1609. Advertising Online for Dates — Part VII

Her Highness Laura faces this. “Not a single man I have “met” since my husband’s death through online dating or in ‘real life’ measures up to these criteria [that Guy cites]. I agree that they are the correct criteria. Does this mean that those of us who are single and refuse to lower our standards have to find some sort of peace in being on our own?”

Not at all. You only have to better challenge men to rise to your values, standards, and expectations. As examples, I have taken the previous list of things that women will never hear from men (post 1608), reworded them for womanly use, and rephrased them to challenge men to rise up to please one woman. A woman’s ad, chatting, phone-talk, and dating should include some of the following or something like it.

I suggest you start with phrasing similar to this: ‘You’ll have to trust that I’m a lady of quality and I’m looking for a man of similar worth. If you choose to respond, know that I’m looking to see what gentleman qualities you might bring to a date.’ [Only examples follow, your female imagination can improve the whole lot.]

1. In three words or less for each, how do you view yourself with these terms? Modesty/ humility, mouthiness, appearance, and expectations about the role of a woman in your life. [Guy says, there’s nothing sacrosanct about these terms. You should develop your own.]
2. In the course of a marriage, who do you think should work out the relationship kinks and help recover from mistakes? I know. Because I mention marriage, you assume that’s all I’m after. Not so. I seek to date men that honor the institution. I figure if they don’t, then they don’t honor women.
3. Describe your work ethic and where you got it.
4. On what occasion were you complimented about your sense of personal responsibility?
5. Describe how your dad treated your mom. How did it affect you?
6. Describe your relationship with your sister(s).
7. I figure your ears don’t easily synchronize with woman-talk. Any ideas on how you might overcome that handicap?
8. Which comes first? Friendship or romantic love?
9. I view integrity as vital to staying power in a relationship. Can yours match mine?
10. Tell me, what sours a man on marriage? What does marriage do for a man?
11. I find it easy to admire men trained to live admirable lives, such as eagle scouting, soldiering with success, small business-owner success, and smooth gliding on the dance floor.
12. If your oats are sowed, what comes next? Have you even thought about it?
13. I’m no feminist. I seek to date a man that values social correctness over political correctness.
14. I envision this kind of life. Very independent while single. Very dependent while married. I also expect the transition to be a long way off.
15. I play piano and visualize harmonizing a home musically as example for harmonizing it domestically.
16. I can’t help if you’re overweight. I might though, if you overeat.
17. I expect you to wait for sex until I’m good and ready. First to talk about it, then to wonder and plan about it, and then to consummate. The trade off will be for your independence. If patience is a strong suit, I might be interested.

Overnight I thought of more.

• My girlfriends claim men are self-centered and not to be trusted. I think that may be the reaction of how they treat men.
• Church-going men seem to respect women easily, which makes it easier for a woman to reciprocate. A man respected deeply by a woman stands taller, don’t you think?
• Men are never more handsome than when they treat females as princesses, queens, and matriarchs. Is it worth what else you get in return?
• I know you’ll claim to be many things you think will interest me. Aim those things at this: I’m pretty enough, very modest, and highly value character in a man. I figure out the latter from what I conclude and not from the words that men choose to describe themselves.

Now, after reading this post, I’m sure you ladies are in rebellion. You can’t visualize yourself talking like that in ad, chat, phone-talk, or date. Great! Then what do you propose that makes men come out of the shell that feminists and gold diggers have taught them to hide within? What will disclose early-on what a man really is like? What gives women better info for early screening?

My view is that only shock and awe will disturb the males’ conviction that they know best what they are doing. Only bold and assertive women can convince them otherwise. Whatever they respond with obligates them to be that way and you have a head start.

1594. His Little Interest in Sex — Part I: Feminist Causes

Her Highness Pink Peony inquired at 1590, why so many and even Christian wives complain that “their husbands didn’t want sex with them and some were newlywed.…what would cause this and what would a wife do in such a circumstance without making it worse?” The answer lies completely within this concept: lack of respect.

As I address Feminism, keep this in mind. I’m proud of legal, political, and economic gains of women. I exclusively address the causes and effects within the social and domestic arenas, where men and women relate with each other as couples.

The lack of respect has roots in Feminism and the death of Ladyhood. They led to the demise of gentlemanly behavior and generated the more direct cause of wives’ disappointment in husbands—that is, cheap and easy sex made ubiquitous and promiscuous sex made popular. The following cause-and-effect upheavals spread into an epidemic.

