Tag Archives: Nature

929. THE MALE MATRIX: alpha, beta, gamma—Part VII









Sense of independence: Strongly independent; not to get away so much as to attract, hold on, and keep at responsibilities and devotions such as business, job, family, hobby. Less independent than alpha, but he keeps reaching for more out of ego satisfaction rather than devotion to responsibilities. Highly dependent on someone else.
Sense of justice: Fairness rules from a moral base; he seeks quick justice so as to forgive & forget easily and move onward and upward. Ambivalent about moral base for justice; tends to favor fashion and popularity. Sees equality as better than fairness, because it’s the female preference.
Sense of responsibility: Strong on all matters of supreme interest to him. Careful about accepting it; weak on biggest & very important issues. Fearful; can be strong on small matters, but inclined toward CYA.
Sensitive to female needs and body language? Nope, not usually. Nope, not usually except older betas and those leaning toward gamma. Yes, he earns female respect by doing so.
Thrives on: Confusion, chaos, & conflict. Seeking agreement & cooperation. Peace, quiet, stability.
True allegiance to his role: Neither jealous nor envious; compassionate without patriarchal malice; lives by strong moral compass. Insensitive about others until taught otherwise by females and life. Overly considerate of others to the point of sycophancy.
Vulnerable to females? Yes to the very highly respected and the helpless by his measure. Highly selective; yes to beauties, no to less endowed. To a fault.

Women may be attracted to a particular male persona, but they don’t choose to marry on that basis without making a mistake. Alpha, beta, and gamma are mere labels that classify men according to strengths and weaknesses. Women know to look deeper, and this series hopefully provided info for doing it.

Tomorrow’s post #930 ends this series. The alpha, beta, gamma description of females follows as post 931; keep this in mind: Only two are suitable for marriage.


Filed under The mind, Uncategorized

653. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 6

  • Intimacy is vitally important to her and less so to men. But which is more important: depth or breadth, quality or quantity, intensity or frequency? Lengthy courtship enables her to find out about herself and ‘train’ him to match her expectations. 
  • Home should be his castle, but not unless she generates the harmony. For example, except when in use, she requires the commode LID to be down. Last user is responsible. (Can’t tell you why it works this way, but he’ll more easily accept her homey home-keeping standard for closed commode than her expectation that he always lower the seat. He’ll do for his castle, what he won’t do for her. You say shameful or selfish, I say Nature.)
  • Sex bonds women, but mutual respect bonds people and genders.
  • Self-esteem means how well you like yourself as a person. Self-love describes it better for females provided it also includes especially liking their selves as female.
  • Women have to put up with many unwelcome hits to draw a few routine compliments from men. Improving their appearance with feminine mystery and modesty improves the ratio in favor of compliments.

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Filed under Uncategorized

628. Sweeter is Better—for Her!

I dedicate this article to Her Highness Linda L. She asked for specific examples “…that would register a woman as ‘sweet’…” at post 624.

Gazillions of “manners, actions or comments” frost the cake of feminine sweetness. Men don’t know how to be sweet in the way that women do. Nor do they know how to tell a woman to be sweeter. So, I can’t define it, but men know it when they see it.

Actually, women are sweet, but men are thoughtful. The female recipient of a man’s thoughtfulness calls him sweet, because she judges by her standards and uses female terms. So, women expect men to be sweet or sweeter, but it won’t work that way.

Watch this, ladies: Sweetness flows naturally out of an attitude of gratitude for herself, not him or men. Men don’t have that capability for self-love.

Her sweetness shown to a man may seem like an unearned gift, which men don’t appreciate. But it’s not that. He sees her radiating self-love as part of her nature. He just happens to be on the receiving end, and appreciates her for making his life more enjoyable. He seems to be appreciated for who he is, because one woman crowns him with her heart-felt energies. He receives an unexpected delight, and this translates as high quality to him.

Sweetness reinforces a woman’s femininity and helps, as claimed before, add color to a man’s black and white world. Women shouldn’t seek to make their man sweet, just thoughtful. They should work to like their selves better as females, and this calls for more femininity.  

Sweetness is predominantly a female strength, because women are far more capable than men of giving of themselves. Women are much more easily energized than men to do it. Unfortunately, sweetness seems so natural to the female sex, it easily appears ordinary to the male sex. Consequently, men take it too easily for granted.

Sorry, ladies, but that’s the cake of feminine sweetness. She’s sweet because she feels good about herself. Men benefit. And she goes unappreciated for it. The question rises, of course: Why does she do it? Because acting sweet and sweeter makes her like herself better and better. This generates gratitude for herself, and happiness flows out of one’s gratefulness.


