Well, it worked, and men have become more self-centered against females, the feminist agenda, and feminists’ most offensive strategy, political correctness. Plus, men have been bought off by free and easy access to sex with numerous females, so men don’t complain.

·         To take women out of the role of competing with each other for men? Well, it doesn’t. Women now steal each others’ man much more than when glamorous trends inspired women to focus on their own attractiveness for holding onto her man.

·         To shed the sex object image? Well, it works the opposite of intentions. Women now routinely appear unattractive for anything but sex.

·         To make men look for internal attractiveness and discover her whole person? Well, Nature doesn’t work that way. Men look for internal qualities when they need more persuasive arguments to convince a woman into their first sex together. If she’s not attractive on the outside, it makes him look for another woman. If men are too quick to look elsewhere, women yield sex more easily. If women do that, men are released quicker to look elsewhere, which brings on more and quicker yielding.

From lack of glamour that markedly separates men and women, female relationship misery expands as men are kept focused on sex everywhere. Sex objectification doesn’t ever die, and failure to dress it up with glamour just makes women cheaper and easier for men.

739. Next to the Last Straw

Great bonding brings couples together, but it doesn’t keep them glued as one. Instead, unresolved disagreements and small irritants pile up to dissolve the glue and cover a relationship with rubbish. It smothers from the accumulation of irritants of which these offend men:

1. Embarrass him in public
2. Make him appear insignificant or treat him that way
3. Elevate kids over father or especially over him as husband
4. Show disloyal spirit toward him
5. Threaten, remind, or present him with sexual infidelity
6. Nag him beyond what he calls nagging (A nagatha per Mrs. Guy)
7. Challenge him as family CEO in front of others
8. Fail to provide what he expects as normal routine
9. Boss him around in what he considers his castle
10. Belittle him especially before the kids or friends
11. Withhold sex without health or physical reason
12. Manipulate him
13. Harp on his weaknesses
14. Reproach him before others
15. Groom carelessly such that his attention on her fades
16. Favor masculine vs. feminine appearances
17. Use feminist themes to get her way
18. Show unexpected immodesty
19. Show disrespect for him
20. Show her lack of or reduced self-respect
21. Overspend against his will
22. Reflect indifference to his sexual performance
23. Distance herself from close association with him
24. Make her interests dictate his behavior
25. Present him with her problems that defy his solutions

I’m not qualified to compile a list for women. If some deal-breaking irritants for women are sent to me, I’ll provide editorial treatment and publish them as if women need to be told.

548. Femmy Secrets Promote Harmony — # 1

This series highlights practices and habits that produce female advantage or prevent relationship reflux.

♫     She bases her love around his masculine values, rules, and expectations that help fulfill female hopes and dreams and particularly hers. (It sounds anti-female, but it fulfills a primal urge to brighten her future.)

♫     She trusts more than suspects, offers friendship warmth instead of co-dependency, and extends loving appreciation for instead of direct involvement in every little decision he makes.

♫     She cooperates with her man in his domain, so she can dominate in her own.

♫     She encourages her man to improve his sense of personal and family responsibility. She indirectly tells or suggests WHAT to do and lets him determine the HOW and the TIME. Patience energizes his conscience about pleasing her.

♫     She endorses ‘how one plays the game’ as vital for mentoring children into maturity and minimizing the seriousness of marital disputes. ‘Winning is everything’ applies only to males and outside the home.

♫     She resists the male conquering drive to earn greater respect—the precursor of a man’s love. She further delays conquest throughout courtship in order to confirm his devotion and solicit firm obligations.

478. What Moms Never Hear — H: Habits

Moms develop certain habits in kids that help shape their dreams. Childhood habits and dreams become adult reality. 

J Having to dress neat, clean, and as something deserving of compliments evokes admiration and respect from others. Most important, however, it programs a kid’s mind that whatever the occasion, it’s special and deserves careful attention. (Thus, mom has the power to make everyday special, although her neat and clean standards pay off better if lower for boys than girls, since that’s how it pays off in adulthood.)

©     Little girls kept looking neat, feminine, and cute until it becomes habit also dream about looking their prettiest as a woman. (Paraphrasing G.B. Shaw’s heroine of Pygmalion and My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle: The difference between a little girl and a lady is not the way she acts but the way she’s treated.)

N  Little girls attired and groomed as adults and especially beauty contestants, ala Jon Benet Ramsey, learn about fakery, phoniness, and how to hide them.

J Little boys made to habitually dress up only for special occasions such as church learn how to prioritize and choose appropriate attire in adulthood.

N  Little boys made to dress up too often beyond play clothes or for insignificant events forego rebellion until teen independence arrives.

N  Little girls not upheld and promoted for their princess-like uniqueness grow up with weakened feelings about their uniqueness and strength of their female identity. They too easily accept masculine values, standards, and expectations, which makes it worse.

