Tag Archives: modesty

2100. 7th Anniversary, Tempus Fugit


Seven years ago tomorrow I posted my first article as declaration of war against Feminism. I titled it “Feminism Indicted.” I copy it here as still appropriate and the birthmark.

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  • Feminism Indicted: Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics in relationships. Its inherent virtue merely equalizes unhappiness for women seeking or living with a man.
  • Femininity Acquitted: Femininity is the philosophy of attractiveness for men, the creed of faithfulness with men, and the gospel of devotion to one man. Its inherent virtue civilizes men, balances male dominance, suppresses male aggressiveness, inspires men to prove their worthiness, and rewards men for acting responsibly as both husband and father.
  • Feminism discourages male adoration of women. Femininity inspires it. Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity praises manliness to get what women want.
  • Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it.
  • Anger energizes the politics of Feminism. Indirectness and modesty empower the cultural and domestic leadership of Femininity.

——

I started the blog with commitment to explain what women never hear and expected to post a few dozen articles. Now at 2100 I have become relatively devoted and intend to continue the mindset.

Those of you who comment make my duty more pleasant and enjoyable. Thank you.

 

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2097. Compatibility Axioms #521-530


  1. Sexually active women highly value hunks for looks, which causes them to capture men poor for keeping. Experience with many sex partners—easy for hunks—weakens a man’s spirit for devoting himself to one woman. Each score leaches out of him a little respect for female self-protectiveness and regard for a woman’s interest. [191]
  2. It’s social custom especially regarding sex. Each new generation of females works harder to duplicate males. Females initiate everything more and more, but males retain the leadership role. They help females lower female-friendly values, standards, and expectations and to demean themselves just to please males. (And a new generation emerges with different values about every six or seven years.) [191]
  3. Women act and try to date like guys. They accept ‘whatever’ to keep a relationship going. They try to participate and enjoy masculine fun and games. They let desire to not offend a man override their nature—for example, tolerate embarrassment that offends a woman’s natural modesty. Her value as any man’s keeper weakens from not standing up for herself better if at all. [191]
  4. Girls and women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. Females devalue virginity. Girls ditch it, and mothers don’t try hard to prevent its loss to make their girls more popular. Women think of themselves as sexually adventurous. They dismiss chastity that makes males try harder, that earns masculine respect, that primes men to devote to one woman. [191]
  5. To demonstrate their independence from men, women reject feminine virtue, duplicate masculine behavior, and even demo baser behaviors in public. By acting more like men, women hope to be more appealing. In fact, successful relationships revolve around differences between the sexes that couples reduce to compatibility. [191]
  6. If women refuse to honor the male gender as more worthy than the female gender, they kill what it takes for men to respect women as more worthy than men. It’s far more attitude than fact, appreciation than trust, approximation than precision. Caution: The reverse never happens, because men don’t respect women that portray no gender uniqueness. [196]
  7. Feminists believe that male and female infidelity are the same and equal. Not so. He cheats, and she breaks down emotionally and seeks outside help. She cheats, and his sense of significance plummets. This makes her obsolete. He maneuvers to be rid of her—sometimes harshly or violently. Of course it’s not fair, but men aren’t females regardless of how feminists hope to change them. [196]
  8. Men bond with a woman and strengthen family responsibility by making themselves useful and proving their worth as rescuers, protectors, providers, problem solvers. But his woman’s insistence on her independence turns him toward escapism in big toys, expensive adventures, irresponsibility, females. To the degree he’s not needed, he’s free and looks to have pleasure. [196]
  9. Mothers imply it. We all tend to become like those with whom we associate. Feminists for three decades claimed men to be selfish lovers, inadequate mates, and poor responders to female needs. Now, women accuse men of being irresponsible lovers, mates, fathers, and family men. They also claim that men are ignorant of female needs, wants, hopes, dreams, and relationship-building. ♫ Ta da ♫ Men no longer make good husbands. Just as feminists claimed. [196]
  10. Feminism makes the worth of men decline in female eyes. Consequently, the reverse happens too. Women receive less respectful, harsher, and even abusive treatment and then try to compensate with cheap and easy sex to satisfy men into being more reliable at helping fulfill women’s needs. It doesn’t work very long for a woman. Or does it? [196]

