Tag Archives: rejection

640. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 34


  • Men fear rejection on initial encounters, but they get over it. Women take rejection much harder and recovery is especially difficult if she thinks a relationship has started.

 

  • Husband takes wife for granted, when she displays the independence that men commonly show. He sees her doing well if his attention is not required. Her self-confidence and complaint-free attitude thus work against her. She takes him for granted when she focuses her efforts on the kids or her career.

 

  • As men see it, single women display themselves according to the value they place on their sexual assets. Advertising and sloppy and unattractive appearance means low cost for sex. Attractive neatness and highly modest appearance translates as high cost. As women see it, they value their sexual assets as reward for a guy’s love. Ironically, after capturing boyfriend or husband, they downgrade their appearance, which reduces value of their sexual assets, which downgrades sex for imaginative rewards, which weakens his interest.

 

  • Men respond more to thinking than feelings and don’t like to think that they change. They are also more reluctant to divulge what lies in their heart. Women respond more to feelings, disclose them more readily, and change them more easily.

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489. DATING 4: Asking for First Date II


We return to the workings of the male mind, as it considers asking for first date.

Impressions are stronger than facts, because we’re emotional creatures. Mystery about her sexual proclivities works best to attract his asking for first date.

©     Men admire chastity in a woman, but they don’t hit on nuns. Why? Respect, of course, and lack of hope. As Emerson claims: The world turns on hope.

©     If hopeful of sex and he’s not playing it vague and unavailable, he normally asks for a date. If she declares, avows, or everyone knows that she’s into no sex without marriage, she eliminates hope and might as well be in nun’s habit. Why ask for date unless he already seeks to marry on her terms?

©     Mystery surrounding her chasteness is stronger and more a challenge than is the certainty or absence of it. A sprinkling of suspicion about her standards does far more to capture a man’s curiosity and spark his imagination for conquest, hence make him more likely to ask her out.

©     Mystery pays. Smiles without reason, friendliness without eagerness, and preliminary conversation without sex overtones pays off. Familiarity reduces mystery and works against her. Sex lures and objectification, for example, reduce risk for him. It also reduces respect and value for her.

©     Females fish with full disclosure, as if males appreciate it as women do. This gives a male time and info to reduce his risk of rejection. First date may result, but less risk means weaker investment of his Self, which means less value and respect for her, which weakens prospects for second date.

Summarizing, chasteness earns a man’s respect and admiration, but his knowledge of its certainty can discourage asking for first date.

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337. Unsafe at Any Speed


When most females ‘put out’ easily and casually, sexual relations work against female safety. Males take rejection personal, as female condemnation.

Each attractive female has what he’s after, because male hormones push for sex. When sex is cheap, he looks for easy stuff rather than spin wheels screening for the female of his dreams.

Her rejection spawns bitterness, aggression, and violence. Rejection imagined as extremely personal turns boys, and those men who can’t handle it, toward extreme aggressiveness and even violence.

When No Sex without Marriage is the strategy used by most women and honored by girls, males do not so easily take rejection personal. If rebuffed, they assume her character and moral standards reject his invitation, so females are not rejecting him personally.

This turns men away from sex for its own sake and pushes them to compete for a woman with sex as follow-on. This requires and males accept that they suppress aggressiveness and violence. They make themselves more female-friendly.

In this way, the sexual habits of most females stifle male aggression and violence toward individuals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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182. Female Fortitude — 11 through 15


11.      Much that one hears today about self-esteem is psychobabble confused for and with self-image and self-interest.

12.      Men receive distinct sexual messages from every woman, and it starts with boob display. Women have three options. Two accept and one resists male dominance.

13.      Commitment comes in words and depends on faith by the listener. Devotion can be seen in actions that make both words and faith unnecessary.

14.      When No Sex without Marriage is the strategy used by most women and honored by girls, males do not take rejection personal. When most women are loose, they stimulate aggression and violence, because men take rejection personal.

15.      Modern men deal with females as sex consumables. Modern females advertise and provide the sexual equivalent of video games just waiting to be played. This diminishes unconditional respect for all females and reduces the size of the pool of the Marrying Man.

