Tag Archives: people

131. Loose lips at Heartbreak Hotel—3rd floor


Solved—her commode seat problem. With just a little coaching, she can prevent his being inconsiderate, her being disappointed, and both being argumentative. Every user as appropriate lowers both commode seat and lid. This makes toilet obligations equal, responsibility unarguable, and commode appearance more in tune with her female sensibilities.

When she looks good, he says nothing. He’s with her precisely because she looks good to him. He only wants to see it, but she wants to hear it. She reads his silent up-check as an up-chuck. Open warfare often starts over such sex differences.

A man’s love is based on respect for one woman he sees as extraordinary. This means he does not really understand her feminine mystique, modesty, moral standards, and female imperatives. Determined trueness to these aspects of her female nature—the opposite of Feminism—uplifts her in a man’s eyes.

Men are more teachable before conquest than after, so platonic courtship shapes her future. Especially about her expectations, those thoughtful things that will prevent her being taken for granted. Flowers when? Remember what? Affection when, how often, what form? Picking up what and after who? Help with what, where, and when? What works and doesn’t work for parents and other examples? And especially and unforgettably for him, what she dislikes and can’t stand.  

Women don’t have to embrace the feminist ideology to embrace feminist values. Hence, to attract attention, women dress their daughters like hookers, sanction teen sexual activity, show cleavage to match plumber backside displays, and dress erotically. Men just go on their merry way eyeballing exposed skin and dreaming wishfully about going from older blossom to younger blossom. Boys exploit girls as ‘friends with benefits’.

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120. Choices determine life


First, the way we dress plays a major role in how we behave. People judge behavior. Therefore, our attire and grooming generate judgments about us, and people act on those judgments when they deal with us.

Second, we are who we associate with. So, dressing like our peers catalogues us. It breeds stereotypes. As mother so correctly stated, “Birds of a feather flock together.”

Third, dressing up improves part of one’s appearance, so it brings self-gratitude, which brings happiness with oneself, which improves the picture one has of oneself, which breeds self-confidence and greater ability to deal successfully with others.

Fourth, when women dress up they make my world prettier. Of course, women respond that they care little about brightening this man’s world, but I’m not the only man out there. If women don’t want to light up the world men live in, men are released to uglify in their own style. In the end, the way women dress and groom themselves shapes the real world for all of us.   

A WOMAN DRESSES AND GROOMS HERSELF:

©      For comfort to please herself.

©      With class to show her self-confidence.

©      Prettily to feel good about herself.

©      Distinctly to attract a man’s attention.

©      Sloppily if she just doesn’t care.

 ©      As a hottie to avoid being called a nottie.

©      Femininely if she wants respect and recognition for who she is.

©      Professionally if she works proudly in her job.

©      Masculinely if she’s bitch or butch.

 ©      Gaudily if she’s weak at reading other people or insensitive to or disdainful of their judgments.

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115. The Essence of Feminism


Feminism is an ideology. It tells other people how to live according to politically inspired values, but it generates social illnesses. (I applaud the legal, political, and economic gains wrought by Feminism. Instead, I focus on the damaging social consequences inflicted on couples.)

 The feminist ideology wraps the female heart with meanness toward men. It breeds selfishness and self-centeredness, which puts mental ugliness into the mainstream of life. It makes women stand up inside and shake a fist at men. It pushes men to fight back with what often becomes abuse and violence.

Early feminists buried as trash the female-friendly concepts of the Lady and the Gentleman. They spiked tenderness into the hardened turf of politics, which sacrificed the female desire to be cherished by a man. They uplifted sexual freedom as equality with men that women deserved.

How did it happen that Feminism prostitutes the female nature and turns men away from family responsibility? Simple. The roots lie in politics with people that wanted to change the world to their image. They wanted to make a difference and strategized without input from men. 

Two world views separate those that did it from those that would not have done it—the political Left from the Right, the political females from the natural females, the feminists from the feminine.