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2084. Female Blessings at Birth — 79-81 Plus Intro of New Project


Yesterday, ladies, I was blessed with new insight surrounding the blessings you are born with. Men admire that which a woman possesses that draws and holds his interest, something he respects, her likeability. Each quality a man admires becomes a virtue to him. Her virtues accumulate until he sees her as fascinating, as a virtuous woman. Each husband has married a woman that in courtship he judged as virtuous to his satisfaction, which is what men work toward in all that they do: satisfaction. In that husband’s case, satisfaction that he judged her desirable to be his mate. Judged not on what she promised or told him, but what he saw and didn’t hear that could have discouraged him.

To me as a man, when I review the blessings in this list, I see nothing but virtues that women are born with. Each blessing has enough man-appreciated quality to be admired by some man, some place, some time.

When a woman exemplifies her blessings, men admire her as unique and fascinating. Examples: submissive spirit, vanity, modesty, neatness, gratefulness, prettiness, self-sufficiency, spreader of joy, easy to smile, protector of sexual assets, et al. To the extent she makes those qualities appealing/attractive to a man, she becomes virtuous. The more virtuous the more fascinating. The more fascinating, the more promise she holds as potential mate. The more potential, the more easily he proceeds to the altar. It’s a system that works best under this simple layout of nature: Men are men and women are women.

That introduces my next major project, which is to match up each blessing with the likely reaction/response of men. However, I need weeks to develop it. Relocating to another state later this month, it could be Christmas before I can post it. Perhaps I can plant seeds along the way to get your help in proofing it.

The first seeds appear below. At the end of each item, I cite her blessing and the responding admiration that normally would flow from men. It’s another attempt at tying her actions to what men see in her. Your comments are needed to help clarify it.

79. I’m grateful each morning when I face myself in the mirror. Terrible when I arrive, successful when I depart. [Guy adds: The benefits are more than worth the inconvenience of time spent bringing out the prettiness of your face. As your face goes, so goes your day. As your day goes, so goes your life. Her blessing: She has prettiness to work with. His admiration: She’s great to look at.]

80. I am blessed that I can see the good in people and turn it into uplifting words. Especially those who are close to me. [Extending special credit to Surfercajun for identifying that female blessing, Guy adds: Women are born to be good, and become good by doing good. Her blessing: She sees the good in life and pursues it to be good. His admiration: While so easily earning the respect and trust of others, she also picks me up when I’m down, makes me feel good about myself.]

81. I am blessed with a feminine nature strong enough to handle any improper reaction I may provoke in others. [Extending special credit to Pretty Woman for suggesting this inborn blessing, Guy adds: You can’t be responsible for others’ reactions. Her blessing: She has calm inner strength to deal with upset people. His admiration: Glad she’s on my side.]

As before, mark each item T or F with whatever comment you wish to add. I am especially grateful for all reactions to my new project and how I’m trying to find a way to depict it in some clear form. Presently, I can’t get past the idea of a table or matrix reflecting blessing vs. admiration.

Women aren’t here to serve or please men. The superior sex is here to serve and please women in such ways that men find them fascinating, irresistible, and promising as monogamous mates. Women play their cards right when they live within the blessings they inherit at birth.

 

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2075. Liked or Respected, Which is Best?


Dealing with men or their man, there are two kinds of women. Some seek to be liked and others to be respected. The former learn to live with continuous dislike of themselves; they look back continuously. The latter work to earn respect and behave as if they are respected; they don’t have to look back.