Filed under Her glory

625. Random Thoughts — Group 2

♦       Love is never enough. Too many little negatives interfere, and too few positives support it.

♦       Modern men have many malpractices for dealing with women and living with one. But men are trainable, when women set their mind to it.

♦       When women want a man more than their dignity and self-respect, they invariably choose poorly.

♦       A woman’s self-love determines her capacity for reliably loving a man. Bitchiness and critical attitude signal a shortage.

♦       Challenge for Wives: When telling him about what happened to you today, try telling it such that he responds with the rarest words a wife ever hears from husband, “Tell me more.”

♦       I wonder what would happen if a woman dressed up for work above and beyond whatever is standard and expected at her place of employment—for example: more feminine, less casual, neater sense of professionalism, etc. Actually I know what would happen. First, other women would dislike them for it. Second, the men would show more attention, respect, and appreciation. Third, other women would gradually follow suit to keep up with leader of the pack. Fourth, it would become a better place to work.     

♦       I credit someone else for this, but I love it: Mother and child is basic Nature. Joining them with a man is basic civilization. I could add: Marriage arranges and the family unit stabilizes civilization.


Filed under Dear daughter

578. Sex: Reward or Incentive?

About choices: Women don’t use their sexual assets very well. Why? God empowers them to do so, each woman has free will to choose, but do wives know husbands well enough?   

About wives: The female nature continually seeks a brighter future. This usually requires that one man help a woman fulfill her hopes and dreams. Men don’t eagerly devote and continue doing such things without compensation for husbanding and fathering. It calls for both incentives and rewards, but women have trouble with the difference. Wives often think sex provides compensation enough, but female thinking easily subverts it.

About husbands: Being competitive producers, providers, protectors, and problem solvers by nature, men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. They appreciate the results of effort and achievement and new challenges.

  • Without being shown respect and appreciation by one woman, men act out their resentments in pursuit of their own interests. They don’t care that much about female opinions, interests, hopes, or dreams unless one woman above all others keeps herself interesting and worthwhile.
  • Rewards satisfy, but incentives challenge. Rewards imply yesterday, but incentives imply today. Being present oriented, men favor challenges far above thank yous.  

About differences:  Men are more strongly motivated with many incentives and a few intermittent rewards than with plenty of rewards. Women are the opposite; they value rewards over incentives. Consequently, wives play the incentive and reward cards wrongly, if at all, and it weakens compensation for husband.

About marriage: A couple’s minds, both conscious and subconscious, are divided about sex.

  • Wife thinks of providing sex as rewarding him, and for which he is expected to show gratitude. When he doesn’t, she’s unhappy. She can’t be grateful either, because her ‘reward model’ doesn’t work. Making this simple but poor choice haunts her into making other mistakes.
  • Husband thinks of frequent and convenient sex as his reward for having married. He’s long since shown his gratitude for it, which means he’s not likely to show much now.
  • Incentivize is a better model for her. Her presence, attractiveness, and willingness make her a daily invitation for sex aka incentive aka challenge. He’s satisfied, because he’s grateful that she reliably confirms marital commitment as he understood it. He can cherish the challenge that she continually presents to his presence.  
  • His reward for giving up his independence is long past and virtually forgotten. To the male mind, married sex means marital duty, which makes gratitude okay but not essential. Hence, whatever gratefulness for sex he shows will likely never be enough for wife.
  • Her presence is an invitation for sex, and her willingness confirms the original reward of marriage.

Husbands and wives sense their sexual sides quite differently. He sees a land of plenty, and she sees a gratitude famine. When wife compensates mate for husbanding and fathering, let her think of incentives rather than rewards, present rather than past, and inviting rather than careless appearance. His male-limited supply of gratitude normally crystallizes around her availability and cooperative willingness for sex rather than sex per se.

Caution: Don’t take the above as more than a description of how their respective minds work and interact. I neither condemn nor advise. Readers can do that.  


Filed under The mind

576. Why Harassment? — Egregious 3

This post follows 574 and 575 and cites tactics for women to use against unwanted sexual advances. If those primary tactics don’t work, these advanced tactics may.

Dealing with egregious advances, these behavior rules work best:

♦       Don’t act angry, don’t complain, don’t explain, and don’t answer questions he may express in surprised innocence. Especially show no empathy or sympathy for him, because you think your words hurt his feelings. 

♦       Don’t stare him down if you work with or for him—he loses too much face to continue working well with you. Otherwise stare-down helps.  

♦       Make him interpret your reaction all by himself. He can’t stand confusion and mystery, because it triggers both his producing nature and problem-solving spirit. Consequently, his behavior should change but not necessarily for the better.

