Virtue is learned best before puberty and when taught by parents and authority figures such as teachers. Learned after puberty or taught by peers, behaviors are predominately adolescent. Few appear virtuous to mature men.
What’s the difference? In today’s social marketplace, popularity and wishful thinking overrule experience and wisdom learned the hard way. Boys do, but men don’t find attractiveness in either female popularity or wishful thinking.
Teen peers lack the maturity to match parental teaching and transfer of values, especially those regarding virtue.
Mature parents combine experience, wisdom, and personal concern. They promote cultural standards based on moral and religious values that generate respectable and admirable behavior among girls; boys follow and learn to be men accordingly. You can see it in action, as I recap some results it produced a half-century ago.
♥ Females didn’t have to fear vulgarity and disrespectful treatment, because males anticipated a female’s sensibilities and honored her expectations.
♥ Violence against females was rare.
♥ Violence of all kinds was much less common, because parents and especially females tamed, civilized, and domesticated males much better than today.
♥ Girls providing fellatio in school buses and elsewhere was never thought about, much less done and even copied to become popular.
♥ Mothers directly taught and fathers indirectly coached daughters about boys. Brothers revenged harm to sister’s reputation.
♥ Sexual predators were not unknown, but their numbers were extremely small and audacity weak.
♥ Girls were too easily embarrassed to talk about sex with boys. They explored the subject in the dark, as they were felt over by a boy’s hands. Modesty caused embarrassment in the light, and her virtuous character slowed or stopped his hands in the dark. Or she yielded, self-respect plummeted, virtue took a hit, and his respect and admiration wavered.
♥ Teen pregnancy was shameful and special care was given usually out of town, if the father didn’t marry her. Shame held down the incidence. (I knew of only one teen girl that reputedly had given birth, and I grew up in a mid-size city with four junior high and two big high schools. I got around to half of them socially during my school years: dances, dates, visits, hanging out.)
♥ Female modesty and feminine unknowns taught boys to respect girls in general. Chastity taught boys to respect each girl in particular. Silent admiration flowed easily out of respect, whether she was liked or not.
♥ Pre-pubescent girls knew nothing about sex and were embarrassed by thoughts of it. Boys of that age were ‘educated’ earlier, if they had bigger brothers. But disinterest usually prevailed until puberty set in. (Plenty of challenges other than sexual interests exist for boys and girls in the tweens.)
♥ Children aspired to become mature adults, not adolescent idols. Few grew up and retained the immature mindset of adolescence, because parents set examples to be admired and respected. Kids sought to duplicate parents.
You can imagine that parents used to have it much easier raising kids than do parents today.
The next post describes how moms and grannies exploited virtue.