298. Female malpractice — Part 9

♣  Relationship maintenance gone awry:  Blame or expect him to resolve whatever ails their two-way relationship. This doesn’t mean that he’s not due some blame, just that treating him as such is counterproductive.

♣  Nagging doesn’t get more offensive than that which tampers with his sense of sexual significance.

♣  Marital longevity shortens under pressure of sexually accessible women outside the home. The sisterhood’s sexual freedom thus devalues marriage.

♣  Women favor to live with a man rather than spend time choosing a great mate. One made less great, because he begrudges his predecessor(s).

♣  To satisfy their self-centeredness and exercise their will over others, women use conditional love to manipulate their man and raise their children. The effect torments everyone.

♣  The more that women practice masculine-style sexual freedom, the more dedicated becomes the sex-chasing lifestyle of men. Things domestic lose their allure.

♣  Trying to change a man sours his affection for whoever tries. Her pressure offends.

♣  After split up, she’s the only one qualified to tell her how wrong she may have been. But listening to others eases her pain.

[More about female malpractice appears in posts 278, 236, 221, 206, 189, 175, 164, and 150. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following it.]

222. Female dominance: Gone! —Part 6

Females succumb to male expectations and standards, which lower their value as mates. They accept commitment instead of taking time to generate a man’s devotion.

⌂ Commitment promises togetherness with her. ♥ Devotion delivers his dedication to her.

⌂ Commitment only promises to rule out other women. ♥ Devotion delivers it, because she’s worth not losing.

⌂ Commitment signals she’s worthy enough for him. ♥ Devotion signals she’s more than worthy for him.

⌂ Commitment’s promise of togetherness may last or not, because only time and future tell. ♥ Devotion to her lasts even though living together may not happen.

⌂ Commitment dies easily under daily pressures that eat away at promises and togetherness. ♥ Devotion of self to one person triggers a man’s nature to provide and protect against life’s pressures.  

⌂ Promises require no work at the present. ♥ Devotion exhibits personal sacrifices today.

⌂ Commitment is a two-way, negotiated exchange of obligations. ♥ Devotion is one-way verbal and physical communication aimed at inspiring two-way dedication.

⌂ Commitment leaves room to blame her for togetherness problems. ♥ Devotion bonds him more tightly and inspires him to blame everything else before her.

⌂ Commitment has no obligation to excuse a mate’s mistakes. ♥ Devotion finds excuses to protect one’s mate.

⌂ Promises make only vague and risky commitment, as females see it. ♥ Women crave someone’s devotion.

Commitment is infatuation, lust, love, or maybe empty words. The only proof lies in the absence of breaking up.

Devotion is observable. He courts her delicately and doesn’t push too hard for conquest, because he’s afraid of losing her.

NOTE: She did it again. The nice lady that inspired post 219 also inspired this one.

[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]

156. Her sexual history—Part 06

♀ He measures his manly prowess by her sexual worth after his conquest. Much of her retention value hinges on it. He wonders roundabout and over time: Who else conquered this woman, if she is to be anything more than a sex target to me?

♀ Extreme privacy about her sexual past serves her best, but it’s tough to keep. Women talk to unload their guilt or blame their ex. But friends sometimes disclose what they shouldn’t. (Women feel more guilt than men when relationships fail. It helps confirm that women are better relationship experts and managers.)

♀ Her mate wants to know of her past, but she should let him wonder. Ex-husbands are known as partners, of course, but all details should be verboten.  Non-husband partners count against her, so she only makes it worse even acknowledging those relationships. Even platonic male friends and acquaintances can be suspect. (On this subject, his imagination can run wild at the slightest hint of suspicion.)

♀ After split up and explaining to relieve guilt, she seeks both sympathy and empathy for her mistakes and her ex’s inadequacies. Encouragement by others to make her feel better confirms her rightness. Friends easily assign blame to her ex. Future lovers might too if she tells a compelling story, but it’s hazardous to their relationship health.

 

142. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 7

♂ First-time sex with each woman is a conquering event, after which he rates her as keeper, standby, or dumpee.

♂ For the hunter-conqueror, the greater his target’s perceived virtue, the greater her value and his inspiration to keep trying. 

♂ Hard-to-get means other guys failed before him. So, it enlarges the self-stroking of a man’s ego.

♂ He offers his strengths for her to appreciate. If she shows no weaknesses, his strengths fade in importance, and so does she.

♂ His respect for his woman softens a man’s heart, and her gratitude for him softens his hard-headedness.

♂ His trustworthiness as mate is wrapped within her gratefulness for him as husband and father, provider and protector, and those other things he deems critical to his current and significant mission in life.

♂ His woman’s grooming and appearance in public add to or detract from him. Other men look at her, but they also take the measure of him—or so he either thinks or desires.

♂ Husband wants wife to look queenly yet unavailable, beautiful but unattainable. Something special enough to gain masculine admiration of him yet make men realize they can never have her. That’s a major, major input to his sense of significance.

♂ If a man has flaws before they marry, each shortcoming will magnify afterward.

♂ Husband wants wife to remain the woman she was before their marriage. But she insists on changing herself, because her life is now different. Or, she was a phony before marry up, and her true side emerges. Either way, it’s not good for longevity together.

[More jack about Jack can be found at posts 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Search on the number or scroll down.]

132. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 5

♂ Men delight in easy conquest. It adds temporary value to her, but devalues her as keeper.

♂ Few things expose a man’s character more readily than being repeatedly denied sex by a woman on whom he has set his sights for conquest.

♂ Boys raised with little affection before puberty neither provide nor respond well to affection later in life. [More about displays of affection at post 3.]

♂ Conquerors can be grateful and possess good intentions, but their drive to conquer another woman never completely dies. It’s the male nature, and only devotion earned by one woman holds it in check.