• Women inspired by Feminism demean males. Feminist cohorts teach enthusiasts to regard men as unrespectable. Not just for what they do, but for what men think, stand for, and are capable of doing. Ostensibly, the macro purpose is to kill paternalism, and political correctness is a greatly popular micro tactic. (Contrary to feminist’ hopes and promises, maternalism hasn’t developed but paternalism intensifies.)
• To compensate men for ill-treatment and prevent cultural upheavals, feminists promote and propagandize cheap and easy sex. Women buy into the propagandized game so enjoyable, profitable, but also less risky to men. The interests of traditional women are buried in social activity that promotes sex as entertainment. (Hate is easier to generate than love, entertainment is easier to promote than moral uprightness, sex is easier to promote than monogamy. The easier ways harm marriages. Consequently, our ancestors promoted the social and domestic strengths found in Judeo-Christian morality.)
• Compensated by plenty of sex, modern men go along to get along. Marriage is exclusively the woman’s game to promote and sustain. Husbandly and fatherly responsibility weaken and smother marriages with parental irresponsibility for raising the next generation. Each new generation causes further deterioration of traditional values formerly controlled by Womanhood. Daughters outdo their moms who outdid their own moms. (Adults now substitute pets for having children; they fear their own ability to raise children who might be as difficult to raise as they were. It symbolizes adult disrespect for both themselves and any children they might have.)
• Each new generation creates their own set of social values, standards, and expectations. Consider this: We get a new generation every six or seven years as the next has to make itself different from the last about the time they enter first grade.

The fallout of those upheavals still churns and twists the cultural values, standards, and expectations out of the hands of women—the traditional dominant power—and into the hands of male-dominated entertainment and electronic media. Fifty years ago men dominated society (what we all do) and the workplace; women dominated the home and culture (why we do what we do). Nowadays, men dominate all four arenas except for micro incidents in judicial and administrative matters and political correctioneers looking to advance their agenda.

The cheap and easy sex epidemic invades the home of married couples and infiltrates the bedroom. That’s where this series takes us, but the consequences of cheap and easy sex come first—tomorrow.

1571. The Power of Giving

The greatest result arising from our Judeo-Christian culture that made the American experiment so successful is this. Children are taught to live up to someone bigger than themselves, an unchallengeable supreme being. With it come the greatest blessings of all, free will and the power of forgiveness, especially of Self but also of others. By proving themselves worthy of God’s love as adults, they learn much easier to live up to the expectations of those they love, i.e., an earthly form of servant’s love.

Why does it work that way and so well? Because God’s love that comes through faith embellishes self-esteem, and endows a person with indisputable self-love that energizes them with the power to share it. Don’t think of self-love as pride but the willingness of people to give of oneself on behalf of others. Women are born with self-love, and so their ability to wrap themselves in God’s love and share it with others comes much easier than for men.

Today, Christian faith diminishes before our eyes. The willingness of the ancients to die for our faith has transmuted through the centuries into present-day unwillingness even to defend it against the pressures generated by secularism, atheists, and politicians. Political correctness, designed to make people too fearful to speak up, now destroys the freedom of celebrating our faith whereas the lions of the Roman Coliseum couldn’t.

1283. Adults Escape Blame by Stigmatizing Children—Part C

Children are molded primarily by adults in the roles of parents who parent, teachers who teach, and principals who ‘principal’. Presumably they all know how. However, they are also authority figures. But many don’t know the ‘how to’ of using authority. Some are innocent. Some are confused. Some are ignorant. Together, they misuse the role, abuse their power, and drive children into the misfit corral. Those are the children so easily tagged with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).

Adult authority is an aura of power that easily and naturally earns respect of children. However, misuse or obsessive dependence on it causes children to lose respect for wielders. Those that use it minimally and without abuse earn greater respect for teaching by example. (Once taught, and sometimes just from their undeveloped conscience, children know when they are wrong. So, underuse of authority settles more fairly and acceptably into the immature psyche. )

Many adults inflict unfair or unjust punishment. Some signify an already opinionated lack of respect or perhaps disrespect for the targets of their misused authority. Others overreact due to bruising of their egos by misbehaving children or non-supportive bosses. And still others misuse authority for political reasons and political correctness.

As described in Part B, children quite naturally build their own self-respect. Boys build it by self-valuing their accomplishments. Girls build it by self-valuing their relationship building. They naturally expect that adults respect them, so respect shown to them adds minimally to their self-respect.

However, each child’s self-respect can be destroyed by enough of these two negative adult opinions flashed into a child’s face: lack of respect and disrespect. Those negatives are not synonymous. Lack of respect denies what a child needs. Disrespect mocks the child.

Frequent or continual display of both negatives can devour self-respect, diminish self-image, and justify fighting back. Boys reach for new ways to find self-admiration and girls to find self-importance. “Negativity, defiance, disobedience, and hostility directed toward authority figures” comes easily to immature minds.