The difference determines how men perceive them by subliminally reading their attitudes. Men believe in and rely on their perceptions, especially what they see. A person’s attitude is the most obvious expression of what resides in their hearts and it’s virtually visible to the subconscious mind of men—though not as good as women read it.

Wanting to be liked works directly against a woman’s best interest. She misses out on being respected, which is the foundation of man’s love. Her attitude reveals a sense of inadequacy, which reveals lack of self-respect, which makes her unable to respect men as they expect it, and which discourages a man’s respect of her. Her begging for attention makes her annoying. Her sense of near or complete desperation scares men away; she’s unpredictable to male eyes.

Seeking to be liked also prompts women to explain themselves, which arises from their sense of inadequacy. They also complain too easily, which is prompted by feeling treated less than they deserve, which is prompted by the need for confirmation of their self-importance. When they don’t get the reactions they expect, both their self-image and self-worth plummet, which prompts more complaining and explaining.

The other kind of woman works independently to her own advantage. She seeks to be respected as a person, woman, mother, and her other roles and in that order. As a person she doesn’t look down on others. As a woman she holds her head high and stands up for herself to men. As a mother she insists that father defer to her as prime leader of her children. As a housewife she determines how and by whom housework will be done. As an employee she determines the value of her work effort relative to her responsibilities at home. And on and on through her other roles.

She latches onto and replenishes her spirit with inborn strengths, such as female modesty, feminine vanity, mirror-enhanced prettiness, monogamous spirit, relative meekness, submissive spirit, and extra respect for those that earn it. All used to get her way in matters dealing with her moral, ethical, and religious standards and expectations for the others around her. She will not win all the battles, but it’s the standing up for herself that wins the wars with each guy including husband.

The respectable woman is a proactive member of the superior sex and can capitalize on it as long as she doesn’t claim that as her inheritance. IOW, as long as men don’t hear it from her mouth.

The self-fulfilling prophecy works in both cases. The harder one woman tries to be liked, the more her self-like declines. She gets feedback opposite to that she longs for. The more the other woman works to sustain or improve her respectability, the more affirming feedback she gets from all men and especially her own.

 

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2067. Vanity, Thy Purpose is Great — Q&A


With feminine skill at 2066, Her Highness Cinnamon took blogmaster to task. I regret the confusion; lack of clarity on my end. Her questions are quoted and my answers follow. Thanks, Cinnamon, for the ease of clarifying the matter. It’s a tribute to the quality of your questioning.

1. “Are you saying that she tries to be likeable by suppressing natural modesty and vanity and that this is dishonest?”

Not suppresses, just eases off disclosing it. Not dishonest, just mistaken. She focuses so intensely on being liked by both girlfriends and men, that she drops her guard. She’s willing to forgo her heart-felt interests in an effort to not offend or to stand up for herself. So, she adapts to accepting offenses to her sensibilities. (Which she doesn’t have unless she claims them as standard for her.)

And she adopts more comfortable and even sloppy appearance to save time and match others, and it prevents using her prettiness to her advantage. Men have no God-given prettiness to enhance, and so she acts more as men act, which costs her in distinctiveness and uniqueness. All done to fit in better on the likeability circuit her girlfriends follow and men find satisfying, because it makes sex more frequent and convenient.

2. “I thought men did better when women were more mysterious – when they DON’T know who they are dealing with – because it inspires them to find out for themselves.”

That’s true, but the process of learning to deal with her—for her own best interest—starts with her uncovering her standards. What she must have to keep her identity, her uniqueness from other gals, her indebtedness to herself, her separateness from his dominant persona.

3. “Or are you just saying that modesty and vanity are the only two things that she SHOULD be more direct about (while remaining indirect about everything else).”

Pretty much, yes. Modesty and vanity are self-protective and usable as standards unique to the female nature. Men see both as natural and therefore respect a woman’s claims. So, her claims are instinctive, less debatable, more persuasive, and thus more influential inside man-think.

