504. Virtual Virginity #21

©     Repeatedly refused sex by one woman brings out both the best and worst in a man. This enables females to identify Mr. Good Enough and condition his thinking and shape his interests into potential Mr. Right.

©     As Emerson said: The world turns on hope. Her relationships always spin, plunge, and soar on hope. Virtual virginity shifts his life from hope for sex to hope for her.

©     Her personal policy of virtual virginity should not be disclosed to those that know her. It works better as private commitment to Self. “Not now” leaves a man with hope. “I’m saving myself for marriage” discourages and may destroy all hope before he gets to really know her.

©     Old school values promote maturity before sex, the feminine way. Moderns go for sex before maturity, the masculine way.

©     Modern dating, courtship, and marriage build on sex values and expectations developed as immature and sexually active teenagers. Being in charge matures a person, and virtual virginity puts her in charge of his conquering efforts.

©     A woman primarily committed to virtual virginity strengthens herself against the masculine strategy of ‘vague and unavailable’. If someone becomes a fool, let it be him.  

484. DATING 1: College 101

Casual sex became common several decades ago with college females, and they remain at the leading edge. Dateless sex will come soon to the schools and watering holes near you, but I suspect it has already arrived.

v Old school: Boys went to college for an education and to mature, but they were hopeful of perhaps gaining some sexual experience. Girls went there to find a husband.

v New school: Women attend college expecting or learning to participate in masculine-style sexual freedom. Men go for the sexual opportunities and pleasure of seeing women play stupid. For many of both sexes, education is mere by-product.

v Sexually active women corrupt the dating game for the rest. They ignore the feminine decorum that tends to tame boys into dating.

v Females look for fun and excitement first and forego negotiating for the feminine way. They join wild parties indiscriminately. They drink excessively, and yield as matter of protocol. They let males set socializing values, standards, and expectations designed to produce sex without dating.

v Anecdotal but not inconsequential: One Duke University senior claimed she never had a date in college and knew no one that had. The custom seems common and getting more so. Tom Wolfe’s novel, I Am Charlotte Simmons, describes college life as he researched it. However, no father of a college bound daughter should read the book.

244. What daughters never hear—Section 5

♫♥♫ As one woman claimed, Femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world. (Alison A. Armstrong, Keys to the Kingdom, 2003, PAX Programs, Inc. Sherman Oaks, CA , p.151)

♫♥♫ Old School vs. New School—Until sixty years ago females largely withheld sex until engagement or marriage. Men married expecting to stay that way. Nowadays, with sex so freely available, men dodge marriage as unnecessary or depart it as a dumb move.

♫♥♫ She makes her single self worthy of a man and becomes seller instead of buyer. This clicks her for the recycle bin, although he may not dump her until later. 

♫♥♫ By conqueror’s right he takes control of their sexual agenda. She needs to own it until marriage so as to lay groundwork for weakening his dominance after marriage.

♫♥♫ Men separate sex from the gal. Women stupidly let them get by with it.

[More that daughters never hear appear in posts 227, 214, 200, and 183. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

228. Female Fortitude—46 through 50

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

46. Some women dress erotically to capture a man and follow up with sloppy dress and grooming that turns his head toward other neat and erotically attired females. Other women know that sloppy appearance and inattentive personal grooming at home and in public spawns other women as potential trophies in their man’s eyes.

47. Dark Side Truth #3—Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to favor ingratitude for their man’s imperfections rather than gratefulness for his manliness and strengths. Eventually, a man tires of it, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows.

49. First impressions motivate a man. Modest boobery signals she’s relatively unavailable but may be worth a chase. The man that finds her sufficiently attractive preps himself to spend a lot of time and effort with her. He figures it’s needed just to penetrate her resistance that’s reflected by her apparent modesty. Her modesty energizes his perceptiveness and imagination to her advantage. It also pressures him to learn to honor her expectations for him.

50.  Old school. When women denied sex without marriage, men didn’t take rejection personally. They blamed her hang ups, moral,  religious, or whatever. New school. As modern females provide sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. Some males can’t recover one much less repeated refusals. It can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

152. When women act like men—Part 2

♀ Women discard lovely and attractive feminine behavior. They replace old school intense femaleness with new school faux masculinity.

♀ Women compete against their man, when men expect only cooperation from their woman.

♀ Women play the masculine game of unmarried sex. This empowers men to dodge personal commitments, cultural obligations, and responsible habits for frequent and convenient sex.

♀ By absorbing feminist politics, women condemn the masculine nature while turning off or tuning out their female nature.

♀ Unisex doesn’t play the man’s game, it is the man’s game. Men consequently enjoy frequent and convenient access to sex without obligations for family, kids, or a woman.

♀ If she can depend on herself, she doesn’t need him. If that happens, she’s not grateful for him. If that happens, he’s not too interested in staying with her.

♀ Women discard feminine mystique. They give up old school ‘vague and unavailable’ that fine tunes manliness for new school candidness and extreme familiarity that exposes her vulnerabilities.

