Her Highness Laura faces this. “Not a single man I have “met” since my husband’s death through online dating or in ‘real life’ measures up to these criteria [that Guy cites]. I agree that they are the correct criteria. Does this mean that those of us who are single and refuse to lower our standards have to find some sort of peace in being on our own?”
Not at all. You only have to better challenge men to rise to your values, standards, and expectations. As examples, I have taken the previous list of things that women will never hear from men (post 1608), reworded them for womanly use, and rephrased them to challenge men to rise up to please one woman. A woman’s ad, chatting, phone-talk, and dating should include some of the following or something like it.
I suggest you start with phrasing similar to this: ‘You’ll have to trust that I’m a lady of quality and I’m looking for a man of similar worth. If you choose to respond, know that I’m looking to see what gentleman qualities you might bring to a date.’ [Only examples follow, your female imagination can improve the whole lot.]
- In three words or less for each, how do you view yourself with these terms? Modesty/ humility, mouthiness, appearance, and expectations about the role of a woman in your life. [Guy says, there’s nothing sacrosanct about these terms. You should develop your own.]
- In the course of a marriage, who do you think should work out the relationship kinks and help recover from mistakes? I know. Because I mention marriage, you assume that’s all I’m after. Not so. I seek to date men that honor the institution. I figure if they don’t, then they don’t honor women.
- Describe your work ethic and where you got it.
- On what occasion were you complimented about your sense of personal responsibility?
- Describe how your dad treated your mom. How did it affect you?
- Describe your relationship with your sister(s).
- I figure your ears don’t easily synchronize with woman-talk. Any ideas on how you might overcome that handicap?
- Which comes first? Friendship or romantic love?
- I view integrity as vital to staying power in a relationship. Can yours match mine?
- Tell me, what sours a man on marriage? What does marriage do for a man?
- I find it easy to admire men trained to live admirable lives, such as eagle scouting, soldiering with success, small business-owner success, and smooth gliding on the dance floor.
- If your oats are sowed, what comes next? Have you even thought about it?
- I’m no feminist. I seek to date a man that values social correctness over political correctness.
- I envision this kind of life. Very independent while single. Very dependent while married. I also expect the transition to be a long way off.
- I play piano and visualize harmonizing a home musically as example for harmonizing it domestically.
- I can’t help if you’re overweight. I might though, if you overeat.
- I expect you to wait for sex until I’m good and ready. First to talk about it, then to wonder and plan about it, and then to consummate. The trade off will be for your independence. If patience is a strong suit, I might be interested.
Overnight I thought of more.
- My girlfriends claim men are self-centered and not to be trusted. I think that may be the reaction of how they treat men.
- Church-going men seem to respect women easily, which makes it easier for a woman to reciprocate. A man respected deeply by a woman stands taller, don’t you think?
- Men are never more handsome than when they treat females as princesses, queens, and matriarchs. Is it worth what else you get in return?
- I know you’ll claim to be many things you think will interest me. Aim those things at this: I’m pretty enough, very modest, and highly value character in a man. I figure out the latter from what I conclude and not from the words that men choose to describe themselves.
Now, after reading this post, I’m sure you ladies are in rebellion. You can’t visualize yourself talking like that in ad, chat, phone-talk, or date. Great! Then what do you propose that makes men come out of the shell that feminists and gold diggers have taught them to hide within? What will disclose early-on what a man really is like? What gives women better info for early screening?
My view is that only shock and awe will disturb the males’ conviction that they know best what they are doing. Only bold and assertive women can convince them otherwise. Whatever they respond with obligates them to be that way and you have a head start.