OTOH, in the singles world where two conquerors compete, men feel less respect and restraint for challenging lessons learned in life. Such as religious imperatives, childhood teachings, and moral values. A woman doubtless has other standards and expectations, but they don’t have the authority and predominance that modesty and vanity provide instinctively and that carry over to help stabilize her marriage.

A new thought about how doors open in man-think. By respecting and honoring those two standards, he admires her feminine determination, which makes him see virtue, which energizes him to find ways to live within her standards, which adds to her fascination, which makes him more eager to please her, which tends to build devotion, which adds to the promise he sees in her for his future, which is the gate to the altar. It all started when she let him know that she had standards that he must honor.

It boils down to this. Modesty is a woman’s defensive armor to protect her female sensibilities. Vanity is her offensive technique to exploit her prettiness. Both are inborn and instinctive. Mature men respect both, which jumpstarts a man’s respect out of which his love can grow.

 

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2066. Vanity, Thy Purpose is Great


We’re all naturally self-centered. Beyond a certain point that varies by individual, self-centeredness is unattractive to the opposite sex. Female modesty and vanity in women are justifiable exceptions. Modesty is a woman’s defensive armor to protect her female sensibilities. Vanity is her offensive technique to exploit her prettiness. Men would do the same if necessary. Consequently, they accept such female uniqueness even though it expands female self-centeredness beyond what normally appeals to men. IOW, men have to indulge her modesty and vanity if they hope to get along. By doing so, they invest themselves in her.

Modesty and vanity are inherited at birth. If a man can’t or doesn’t respect and accept those female traits due to his impatience or other traits, he’s too self-centered for her. She needs to discover it early in dating and below I suggest a way.

Modern women use a very poor strategy for capturing a man. They try to make themselves likeable. They do what they think men like, which of course focuses women on sex too. In response to masculine pressures, they also find it necessary to hide their modest nature and abandon their justifiable vanity. Consequently, they gain insufficient respect from men.

When a man likes a woman before he learns to respect her, his mind focuses on bedding her. When a man learns to respect a woman before he learns to like her, he focuses on learning more about her and is willing to put sex in the background. The former guy enables himself to avoid obligation; the male nature just works that way. The latter guy, however, is open to becoming obligated simply because he is willing to earn his way into her heart. The male nature works that way too. She’s captured his attention for learning more about her and drawn his interest to relationship obligations, which is the first step to capturing him for her.

Women seeking to be liked spotlight what they think men want to hear. That thinking keeps a man from finding out who she truly is. Marginalizing and de-personalizing her interest denies him ‘truth in advertising’ and he makes mistakes dealing with her. Not his fault, hers.

Men deal best with women when they know who they are dealing with. Men are direct and expect women to be. Women, being indirect by nature, overdo caution in order to be liked, and men don’t really know who or what they are dealing with. She’s a person but not a known woman, so he has to operate in somewhat of a vacuum. So, heck, take the easy road; push her for sex.

Here’s the crux of it. When a man can’t figure out who a woman is, the vacuum kills likeability. So, women trying to be liked torpedo their own ship.

Now, the suggestion mentioned above. Do the following early in dating and not later than the third date. Without complaining and without explaining further, let every man know two things. Done delicately helps but in no way apologize.

  1. You have female sensibilities and are easily offended. He’ll ask what, and you just respond with something like, “I’m modest and you’ll just have to figure it out.” It will put him on his toes to be more observant of his words and actions. And each little consideration he makes is an investment of himself.
  2. You require extra time to please yourself with your appearance. Tell him, “I always need extra time. You may be inconvenienced, so plan the best you can.”

Note that both bullets describe who you are. Men can deal with that. Without your letting a man know, he will assume you play like other women. Most of them have thrown away both modesty and vanity in order to be liked and popular. So, what’s the foundation for a man’s respect?

A woman does best when men know who she is and seek to step up to her standards. IOW, he earns his way into her heart by investing himself in not offending her. That works where this doesn’t; she goes along to get along, to be liked by him and popular among his buds.

