No one searching for faults or trying fruitlessly to change another can be grateful for that person. Gratitude grows from appreciation, not faultfinding. Happiness grows from gratefulness, not wishful thinking. Lifetime marriages sour on the tentacles of ungratefulness, criticism, and disrespectful opinions of one’s spouse.
- When wife treats husband as immature or parents him as a child, it shifts his mental state back toward adolescence and WADWMUFGAO.* His ego seeks solace and takes the teen way out, so he cheats emotionally or physically.
- Wife makes maintaining her imperial nest more important than retaining her man. He quietly balks and finds interests other than with her.
- A wife finds faults, criticizes, and constantly tries to improve husband. His commitment weakens as he feels her pressure trying to change him. It grates on his masculine fiber, insults his manly nature, and primes him for departure.
- A wife can lose her man easily. If she makes him choose between his job and her, she should be prepared to lose something significant – quite possibly him. It is not that he loves her less than his job, but his self-worth arises from his job more than from his woman’s affection.
- Immature men dominate the home without showing much kindness, gratitude, or generosity. Such men reveal their nature early in relationships. Women can spot it in courtship. Generally, the immature man’s thinking, habits, and expectations revolve around younger values, standards, and ideals important mostly to teenagers but retained into adulthood.
The presence of nagging, whining, and overspending eventually outweighs the presence of good sex, good food, and good company. Over a lifetime the negatives never stop their emotional disturbances. But, the positives become common and routine. Both marriages and cohabiting fade when the fast growing kudzu vine of negatives smothers all the homey sunlight of liking one another.
* We All Do What Makes Us Feel Good About Ourselves.