 

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide themes or summarize posts. The paragraph numbers match the posts. Others appear in post 176.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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125. Virtual Virginity—#5


Virtual Virginity, aka VirtVirgin, means keeping her legs crossed before marriage. It puts her in the buyer’s seat and forces a man to be the seller, to make himself worthy of her instead of the other way around.

Her attractiveness spikes his interest for sex. It’s up to her to convert his interests to her. VirtVirgin does it best.

Her first refusal intensifies his effort. Subsequent refusals push him to look ever deeper for weaknesses, so as to capitalize on whatever will get her in bed. (This all presumes he accepts her refusals as other than rejections of him.)

As her refusals continue in courtship, he serendipitously discovers her admirable strengths and non-sexual qualities. These earn more respect for her potential as a keeper. (Provided, of course, he’s more  interested in her than just conqueror’s sex.)

That’s how VirtVirgin works to benefit her as buyer.  By contrast, enabling his conquest before marriage  reverses their roles:

·         He becomes the buyer and pays whatever low price she lets him get by with prior to conquest.

·         As the seller, she pays the highest possible cost, because she has only one conquest event with each man. (Women may not see it that way, but men do. Men change after conquest, and this forces women to change to stay abreast of him. (See more about their changes at post 27 below.)

·         Conquest is a relationship-changing event for a man. He quits looking so attentively at a conquered woman. Nature releases his mindset to pursue something or somebody else.

·         By yielding unmarried sex, she let him know what price she charges for submission. This naturally, automatically, and subconsciously programs his mind on how their relationship will work in the future.

·         This enlarges his expectations for getting his way with her—we’re talking greater male dominance here, aren’t we?

That’s how the act of denying unmarried sex turns her into winner and providing it enables him to move on to something other than intensely focusing on her. The longer and more intensely he stays focused on her, the greater their bonding and the more promising their future together.  

[More on VirtVirgin appears at posts 96, 70, 51, 44, 26, and 25 below.]

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50. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 03


From Matrimony to Acrimony—In the couples’ world today graciousness drowns, mutual gratefulness withers, and husbands respond disruptively. Respect, courtesy, and good manners disappear. Male aggression escalates. Masculine strengths and manly civility are purposely under appreciated, and men resent, resist, and retaliate.

Devotion seldom forms, and commitment means temporary. Husbands shift focus to another blossom, and wives seek escape from misery-with-a-man to misery-without.

But it worsens in the modern world of masculine-style sexual freedom for everyone. Men and women first meet, interact, and even date. He delivers attention and persuasion, and she’s supposed to follow by providing unobligated sex. It’s all done for fun and lust according to mutual taste. She may even initiate. That’s the model.

The reality proves different because of intolerable effects on some men.  

Old school. Women seek marriage before sex. When a woman denies sex to the man, he doesn’t take rejection personally. He blames the rejectionist for moral, religious, or female hang-ups to assuage his ego. His self-esteem and self-image don’t take unrecoverable hits. He understands that women are in charge of sexual mores, and his self-interest keeps him in pursuit of sex targets without wanting to punish females for rejection.

New school. When most females provide free, open, and casual sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. A man knows she’s doing it with other guys but not him. Why just him? His self-esteem bottoms out. His self-image as a ‘good man’ with a woman dwindles. His ego takes a humongous hit after his imagination ruminates over her put down. His self-interest shifts toward revenge mode.

Some males cannot recover one much less repeated refusals. Rejections can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.

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14. When women are loose, they lose


When most females ‘put out’ easily and casually, sexual relations work against female safety. Males hitting on a female take rejection personal, as female condemnation. She carries what he is after, but when sex is cheap, the male nature pushes hormonally for sex and not the female. Rejection spawns bitterness, aggression, and violence. Rejection imagined as extremely personal turns boys, and those men who can’t handle it, toward extreme aggressiveness and even violence. 

When No Sex without Marriage is the strategy used by most women and honored by girls, males do not so easily take rejection personal. If rebuffed, they assume her personal character and standards reject his invitation, so females are not rejecting his person. This turns men away from competing for sex for its own sake and pushes them to compete for a woman rather than sex. This requires and males accept and rationalize that they must suppress aggressiveness and violence. In this way, the sexual habits of most females govern the level of male aggression and violence.

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