1111. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 32

• Expecting Mr. Good Enough to make himself worthy of her creates relationship glue. The drawn out habit forming process has no precise definition or goal. Marriage may or may not confirm his worth to her; only time will tell. Unless she changes after marriage, the glue should help her harmonize their togetherness.
• Men can’t duplicate God’s unconditional love, but they can show the earthly equivalent. That is, unconditional respect for individuals, especially those that reveal they don’t deserve it. Men follow for better or worse the moral and religious standards exemplified by women.
• Reflecting dependence on hubby makes wife more valuable to him. Reflecting need for him makes her less valuable to him. (He’s capable of the former but not the latter.)
• These multiplex ingredients blend into maximum marital glue. Her likeability reinforces his significance. His significance reinforces her need for a brighter future. Without those connections intensely exchanged, other single ingredients can easily fail, e.g., love, respect, affection, vows, dependence.
• Good reason exists to steer clear of men that act dictatorial; who expect total submission. Such men hate themselves and can’t truly love anyone. They insist on total submission and seek a submissive woman. If she fights back and loses, he appreciates her more. Submission both shows and reinforces his sense of significance, which is constantly confused and embroiled with self-hatred.
• They separate, await divorce, or seek settlement. She thinks yielding sex will make ex more agreeable to her or their kids. Wrong! His respect for her will weaken further, although his suggestions or pleas may sound otherwise. The weaker his respect, the weaker his interest in negotiating fairly much less equitably.