♀ Women think everything should be more equal, so they upstage men by initiating sex. Men welcome it, but it short-circuits a man’s respect so essential for enduring love to develop.

 ♀ Experience with many sex partners hardens a woman’s heart. It makes her cynical, suspicious, and unable to like herself enough to hold a man.

135. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 6

A man’s love is founded on respect. And men respect women that persistently uphold values and standards that uplift women relative to men but not at the expense of men. It includes what men would not initiate on their own.

Femininity builds such respect, but Feminism discourages it.

One woman describes one way that men respond to feminine infusions: “Men need femininity. They call it ‘color in a black and white world.’ It heals their wounds, soothes their spirits and recharges their batteries. It is one of the things men look for in their wives; someone who makes them more powerful by feeding them with their femininity.” [‘Claudia’ as quoted in Keys to the Kingdom by Alison A. Armstrong, PAX Programs, Inc., p. 151]

Femininity reflects intense femaleness. It includes values, standards, and expectations on feminine mystique, female modesty, religious morality, faithful monogamy, female-defined manners, female-friendly social standards, holy matrimony, and with emphasis against offense to a woman’s sensibilities. It generates personal power dealing with men. Such individual, social, and cultural values weaken the hormone hurricane winds of male dominance into either submission or toleration.

When the female gender institutionalizes the options just cited, men learn to respect females more than males. Such unconditional respect for women generally undergirds the conditional respect for one woman that eventually transmutes into enduring love after romantic love fades.

Our old school mothers made it work, and our forefathers tamed Nature and built American greatness out of wifely inspirations, expectations, encouragements, gratefulness, and appropriate ‘color’.

Our foremothers did two things very differently than modern women. First, they competed with other women for a man with sex removed from the equation. Second, they cooperated with their husband and returned sex to the relationship. They knew male dominance has to be outsmarted and outmaneuvered and not blatantly squelched.

Further, they exploited their femaleness to clarify two very different and cooperative roles as a couple—separate responsibilities for each. With such purposely built personal advantages, our foremothers balanced relationship power themselves.

Ask your grandmother!

[More jack about Jack appear at posts 129, 114, 97, 91, and 7.]

129. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 08

• A feminist creed: Don’t listen to what men have to say about the female sex. It’s understated, and men are the enemy.
• Feminists blame character flaws for men that cheat. But without women to provide sex to married men, pressures mount for husbands to remain faithful whether they like it or not.
• Feminists insist on equal sharing of housekeeping and childcare responsibilities. The best intentions to equalize workload weakens mutual devotion, because sustaining equality is both friction-causing and impossible to achieve.
• Feminists listen only to women about Feminism. They ignore its impact on the male nature and blame men for not acting as women say they should, would, or could.  
• Feminists move females away from old school maturity-before-sex in favor of new school sex-before-maturity. Men win, women gain sexual freedom and lose the ability to hold onto one man.  
• Feminism teaches women to rationalize a superior role for females, celebrate their independence from men, and compete against their man. This justifies a self-centered competitive rather than an us-centered cooperative spirit. Filling such a role belittles a man’s sense of significance, the loss of which is his greatest fear with any woman.
• Feminists actively honor sexual freedom. Men relish the proliferation of uncommitted sex, but the Marrying Man seeks something very different.
• Feminists claim female independence as a woman’s right. Men let them have it and welcome the consequent watering down of family responsibility.

93. Sex and the fickle girl—Part II

♣ When a woman initiates sex, the man’s sense of importance turns to temporary luck. Men value women more highly when she makes him feel significant. Luck pushes him to try again—elsewhere.

♣ Wives thrive on their man’s devotion, but then they take advantage of it. They belittle and nag him to get better, sacrifice more for her, pay more attention to her, or provide more affection. Instead, her pressures cause his devotion to weaken, his interest to spread outside the home, and his commitment to ultimately fade perhaps altogether.

♣ Women capture a man most successfully when they make him capture her. Easily captured game is easily caught and released. Difficult-to-capture game becomes manly trophies. Men have a hunting nature.

♣ Women ignore old school female virtue in favor of new school ‘anything goes’. The Marrying Man loses interest in marrying and focuses on women for sex.

♣ A.D.D. revisited — Women as the relationship experts are well equipped to accept, adjust, or compensate for a man’s Affection Delivery Disorder. Instead, however, most women focus on themselves. Those surveyed complain most about their man’s lack of showing affection—thus admitting their primary shortcoming to be female Affection Deficit Disorder and their inability to handle it. [See post #3 for more on A.D.D.]

♣ Modern women refuse to pay a man’s price for husbanding and fathering. So, husbands evade personal, family, and relationship responsibilities in favor of guy things and adventures unfriendly to or exclusive of their wife.

♣ The excitement of a new boyfriend distorts a female’s thinking. She’s so excited that she looks at today and forgets all the tomorrows. The female nature best deals with the future, the male nature best deals with the present.  

♣ One poor strategy causes women to lose the war of the sexes. She thinks sex will capture a man, her romancing will confirm him as the right man, and her love will hold him.

[More fickleness at post #34.]