Boys have a still-building sense of their significance, and losing it is their greatest fear. The pressure drives boys more easily than girls toward the behaviors that lead adults to tag them as ODD.

Children thrive on the absence of lack of respect and disrespect. Authority figures use their authority to discipline or impose punishment. With the slightest misuse or overuse, authority figures show lack of respect or disrespect. Therein lays the cause of the spread of ODD.  

The most effective uses of authority continue in Part D with this thought: Children don’t need to be told, taught, or enforced how NOT to be children. They need to be taught how to be an adult.

1246. Review of What’s Not New

Men have not changed their nature as women expect. Consequently, females can’t succeed dealing with males as they think they ought to.

Social pressures imposed by modern females convert male behavior – but not the male nature. Women claim that men are doing what women don’t want, and the self-fulfilling prophecy delivers more of what women think about. Men grow into the image that women have of them.

More and more with each new generation over the past few decades, boys and men changed their behaviors to match what females focus on and talk about. Such as: Compliments are sexually suggestive and so men quit. Gentlemanly behavior is chauvinist, and so men quit. Women are not the weaker sex, and men started punching them more often. Men are only after sex, and men would have backed off except females relieved the pressure by making cheap and easy sex ever more popular.

Males now change their behavior to attract females for sex instead of to qualify as the mate of one. If women want femmy men as requirement for frequent and convenient access to sex, men will get femmy. Men turn away from the masculine toward the feminine. They even duplicate female behaviors.

Men shift away from integrity and toward the fashionable. They downplay rugged individualism and favor relationships. They abandon the macho image for wussiness. They trade aggressiveness for the appearance of faux neutering. They yield their manliness to political correctness. They use disreputable or unrespectable celebrities as role models. They duplicate females by trying to get emotional fulfillment through other people instead of the male’s natural way through his work. They display faux empathy and sympathy (such as by inquiring quickly after anyone’s surprise or stumble, “Are you okay?”).

Even though men now hug and openly proclaim their love of other men, it is a female-inspired front and their masculine nature remains unchanged. Deep inside men are still not females. The behavioral changes that women expect generate some but not the important qualities they want in their man. Even worse, men accumulate resentment and resistance and retaliate in a broad range of actions from self-centered silence to extreme violence.

 

1194. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 35

• We’re all in this together. Men translate female appreciation into respect for them as pleasers of women. At the macro level, female respect of the opposite sex rewards females at the micro level with masculine eagerness to please. 
• You’ve seen them. Some people see, recognize, and accept only what they believe. Their minds are made up and often hardened beyond understanding by anyone else. (Two examples: (1) Ideological zealots. (2) After a sour marriage women turn against men and men turn against marriage.) Such people can’t rationally discuss contrary facts or arguments, because their beliefs are challenged and questioned by information not currently believed.
• The instant you reject learning something new, your mind becomes convinced that you know everything you need to know about the subject. It qualifies you to make and justify your own opinions and choices.
• Immobilized and unmovable minds have all they need to know except how to listen.
• There are three kinds of women for men: Sexually desirable for him, sexually deserving of other men, and a very few others.
• Feminists claim only reproductive systems make the sexes different. Should women believe that all other differences are created by raising boys and girls differently? (Dennis Prager claims that “Truth and political correctness are mutually exclusive.”)

1184. Boot Camp for Girls—Day 21: Grandfather’s Advice #8

Beautiful granddaughter, you deserve to be placed on a pedestal. However, don’t rely on your beauty. It melts down with aging.

Boys don’t put a girl on a pedestal. Men don’t put a woman on a pedestal. Guys don’t put their fiancé on a pedestal. Husbands don’t put their wife on a pedestal. Females build their own pedestals. Males view the various pedestals and assess the promise emanating from them.

Females begin construction in girlhood and continue for decades and maybe life. They build their pedestal by stacking coins of virtue for each male to see, evaluate, and uncover her promise as girlfriend, fiancé, lover, or wife.

She must construct her own pedestal because of the way males think. First, they admire accomplishments. Second, they don’t believe in unearned gifts. Third, they expect hallowed respect to be earned. Fourth, to openly adore someone makes them look weak. Fifth, they love it when females put up with their expectations.

Expect your pedestal to be observed two ways. The man in your life sees your ingredients of construction, coins of virtue. Outside observers see how you’re adored by him.  

Imagine coins of virtue stacked to rise with each coin added. The stack elevates her stature and status in male eyes. They add up to the promise she holds for her boyfriend/man/fiancé/husband. Other people recognize the pedestal top by how the current male in her life respects her as a person, girlfriend, female, and friend.

