1831. Sex Difference Redux—Part 79: Feminism vs. Femininity

Theme: Feminism smacked men in the face and promised women a different and supposedly better role model than Femininity. History shows the results. (I capitalize to symbolize the terms as polarized opposites.)

History: When Feminism cut a swath across the social fabric, radical feminists claimed that patriarchy would be overwhelmed by a popular upsurge toward matriarchy. Feminism attacked male dominance and manly behavior on every front. Feminists demeaned to extinction the concept of gentlemen and gentlemanly behavior. They thrust this offending attitude in the face of men: You stink! Men fought back but their natural masculine spirit was driven underground. Subsequent generations of boys have been feminized for lack of rugged individual role models. Consequently today, women complain the pool of marriage candidates appears half empty and half contaminated against ideal courtship, marriage, and raising a family.

Feminism causes disbelief or disinterest in three natural female skills. 1) How to value and uphold morality as the primary key to condition both sexes to live compatibly. 2) How to tame males to accept feminine dominance in matters of female uniqueness and sensibility. 3) How to lure and harness individual men into domestic responsibility with a woman and children. Part of their present-day unhappiness stems from women not using those three natural skills. Instead, they mistakenly expect men to be and act as feminists expect, rather than who and what men actually and naturally are.

Femininity both empowers and enables girls and women to capture, hold, and energize a man to help fulfill female hopes and dreams. Although beneficial in legal, political, and economic venues with which I take no exception here, Feminism disrupts and even cancels the superior influence of women when they deal with men socially and domestically.

Direct comparisons best enable me to dissect the Feminism-Femininity carcass that continues to stink up society and culture after nearly half a century.

♣ Feminism empowers men to liberally spread their seed. ♥ Femininity enables and rewards men for female-friendly discretion and sexual fidelity.

♣ Feminism demeans the significance of men. Spurred by their greatest fear of significance, men resent, resist, and retaliate against females. ♥ Femininity adds satisfying importance to females by admiring masculine significance.

♣ Feminism appeals to female insecurities in order to enhance momentum for criticizing and demeaning men. ♥ Femininity combines and coordinates male and female strengths in order to minimize insecurities.

♣ Feminism destroys fairness in the name of equality and fosters unbalanced competitiveness between the sexes. ♥ Femininity generates and nurtures cooperative and compatible relationships with men.

♣ Feminism demeans male nature. ♥ Femininity appreciates male nature, applauds it, and relies on it to provide, protect, and stabilize family safety and security.

♣ Feminism fakes women into thinking that hook up and shack up will lead inevitably to marry up and thus put each woman in control of her future. ♥ Femininity teaches girls that only abstinence during courtship elevates her with sufficient respect and influence to overcome and compatibly live with a man’s dominant nature.

♣ Feminism confuses men about their role in society. It drives them away from domestic obligations and discourages acceptance of responsibility for others. ♥ Femininity enlightens men about their high priority, highly valued, and highly honored role as producer, provider, protector, and problem solver.

♣ Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually much as men self-centeredly value themselves first. ♥ Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple—just as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize them.

♣ Feminism energizes women to fight against male dominance. ♥ Femininity energizes women to tame and harness male dominance into serving women and children.

♣ Feminism turns men off from honoring the female gender. ♥ Femininity turns men on to respecting the opposite gender, honoring individual females, and loving children.

♣ Feminism energizes women to emasculate men. ♥ Femininity welcomes, endorses, and reinforces the virtues of manliness, and it makes women feel good about themselves in return.

To the exclusion of Feminism, Femininity enables women to deal successfully with male strengths, such as the marvel of male dominance and its ability to produce, provide, protect, and problem solve. Femininity also enables success dealing with weaknesses so unfriendly to females, specifically those of men loving job more than spouse and longing continually for conquest of unconquered females.

♥ Mothers tame aggressiveness or boys express it freely for life. Femininity strengthens motherly efforts to teach the blessings of femaleness so that boys for life carry ultra-respect for the female sex. Femininity also enables moms to nullify the masculine aggression that flares from the anti-maleness of Feminism.