Women are in charge of their destiny, but they have to train men to come along with them. Modesty and vanity earn manly respect. Out of that likeability can grow.

 

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2032. Female Blessings at Birth — 43-45


A NOTE FIRST. Ladies, your interest in these female blessings that arrive with birth seem to be waning. Am I boring you, or is interest in the subject already worn out? Shall I drop the subject?

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I continue asking for your agreement/disagreement on the long list I’ve compiled. This is the 15th group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.

With each item, do you agree that you and other females inherit it at birth? Or, is it something you and others learn later in life? False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, or it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.

In case you’re new to this blog or wonder why I compiled the long list of blessings. I hope to close the gaps and shortcomings in the following causes and effects so that modern women can have better lives.

  • A woman’s happiness depends primarily on the gratefulness that accumulates in and shines outward from her heart.
  • Women can only be as grateful for others and things as they are individually grateful for who and what they are as a person, woman, wife, mother, girlfriend, granny, church-goer, encourager, Christian, Jew, American, Korean, employee, and on and on and on…. The key term being grateful for self, self-gratitude.
  • Women will or should be more grateful for themselves as individuals if they are aware of just how magnificently they have been designed, endowed, and energized to be the key players in life and compatible with themselves, others, and especially a lifetime mate.

Where I explain or add following each blessing, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me. I’m not trying to be right, just searching for and clearly describing truth—as close as we can get it. I search for the naturally endowed blessings that empower and encourage women to use their irresistible force to override the immovable object of male dominance.

These are the blessings for today.

43. I appreciate myself more when I depend on my modest nature to guide me. [Guy adds: Modesty is as natural to women as aggressiveness is to men. I urge every woman to study and teach daughters out of Wendy Shalit’s marvelous book, A Return to Modesty — Discovering the Lost Virtue. First, modesty is admirable to men simply because such apparently fun-depriving uniqueness is so foreign to their nature. Second, modesty is a woman’s most powerful weapon for getting a man settled into his expected role of honoring female sensibilities, both hers and that of other women. The more she respects her modest nature with affirming actions, the more easily she earns the respect of men, which is the foundation of a man’s love. (Ladies, I regret repeating myself so much, but many readers will be reading this as their first or near-first exposure to such concepts as men love according to their respect for a woman.)]

44. I can touch up my appearance in numerous ways and places and endlessly encourage myself with how pretty I truly am. [Guy adds: A female’s best friend is her mirror image. To the extent that she exploits that friendship, she strengthens her self-image, self-worth, and self-interest. Without a mirror nearby, she’s virtually lost in thought about her appearance. Anxiety about it can make her lose focus on other things, or she can use the mirror to change the subject. With a mirror she can restore confidence, eliminate anxiety, and restore herself to whatever track she was on in any situation. That’s why she’s designed, endowed, and hormonally energized to believe that she’s pretty—it’s her salvation for any tough situation when she learns to use it in company with her compact-available best friend.]

45. I feel better about myself when I dress and act more feminine and less like men. [Guy adds: Women lack the masculine self-confidence that whatever they choose to do is okay within themselves. The spirit of Feminism suggests to women that they will feel more self-confident and like themselves better by duplicating masculine habits in dress and behavior. But it doesn’t work as advertised. Instead, they have to try other more masculine habits, but that doesn’t work either. Consequently, modern women continually feel less than good about themselves. They try harder and harder but the pop culture pushes them in the wrong direction, that of adopting male initiatives, welcoming male dominance, and tolerating excess male aggressiveness. Thus, women wean themselves away from their natural ways of always feeling good or better about themselves, which means they don’t find gratefulness in themselves, which means they can’t find all that much gratefulness in their lives, which means that they move further and further away from ever finding happiness that emerges from a strong spirit of gratefulness particularly for being female.

Example for your response: “45-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for your opinion. More blessings to follow in a day or two.

 

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