Now to the coins. Virtue means unique to females and complimentary to males. She adds value to herself and interest and comfort to his life. It registers as virtue and programs his heart in her favor.

(Forget about showing physical affection. It has little value as virtue. Boys see physical affection as prelude to foreplay and therefore sex. A female’s distinction from other females thus fades with displays of physical affection.)

I now present a goldfield of virtues just waiting to be mined and stacked as your personal pedestal. These foundations come first: Feminine mystique pleasantly defies his understanding of the female psyche. Female modesty proclaims female uniqueness. Moral behavior earns admiration for dedication to living the good life. Monogamous beliefs pledge sexual fidelity. Abstinence makes a man’s heart grow fonder (out of respect and promise of fidelity). The following make those foundations resonate with clarity and intensity.

• Physical attractiveness marvelously enhanced by affordable attire and classy grooming.
• Sexual attractiveness enhanced by modest coverings to reinforce that other men are forbidden.
• Gentleness provided out of patience.
• Forgetfulness that automatically follows forgiving someone.
• Thoughtfulness that her mate deserves.
• Gratefulness for her man that shines as her being happy when he’s around.
• Submissiveness as her spirit of cooperation.
• Happiness that spreads infectiously.
• Joyfulness that inspires greater hope.
• Chasteness promised to him by modest display of boobs and legs.  
• Generousness that smashes selfishness out of her life.
• Delightfulness that makes her man smile.
• Unselfishness that spreads as example for all.
• Neatness that inspires others.
• Goodness that sets a shining example.
• Faithfulness that inspires him to follow suit.
• Competitiveness with him before marriage but only cautiously on matters of principle afterward.
• Cooperativeness with him on marital matters.
• Indirectness and seed planting used as main strategy for getting her way.

However, venom from the snake pit injects grease between coins of virtue. The greasiness destabilizes the pedestal structure. Venom such as:

• Facetiousness prompted by fear of being wrong.
• Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.
• Selfishness never untaught to her in childhood.
• Busyness pursuing her personal rather than their mutual agenda.
• Fussiness inspired by desire for perfection.
• Bitchiness that flows from envy, jealousy, and similar emotions related to others.
• Fearsomeness brought on by mistakes or failures that she thinks might be repeated endlessly. 
• Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her desire to drive their bus.
• Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.
• Loneliness magnified by jealousy when he’s not alongside her.
• Lonesomeness inadequately handled when caused by husband’s absence at work.
• Moodiness that flows from her inability to control events in her life to her satisfaction.
• Carelessness prompted by weak sense of responsibility.
• Sloppiness that reflects badly on husband to his friends and competitors.
• Phoniness energized by fear of her true character being found out.
• Political correctness brought on by sense of being victimized.
• Unfaithfulness that boils in oil her man’s sense of significance.

Now, Honey Child, I don’t expect you to master those things in girlhood. You may never get to the top of such a pedestal. But, as with other things in life, do the best you can with what you have where you’re at. You know where you’re headed. Coins of virtue can also pave a great path toward fulfilling your hopes and dreams.

You may not think a pedestal is worth the effort to build it. But someday, without ever being aware, you’ll find yourself so self-reliant in your thoughts and deeds that you’ll love yourself for whom and what you are. Building such a pedestal puts you into living up to someone bigger than yourself, namely who you can become.

1034. Feminators As Terminators I

First came the Feminazis, as Rush Limbaugh called them. A dozen or so hard-hearted women hated men, and they politicked and socially and legally engineered the U.S. into Feminism. Many generations* later their political offspring stir society against men. Whether gay, hetero, or ‘neutero’ as prime mover, they seek to sit astraddle the masculine world as dominant figures armed mostly with political correctness, sour attitudes, bitterness, and dreams of matriarchy.

Beware the Feminators! You know them: Faux-butchy, near-dykey, the ones that usually have the really short hair and act a lot like men.  Feminators, close cousins of terminators, are skilled at killing things, such as relationships. Also, their terminator attitude enables them to heal easily and without apparent treatment from those outside their circle.

The Feminators arose from the ashes of Feminism after it started to decay late last century. They are the ones least able to adjust their thinking and adapt their living outside the theories of Feminism. Instead of bending back toward Femininity as most women do, they perpetuate Feminism’s theories, propaganda, and values through political correctness.

How and why the country got in such a cultural mess is the subject of this series, and it continues next week with Feminator Friday II.

*Consider a generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often new generations of children makeover whatever their older siblings used as values, standards, and expectations. Consequently, looking at the past half-century, seven generations compounded whatever went before them.