♥ Teen girls civilize boys into men with promise for married life—or boys never learn. A boy is never more attentive to a female than when she’s sexually attractive but unconquered by him. Boys listen and heed and feminine girls have opportunity to teach boys about domestic responsibility and marital way of life. However, boys pay attention more to her than her dreams. The more they know about her, the closer they are to find the trigger that gets her to yield sex the first time. The promise keeps them coming back to learn more about her, which enables her to teach them how to become good husbands. On the other hand, Feminism says to have sex for sake of sex; no need to teach boys how to face up to marital responsibility.  

♥ Femininity promotes chastity, morality, and holding herself for a husband. Not to avoid sex so much as to uplift the virtue and promise a female has for wifehood. Feminism preaches or condones the opposite and tends to de-civilize boys into little more than narcissistic pursuers of sex.

♥ Bachelorettes and wives domesticate men to settle down or else men avoid devoting themselves to one woman. Feminine virtues of cooperation, gratefulness, and promise for a good life as a couple generate mutual respect and domesticate men. To the extent this model breaks down under the pressures of Feminism, relationships follow suit (as they have for decades).

♥ Feminine mystique works to hold men’s attention. A man’s curiosity, interest, and desire flow more easily toward that which he finds attractive but can’t fully comprehend.

♥ Our foremothers used patience, pleasantness, kindness, gratitude, indirect and non-challenging influence, and plenty of time to mold both husband and family. They smothered their family with loyalty and support. They served gentleness and kindness with generous platters of food. Lifetime marriages were in vogue. Feminism discourages the outcome of such lifetime marriages by condemning our foremothers’ way of harmonizing family and home.

As women go, so goes society. Feminists—especially political correctioneers—cause the sexes to fight over gender values. However, in the grand scheme of a happier life, women capitalize on male strengths to compensate for male weaknesses and fulfill female hopes and dreams. It’s best done by dumping feminist values and relying on Femininity that is so natural and potentially powerful for individual females.

778. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 7

REWARDS

The previous six chapters show patriarchy natural for females to exploit, and matriarchy has no chance of replacing it. Consequently, women are ‘forced’ to try harder than men up until they ‘convert’ one man to devote himself to marriage, husbanding, and fathering. After that, husbands have to devote harder to provide and protect, while wives devote to holding the relationship together. (It sounds severe, because we’re viewing married life beneath the positive surface and bonding attributes of love.)

God designed and Nature rewards the female. She’s compensated for male dominance and the relative imbalances just cited with an endowment of relationship expertise. Females know who, what, when, where, why, and how to successfully deal with males or a man. It’s their longest and strongest suit, if they play their hand not perfectly but just well.

To pay for the gift of their dominant spirit, God designed and Nature makes males susceptible to capture by sexual relations, by the females’ unique ability to reward males. Capture is one thing, and men don’t mind. Holding one is another, because men do mind suppressing their hunter-conqueror spirit.

·        Men expect continual rewards for swapping their independence for family responsibility. Convenient sex is but a frequent reminder. Other female attributes such as femininity, likeability, and attractiveness seal the deal for holding a man through a lasting marriage. Compared to other women and leaving sex out of the equation, husband perceives wife as extraordinary. It makes yielding his independence worthwhile.

·        Women hopeful of keeping their man reward with male-friendly incentives and avoid most of what incentivizes females. For example, wife makes herself attractive at all times and avoids sloppy appearances and careless grooming before her man. (She saw the need for it in courtship, so why drop it in marriage, why show that she tricked him?) When she puts her laziness before pleasing his eyes, she desensitizes husband to her importance for him.

·        Over and above what they may earn themselves, women want some measure of wealth provided and protected by a help-mate in order to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Only a man can provide it reliably, and husbands do it best.

·        Their relationship expertise tells women to focus on what they have, and what a man can do for them. And focus not on what they lack and particular men can’t or won’t do for them.  

Brightening the females’ future relies on creating and accumulating new economic wealth. Men are naturally endowed to create it, and women are naturally endowed to take advantage of it. Not by gold-diggers in the traditional sense, but thar’s much gold to be mined in them patriarchal hills by women that appreciate the male gender for all it can do and respect it for just being different.

And thus this series ends.

777. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 6

MEN

• Men are driven to overcome Nature, compete with other men, and control human events. They need only a place to flop, eat, throw their things, and prepare for tomorrows’ battles.
• Fortunately, when political and economic freedom prevails, the greatest legacy of the competitive male nature emerges. Men compete against Nature and among themselves. Their achievements create wealth. This generates economic growth that brightens the future for women and children.
• However, while men produce and problem solve in the normal course of masculine life, their primal ambitions don’t include a female except for sex. Only well-prepared women can overcome the tsunami of resistance in men, when they’re asked to swap their independence for family responsibility.

The question asked in Chapter Three pops up rephrased: How do women capitalize on patriarchy to gain and protect their wealth and their children? The answer: Women capitalize on strengths and minimize weaknesses of both sexes.

Being the relationship experts, women make their relationships work better. They intuitively know how to massage the male ego, harness the masculine drive, and help recover from manly discouragements. They use femininity to add color to every man’s B&W world, and then each woman selects the best of those screened to help fulfill her own hopes and dreams.

Chapter 7 tomorrow ends the series and describes the need for mutual rewards.

775. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 4

MORE DETAILS

This continues the part of yesterday’s article where I said: “Historical facts suggest women will be eternally blessed and made hopeful by male-dominated, wealth-building society. The question then pops up: How do women capitalize on what they face? How do they balance their interests with those of men? Before Feminism came along, our foremothers intuitively knew how. The answer squirts out in this misty spray: Women depend on, use, and exploit men in society and around the house. (Details tomorrow)” The details now follow.

Women depend on, use, and exploit men in many ways. But it’s best done gradually and unnoticeably. Before anyone says I’m endorsing manipulation, think again for I’m not. All that follows is motivated naturally by these primal urges: her drive to nest, nurture, and nestle; her need for a brighter future; her wants for a man’s help in fulfilling her hopes and dreams, her fear of abandonment, and her time focus on the future more than the present.

The following is not a How To. It’s intended to be educational. So, it requires study to deepen one’s understanding of the female nature when balancing self-interest with that of a man:

·        She stakes out ownership of the feminine domain and competes to preserve it. She clearly and ungrudgingly yields ownership of the masculine, and cooperates to help men or husband to do better.

·        She competes strongly with men to preserve her chastity or marital fidelity. She cooperates strongly with husband to preserve their relationship. She assumes responsibility for ‘maintaining’ any relationship.

·        She has a natural urge to take charge of almost everything concerning her family. She knows when she shouldn’t especially in areas that husband considers his responsibility or domain.

·        Without offending husband, she learns to control enough of life’s events to pursue her hopes and dreams for her family. She wins enough independence by depending on him.

·        She knows men don’t like to ask females for help, and so she anticipates and meets husband’s needs without his asking. It’s not reciprocal, however, because he isn’t as sensitive to her feelings.

I found the list too big for one day. It will finish tomorrow.

774. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 3

SWAP-MEET

·        No matriarchy has arisen or replaced patriarchy over the past 7,000 years. More recently, feminists tried and failed to turn patriarchy into an abbreviated matriarchy. Those historical facts suggest women will be eternally blessed and made hopeful by male-dominated, wealth-building society.

·        The question then pops up: How do women capitalize on what they face? How do they balance their interests with those of men? Before Feminism came along, our foremothers intuitively knew how. The answer squirts out in this misty spray: Women depend on, use, and exploit men in society and around the house. (Some details tomorrow)

·        Our foremothers exploited this expression: ‘The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world’. They understood that well-raised, well-masculinized, and well-civilized boys start the process by which men learn to give up their independence in favor of family responsibility.

·        Under that Womanhood-woven and feminine banner, moms civilize boys, girls tame adolescents, husband-seekers tangle and tie up men in platonic relationships, and wives domesticate husbands. Women and not adolescents set the standards and expectations for younger females. Ladies lead by example.

·        Under nurturing leadership by moms and other ladies, most females bonded around one particular theme. I don’t imagine it was phrased this way, but the actions of Womanhood produced and promoted this cultural value: Providing unmarried sex discourages males from yielding their independence and accepting family responsibility.

·        Intercourse events outside of marriage were countless, but mature women centered their soft-hearted kindness on children, their own husband, and their family. They used their hard-headed nature to handle others and especially to keep men in their place. It all came together over many decades to make our culture much more female-friendly and stabilize society with the family as primary institution.

