Focused on what women never hear, this series expanded. Today the teens, tomorrow the parents. I hope to show that greater dependence on the nature of males and females provides a far better foundation to prepare parents for exposure to teen life. Today we look at teens’ and their reactions to some internal and external pressures.
- Before puberty both girls and boys confirm, enhance, and enlarge their self-image through accomplishments. After puberty, boys continue the same; they seek to win admiration for accomplishments. However, girls shift their ambitions somewhat. They seek to confirm their importance through accomplishments that solidify the wanted and nullify unwanted relationships.
- Hormones propel puberty. The presence or absence of values in the teen psyche governs the personal growth that follows. Parental nurturing insults a teen. Tight leadership earns teen disdain. Personal independence in decision-making crowns the teen persona. Parents are left with one effective influence method, coaching.
- When puberty hits boys and girls who don’t believe in themselves, they desert parents when in need of approval and guidance. They look for someone else’s belief in them, because what went before can no longer fill their ambitions and need for their larger role in life. A stronger sense of independence compels them to suspect parental wisdom and applicability to their forthcoming ‘new life’. They default to teen associates for approval and guidance.
- Belief in oneself comes from one source: several or many years of successful accomplishments. That is, feats attempted and completed; fears faced and conquered; obstacles detected and overcome; judgments proven correct; mistakes dodged or forgiven through recovery; promises kept; beliefs confirmed; responsibilities accepted; and even a bittersweet conscience scalded by few or many lies, failures, and broken promises.
- Lack of belief in oneself comes from inadequate upbringing before puberty. Parents fail to make it habitual for children to take advantage of opportunities that can deliver a sense of accomplishment. Achievement denied because of tasks never given, responsibilities not clarified, parental expectations not verbalized, routine duties never assigned, or childish excuses accepted in lieu of doing what one should do.
- The more mature the mind of a boy, the better he feels about himself doing adult-like things that teach how better to produce, provide, protect, and problem solve. Also, by virtue of less interest until he feels better qualified to do well at it, the pursuit of sex has a low or even insignificant priority. His sexual identity isn’t confused; his adult persona isn’t developed as he wishes it.
- Boys tease girls primarily to elicit smiles, which boys take as signs of approval. Modern girls dislike being teased; they scowl because feminists taught females to disrespect males. As a result, modern boys tease disrespectfully and girls dislike it even more. The cultural tradition of pleasant, innocent, and frequent intersex recognition and approval thus fades away.
- Their nature doesn’t encourage girls to have sex. It stirs them to exploit their ultimate asset, as males view females, to get what they want.
- Boys seek admiration. Less time at home applies pressure for them to win it among others. However, if the lure of winning admiration at home exists, ambitions weaken to seek it elsewhere.
- Boys want to learn about girls but they don’t know how. Modern girls substitute sex. They don’t recognize that boys aren’t being taught lessons vital to the future well-being of females. In only one way do boys learn the truth about fulfilling the hopes and dreams of females: denial of sex by many girls. Yielding teaches boys the wrong things. Only by girls refusing to yield do masculine dreams, hopes, and curiosity stir the male imagination to honor female uniqueness and respect the promises of marriage.
- The teen pecking order builds primarily on age. Teen life changes so rapidly that one year doesn’t seem that important compared to other years. However, a year’s difference between teens of the same sex is very significant. It generates a respect gap and the younger ends up with less than his due. Among teen unmarried couples, girls can’t respect a younger boy with enough energy to stifle older boys from stealing the girl away. Such relationships don’t last. Greater age gaps generate even greater respect gaps.
- Girls find out about boys by refusing to have sex with them. Each must do it alone to get a dependable and predictable picture of what men will be like in her life.
WADWMUFGAO, that is, we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. Teens eagerly imagine teen life as their exclusive domain and a top priority. Learning about the opposite sex tops the ways in which they exchange knowledge and interest to feel good about themselves. Results aren’t always as imagined, but teens aren’t deterred. They keep trying. They shun the wisdom of the ages; teen life is their exclusive domain to live and shape it as they sense they should. But still, parents play a major role. Their dilemmas come up tomorrow at post 1572.