♂ A woman’s refusal for unmarried sex builds virtue that earns a man’s respect and signifies that she will probably be faithful to him.

♂ Courtship without sexual relations teaches boys and men to suppress their aggression and honor a female’s standards and expectations. The process also exposes males to the female’s non-sexual qualities.

♂ Easily available, unobligated, and unmarried sex aids the conquerors’ pursuit. On the other hand, men must work harder to impress and ‘sell’ themselves as guardians of female interests when women abstain outside marriage.

♂ Enduring love for men is based on respect earned earlier about her virtue, self-respect, likeability as mate, but overwhelmingly about her gratitude for who he is and what he does.

♂ Fathers may acquiesce, but they don’t take kindly to mothers accepting and supporting the inevitability of a daughter’s unmarried sexual activity.  

♂ Failure of a man to honor a woman’s standards and expectations means more of the same will follow after conquest regardless of what he says before that monumental event.

[More jack about Jack appear at posts 114, 97, 91, and 7.]

97. Do women know jack about Jack?—Part 3

♂ Men adapt, obligate, and learn to devote themselves to a woman that refuses to yield sexually. Her hard-headed and unyielding behavior keeps his attention focused on her. If he refuses to grow that way to meet her expectations for her man, then he’s not really into her as potential mate.

♂  Just as sex does, fashionable attire, charming words, and fun activity help capture a man. But her other-than-sexual attributes hold him beyond the fading of romantic love.

♂ A major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon his woman’s faithfulness—and especially his not having to face men who have had her or even know of someone who has.

♂ A man discovers a woman’s non-sexual attributes while searching for weaknesses in order to conquer her. After conquest his search intensity fades away, and her remaining qualities become less dramatically uncovered.

♂ A man does not need refreshment and comfort with a friendly, attractive, and encouraging mate, but he never stops looking if he lacks it.

♂ A man’s conquering nature is not quieted down by either her giving love or providing sex—only by one woman’s non-sexual attributes that magnetize his devotion to her and their family.

♂ A man’s devotion to wife and marriage are not the same. The former is based on his heart, his feelings for her. The latter is based on his mind, values, principles, vows, and his word—to the extent that he honors such things.

♂ A man’s ego reflects his sense of significance and vice versa.

♂ A man’s fruitless pursuit of sex with a woman enables his commitment to evolve into devotion for her. In the process of trying harder, he learns to respect her more and see her as different from the others.

♂ A man’s loyalty to wife and family is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in the home.

[More jack about Jack appears at posts 91 and 7.]

76. Her mushy thinking—Part 3

She provides easy sex before marriage. She gives away what she doesn’t have to. After marriage she withholds sex. For example, retaliating for her hurts, she displeases him deliberately. Whatever the reason, withholding herself weakens his sense of significance with her.

She elevates children to adult status, which demotes husband to subordinate status and moves him toward insignificance—his greatest fear.

She assertively rejects this advice gem of politics and negotiation: ‘Don’t complain, don’t explain’. Instead, she unloads with everything bothering her as it bothers her. Little discretion comes across as nagging.

She gives birth at all ages without father’s presence or commitment to help. She sacrifices her child’s father-balanced future on the altar of her female ego.

She tries to take more than she gives when negotiating some issue of greater importance to husband than to her. He may deserve such treatment, and she may win the battle. But their future together dims.

She makes maintaining her imperial nest more important than retaining her man.

She reverses this model and wonders why she loses: In dating and courtship women are buyers and men sellers. Men prove their worth in order to earn her. In marriage, women are sellers and men buyers. She proves her worth in order to keep him.

She admires celebrities or others more than her husband. Admittedly, for other reasons than how she judges him, but he still comes up short. It contaminates her wifely mind for permanency.

She vocalizes jealousy of her man’s job, hobby, or recreation. She thus primes his abandonment pump. He may be totally in the wrong. But her drumbeat hardens more than weakens his determination. As the relationship expert, she has other options, but her mushy thinking thwarts her.

She expects that he will respond to stimulants just as she does. For example, guilt motivates her to do something to relieve it. Men largely ignore guilt trips placed on them and easily handle guilt they lay on themselves.

She would rather be friends with her kids than essential to her man.

She favors her kids over his. If she can’t treat all kids alike, her blending of families will not be very successful. If she can’t trust her kids to the care and admonition of her husband, she married the wrong man.  

72. Submissiveness—Section 2

A sexy man. Men perceive themselves with one primary persona in life—being a man. His sexiness helps, and if it’s not evident, he’ll prove it in bed.

Men don’t voluntarily abandon the hormonal urge of being a man. But they enlarge their persona when coached to do so by one woman. Since improvement requires a man to change, respect is her key to the operating room, submissiveness her surgical instrument.

A man expects to succeed as himself in all his relationship roles. He focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects of him.

Whatever roles he fits himself into, he knows what he has to do in each. He claims certain domains and proceeds to fulfill his responsibility, overcome obstacles, and produce desirable goals to his satisfaction.

For example, his family needs more money, so he gets a second job. Wife expects more affection, so he washes her car. She expects help with spring cleaning, so he uses the leaf blower while she’s away. In all cases, he needs control over the appropriate domains of family life for him to be successful to himself.

If he’s not successful to himself, he’s not likely to be adequate for his woman. She may try to talk him into success, but his self-fulfilling prophecy can too easily prove otherwise. Eventually, they’ll fold as a couple.

It’s far more important that she help him succeed to himself than to her or the family—if he’s worth keeping. It’s the taproot of family integrity. People keep doing what they are successful at to themselves, as they see it, or as they want others to perceive it.

Post 73 is a sequel about the female side.