·        Before social disturbances in the 1960s reversed the trend, our foremothers had learned to convert men from bachelorhood to marriage. Stable family life was in vogue. They achieved equilibrium with this arrangement: Husbands dominated society and the workplace. Wives dominated the culture and the home. (Society is what we do, and culture is why we do it.)

Chapter 4 tomorrow cites the details mentioned in next-to-top paragraph.

772. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 1

It’s a man’s view, but modern women need re-education about WHY they should mine the gold in patriarchy. I hope you stay for the whole show, uh, I mean epic. The chapters are Wealth, Women, Swap-meet, Men, and Rewards.

WEALTH

·        Men have the greater ability to create wealth; it’s embedded in their competitive nature. Women have the greater need for wealth; it’s embedded in both their need for a brighter future and primal fear of abandonment.

·        Wealth is anything of value to the owner, and creating more wealth stimulates the economy. The greater the wealth, the better off are the people and especially women and children.

·        Private ownership of wealth benefits everyone, provided it is distributed fairly—that is, everyone has equal opportunity to build, accrue, and own it. As we have it in America.

·        Natural male dominance makes men capable of denying, suppressing, and taking wealth from women. Consequently, females have to compensate to make men share for more than sex. We call it marriage.

Chapter 2 tomorrow describes the females’ interests.

765. Beware Red Flags — Part 1

Her Highness Sara at 756 said: “…do you have any tips on how to know if a guy is the right one or not?” No, I don’t. So, I’ll lead off with the big picture today and tomorrow. Then tips will follow that help identify Mr. Wrong.

First, I believe women err trying to find Mr. Right or declaring someone as the ‘right one’. Identify a Mr. Good Enough and test, evaluate, and build from there.

Men are only candidates with potential for husbanding and fathering, until each woman sees years later that she made the right choice. Calling any man the right one weakens her ability to think, reason, and evaluate him for helping fulfill her hopes and dreams after romantic love fades.

Second, love doesn’t hold a couple together, because romantic love ultimately fades after the first year or two. Eternal love and marital glue comes from mutual respect, personal closeness, likeability, and enjoy-ability. But little things eat away at the glue.

Life’s inevitable irritants, frustrations, and personal attacks eat away at marital glue and stability. The groundwork to minimize these negatives should be laid earlier, and pre-conquest provides the greatest opportunity. Consequently, as the relationship expert, most of the burden lies with her.

Men have little interest in preventing future squabbles, especially with a female. They don’t think that way. Their nature focuses on the present, and they can always dominate or manhandle a woman if necessary. Not saying that it’s right, fair, equal, or justified, it’s just Nature. (Feminists tried to change the male nature and failed. Our foremothers mastered the art of harnessing the male nature, and they made patriarchy work for women and children.)

Third, relationships have stages that women need to master in their minds so they don’t run off at the heart. That’s tomorrow.

759. Response to Viewer — Item 22a

At post 751 Her Highness Easybreezy says: “The men around me these days I just don’t find all that appealing.”

Social pressures cause the phenomenon, and I’d bet many women are plagued by it. I can’t offer much without describing the background. Tomorrow’s post addresses the foreground.

Question. Why do men seem so unappealing?

History. Men used to work energetically to develop a relationship that resulted in marriage, and most men married fairly young and for life. No more, or at least not enough of them do it that way. Men now set the standards for cultural values that women, especially wives, used to dominate.

Feminism. The genders drifted apart over the past four decades. Instead of the institution of family pulling the sexes together with common interest, Feminism promoted female-dominant relationships under the guise of ending patriarchy. The male nature didn’t change but resisted instead. Free and easy sex compensated the male gender, so boys and men let females play their feminist games.

However, mutual respect between the genders wilted along the way. A man’s love is based on respect, and the male heart developed leaky valves.

Surgery. Men need heart valve replacements. Qualifications for surgeons are strict: Only non-feminist, ardently feminine, hard-headed, and soft-hearted females need apply. Only they can do surgery that makes male patients appreciative, grateful, and ultimately devoted to one surgeon.

Objectives. Women seek marriage, but men don’t unless they have to. Consequently, men show no signs of being marriage-minded, it registers as unappealing, and it leaves females wondering what they do wrong.

Guilt. Women feel guilty and blame men but men don’t accept any guilt. When women make themselves more appealing, men will become more appealing. But that’s tomorrow’s post.