136. Virtual Virginity—#6

People highly value the unavailable or unattainable. A male chasing a female ultimately boils down to one question: What’s her ‘price’ to be sexually attainable for him?

·   The higher her ‘price’, the greater her perceived value, and the greater his effort must be to discover her ‘price’, earn her acceptance, and decide whether or not to pay it.

·   Repeated refusals for their first-time sex together makes her appear unattainable. This adds value to her, escalates her ‘price’ notch by notch, keeps him guessing, and pushes him to try  harder. If she holds out long enough, this makes him decide whether she’s worth her ultimate price—most likely marriage.

·   Men feast with their eyes. The higher her ‘price’, the more attractiveness she adds to whatever he already perceives of her. Strengthened desire works much like a few martinis with this exception: Attractiveness swelled by martinis doesn’t last.

·         He wonders: What’s her price to be sexually accessible to other men? VirtVirgin signals she’s not active. If he can’t penetrate her defenses, other men can’t either. After all, he’s First Stud in his eyes.

Before conquest, if she’s unwilling or unable to match wits and wills, his dominance will always prevail in their relationship.

[More about VirtVirgin appears at posts 125, 96, 70, 51, 44, and 25.]

125. Virtual Virginity—#5

Virtual Virginity, aka VirtVirgin, means keeping her legs crossed before marriage. It puts her in the buyer’s seat and forces a man to be the seller, to make himself worthy of her instead of the other way around.

Her attractiveness spikes his interest for sex. It’s up to her to convert his interests to her. VirtVirgin does it best.

Her first refusal intensifies his effort. Subsequent refusals push him to look ever deeper for weaknesses, so as to capitalize on whatever will get her in bed. (This all presumes he accepts her refusals as other than rejections of him.)

As her refusals continue in courtship, he serendipitously discovers her admirable strengths and non-sexual qualities. These earn more respect for her potential as a keeper. (Provided, of course, he’s more  interested in her than just conqueror’s sex.)

That’s how VirtVirgin works to benefit her as buyer.  By contrast, enabling his conquest before marriage  reverses their roles:

·         He becomes the buyer and pays whatever low price she lets him get by with prior to conquest.

·         As the seller, she pays the highest possible cost, because she has only one conquest event with each man. (Women may not see it that way, but men do. Men change after conquest, and this forces women to change to stay abreast of him. (See more about their changes at post 27 below.)

·         Conquest is a relationship-changing event for a man. He quits looking so attentively at a conquered woman. Nature releases his mindset to pursue something or somebody else.

·         By yielding unmarried sex, she let him know what price she charges for submission. This naturally, automatically, and subconsciously programs his mind on how their relationship will work in the future.

·         This enlarges his expectations for getting his way with her—we’re talking greater male dominance here, aren’t we?

That’s how the act of denying unmarried sex turns her into winner and providing it enables him to move on to something other than intensely focusing on her. The longer and more intensely he stays focused on her, the greater their bonding and the more promising their future together.  

[More on VirtVirgin appears at posts 96, 70, 51, 44, 26, and 25 below.]

110. Matrimony or acrimony?

How women integrate and harmonize these factors into their marriage can determine the outcome.

§  Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This empowers them to become relationship experts, which positions them to know how to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage. Men have neither such expertise nor interest.

§  Men are driven to compete with Nature, against other men, and to control and shape human events. Their sex drive is but a subset, because women can easily tame male aggression and sex drive through social and personal values, standards, and expectations. (Men prefer fingernails on a slate chalk board to competing with women, especially their wife. Not in simple games, but in the major processes of life¾key decision-making and bringing home the bacon. Modern women do not like it, but they also do not like the marital collapse that follows when they don’t heed their man’s natural inclination.)

§  A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. She seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill these needs, she must give of herself to a help-mate, or do it alone and lonesome.

§  Men absolutely need only one thing¾a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. If she does not want to maintain at least a hut for him, someone else will.

§  Women do not absolutely need a man, but they want company. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people. Two men won’t knowingly share her, so one man best fulfills her wants.

§  He wants the freedom to do as he chooses, especially to make himself stand out as a competitor, his own man, a man of significance.  He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce or reproduce, or just do something new or exciting¾even in his spare time.  She must pay a continuing price for him to curtail his freedom in favor of her.

§  A woman’s time focus emerges from her primal need to brighten her future. Most of her present-day concerns were handled as part of yesterday’s future. She dreams a lot about enhancing and making her relationship more solid.

§  A man’s time focus emerges from his primal readiness to compete, which mandates that he focus on today and its problems. He knows full well he can solve tomorrow’s problems, when they arrive. Where women dream about the future, his primary concern for the future revolves around what he can do today to prepare for tomorrow. 

[More sex differences are shown in the following posts. Enter the highlighted number in the Search box above.] 

Love 103	106
Love 102	105
Love 101	104
Sex differences explain men—Chap.9	95
Sex differences explain men—Chap.8	83
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 7	74
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 6	63
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 5	53
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 4	43
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 3	35
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 2	29
Sex differences explain women too	28
Conquest changes her	27
Three Little Words	21
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 1	4

13. Is commitment enough?

Commitment comes in words and depends on faith by the listener. Devotion can be seen in actions that make both words and faith unnecessary.

Commitment confirms one’s intentions about the future, which may only be what the listener wants to hear.

Commitments fall apart easily, but devotion is often killed by the receiver of it.

Inspired by politics, Feminism, and the popularity of harshly judging men, modern wives run a tab on husband’s inadequacies, weaknesses, and failures. She pays the price as her self-fulfilling prophecy fulfills to kill his commitment or weaken his devotion.

Women seek commitment with a man, even as they turn away another man devoted to them. In short, women want a man that turns them on early in life, but later they want something else. They marry, divorce, and finally end up with a high school chum that used to adore or even worship them.

Life 101 teaches young girls how to discriminate between the respect, value, and expectations of real life commitment and devotion. But, modern girls cut class.