“One view, the Anglo-American, holds that human ability to comprehend, adjudicate, and arrange the world around us is limited; that the only attainable goal is continuously to improve the conditions which enable individuals to achieve their personal best.”*

Those who hold this world view occupy the right side of the political spectrum. Their beliefs foster leadership by example rather than using politics to tell others how to live.

“The other view, predominantly Franco-Germanic, places human reason at the center of our existence, claiming that certain people are capable of comprehending, adjudicating, and arranging the world around us; and that such people are called upon to guide all others toward an increasingly perfect and just world in which all desires will have been either eliminated or satisfied.”*

The early feminists, and those that helped propagate their ideology, hold the latter world view. They empower themselves with feminist theory, dogma, and propaganda and adjudicate and arrange the world for the rest of us.

They thought themselves elitist enough and capable of changing how men treat women by telling women how to mistreat men.

As a result, modern women fish with bare breasts and net a man with sex. But, they can’t hold him. Thus, women pay the price of feminist elitism that substituted Feminism for Femininity.

* My thanks to Balint Vazsonyi for the two quotes. They’re from his book America’s 30 Years War, Who is Winning? (p.106) 

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110. Matrimony or acrimony?


How women integrate and harmonize these factors into their marriage can determine the outcome.

§  Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This empowers them to become relationship experts, which positions them to know how to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage. Men have neither such expertise nor interest.

§  Men are driven to compete with Nature, against other men, and to control and shape human events. Their sex drive is but a subset, because women can easily tame male aggression and sex drive through social and personal values, standards, and expectations. (Men prefer fingernails on a slate chalk board to competing with women, especially their wife. Not in simple games, but in the major processes of life, in key decision-making and bringing home the bacon. Modern women do not like it, but they also do not like the marital collapse that follows when they don’t heed their man’s natural inclination.)

§  A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. She seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill these needs, she must give of herself to a help-mate, or do it alone and lonesome.

§  Men absolutely need only one thing, a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. If she does not want to maintain at least a hut for him, someone else will.

§  Women do not absolutely need a man, but they want company. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people. Two men won’t knowingly share her, so one man best fulfills her wants.

§  He wants the freedom to do as he chooses, especially to make himself stand out as a competitor, his own man, a man of significance.  He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce or reproduce, or just do something new or exciting even in his spare time.  She must pay a continuing price for him to curtail his freedom in favor of her.

§  A woman’s time focus emerges from her primal need to brighten her future. Most of her present-day concerns were handled as part of yesterday’s future. She dreams a lot about enhancing and making her relationship more solid.

§  A man’s time focus emerges from his primal readiness to compete, which mandates that he focus on today and its problems. He knows full well he can solve tomorrow’s problems, when they arrive. Where women dream about the future, his primary concern for the future revolves around what he can do today to prepare for tomorrow. 

 

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72. Submissiveness—Section 2


A sexy man. Men perceive themselves with one primary persona in life—being a man. His sexiness helps, and if it’s not evident, he’ll prove it in bed.

Men don’t voluntarily abandon the hormonal urge of being a man. But they enlarge their persona when coached to do so by one woman. Since improvement requires a man to change, respect is her key to the operating room, submissiveness her surgical instrument.

A man expects to succeed as himself in all his relationship roles. He focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects of him.

Whatever roles he fits himself into, he knows what he has to do in each. He claims certain domains and proceeds to fulfill his responsibility, overcome obstacles, and produce desirable goals to his satisfaction.

For example, his family needs more money, so he gets a second job. Wife expects more affection, so he washes her car. She expects help with spring cleaning, so he uses the leaf blower while she’s away. In all cases, he needs control over the appropriate domains of family life for him to be successful to himself.

If he’s not successful to himself, he’s not likely to be adequate for his woman. She may try to talk him into success, but his self-fulfilling prophecy can too easily prove otherwise. Eventually, they’ll fold as a couple.

It’s far more important that she help him succeed to himself than to her or the family—if he’s worth keeping. It’s the taproot of family integrity. People keep doing what they are successful at to themselves, as they see it, or as they want others to perceive it.

Post 73 is a sequel about the female side.

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