When “Stop that” doesn’t work, other tactics may. Guilt, shame, and ridicule work, and the greatest of these is ridicule. These ideas penetrate the male psyche in ways that help her.

♦       Men are not vulnerable to female accusations about manhood etcetera. They retaliate as with any competitor. Men favor directness and have trouble with indirectness, which is the female forte. They are particularly vulnerable to female hints that indirectly claim they lack finesse and charm. For example: “You act underage, so I need father’s permission.” (Call him underage regardless of his age, and don’t clarify whose father.) Say nothing more.

♦       Threats can work but shock helps: “I’ll ask your wife.” Or, “My last knee-to-the-crotch was a real zinger.” Or, “You once again made my daily journal that I let others read.” For max effectiveness, create doubts, fears, and questions that make him deviate from his standard game plan. Make him face some unknowns simply because you act different than what he already knows how to handle. Shock and awe works for military conquest, and he may be trying it on you. However, it also works to prevent egregious attempts to conquer. 

♦       Strike the guilt chord: “Does Jesus approve your adulterous thoughts?” Or, “Does your wife/girlfriend approve?”

♦       Strike the shame chord: Slap should work with most men. Or, if in public angrily shout “Stop that” or “No.” Stare him down but only if you don’t work with or for him—such as your professor.  

♦       Many things can reduce men to little boys, virtual parenting as it were. For example: Ask a mature and impressive male friend older than the offender to intervene for you. It sends numerous messages. You have a big brother or father figure to protect you. It tells the offender he loses the respect of respectable men, his universal competitors. The older your friend relative to offender, the stronger it indirectly signals his behavior as childish. It changes you from his target for sex to him as offender of female dignity.  

You ladies know better than I how to make these general ideas work at the individual level or even if they will. I offer them merely as insight to how the male mind would likely respond.

Many women are reluctant to so aggressively challenge offending males. I understand, but they should consider this: God made men hard-hearted. To deal with that masculine shortcoming, he made females hardheaded. Use it or lose it.


Filed under How she wins

567. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 32

♦       As women age, their ratio of testosterone to estrogen rises, so they get more authoritative. As men age, they get less aggressive, because their ratio diminishes.

♦       In war men don’t fight for home and country, they fight for the men alongside, military buddies. In wartime women fight for home, family, and beliefs.

♦       Men don’t respect women acting like males. Women don’t respect men acting like females.

♦       Men offer advice cautiously. They can’t stand to be ignored or disregarded. Women offer advice freely. They’re not offended when it goes unheeded or ignored.

♦       She wants to look pretty. He wants to appear in control.

♦       Women are more group-oriented and men more individualistic.

♦       Women expect peace without having to fight for it. Men know they must fight for it.

♦       Men physically defend themselves. Women mentally defend themselves.

♦       The male nature competes but cooperates under pressure. The female nature cooperates first but easily competes under pressure if risks are not threatening to kids or family.


Filed under sex differences

562. Choices Program the Heart — Part II: Background

 I dedicate this series to Princess Jessica who said: “What we allow into our minds programs us in sooooo very many ways…. Please expound.” This is the most complex series and difficult subject I have undertaken to simplify. Hope it works for you. (Part I is at post 555.)

Both mind and heart are continually changing, because they can be programmed and reprogrammed by Self, others, and even surroundings. The results make the difference in whether we just survive the storms of life or learn to dance in the rain, whether we live in harmony with a mate or not, whether we’re happy or not. This series focuses on programming caused by others and surroundings.

The subconscious mind absorbs much of what the conscious mind misses or ignores. For example, subliminal advertising repetitively flashes a word—e.g., PEPSI—on TV screen. It flashes too quickly for the conscious mind to perceive. Nevertheless, it penetrates the subconscious mind, unconsciously affects one’s current feelings, and creates some desire for the product.

In similar fashion, feelings, values, standards, and expectations residing in our subconscious mind can be gradually changed without our being aware. Witness how the sexual revolution has changed female thinking away from their instinctive hard-headedness and soft-heartedness to the opposite when dealing with men or trying to keep a man.  

Other people manipulate our minds by using programmable techniques and pressures, such as those used by advertisers, propagandists, and cultural change agents such as political correctness advocates and community organizers.

Consequently, programming flows out of choices we make consciously or surroundings we deliberately or even absent-mindedly accept, but which program our heart in background mode.

The female, being naturally soft-hearted and energized by feelings, more easily buys into and accepts surrounding influences. She does so, that is, unless she exercises her natural hard-headedness and objects or withdraws from surroundings that offend her sensibilities, her sensitivity to moral or ethical issues.

Details follow soon.


Filed under The mind