1225. Ugliness

Ugliness ain’t how you look. It’s how you fit into your world. It rises out of the lack of feminine spirit and careless disregard for a female’s best interest.

Ugly is as ugly does. Practiced long enough, the following eventually capture a woman’s heart and shred her female nature:

• Think ugly and she moves in that direction. It clouds her mind. (If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right. As you think it, you become it.)
• Act ugly and she is. Her spirit shows it. If her heart doesn’t match her potential for beauty and attractiveness, then she confounds those with whom she associates.
• Quit trying to be pretty and she moves toward ugly. Her likeability suffers.

As explained at article 1143, prettiness floods the female nature from birth. She’s convinced of it throughout life. As girl and woman, however, she has to remind herself, reinforce weaknesses, and recover from challenges to her convictions.

In childhood mom lifts her spirits about her prettiness, but mostly her father confirms her prettiness persona by doing, teaching, and developing good habits of reminding, reinforcing, and recovering. He’s the irrevocable authority in such things, if she’s blessed enough to have him before puberty.

Ugliness sets in from bad habits:

• She gives up on proving herself prettier than others expect. Of course, it isn’t fair that others expect her to always look her best, especially men. Others think: If I were blessed like her, I would do better. When she doesn’t listen to her friends, her prettiness fades.
• She objects to men hitting on her. So, she dresses down and ignores painting the barn as preventive measures.
• Depression sets in from ignoring her prettiness, or depression from other causes drives her to ignore it or give up.
• Worldly discouragements cause her to quit reminding herself of her prettiness, reinforcing with upgrades, and recovering when doubts arise.

Finally, this paradox applies. When she prettifies herself for others, she abandons her own nature and phoniness follows. However, when she ‘unprettifies’ herself in contradiction of those she knows, she dumbs herself downward. Ugly is as ugly does.

605. Prettier is as Feminine Does #3

‘Pretty’ is how she looks to herself. She’s done her best to attire and groom herself well. Her physical attributes shine and physical weaknesses go unnoticed to her.

·        Some females try to make their selves pretty, some don’t, and some don’t know how. Lack of competition to look prettier than others lets prettiness standards die within Womanhood. Men see no united front of prettiness. Consequently, they have fewer incentives to chase females, simply because female aren’t competing to look prettier.

·        If women aren’t trying to appeal to men generally, men know they don’t care that much about men, which means they don’t care that much about being the kind of woman that men want to mate with, which means….  

·        Sexual attractiveness means a lot, but it  lacks holding power of the lasting kind. Femininity and feminine charm are much better foundations. They provide female magnetism that makes men enjoy female company, overlook flaws in their physical appearance, and keep coming back for more or deeper associations. (One lady claimed that Femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world.)

·        Women compete with each other to stand out, to appeal to men. They make themselves more valuable simply because they attract attention, are admired, and are therefore appreciated. Ability to stand out with both attractive appearance and feminine behaviors and without trying to gain attention, that’s the essence of ‘pretty’. Another reason appealing to the male gender is superior to trying to capture the attention of one man.

Two more posts follow on this subject.

604. Prettier is as Feminine Does #2

‘Pretty’ is how she looks to herself. She’s done her best to attire and groom herself. Her physical attributes shine and physical weaknesses go unnoticed to her.

·        Mirror-time spent making herself prettier builds on the feminine foundation. Women strut their independence when they add stylish refinements that various people then describe according to their own taste, whether cute, chic, elegant, fancy, or classy. Individual enhancements thus generate female competition. It earns manly respect, because female differences are so distinct.

·        Except for the guy that makes himself worthy of her hand for life, making herself pretty is the only obligation single females should feel toward men. If her prettiness isn’t enough to capture more than his attention, he’s not after her as person but what he can get out of her.   

·        Imagine two competing females trying to out-pretty each other. It’s like two guys chased by a bear. No need to shoot the bear, just shoot buddy in the foot. The difference for gals being chased by men: If she likes her Self as female, she has the gun. (The ‘gun’ might suggest cattiness but not intended that way: Cattiness is not female, it’s self-centeredness caused by low self-esteem or self-image and designed to make the catty person feel good about Self.)

·        A man’s view of prettiness is often distorted by his dealings with her. If unknown but sexually attractive, or if she’s a target for conquest, physical attractiveness outweighs pretty. If conquered, or unconquered but not a target, pleasing to male eyes and pleasant company rank as pretty.

Three more posts follow on this subject.

572. The Male Glance — Part II

Part I (570) describes men observing females. This flip side describes female preparing to be observed.

Females focus continually on how they appear. The female nature craves manly attention. She takes it as routine confirmation of her value to Self and to those she loves. Compliments work very well, but even flattery beats nothing. Known males are usually best, but strangers can be appreciated for attentions and what they say and do for her—if nice of course.

If father, husband, or boyfriend does not provide a sufficiency of attention, she yearns for more. Virtually any man can provide it, which is better than none, but good looking and eligible guys are much, much, much, much better—even if she’s committed to another.

Compliments confirm and reinforce value of herself to herself. Whatever her preparations and grooming for the occasion, she did well. Pride suffuses her spirit, and her prettiness and attractiveness are reinforced in both mind and appearance. She’s doing the right things with herself.    

Denied the attentions she thinks she deserves, especially as a girl, disappointment sets in. Over time she becomes careless, desperate to get her own man, or disgusted with Self, men, or both. Greater absence of attention follows, and her self-image becomes so devastated that she rationalizes sloppy or manly appearance as her choice. Depression follows easily.

PS. Incidentally, women complain about hits from workers on construction sites. Women shouldn’t; they are not the sex object they presume. Men show off to buddies and outshine competitors with boasts and outrageous displays of bravado. She’s the vehicle they use and not the target, unless she acts suggestive or responds provocatively.

448. VIRTUE—Magnet for Males —SECTION II

We know that men judge women mainly by their outer appearance. So, women focus on the males’ habits.

Women give men no credit for reading the inner woman, and, admittedly, men don’t do it well. But, men perceive subliminal messages that feed their self-interest, however weak, wrong, or garbled the signals.

Conquering thoughts fill a man’s mind. Simultaneously, his subconscious registers many messages that women either send by design, ignorance, or chance. The messages accumulate and synthesize into his interpretation of her virtues, from which he intuitively predicts her value to his present, future, or both.

Virtue ‘credits’ accumulate from her attire, grooming, attitude, and behaviors that emphasize:

©     Modesty rather than sex.

©     Persona rather than a specific shape.

©     Self-sufficiency rather than need-for-attention.

©     Self-respect rather than easytoget.

©     Hardtoget rather than low self-esteem.

©     Respect for other women rather than trying to steal their man.

©     Self-confidence rather than worry.

©     Avoiding shame and guilt rather than recovering from it.

©     Enjoyable femaleness rather than sense of inferiority.

©     Inner strength rather than emotional weakness.

©     Open pleasantness rather than anger.

©     Prettiness rather than comfort.

©     Neatness rather than sloppiness.

©     Hits as compliment rather than taking offense.

©     Morality imposed over the immoral.

©     Authority rather than vulnerability.

©     Character rather than uncertainty.

©     Standards rather than wishy-washiness.

©     Mystery rather than disclosure.

©     Need for respect rather than popularity.

©     Unmarried sex as taboo rather than okay.

©     Female pride rather than faked masculinity.

The value that men place on these and other factors varies by individual. But the accumulation and synthesis of messages determines her virtuous character, her value to his present and future.

The next post describes learning about virtue.