N  Little girls treated the same as little boys, in order to be recognized, learn to act more like boys. In adulthood their relationship expertise is weaker. This leads to depression caused by poor habits that can’t sustain a relationship with a man. (Too much familiarity and not enough differences morphs into too little of his respect and not enough of her self-respect.)

v School is as special an occasion as kids have to dress for it instead of themselves, peers, or popularity. Special occasions require special attention, which produces better outcomes.

M Moms that legitimize and add credence to the popularity-seeking and peer-pleasing desires of childhood lay groundwork for future misery for family and child.

M Kids given weird or highly unusual names learn to accept ridicule, which either doubles or takes the fight out of them when ridiculed for other things. (The Boy named Sue syndrome, I guess I’d call it.)

M Kids not taught to find the people and things in life for which to be grateful lack the inclination in adult life. Since happiness flows out of gratitude, such kids find they have little to be happy about as adults.

Children are much more than their genetic inheritance, and moms lead the way in shaping it.

444. When women take up football

Vince Lombardi unintentionally weakened home life when his football leadership expanded the masculine spirit this way: “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

Unfortunately, women seek to be more like men, and so they copy Vince.

The female nature favors how one plays the game rather than winning for its own sake. Nevertheless, modern wives adopt the Lombardi spirit. They self-induce ingratitude and bitterness for their man, because they don’t get their way or win domestic squabbles. Daughters learn to copy mom, and the next generation amplifies ingratitude and bitterness.

This weakens a major cultural standard that favors women and children and compounds many social and domestic ills—even bitterness beyond divorce, which so injures offspring of all ages.

304. Lifelong husbands—made, not born — Part I

Many complications muck up lifelong marriages in modern America. Five follow.

1.     The wisdom of the ages is lost. Women can’t learn from their moms, because their moms didn’t listen to their moms. It exploded four decades ago. Girls and young women rebelled and spouted slogans with revolutionary zeal: Don’t listen to anyone over thirty, Down with authority, Distrust parents, Ignore authority figures. We’re several generations deep now with women shaping their lives around these adolescent values. What one generation allows, the next practices.

2.     Men do whatever they have to do to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Because many women provide unmarried sex, men are encouraged not to swap independence for responsibility.

3.     The feminine nature presented with pride and charm appeals and turns men ON for female influence about helping fulfill a woman’s hopes and dreams. Our forefathers followed that model. But not modern men. Feminist politics, theory, and dogma turn men OFF for yielding masculine independence.  

4.     Men seek justice. Women seek equality. As women seek greater equality with men, they give up justice. The PC crowd—political correctioneers— destroy justice. PCers and feminists disconnect females from male empathy and sympathy. They reject the separate but equal roles that family life requires for mutual respect, harmony, success, and longevity.

5.     Morality serves women more than men. Women can use it, men don’t need it. Our Judeo-Christian cultural heritage serves women even better. It goes beyond morals to guide men and women into separate but equal roles in home and society. However, ideologies such as humanism, secularism, relativism, and elitism replace morality and religion with values that expand male dominance, serve males over females, and throw away what’s best for families.*

* See the Worldviews page for more about these ‘isms’.

302. Her sexual history — Part 09

♂?♀  Her faulty reasoning: She seeks a man’s empathy or sympathy about her ex. Whatever she gains will be lost as he ponders about or imagines her sex with ex.

♂?♀  Uncovering her sexual history is masculine due diligence. Men want to know, but least is best.

♂?♀  Knowledge is vital to his future interests. What should arouse his suspicions? How can he estimate her potential and confirm her faithfulness? How should he react when encountering men who have laid with her?

♂?♀  Feminine intuition tops full-disclosure. While not easy, women have the skills and expertise to hide who, what, when, where, why, and how of what he doesn’t already know.

♂?♀  Former relationships may be known to her man, but no mention should be made or details disclosed. It’s taboo.

♂?♀  Women should plan and develop non-disclosure tactics long before a relationship begins.

284. The high cost of cheap sex — 12

♣  What one generation allows, the next practices.

♣  Living by high moral standards reinforces a female as right, proper, and courageous. Not living that way makes her easy prey for men.

♣  If she’s easy with sex, she’s of doubtful quality to the Marrying Man.

♣  Morality serves women and children much more than men. Highly moral cultural values make society female-friendly.

♣  Low morality energizes male friendliness and dominance.

♣  When morality declines, men operate with less female influence. They help downgrade social values further toward masculine interests.

♣  How females play the sex game dominates the lifestyle of males. Men keep trying to make frequent and convenient sex more easily available. The more loosely women play the game, the more men pressure for even more looseness.

♣  Men fill the power vacuum caused by women seeking masculine approval instead of holding up female-friendly values against male dominance.

♣  Females giving in to greater and greater male social pressure forces women to reshape the lifestyle of females and children.

♣  Men giving in to greater and greater female pressures forces men to reshape the lifestyle of males.

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 226, 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]